Truckpusher: Does marriage guarantee happiness?

nop bat wat if ur old boi didnt get married?

Gynacologist: nop bat wat if ur old boi didnt get married?

Then I wouldn't be here being afraid of ebola

2scorehigh:

Eeyaa Vivy, thing is in reality, methinks what you just suggested is easier said than done.

Well, and I may sound harsh, but if you cannot effectively communicate about your own personal needs to someone who you are supposed to be in love with, then you should wait before embarking in serious relationship. Effective communication is saying the right things at the right time. I'm more traditional in my view of roles, I personally prefer if my man can spell out exactly what he's looking for. At least his short and long term plans. Almost like job interview,and to get the role of my boyfriend and man, I need a man who can stand the selection process.

Truckpusher: Then I wouldn't be here being afraid of ebola

u scared of tat shit?

Gynacologist: u scared of tat shit?

Who no dey fear?

franzis: I’d feel like I just wasted four years of my life if this is not heading anywhere

Girl: So…
Guy: So…
Girl: I need for us to have this conversation
Guy: What conversation?
Girl: We’ve been together for four years
Guy: Yea?
Girl: And I need to know where this is heading to
Guy: Oh boy!
Girl: Listen baby, it is only fair to define this. Four years of my life is a lot to ask for
Guy: What do you mean?
Girl: I’d feel like I just wasted four years of my life if this is not heading anywhere
Guy: Babe, it’s a relationship… not a death sentence.
Girl: You don’t get it, do you?
Guy: Make me get it
Girl: It is time to define US. Where are we heading to?
Guy: We…we are in a relationship. It’s a destination. Isn’t that enough?
Girl: So where is the next bus-stop?
Guy: Every day we stop and pick up new ways of loving each other…that’s how it works.
Girl: So when do we get to the bus-stop where you propose to me? Or aren’t we going to get engaged?
Guy: …
Girl: Baby, say something!
Guy: I earn N120k… I am not ready for marriage.
Girl: I didn’t say marriage, I said engagement.
Guy: What’s the difference? One is supposed to lead to the other, right?
Girl: Baby, I have to wear an engagement ring just for the satisfaction of knowing that this is leading somewhere
Guy: For how long? Another four years? So you can finally brand me a monster for tying you down for eight years?
Girl: Do you plan to tie me down for that long?
Guy: I don’t know, babe. I just know that I’ve seen too many f%&ked up situations and I am in no hurry to get engaged or married or any of that.
Girl: So are we f%&ked up?
Guy: No…but…look at Francis and his wife…they quarrel like drunk cats! Guy earns barely above what I earn and he already has two kids. The minute you get married the kids start popping out like popcorn. It’s shitty. It doesn’t interest me at all.
Girl: Wait, let me understand what you are saying… Are you saying marriage is shitty, and you have no interest in having kids?
Guy: No, not right now. I’m not interested. I can’t afford that lifestyle on my salary.
Girl: Then dream bigger, aim higher…’cos I’m tired of waiting!
Guy: Then don’t wait. You don’t have shackles on your feet.
Girl: WHAT?!
Guy: Babe, see…I love you, but I’m not going to promise what I can’t afford to give. If you can understand that then we can continue loving each other, if not then it’s fine. I understand.
Girl: I can’t believe you!
Guy: Wh…what do you want me to do?
Girl: The right thing!
Guy: But this is the right thing. I’m not going to lie to you nah!
Girl: So four years just go by like that and I’m supposed to just walk away?
Guy: Don’t walk. Stay with me.
Girl: Until when?
Guy: Until…what do you mean, “until when?” Isn’t this a relationship?
Girl: That is heading nowhere!
Guy: Ok…ok! So it seems we have very different views about this, ‘cos if you ask me I’ll tell you that this is fulfilling in itself, and it is enough for me- just having you in my life and sharing it together.
Girl: I will never forgive you if you don’t do the right thing. And God will judge you.
Guy: Oh boy! What are you on about?
Girl: If you think you can just use me and dump me…
Guy: Use you?! How? We are dating! How is that “using” in anyway?
Girl: And I’m supposed to just stay in a relationship that has no plans to evolve?
Guy: I thought we were evolving just fine. Loving, sharing, learning…
Girl: This is bullshit! And karma will get you for this!
Guy: Babe, I didn’t f%&k you without your permission. Everything we did, we did because we wanted to. And if we break up now, it will be because we stopped wanting the same things. Our needs changed. Mine is still straight, but you want other things I can’t give; so how does that make me a bad guy?
Girl: Is this a plan to marry someone else? Piss me off and then go get a new chick, abi?
Guy: You are not listening…you never listen. I am presenting to you a simple case: I do not have the money to buy you an engagement ring…I don’t have money to pay LindaIkeji to cover our “surprise engagement” that we’d have at The Galleria, with your palm over your mouth feigning surprise and acting like you didn’t tie my balls to do it. I do not have money to entertain your friends and family…and I, sure as hell, do not have the money to plan a wedding, or move you into my small apartment. And I will not have kids popping out from every hole in your body just so I can tick all of society’s boxes. I don’t have the money…and guess what, I don’t have any interest in doing all of that.
Girl: So why did you date me?
Guy: Gosh! Are you serious?!
Girl: Answer me, damn it!
Guy: I dated you because we liked each other! Heck, you showed as much interest as I did… you attacked me like a tigress on our first night. I didn’t force you to cook, clean…you did it willingly just as much as I did all I did freely. Why are you now making it seem like we had an agreement four years ago that I am reluctant to fulfil?
Girl: I am a woman, and you let my biological clock tick away like that!
Guy: Aaaaargh! What do you want from me?
Girl: Ok…what if I settle everything? I work too and I can buy the engagement ring for myself and pay for a photographer to capture the moment. It will be on a yacht not at The Galleria…I’ll pay BellaNaija to put it up. All you need to do is slip it into my finger. For the wedding, I’ve been saving for four years. I have enough to cover my dress, the cake, the hall, the food, MC and photographer… you can take care of your suit and the Deejay.
Guy: Wow! What can I say? Are you sure you are not on some cheap meds?
Girl: Excuse me?!
Guy: Babe, you know what? I think it is best we break up. I can’t deal with this right now.
Girl: Really?!
Guy: Yes, really.
Girl: You evil man! I stayed with you, nursed you when you were ill…bought you the best gifts four years in a roll for your birthday…sucked you, kissed you, loved you like you were the last man on earth…
Guy: I sucked you too; ate you well like you were the sweetest cake in the store; bought you nice gifts; travelled with you; heard you cry, laugh… helped you get better at your job…supported you when you feared you had breast cancer. I did what a boyfriend should do. So what’s your point?
Girl: Shut up! You devil!
Guy: *sighs* Babe, I can’t give you what you want. I’m just not ready for it. I’m sorry.
Girl: I gave you the best years of my life.
Guy: And I gave you the best of what I could afford. Cut the pity party, abeg. You are the one asking for more, you are the one who’s unfair. So why blame me? You are the one ending the relationship; I’m just trying to be sincere.
Girl: God will shame you! I will get married before the end of this year.
Guy: Oho! So you’ve been cheating on me?
Girl: I never cheated, but God sees my heart and He will give me my heart desire and shame my enemies.
Guy: So you’ll be getting married to a stranger then?
Girl: Love happens in mysterious ways!
Guy: Good. Send me an invite.
***
PS: Ah Love! What a burriful thang!

