igwe 1:

solution nko!!

sistawoman:

Communication

sistawoman:

Communication

igwe 1:

thanks sista, how? what will u be communicating about?

HR.hotness:

can arise as a result of

~ getting married too young before fully set in ur ways and ideas, and not continuing d growth with ur partner

~ not knwng each other that well, so having to deal with the fac that both parties want different things and to go in different directions

~ lack of comunication means u grow apart and begin to seek out differnt things

PollMaster:

Did I marry you?
please leave me alone please.

HR.hotness:

can arise as a result of

~ getting married too young befor fully set in ur ways and ideas, and not continuing d growth with ur partner

~ not knwng each other that well, so having to deal with the fac that both parties want different things and to go in different directions

~ lack of comunication means u grow apart and begin to seek out differnt things

Baby Jinx:

100% Correct.

Just want to add. . . hope is not lost. If the two are really invested in keeping this relationship going, they need to rediscover each other. Set time apart for each other. . . A JUST US TIME, start going on dates or just having dinner alone at home, alone. Dump the kids in the backyard or frontlawn. . . nah, I'm just kidding just makes sure they can't interrupt your US TIME. I can list many things but it boils down to this - REDISCOVERY.

Good Luck.

~Sauron~:

Can this work?? JUST US TIME. . . . . .
What difference does it make WITH the kids or WITHOUT em. . . . . .
I am assuming a man and a wife sleep together in the same room, can't they resolve their issues at night or something??

igwe 1:

At what age is best to settle down for marriage for both male and female?

~Sauron~:

Can this work?? JUST US TIME. . . . . .
What difference does it make WITH the kids or WITHOUT em. . . . . .
I am assuming a man and a wife sleep together in the same room, can't they resolve their issues at night or something??

Baby Jinx:

Like I said both party have to be invested in it. The reason they need an US time set aside, instead of just talking while in bed is MINDSET. In bed, they can be all "Oh I am too tired right now or I'm not ready for this" but with the US (COUPLE) time, you know you are having it. . . you prepare for it, there are no excuses. You sit down and talk. . . no doubt it's going to be awkward in the beginning because. . . well because you are sitting across the table from someone you see everyday and you are supposed to talk to each, not at each other but with time, it gets better.

Of course this will only work if the couple isn't your typical Naija couple who think husband and wife don't have to be friends. Being parents and the occasional lovers is just fine.

Baby Jinx:

Like I said both party have to be invested in it. The reason they need an US time set aside, instead of just talking while in bed is MINDSET. In bed, they can be all "Oh I am too tired right now or I'm not ready for this" but with the US (COUPLE) time, you know you are having it. . . you prepare for it, there are no excuses. You sit down and talk. . . no doubt it's going to be awkward in the beginning because. . . well because you are sitting across the table from someone you see everyday and you are supposed to talk to each, not at each other but with time, it gets better.

Besides, it gives the woman a chance to get into that "Oh my go, what am I going to wear for my date tonight" frenzy. We like that, we may complain but we like it.

Of course this will only work if the couple isn't your typical Naija couple who think husband and wife don't have to be friends. Being parents and the occasional lovers is just fine.

~Sauron~:

Typical Naija couple?? Are you from Togo??

ndumart:

In addition to the brilliant reasons given above, i will say these
You marry a slim woman thinking she will be that way all through but childbirth and other stress she faces makes her add some pounds of flesh. Then u realize, that was not who you married because u still expect her to be that way. Nah, it doesn't work like that.

~Sauron~:

This point would def'ly drive me nutz!!!
When a man buys a BMW car. . . . .It might get old after some years but it won't increase in size.
Me thinks women tend to ignore their health issues after their wedding. . . . Afterall, they are now married. . . .there's no reason to keep fit and sexy like they were when they were still single n searching or fasting n praying for "Mr Right".

ndumart:

@Sauron
I don't think adding weight comes only as a result of neglect. Some women are genetically configured to be fat and no amount of dieting or exercise can have effect on them. At times, fatness comes as a result of rest of mind. Check out a lady who has been praying for a husband for years and after getting married, the joy she feels within her alone is enough to make her blow up.

In another vein, a man who gets a well paying job after years of fruitless search will definitely balloon, unless fatness is not in his genes.
And does anyone believe there is a Mr or Miss Right somewhere. I just feel we are all striving for perfection. Every body has his/her own flaws.

ndumart:

@Sauron
I don't think adding weight comes only as a result of neglect. Some women are genetically configured to be fat and no amount of dieting or exercise can have effect on them. At times, fatness comes as a result of rest of mind. Check out a lady who has been praying for a husband for years and after getting married, the joy she feels within her alone is enough to make her blow up.

In another vein, a man who gets a well paying job after years of fruitless search will definitely balloon, unless fatness is not in his genes.

And does anyone believe there is a Mr or Miss Right somewhere. I just feel we are all striving for perfection. Every body has his/her own flaws.