There he is. The man you have been waiting to meet and you two have 'fallen in love'. It's grand, it's wonderful, it's just peachy! He adores you and wants to spend every waking moment with you. The 'newness' of this relationship is fresh and exciting. You are thrilled to have finally met the man who could be in your future and he tells you that you are like a dream come true. It always starts off this way, right?

Wouldn't it be just as grand if those emotions and the 'high' of a new relationship were still there say seven years later or how about twelve years later? Male friends have told me many times that it is easier for women because we can just sit there and wait to be chased. They have told me that the right woman can get any man she desires. This is where it gets tricky however. the art of keeping a man is another story. I am going to share with you what I have learned straight from the 'mouth's of men', male friends of mine who have told me in no uncertain terms what makes a woman a 'keeper'. What makes a man stay with one woman and not the other.

As I mentioned in the beginning, things are wonderful. This man in your life adores you. He thinks you are the best and why wouldn't he? You are uniquely you. There are things about you that just happened to draw him in, your looks, your personality, how you are with others and how you are with him. All these attributes combined are what make you 'the one for him'. What goes wrong then? What happens over the course of time that changes how he feels about you? I am going to share with you what many men have told me and tips on how to keep a man once you have caught him.

The most common complaint I have heard from different men in regards to their relationships with women is this. "I don't know what happened, she just changed".

1. DON'T CHANGE.

Women who were busy just living life had a tendency to put everything onto the back burner when a man entered their life. Women who were easy going and 'FUN' to be around now morphed into these 'Drill Sargeants' who had incorporated all these rules of 'to dos' and 'don'ts' into a relationship that was carefree and even a haven to these men. Don't change who you were when you met him. I am all for self-improvment and bettering yourself to lead a successful and productive life, however that kind of change is always a good thing.

I am talking about the person you used to be when you first attracted him to you in the beginning. If you were a woman who loved to go jogging each afternoon and have a weekly night out with the girls after work, by all means don't put that aside so you can 'spend quality time with your man'. Imagine six months down the line, are you going to be the same woman he met if you gave up certain parts of yourself just to be with him? The truth is, you won't be the same person he met and fell in love with six months ago. The second highest complaint I heard from my male friends is, "She just let herself go".

2. Don't get TOO COMFORTABLE.

Do you remember when you first started to date him and sometimes it would take you a few extra minutes to straigten your hair or add makeup? Do you remember the time you took to find the perfect outfit to accentuate your legs that he goes 'ga ga' over? Well just because you have him does not mean you should throw on a pair of PJ's and eat popcorn with your feet propped up for another episode of 'Grey's Anatomy'. Ok, but if I can't be comfortable with him, if he can't love me even when I am looking my worst what is the point in being in a relationship with him?

That is a question that may pop into your mind and that is not what I am talking about. It's important as a relationship develops to be comfortable with the person you are with. Just don't forget to dress up for him on occasion. If after a few months or a year all he sees you in are sweat pants and a ponytail when you used to wear skirts and heels before, you will change his perception of you. Men are extremely visual and it does not take that much time or effort to look your best with him as much as possible. The third highest complaint I heard from my male friends is, "She acts like my mother and she is smothering me".

3. Let him be a man, let him be himself.

What does this mean? Don't mother him. Don't treat him as if he is your child. Don't belittle him or talk down to him. Let him be the man you fell in love with and please don't try to change him into something he is not. When you do these things to a man, you are communicating that you do not accept him as he is and that could have been the main reason he fell in love with you in the first place. He at one time believed you accepted him, plain and simple, as he was. If you try to curb his weekend hunting trips or poker night with the guys or whatever interests/hobbies he had long before he met you, he will feel invalidated. If you try to 'make him over' he will feel all kinds of emotions but it will no longer be love. Some men need more space than others. If a man needs more space than you are giving him, he will build up a resentment towards you. One of the greatest threats to love in a relationship is resentment.

So there it is, straight from the 'mouth's of men' a few tips on how to keep a man once you have caught him.

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Do unto others what you will like done unto you. That should be fine. Everyone deserves who they end up with, be it temporarily or permanently.

Lmao.... Na thief?

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valkaka:

There he is. The man you have been waiting to meet and you two have 'fallen in love'. It's grand, it's wonderful, it's just peachy! He adores you and wants to spend every waking moment with you. The 'newness' of this relationship is fresh and exciting. You are thrilled to have finally met the man who could be in your future and he tells you that you are like a dream come true. It always starts off this way, right?

Wouldn't it be just as grand if those emotions and the 'high' of a new relationship were still there say seven years later or how about twelve years later? Male friends have told me many times that it is easier for women because we can just sit there and wait to be chased. They have told me that the right woman can get any man she desires. This is where it gets tricky however. the art of keeping a man is another story. I am going to share with you what I have learned straight from the 'mouth's of men', male friends of mine who have told me in no uncertain terms what makes a woman a 'keeper'. What makes a man stay with one woman and not the other.

As I mentioned in the beginning, things are wonderful. This man in your life adores you. He thinks you are the best and why wouldn't he? You are uniquely you. There are things about you that just happened to draw him in, your looks, your personality, how you are with others and how you are with him. All these attributes combined are what make you 'the one for him'. What goes wrong then? What happens over the course of time that changes how he feels about you? I am going to share with you what many men have told me and tips on how to keep a man once you have caught him.