I would say u waited for too long. 2 years max ago u had to have this conversation. i wasted 6 years. with different guy married after 2. he doesn't make sense at all. i don't understand that view that man has to build palace before he can marry. we are both in one, we r both working for same aim, we can build palace together. i don't need to come to your palace and and feel that i must be always grateful for what u gave. i rather create future together and feel equal

Some dudes are just so happy doing that....

rightym:
Well said. But note DAT if a guy is not ready for marriage he should not get involve in a relationship in de first place. And even if he must do let him tell his partner his plans of not ending up in marriage so that they will both be on de same page.

Instead of callously getting a lady waiting for yearz only to realised she will not be walking down de aisle.

Wat if de girl is ur sister ?

Of cos,d guy should not venture into it if not ready. But how many ladies r prepared to be wit d guy thru thick n thin?

Eni awi fun, oba je ko gbo o.
Lokunrin Lobinrin

daveP: Franzis, i feel like i should continue the above.... Permit me





( about 7months later at a party, the Dj dropd Dbanj's fall in love, waist are twisting, some drunk buddies carry themselves respectably. But it is obvious they are nt stable)



Girl: oh my, im feeling scared ben(the new guy)

ben: why? We are in dis together baby. I hope this isnt about what gboyega did to you. (her face affirms it) cmon sweety..


