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Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? - Culture (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by ethereal(f): 11:44am On Jan 07, 2015
Ur sense of humour is amazing.,.lwkmd.d whole idea of a "white/english wedding",a wedding gown dat costs fortunes(dat'l I'll only get to where once!),unecessary fuss abt asoebi,endless canopies,flower arrangements and colours...jeeezzzz!..I had a colleague who had to travel outside of d country to get matching colours of fr her shoes n purse!!!.I'm not advocating fr a bland and colourless wedding,bt I feel it shld be as simple and classy as possible.Wt "real " friends in attendance,nt acquitances who'd eat my rice and still find something to complain abt...bridal shower ko,bridal shower ni..mtchew

1 Like

Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by mencade4: 11:45am On Jan 07, 2015
after d stripping and lesbianism.....the next saturday they will e singing thank you lord...thank you lord all we have to say is thank you lord.

Eye service christianity.

2 Likes

Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by Nobody: 11:48am On Jan 07, 2015
Op it's neither the groom nor the father that sponsors the bridal shower. The bride's friends do.

1 Like

Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by JuicyGee(f): 11:50am On Jan 07, 2015
Lol.. Funny. The op sounded like Chimmanda Adichie

1 Like

Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by EmmGee: 11:56am On Jan 07, 2015
naijasinglegirl sorry you were disappointed.
anyway, wonderful write up!
Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by Nobody: 11:58am On Jan 07, 2015
Shouldnt this post be reported as spam?
Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by ROCKJ1(m): 12:01pm On Jan 07, 2015
debo07:
This space is for sale....#10M....yes #10M cos na FP space.
hahaha! Thief!

1 Like

Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by Nobody: 12:01pm On Jan 07, 2015
Naijasinglegirl:

Last year, my colleague that was about to tie the knot kept pestering one of her 'daddies' for money to host her bridal shower party.
I thought this was the responsibility of the groom-to-be? Or maybe the groom-to-be is not into western culture? Or the bride didn't want to feel left out?
It is not the responsibility of the groom to be, it is the bride's friends who come together and plan the party. Don't make the mistake of asking your fiancé to sponsor your bridal shower party, it is not his responsibility. If he decides to chip in some funds, it is because he is generous. Lol.

1 Like

Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by Aida13: 12:09pm On Jan 07, 2015
Nice piece...I think I'll check out that blog lol

Bridal shower, Halloween, American Thanksgiving...all those Western concepts we force on ourselves and end up looking idio tic not authentic...heehee

Almost as bad as those Black Friday sales cr ap that some Naija online stores try to do but fail and woefully too. It's. Not. Our. Culture. Simples!!

4 Likes

Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by emmysoftyou: 12:10pm On Jan 07, 2015
bebe2:


Hahahaha

I beg leave me o,

Am a quick learner, na so I meet say dem dey
do am for nairaland o
e no funny o..undecided

Una don occupy space for those wey read am na.. :-
















grin grin no mind me.catch d fun..cheesy

1 Like

Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by quesra(f): 12:31pm On Jan 07, 2015
cool cool
Japhet04:
yes and no

you see a lot of brides and bride maids in Nigeria when in that strata suffer from anxiety and short term mental impediment as a result of pressure and this makes them not to think straight grin


but there is also one thing I noticed you did

°°°°°°^°°°^°°°°°°°°°°YOU LIED °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
like this comment if you noticed it too

I reserve further comments sad

Iget you
Like the *cabin biscuits and boiled coke*, really? then why pay for a hotel room?
apart from that, the OPs sense of humour is downright cool
Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by Nickymezor(f): 12:35pm On Jan 07, 2015
Hmmmmmm, i see. It was quite interesting OP.
Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by Nobody: 12:39pm On Jan 07, 2015
taiwolusol:
I just Love this Lady's sense of Humor... Bravo grin grin

*In Don Jazzy's* i dey follow you bumper to bumper grin grin grin grin
.
Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by Nobody: 12:40pm On Jan 07, 2015
taiwolusol:
I just Love this Lady's sense of Humor... Bravo grin grin

*In Don Jazzy's* i dey follow you bumper to bumper grin grin grin grin
hmmm bumper to bumper abi? U want NSG to have a baby bump right? My eyes are on you o....*In Kelly handsome's voice* Point of correction, na fender to bumper.. grin

1 Like

Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by philips70(m): 12:46pm On Jan 07, 2015
Naijasinglegirl:
K

Stay tuned to watch my (E)LS ice bucket challenge!
Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by Adrianpastol(m): 12:48pm On Jan 07, 2015
''What of that cake over there?''
''We are not cutting it! Its for the wedding!!'' I was pissing
her off already.
Huh? What were these yahoo girls telling me? So the cake
was a scam too? It was just a decoration in the room??
You broke Nigerian girls need to chill!
Bridal shower is not by force!
The pain I felt was so painful. Lol
..............................

