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Seriously speaking, men do cheat because of emotional dissatisfaction.

Sauron and all guys,

How do us suppose we make sure our husband emotional needs are properly addressed?

I ask my husband if anything is bothering him all the time.
I tell him what a good provider, lover and friend he is.
I let him know how much i love him and appreciate all that he does.
I praise him and reward him when he does something special, or just when he comes home (he,he)
I reassure him all the time that my heart belongs to him and only him.

Are there other things that I can be doing to make sure his emotional needs are taken care of?

Now is the time for the men of nairaland to stand up and let thier voices be heard. . . . . the women are listening.

They want their cake and eat it too.

And they expect things not to change.

sistawoman:

Sauron and all guys,

How do us suppose we make sure our husband emotional needs are properly addressed?

I ask my husband if anything is bothering him all the time.
I tell him what a good provider, lover and friend he is.
I let him know how much i love him and appreciate all that he does.
I praise him and reward him when he does something special, or just when he comes home (he,he)
I reassure him all the time that my heart belongs to him and only him.

Are there other things that I can be doing to make sure his emotional needs are taken care of?

Now is the time for the men of nairaland to stand up and let their voices be heard. . . . . the women are listening.

all the above mentioned will do just fine thanks, sistawoman am still waiting for that kind of woman to come my way and i'll hold to her forever, and i hope your doing all the things you mentioned and your not just pulling our legs eh

sesman:

all the above mentioned will do just fine thanks, sistawoman am still waiting for that kind of woman to come my way and i'll hold to her forever, and i hope your doing all the things you mentioned and your not just pulling our legs eh

Not pulling any legs over here.

I really do love him and care for him and really dont want him to ever stray outside of our home. I want to be first and only in his heart. I want to be all that he needs/wants and more.

I know there are no sure fire ways to make sure your husband does not cheat but i want to be able to look back and say i did ALL that i could and he just strayed because he is a fool.

men will never stop being babies

whatever90:

men will never stop being babies

This is very true.

But in knowing that we have to be careful to treat them like the babies they are but not treat them like babies, does that make sense?

sistawoman:


This is very true.

But in knowing that we have to be careful to treat them like the babies they are but not treat them like babies, does that make sense?

hmmmm u r kinda right,but explain more

i call them grown-up babies,i cal them matured babies,i call them independent babies

Yeah it makes sense. But truth is, all you can do is do is do your best. And thats it. If he strays, then that would be all he is, a fool. You get me? All you can do is your best.

They need the pampering and tending to that you would do a baby but they also need to be respected and treated like men.

They want to feel manly and in charge when their peers are around, but behind closed doors they need babying from their women.

I think men are just as emotionally needy as we are but will never admit it.

How many women can do/are doing all those ones  
Very negligible, Im sure.
Infact, most women drove out their hubbies due to their actions/inaction
What abt a wife who never sees any gud in her man?
What abt wives who makes the house hot for their hubbies?
What abt the ones who hardly/cannot cook?
what of the ones who deny their hubbies sex?
I can go on and on
Sistawoman, talk to your female folks.

sistawoman:

They need the pampering and tending to that you would do a baby but they also need to be respected and treated like men.

They want to feel manly and in charge when their peers are around, but behind closed doors they need babying from their women.

I think men are just as emotionally needy as we are but will never admit it.

dont mind them their pride wont let them

smtimes they say we women love attention,i really laff wen i read stuffs like dat,cos men love attention like hell(as long as its not suffocating),they can die for it,but will never admit it

femmace:

How many women can do/are doing all those ones
Very negligible, I'm sure.
Infact, most women drove out their hubbies due to their actions/inaction
What about a wife who never sees any good in her man?
What about wives who makes the house hot for their hubbies?
What about the ones who hardly/cannot cook?
what of the ones who deny their hubbies sex?
I can go on and on
Sistawoman, talk to your female folks.

Preach!!!!

whatever90:

don't mind them their pride wont let them

smtimes they say we women love attention,i really laff when i read stuffs like that,because men love attention like hell(as long as its not suffocating),they can die for it,but will never admit it

thats their ego talking. . .

the trick is to learn to stroke their egoes, make em feel like the best thing ever and they'll be purring like kittens  

HR.hotness:

thats their ego talking. . .

the trick is to learn to stroke their egoes, make em feel like the best thing ever and they'll be purring like kittens  

exactly,u knw them well

make them know that u know they r incharge,make them feel superior,make them know they are the head,and watch them eat from ur palms

Men are talking about Obama women are busy talking of emotional needs . . . do we need to explain the gender gap any better? 

on topic - pay close attention to the things we get animated talking about and show some interest in it.

Thats right guys. It always works.

DavidDylan:

Men are talking about Obama women are busy talking of emotional needs . . . do we need to explain the gender gap any better?

Obama almost gave me an anxiety attack ystrday and didnt let me sleep. , .  time for more relaxing  topics  

HR.hotness:


Obama almost gave me an anxiety attack ystrday and didnt let me sleep. , .  time for more relaxing  topics  

infact me i died and woke up, just couldnt wait to know who d winner's gonna be



abeg david allow me enjoy myself wt threads like dis ojare

whatever90:

infact me i died and woke up, just couldnt wait to know who d winner's going to be

lol

oh i knw who was going to win i just cldnt wait to see d numbers get to 270. . . i was literally clock watching. . . ooooh but it would be so lush if i can get a chance to stroke his *coughs* ego 

anyways back to topic

emotional satisfaction with men has to do with being their friend and companion. . . . men r like babiesyes but they shdnt be mothered so obviously.