Girl: (looks him in d eye)

ben: ive been thinking..... (stared face across at the dj that nods his head in exhilaration to his music) if life is so harsh... Il like to beat it to its own game..(kneels down and brings out platinum-coated 12-carat engagement ring) Will u be my wife, my best friend, greates pal and the one i call my 'one'?


Girl: (covers her face and stands up) yes ben, yes ben!!(screams and hugs him. Those around are aware and start clapping, the drunk ones inclusive)






........... To be continued

(somewhere in Surulere, Gboyega sips his bottle, probably beer. He couldnt contain himselfs since Abimbola called it quits. He hissed and stood, he needed to settled down soon, but his pay wasnt enough. He knew this bitter truth but felt he could 'always manage'. He dialled donbandonz number)


Gboye: ma guy xup now.

Donba: gboye wetin dey now, i hear say bimbo waka go....

Gboye: dont mind that bast**d, always thinking life's a bed of roses. I knew she was seeing someone o. Imagine 4years waste like dat....(he ranted on)

Donba: guy chill now. Haba. I tell u say u no fit see correct babe weey fit settle down. U no gree now una don see. Make una con flex small for my side. I get packaging for u.


Gboye: guy u fall ma hand o. Well i go try show.

Donba: shey na dat job stuff. Go look for beter job jare. 120k!! Me wey u dey teach for uni.... Abeg na dis kine job u dey do.... Go find 500, go delta, PH dey. Cool cash. Easy... No forget o. Sha come 1st. We go yarn... (cuts the call and pecks one of d chick besides him) jst a close friend.


Girl: hmm, that sounded serious, like about settling down

Donba: (knowing where she's tryna drive at and stands up) erm. Il be right back(sips a lil moet and rushes out with two other dudes)

Girl: (hisses) donbadonz!!(laughs silently) If not for cash.......

marieolae: This guy doesn't have any intentions in marrying her. 4 years is not a joke at all. He literally just wasted her time. Mehn they say these hoes aint loyal, but really these guys aint serious at all. Pure BS!

It doesn't mean that. Guys and ladies (of the same age group) have different perspective when it comes to such situations. The girl thinks its about age... The guy think its about maturity and readiness. Age is natural but maturity is not.

realborn:

N120k and contributions from the wife can grow a family. Is the lady ready to accept the low key lifestyle their combined income can afford? The constraint is that the guy knows he has a 'wanna be' girl friend. It is evident in her request to stage manage the engagement process with fanfare which her man cannot afford.

My first engagement ring to my wife, 5 years after we started dating was bought at N1000. She wore it until it faded. 3 years after, I bought her the best engagement ring ever; we got married the year after and her rings were directly procured from Italy. Today, we may not have the world, but she spends her vacation in any part of the world she desires.

She paid her dues and stayed with me for 9 years when I had only a freaking pair of leather slippers and overstarched/oversized shirts. When things got tough after the wedding she stayed through and supported all the way with every penny of hers. Now life is better, she definitely has to enjoy and shall continue to enjoy.

i use to have such girl but i am d bad guy now i av lose her.... When i grow larger in life i hope to get her back... U described my girl

dBard:

read her 6th comment, that might explain d guys disposition.

Basically agree wit ur observations tho

This is her 6th comment

Girl: I’d feel like I just wasted four years of my life if this is not heading anywhere

Was the guy not supposed to reassure her?

Samyj247:

De there make pant de wear u. I want to ask u a question!!! Have u ever opened ur kpekus for his bomb to enter? If yes, then u are the cause of that. Una fish brain no go ever get sense for once.

Do u av to b abusive/haul insults 2 prove ur point? Giv ur opinion/advice like a civilized person.

I'm on the same page with the guy. I think he wants to get married, but finance is holding him back. He is one of those guys that had a terrible childhood with a poor father who couℓdn't take care of him, and so he told himself that the situation will not repeat itself. He wishes to get married but dσesη't want to have to struggle hard to take care of his family, and I think that's wise. The girl may pay for all the wedding proceedings, but the wedding is just for one day. The guy will live with the trauma for the rest of his life of not being able to live up to expectation, and that kills faster than anything. Ladies, try to understand. Guys want to get married, but look at the guy's point-He dσesη't want to have a family that will suffer because he wants to fulfil soceital demands/culture. On a final note, they can just do a small wedding and both of them share every family expense at certain percentages, maybe the husband pays 55% of every bill (school fees and clothes inclusive) and the woman pays the 45% remaining. Abi?

bukatyne:

This is her 6th comment

Girl: I’d feel like I just wasted four years of my life if this is not heading anywhere

Was the guy not supposed to reassure her?