Lol..... still laughing, now am a huge lover of cakes so I know exactly how you feel.

Wanna visit ur blog, r guys allowed?
meanwhile U can drop by mine. www.git9ja.com
Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by caesaraba(m): 12:53pm On Jan 07, 2015
onihaxy:
Noted

Oga what are you noting? The question she asked?
Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by Nobody: 12:57pm On Jan 07, 2015
You try small but I think it's fiction. Ah ah!!! Not even prawn-crackers?! No jo! We are not that bad jare

1 Like

Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by truehope: 12:57pm On Jan 07, 2015
Naijasinglegirl:
In my course of 'blogwhoring' some entertainment and fashions blogs, the images I see from bridal shower events aroused my curiosity.
Photos of happy ladies holding pink balloons, wearing crowns, blushes, cakes etc.

It seems this western trend has become an important segment in the series of Nigerian pre-wedding events.

Last year, my colleague that was about to tie the knot kept pestering one of her 'daddies' for money to host her bridal shower party.
I thought this was the responsibility of the groom-to-be? Or maybe the groom-to-be is not into western culture? Or the bride didn't want to feel left out?
She made it look like a do or die event.

I had questions to ask but I didn't want to come across as jealous so I had to keep my mouth shut.






A few weeks ago, a friend told me to accompany her to the market to buy items she needed for her bridal shower party. When we got there, I was surprised to see her buying egusi, vegetable leaves, palm oil, goat meat etc. Why would she be buying stuffs like that when this was more of a western thing? I needed to be at the party to see things for myself but alas, I wasn't invited.

The only solution to satisfy this curiosity was to gate crash a random bridal shower since NSG friends/colleagues didn't deem her worthy enough to send an IV.

Finally, I had the opportunity last weekend. I went for a book launch in a hotel and on getting inside, some ladies dressed in skimpy clothes walked past me with balloons to the left wing of the hotel.

I didn't know when I aborted my initial mission and followed them.

''You are here for Esther's bridal shower right?'' one of them asked me.
'
'Yes'' I replied

I couldn't believe my luck.

I was led to one of the mini-suites where I met about 18 other unfamiliar faces including the bride. I had to act cool to avoid suspicion.

The bride-to-be was looking more like a widow than a bride and she wore her crown like it was a crown of thorns.
It was more like she was forced to host the party.

Other females were dressed in bum shorts with the exception of me, the uninvited guest.
I sat at the far end of the king-sized bed looking like an election observer.

The party better be worth it, I prayed silently.

Forty minutes gone and the party was yet to start. I was getting impatient! Were these people awaiting the arrival of Toke Makinwa or what?

Every time I made a decision to leave, the party inviting cake seemed to tell me 'loser, don't you want a bite of me? and then I'd find myself replying ''ok, ten more minutes."

Finally, the MC, one slim girl with the driest sense of humour arrived.

The first thing she said was ''Because your name is Esther and you are bleached does not make you established.''

All the bush girls were laughing hysterically at this 1967 joke except me. (These girls need to read my blog. Lol)

She continued cracking more dry jokes.

The only thing that made me laugh with them was the MC's face. Her hideous makeup was funnier than her jokes.

Afterwards, we were called out one after the other to give a one minute speech about the bride. I was the first and the MC refused to take no for an answer.

''Esther is a good and nice girl, she's getting married and I'm so happy for her'' I blurted out ignorantly.

At least I got her name right, thanks to the girls I followed in.
Afterwards, we were called out for truth&dare game. Me, being the first once again.

I was dared to call my boyfriend on speaker to tell him I miss kissing him.

I just stood in front of all them scrolling my contacts. I saw my daddy's number, I saw my friends boyfriends numbers, I saw my brothers number. I got to letter Z and no boyfriend number.

Then it hit me! I am Naija Single Girl without a boyfriend. I didn't have the strength to explain that to these daughters of Eve so I hurriedly dropped my N1000 fine. Literally, society charged me for being single. *sobs*

After the other girls had played the game, it was time for refreshment.

One of the girls started sharing hot coke and cabin biscuit of all things.