Every man is unique - what works for sistawoman might not work for other married women - but Yes, she has listed most of the basic things that a RESPONSIBLE man will love and appreciate in a wife.

But unfortunately, not all men (and women) are responsible - some will see ur good deeds, take it for a weakness and then start taking you for granted. Some did not experience the full joys of being a single man, start maiking money after they get married and suddenly decide they want to experience what they missed out on while being single despite the fact that they have a loving wife. Others are just simply greedy and dogs.

So be careful not to apply the same formula to every man and marriage. You need to study who ur dealing with well b4 you become a couple.

kokoye:

Every man is unique - what works for sistawoman might not work for other married women - but Yes, she has listed most of the basic things that a RESPONSIBLE man will love and appreciate in a wife.

But unfortunately, not all men (and women) are responsible - some will see ur good deeds, take it for a weakness and then start taking you for granted. Some did not experience the full joys of being a single man, start making money after they get married and suddenly decide they want to experience what they missed out on while being single despite the fact that they have a loving wife. Others are just simply greedy and dogs.

So be careful not to apply the same formula to every man and marriage. You need to study who ur dealing with well before you become a couple.

I so agree with you on this.

don't nag.
it makes men shut u out completely.
men just go into autoshut talk all u want

untainted:

don't nag.
it makes men shut u out completely.
men just go into autoshut talk all u want

Funny thing is i never have to nag. I ask once and forget about it, he just takes care of it.

kokoye:

So be careful not to apply the same formula to every man and marriage. You need to study who ur dealing with well before you become a couple.

Thats why one needs to vet thier partner much better than McCain did Palin.

There can never be any perfect way to keep him from chasing skirts
But when you watch his moves, things he like s what he doesn't, his passion and loves
You might have done a whole lot to win his heart. I will use myself as a 'see-through'
Giving me what i want and being there when it matters most will give me the utmost sense of security about you.
No one wants to leave his/her comfort zone for the world of the unknown.
The thing is, as long as the man understands what it means to be responsible and alive to his duties,
It will be fool hardy of him to leave you. As much as we want it hard, we also desire it easy.

Emperoh:

There can never be any perfect way to keep him from chasing skirts
But when you watch his moves, things he like s what he doesn't, his passion and loves
You might have done a whole lot to win his heart. I will use myself as a 'see-through'
Giving me what i want and being there when it matters most will give me the utmost sense of security about you.
No one wants to leave his/her comfort zone for the world of the unknown.
The thing is, as long as the man understands what it means to be responsible and alive to his duties,
It will be fool hardy of him to leave you. As much as we want it hard, we also desire it easy.

That was the easy part. We like many of the same things, down to our taste in wine. We are both every easy going and loving him was/is effortless.

I think i just want to be sure that i am doing what it takes to take care of his emotional needs.

like i said men r babies,as long as u don't over treat them like d babies they r,then its alright,but u over treating them,over pampering them,makes them misbehave smtimes,and take ur love,cares,loves and everything for granted

believe me,men r good at taking women's love for granted

whatever90:

like i said men r babies,as long as u don't over treat them like d babies they r,then its alright,but u over treating them,over pampering them,makes them misbehave smtimes,and take ur love,cares,loves and everything for granted

believe me,men r good at taking women's love for granted

Do not generalise please.

I am a man, enjoy being over pampered by my wife (I respond in kind) and it will keep us happily married forever.

Advice for you whatever90, don't think (or let ur man think) ur doing him a favour when you pamper him, because then he just might take you for granted.

kokoye:

Do not generalise please.

I am a man, enjoy being over pampered by my wife (I respond in kind) and it will keep us happily married forever.

Advice for you whatever90, don't think (or let ur man think) ur doing him a favour when you pamper him, because then he just might take you for granted.

kokoye ,no matter what u post here ,i will disagree wt u ,men get irritated and takes a womans love for granted when shes gives them d suffocating pampering and cares

that i know for sure,nothing will change it

kokoye:


Advice for you whatever90, don't think (or let ur man think) ur doing him a favour when you pamper him, because then he just might take you for granted.

I agree. I know that I would not want to feel like what he is doing for me is a favour but instead from love.

Therefore what and when I do things for him it is always out of love and from a sinceare place.

men should be pampered,but not overly pampered,else u will be taken for granted,nothing is gonna change my mind on dat

sistawoman:


I agree.  I know that I would not want to feel like what he is doing for me is a favour but instead from love.

Therefore what and when I do things for him it is always out of love and from a sinceare place.

Egwu!!

How many times do we see a thread on NL about a lover looking to come back after dumping him/her? It happens all the time. Most people don't even know what they have until it isn't there anymore.

whatever90:

kokoye ,no matter what u post here ,i will disagree wt u ,men get irritated and takes a womans love for granted when shes gives them d suffocating pampering and cares

that i know for sure,nothing will change it

it really depends on the man.  That is why it is important to properly vet them.

Suffocating my hubby would be the wrong thing to do, but that is for him.  Whereas another man may want to be suffocated.

It is a fine balance that one but maintain so that thier love is not taken for granted but is also felt.  Actions speak so much louder than words and when i hear him say I love you it is followed by actions therefore the words have power behind them.