'wasted'
In a mutual, loving relationship? ?

Haba now!
I'll probably respond the same way d guy did.


Not saying he wasn't insensitive sha, but she might 've bin a bit less reckless wit her words.

dBard:


'wasted'
In a mutual, loving relationship? ?

Haba now!
I'll probably respond the same way d guy did.


Not saying he wasn't insensitive sha, but she might 've bin a bit less reckless wit her words.

She obviously wanted something different so felt her time was wasted

bukatyne:

She obviously wanted something different so felt her time was wasted

It seems you agree with the girl's position that 4 years of her life have been wasted. If you do...do you think its also right to conclude the same fate for the guy too?

kaboninc:

It seems you agree with the girl's position that 4 years of her life have been wasted. If you do...do you think its also right to conclude the same fate for the guy too?

Look at it this way...

You enter Uni to get a degree and after four years, you are rusticated or for some reasons could not get it; does it feel like wasted four years? does it matter if you wore the best clothes, won most handsome etc.?

You didnot achieve the purpose of entering the uni and that is a waste.

Now imagine you enter university with the aim to flex; your parents have one company you are to inherit and they probably forced you to school. If after four years, you no get pali, will it matter?

bukatyne:

Look at it this way...

You enter Uni to get a degree and after four years, you are rusticated or for some reasons could not get it; does it feel like wasted four years? does it matter if you wore the best clothes, won most handsome etc.?

You didnot achieve the purpose of entering the uni and that is a waste.

Now imagine you enter university with the aim to flex; your parents have one company you are to inherit and they probably forced you to school. If after four years, you no get pali, will it matter?

Firstly I would have preferred you replied with a definite answer and go on to prove your point. Secondly from the narration, its very clear that there is a bond and that bond is defined by the relationship mutually consented to and freely entered by the guy and lady without any form of coercion.

Going by your analogy, if I am rusticated, then I can consider my years spent in the university as a waste or some form of knowledge gain depending on my personal perspective of life: a loss if I indeed call it a loss and a gain if I am determined to succeed - no knowledge is a waste. In actual sense the relationship between the university and I was a waste (if I consider it to be). Lol. Same with this couple, they 'enjoyed' themselves, had fun together and for every action taken either as an individual or a group, they bear the responsibility. Don't you think its contradictory to say that you had fun, and excitement during the four years and later when the tide comes, you say all the time spent was a waste (4 years as a waste)?

This has become the habit of ladies who lack foresight and look for cheap blackmail or petty emotional justice to lay a blame on a guy simply because he refuses her insatiable need. One can only conclude that in other to pacify and accept the 'accusation', the guy can simply accept to marry the lady; question is have you thought about the consequences? If the guy has the same thought process as the lady then its only fair to conclude that both saw their years together as a waste; unless the guy has a different mindset. Personally I find it petty when a lady tells me that I wasted her years with me when we mutually agreed to be in a relationship. Either am a responsible partner and my partner is irresponsible or the reverse, we both have the right to claim wastage of years. The society just have this way of protecting a woman.

My interest here is on the claim made by the lady of wasting four years of her life.

So 120k is too small to plan a family. Stewpid excuse

bukatyne:

Look at it this way...

You enter Uni to get a degree and after four years, you are rusticated or for some reasons could not get it; does it feel like wasted four years? does it matter if you wore the best clothes, won most handsome etc.?

You didnot achieve the purpose of entering the uni and that is a waste.

Now imagine you enter university with the aim to flex; your parents have one company you are to inherit and they probably forced you to school. If after four years, you no get pali, will it matter?

They BOTH Consented to be in a relationship.
They BOTH obviously went out of their way t please each other
It WAS, apparently, a loving, mutually benefiting relationship.
Calling ALL That a waste just to prove her selfish point/emotionally blackmail d guy is simply put..underhanded.
So if am to go by ur analogy, students that go in f a 4 yr course n eventually end up spending 6yrs or more b4 graduating shld consider all that a waste? ?
She obviously wasn't in a relationship but a race against society's expectations.

kaboninc:

Firstly I would have preferred you replied with a definite answer and go on to prove your point. Secondly from the narration, its very clear that there is a bond and that bond is defined by the relationship mutually consented to and freely entered by the guy and lady without any form of coercion.