See, I don't know about you reading this but the amount of cabin biscuits I ate while in primary and secondary school are not less than 3781 pieces (yup! I kept count).

''Is this all you have?'' I asked the girl that handed me the biscuits with boiled coke.

''Ehen'' she rudely replied

''What of that cake over there?''

''We are not cutting it! Its for the wedding!!''
I was pissing her off already.

Huh? What were these yahoo girls telling me? So the cake was a scam too? It was just a decoration in the room??

You broke Nigerian girls need to chill!

Bridal shower is not by force!

The pain I felt was so painful. Lol

The hot coke was beginning to burn my throat. Before I could think of a way to 'steal' my N1000 back from the truth & dare container, the sad looking bride-to-be had already pocketed it.

Literally, I was the chief sponsor of the cabin biscuit and these minions won't even give me my change which amounted up to N590.

They were no male strippers like it happens abroad, just some a-cups girls on low cut dancing azonto while we cracked our cabin biscuit.

I regretted not going for the book launch.

Is this what happens in a Nigerian bridal shower or did I miss my way?

http://www.naijasinglegirl.net

very funny!
Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by delishpot: 1:08pm On Jan 07, 2015
Ha ha. If they can do halloween what wont they copy?

1 Like

Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by DAVE5(m): 1:14pm On Jan 07, 2015
Naijasinglegirl:
See, I don't know about you reading this but the amount of cabin biscuits I ate while in primary and secondary school are not less than 3781 pieces (yup! I kept count).


3781 sticks of cabin!!!!! geeeez, u kept count!!!! shocked

*in bovi's voice* this girl must be a benin small witch grin lipsrsealed grin lipsrsealed grin

very nice write up, u actually cranked my day and ribs

1 Like

Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by Nobody: 1:15pm On Jan 07, 2015
egopersonified:
Lol @ boiled coke.

That got me laughing too
Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by DAVE5(m): 1:18pm On Jan 07, 2015
debo07:
This space is for sale....#10M....yes #10M cos na FP space.


is the space negotiable so i go contact my personal banker
Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by DAVE5(m): 1:22pm On Jan 07, 2015
truehope:


very funny!

and you quoted the whole story just so u could type "very funny!"

shei u no sabi say space don dey very expensive on NL, c as u waste all dat space angry angry angry

2 Likes

Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by debo07(m): 1:29pm On Jan 07, 2015
DAVE5:



is the space negotiable so i go contact my personal banker
#9.5M last last.

1 Like

Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by debo07(m): 1:31pm On Jan 07, 2015
ROCKJ1:
hahaha! Thief!
lols...thief ke?..untop my property?
Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by corruptst(m): 1:36pm On Jan 07, 2015
Nice piece of writing. D narratives got me engrossed till d end.

1 Like

Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by blaise01(m): 1:47pm On Jan 07, 2015
very hilarious & entertaining piece and original too.

1 Like

Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by Nobody: 1:56pm On Jan 07, 2015
Vivly:

Is this a joke from your anus or what?
Did I snatch your boyfriend? No?
Then why did you quote me to display your innate stupidity?

Lol.

I'm not one of those people who engage in senseless e-fights.
You are angry at my comment and all you could think to vent was to use those words? Try again dear. You just confirmed my previous thought. You're really silly
Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by Vivly(f): 2:01pm On Jan 07, 2015
preshuzpearl:


Lol.

I'm not one of those people who engage in senseless e-fights.
You are angry at my comment and all you could think to vent was to use those words? Try again dear. You just confirmed my previous thought. You're really silly

LMAO!!
See this dumba$s mofo.
If you know you don't engage in e-fights, you shouldn't have made that post that disgraced your lineage.
Next time, always mind your business and don't go quoting people if you have nothing non-insultive to say.
Now run along! Somewhere a village ediot is missing.
Ugly ghetto wannabe¡
I blame MTN's free 10mb.
Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by Nobody: 2:07pm On Jan 07, 2015
Vivly:

LMAO!!
See this dumba$s mofo.
If you know you don't engage in e-fights, you shouldn't have made that post that disgraced your lineage.
Next time, always mind your business and don't go quoting people if you have nothing non-insultive to say.
Now run along! Somewhere a village ediot is missing.
Ugly ghetto wannabe¡
I blame MTN's free 10mb.

Shame on you. angry
Re: Is This What Happens At Nigerian Bridal Showers? by Vivly(f): 2:08pm On Jan 07, 2015
preshuzpearl:


Shame on you. angry
And on the village witch that belched you from her orifice.

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