The most common complaint I have heard from different men in regards to their relationships with women is this. "I don't know what happened, she just changed".

1. DON'T CHANGE.

Women who were busy just living life had a tendency to put everything onto the back burner when a man entered their life. Women who were easy going and 'FUN' to be around now morphed into these 'Drill Sargeants' who had incorporated all these rules of 'to dos' and 'don'ts' into a relationship that was carefree and even a haven to these men. Don't change who you were when you met him. I am all for self-improvment and bettering yourself to lead a successful and productive life, however that kind of change is always a good thing.

I am talking about the person you used to be when you first attracted him to you in the beginning. If you were a woman who loved to go jogging each afternoon and have a weekly night out with the girls after work, by all means don't put that aside so you can 'spend quality time with your man'. Imagine six months down the line, are you going to be the same woman he met if you gave up certain parts of yourself just to be with him? The truth is, you won't be the same person he met and fell in love with six months ago. The second highest complaint I heard from my male friends is, "She just let herself go".

2. Don't get TOO COMFORTABLE.

Do you remember when you first started to date him and sometimes it would take you a few extra minutes to straigten your hair or add makeup? Do you remember the time you took to find the perfect outfit to accentuate your legs that he goes 'ga ga' over? Well just because you have him does not mean you should throw on a pair of PJ's and eat popcorn with your feet propped up for another episode of 'Grey's Anatomy'. Ok, but if I can't be comfortable with him, if he can't love me even when I am looking my worst what is the point in being in a relationship with him?

That is a question that may pop into your mind and that is not what I am talking about. It's important as a relationship develops to be comfortable with the person you are with. Just don't forget to dress up for him on occasion. If after a few months or a year all he sees you in are sweat pants and a ponytail when you used to wear skirts and heels before, you will change his perception of you. Men are extremely visual and it does not take that much time or effort to look your best with him as much as possible. The third highest complaint I heard from my male friends is, "She acts like my mother and she is smothering me".

3. Let him be a man, let him be himself.

What does this mean? Don't mother him. Don't treat him as if he is your child. Don't belittle him or talk down to him. Let him be the man you fell in love with and please don't try to change him into something he is not. When you do these things to a man, you are communicating that you do not accept him as he is and that could have been the main reason he fell in love with you in the first place. He at one time believed you accepted him, plain and simple, as he was. If you try to curb his weekend hunting trips or poker night with the guys or whatever interests/hobbies he had long before he met you, he will feel invalidated. If you try to 'make him over' he will feel all kinds of emotions but it will no longer be love. Some men need more space than others. If a man needs more space than you are giving him, he will build up a resentment towards you. One of the greatest threats to love in a relationship is resentment.

So there it is, straight from the 'mouth's of men' a few tips on how to keep a man once you have caught him.

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Thanks, Val. You are so spot on with these points.

When did man become fish?

...My dear, if a man already have plans to leave...He ll leave..Even if a lady carries hot charcoal on her head just to please him...He ll still leave....

...Like i always say...loving and being loved is a game of luck....Its just like two people trying to make a fire....

....The level of productiveness depends on the level of commitment of both party....As for me, i cant kee myself just to please anyman...I ll be the real me...and He ll love the real me no matter what....

Great ideas. Thumbs up !

Dis early morning na him I go start to read dis lng post.... *shakes head*.... Abeg who go summarise am for me

temigracie: ...My dear, if a man already have plans to leave...He ll leave..Even if a lady carries hot charcoal on her head just to please him...He ll still leave....

...Like i always say...loving and being loved is a game of luck....Its just like two people trying to make a fire....

....The level of productiveness depends on the level of commitment of both party....As for me, i cant kee myself just to please anyman...I ll be the real me...and He ll love the real me no matter what....

in as much as there is no bed of roses for any couples who re in love...nobody is saying d@ yu shud always please ur man so as to keep him..just try and be yaself,nt something else...most women think that they can mold a man to suit their *taste*......so true sacristo.

4.

4. don't lie
5. don't cheat, MOST of us don't forgive, ALL of us never forget.
6. don't keep secrets
7. learn how to make a man feel in control. even if you are the one pulling his strings with wisdom. If you emasculate him, he will find someone who adores him

@op you've raised good point but its incomplete. although all these things is common sense....at least to us.

temigracie: ...My dear, if a man already have plans to leave...He ll leave..Even if a lady carries hot charcoal on her head just to please him...He ll still leave....

...Like i always say...loving and being loved is a game of luck....Its just like two people trying to make a fire....

....The level of productiveness depends on the level of commitment of both party....As for me, i cant kee myself just to please anyman...I ll be the real me...and He ll love the real me no matter what....

temigracie, yeah he ll love the real u. up until:
you change:
1. you start to lie or cheat
2. you try to mother him
3. you stop being the person he knew in the beginning
4. you start to tie wrapper up and down the street.
5. etc

see love is work. if u find someone who loves you, you have to do your part to keep the love going. you can't just be doing all the things mentioned above and expect even a mad man to "love the real you no matter what".

Constant Head would b just fine