Going by your analogy, if I am rusticated, then I can consider my years spent in the university as a waste or some form of knowledge gain depending on my personal perspective of life: a loss if I indeed call it a loss and a gain if I am determined to succeed - no knowledge is a waste. In actual sense the relationship between the university and I was a waste (if I consider it to be). Lol. Same with this couple, they 'enjoyed' themselves, had fun together and for every action taken either as an individual or a group, they bear the responsibility. Don't you think its contradictory to say that you had fun, and excitement during the four years and later when the tide comes, you say all the time spent was a waste (4 years as a waste)?

This has become the habit of ladies who lack foresight and look for cheap blackmail or petty emotional justice to lay a blame on a guy simply because he refuses her insatiable need. One can only conclude that in other to pacify and accept the 'accusation', the guy can simply accept to marry the lady; question is have you thought about the consequences? If the guy has the same thought process as the lady then its only fair to conclude that both saw their years together as a waste; unless the guy has a different mindset. Personally I find it petty when a lady tells me that I wasted her years with me when we mutually agreed to be in a relationship. Either am a responsible partner and my partner is irresponsible or the reverse, we both have the right to claim wastage of years. The society just have this way of protecting a woman.

My interest here is on the claim made by the lady of wasting four years of her life.

well said..

proxillin: So 120k is too small to plan a family. Stewpid excuse

. I wonder o my bruva, som guys earn far less dan dat nd dey av a family already. It all depends on management.

rightym: See dis girl is right to de core. She may not ve a substitute as insinuated by many. But de truth is de guy does not ve her in his plan even if dey continuing dating for ten years.
Guy u re earning 120k and u re afraid of commitment ? U Don't want marriage but u want to date her until she get to menopause, u will den joyfully go marry a younger lady to bare u kids..

Wake up and stop spiting sh*t.

Exactly! Even if he is earning 20k. if a man loves a woman and they are compatible then marry her, together you can build the empire you want.

Wat happens if as you are waiting for millions before you marry and the millions never come?? Would u now start looking for a wife at 50??
Senseless guy in that op and all in this thread supporting him

princesa: Lol...boys and girls losing their consciences since 18 BC.

Being in a relationship means more than just a union of a man and woman, too bad some people don't understand

Beautiful! If you can't evolve your relationship each passing day then forget it.

femmefatale: This is actually my experience.....almost five years and guy talks and reasons exactly like d guy here. He wants us 2 continue d relationship but wt no commitment. Says he's not ready financially yet he works in a multinational company nd earns beta dan whr he was last year(@ least his excuse last year was he cudnt make a family wt d kinda job he was doing dn). Dis year d excuse too is, he's nt ready financially nd also psychologically. Can't continue 2 write abt d relationshp. We actually once (if nt more dan once)had a conversation like dis nd his responses were just identical 2 dis guy's. In fact, d diff is d use of words bt dey av d same implication. Men!!!

You better find your level because sure a man is not ready for you.

tosinisrael5678: First the engagement ring then then the wedding ring n next suffe[b]ring[/b] then they turnto lords of the ring......this is a style for those that rush into marriage.....abegi marraige is a destination to death. Y start it on time....i wanna enjoy ma singlehood[not in immoralities sha] ...to me, the guy n gal are both correct in their respective ways.... but they re more like unmarried couple[cos they re already doing wat marries pple do].....

unmarried couple?? Wat is that After banging the girl and using her you wanna dump her for another man.
Crazy bunch of people we have everywhere what has Africa turned into?

macof:
You better find your level because sure a man is not ready for you.

Exactly, but he doesn't wanna let go yet he's nt ready 2 commit. He begs each time I say no more.

femmefatale: Exactly, but he doesn't wanna let go yet he's nt ready 2 commit. He begs each time I say no more.

madam pls be smart with your relationship and future. You both need to have understood eachother from the beginning.

To me, a relationship is already a commitment only that it is meant to evolve into something bigger, when you've spent enough time (not too much time) together you should know if you continue or you end it..

McWhillion:
It's not your business 'cos you're married?

I dey feel that your signature.

macof:
madam pls be smart with your relationship and future. You both need to have understood eachother from the beginning.

To me, a relationship is already a commitment only that it is meant to evolve into something bigger, when you've spent enough time (not too much time) together you should know if you continue or you end it..

Hmm.... Tnx