In this journey of life, no one is perfect.
We all have our flaws and sometimes in the past (future maybe), these flaws could cost us our relationships.

Now, I've seen scenarios where a guy decides to dump or become emotionally and psychologically detached from a lady because of certain traits he noticed in her.
And VICE VERSA.

Then I begin to wonder
"Instead of these stories this bobo is telling me about his babe, why doesn't he just tell her"

I give voice to my thought/wondering and He be like:
"Coliii, you will not understand, I don't want to hurt her feelings, I've been using "style" to let her know, but she just won't gerrit"
I'm sure his partner must have felt that way about him too.

Fast forward to a not so distant future, they break up.

In another not too distant future at all, they hook up, with different partners and the cycle continues, on and on.


Having broken up with their most recent date, he and/or she begins to look inwards for answers as to why they seemingly couldn't keep their partners.

Separately, they begin to point out areas where they've shown the most weakness(es).
One of them boldly decides to chat up his "ex" ex to inquire about those character flaws which might have been a major turn off while they were together, seeing as they're reasonably over each other.

This, he said, is in a bid to become better, to face a truth, which he just might be finding hard to confront, himself.



The long and short of the english(es) above is:
Can you call, watsapp or bbm your ex, to ask him or her to reveal certain character flaws about you for whatever reason(s) there might be?

Is it ever okay to do so?
Why?


Please, only mature, sound and objective contributions are welcome.

Thanks in anticipation of your cooperation.

Lovexme: Apparently, they still keep in touch, and they are still probably in good terms. It shouldn't be a problem if he/she decides to ask the ex for whatever noticeable character flaw he/she must have had or still has while both were still an item.

As a matter of fact, I think it's one good way to better one self as an ex must have been in a better position to appraise one's character.

HisSexcellency: From the content of your write up, i believe you're strongly contemplating on doing so or already did and now not sure if you did the right thing. To my asking an Ex about your flaws is a flaw itself. It's a sign of inadequacy and inferiority complex

keypad1: i did not read the post.

I only read the topic.

But ex should not reapear in our lives again.

I agree with you.

Personally, I don't believe in second chance in that regard.
If I let a person go, it means I must have tried my best to be my best.

Some people call it being wikkid but hey, it is what it is for me.

Others might have their opinion, and I'm open to change.

Dygeasy: I believe and have had reasons to that no relationship ends without a reason. Whether consciously or unconsciously before the break-up, you know something is wrong. If you were the 'quitter', there's no flaw anywhere. You just wished to break up with your partner and if you were the 'quitee', you only need to search within yourself for answers. If you find none, your ex (the 'quitter' in your own case) is the wrongest person to ask. If you were loved, you could have been worked on and with barring extreme cases such as infidelity and the likes.

I'm not sure I'm making much sense.

You deserve two puff puffs and zobo
A discussion with a child hood friend prompted this discussion.

He might have been over her and fine, they're now friends (I wonder how that works anyway).
He hinted asking questions in those lines, albeit, not directly and I'm like:
Dafuq

But then, having pondered on our discussion, I began seeing reasons with him, I wasn't convinced still that it's a good thing to do, all things being equal.
But then

Learning never stops.

andromida: I guess its o.k if you know your ex is not the vindictive type.

MizMyColi:

You deserve two puff puffs and zobo
A discussion with a child hood friend prompted this discussion.

He might have been over her and fine, they're now friends (I wonder how that works anyway).
He hinted asking questions in those lines, albeit, not directly and I'm like:
Dafuq

But then, having pondered on our discussion, I began seeing reasons with him, I wasn't convinced still that it's a good thing to do, all things being equal.
But then

Learning never stops.

Scyllapatron: no human is infallible, and no one knows you more than YOU know yourself. what made Mr. A dump you may be what will make Mr. B die for you, and might be what will make Mr. C take you to the alter. Be original, be yourself.
instead of trying to put the pieces of the ex-puzzle together, trust in the future, leave the pieces on the floor and move the fvck on...

MizMyColi:

It's not a big deal if I'm the one in question.
But I'm not.

I have my reservations on doing such.
I'll state mine in due course.

HisSexcellency:
No kwams then... If you have reservations, that means we're both saying the same thing. Which is that it's a wrong thing to do.

lawrenceunaa: asking an ex ur flaws might give her the wrong impression that u want her back

But play along cos those tips might help u improve ur current r/ship