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Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them - Culture - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Culture / Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them (15598 Views)

Poll: Do You Think The Title Is Right?

No. I think they sincerely love our culture, irrespective of their personal gain.: 53% (35 votes)
Yes.: 46% (30 votes)
This poll has ended

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Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by Nobody: 5:25pm On Nov 26, 2008
I have seen men fervently defending our "lovely" culture against the influence of westerners. I always wondered where this passion of theirs originated from, then one day I woke up from a disillusioned dream. These guys were fighting the culture because it's the most beautiful in the world but merely because it was all at their own advantage. And I said ohhhh!

Hence I don't even bother to argue with a guy who tries to "help" me to regain my roots because he and I know he is doing it so he can maintain his status.

Therefore I want to invite all the ladies to do the same. If they see say nobody dey mind their yarn they'll get tired besides, who likes to yarn in vain?
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by H2O2: 5:28pm On Nov 26, 2008
where's your proof?
what makes you think you're not yarning in vain?
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by Nobody: 5:31pm On Nov 26, 2008
H2O2:

where's your proof?
what makes you think you're not yarning in vain?

All I know is that if I had a culture who always placed me in the first place and took my will as everybody's I'd also do my best to maintain it. Wouldn't that be logical?
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by ikeyman00(m): 6:48pm On Nov 26, 2008
@ post

u talk absolutely nonesense!
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by bawomolo(m): 7:41pm On Nov 26, 2008
what culture favors women?
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by arramyjay: 7:53pm On Nov 26, 2008
Oh yea i think they like it because favours them.
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by Nobody: 7:54pm On Nov 26, 2008
ikeyman00:

@ post

u talk absolutely nonesense!

prove me wrong. wink
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by savanaha: 7:58pm On Nov 26, 2008
bawomolo:

what culture favors women?

I think the western cultures, specifically the American culture favors women. THey can have as much sex say "promisc. girl" and no one looks down on the. The white men here tend to be so emotional. Black men on the other hand want an angel and then the opportunity to go out and find the devil to lay with.
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by Gabry(f): 5:05am On Nov 27, 2008
Michelin, I think u  are right cause right now I'm actually putting myself in the men's shoes,. Lets  not talk about the African culture just to prove your point right. lets take an example of my culture. Where I come from, the women is the superior towards the men. During my grandmothers time, she goes gambling and she sleeps with other men and she beats her husband up. Now, some of my aunts are still doing as such but those whom are not doing it is still the head of the family. Whatever the mother says, everyone has to respect her decision whether they like it or not.

Recently, one of ,my aunt got married to a white man and there were rules being given to him by my grandmother. He did not really want to accept it and he told my aunt that he would like to change the rules because this is the 21st century.

My grandmother told us that we as females must stand firm to our status and not let the men take over.Its obvious that she wanted to maintain the culture just ofr her own benefit.

So same goes for the African men sha.   smiley

After all, who no want good things in life?

1 Like

Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by bawomolo(m): 5:58am On Nov 27, 2008
savanaha:

I think the western cultures, specifically the American culture favors women. THey can have as much sex say "promisc. girl" and no one looks down on the. The white men here tend to be so emotional. Black men on the other hand want an angel and then the opportunity to go out and find the devil to lay with.

do not believe what you watch on desperate housewives. a promiscuous girl is considered a hoe and not what you want to take home to mama. white chicks may be more sexually liberal but they don't put it in the open.
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by savanaha: 8:23pm On Nov 28, 2008
bawomolo:

do not believe what you watch on desperate housewives. a promiscuous girl is considered a hoe and not what you want to take home to mama. white chicks may be more sexually liberal but they don't put it in the open.

This iis not from desperate crap I don't watch that. This is from College life. White girls can do it but not black girls.
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by Leilah(f): 10:02pm On Dec 03, 2008
Michelin, you're 100% correct. cool
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by GsUp: 10:11pm On Dec 03, 2008
@Poster

Abeg get back in the kitchen jo!
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by chuckdee4(m): 1:17pm On Dec 09, 2008
gabrywyl:

Michelin, I think u are right cause right now I'm actually putting myself in the men's shoes,. Lets not talk about the African culture just to prove your point right. lets take an example of my culture. Where I come from, the women is the superior towards the men. During my grandmothers time, she goes gambling and she sleeps with other men and she beats her husband up. Now, some of my aunts are still doing as such but those whom are not doing it is still the head of the family. Whatever the mother says, everyone has to respect her decision whether they like it or not.

Recently, one of ,my aunt got married to a white man and there were rules being given to him by my grandmother. He did not really want to accept it and he told my aunt that he would like to change the rules because this is the 21st century.

My grandmother told us that we as females must stand firm to our status and not let the men take over.Its obvious that she wanted to maintain the culture just ofr her own benefit.

So same goes for the African men sha. smiley

After all, who no want good things in life?

Most of the examples u put up there are by no means traditional practices, fair enough the average African traditional practise usually favours the male specie.

If u think African ladies have it bad go and see what females go thru in Asia (India) or middle east, where women literarilly have no say in absolutely anything, they might as well just be part of the furniture.
I'm not saying our traditional beliefs are the best in the world but they could be worse, thankfully with right thinking individuals in place and people using more common sense these traditional beliefs will eventually becoe abolished.

Its a known fact that women are usually put down, heck even in the Western world they are certain jobs and positions that women cannot get/attain, isn't that pretty much the same thing as some of the African culture.

In a nutshell, common sense should be the order of the day, our traditional beliefs should be mixed with common sense in order to provide equality

1 Like

Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by AKO1(m): 12:48pm On Dec 10, 2008
Do African women hate their culture?
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by Cosjo(m): 1:07pm On Dec 10, 2008
@ poster

where is your african man ? grin grin
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by adconline(m): 1:15pm On Dec 10, 2008
I don’t really know to tackle this myth. I think " African men" in the context of this discussion are double-edge sword to  most women.  Women ab initio are taught to be fearful of men. eg if you get close to boys you will get pregnant and are all nurtured to believe that a woman whose husband is a good provider is better than a woman who has a  Ph.d  without a husband. Then it becomes a dicey situation given the fact that you would have to revere those men and also  fall in love and live with men most of whom  have already been made to look like monsters.  I think these conflicting definitions have made it much more difficult for most African women in the west to think that African males are out there to dominate. I think this misconception of male/female relationship also runs in western hemisphere, its just that western men have come to understand that mutual relationships are integral parts their culture.

Now to women in the west, there is always a conflict of cross cultural assimilations. For instance, how many westernized African women would let their fiancés  forgo   "African marital rites" traditional wedding, asking your hands in marriage, lavish traditional rites  over a white wedding  ceremony for about 2 hours? How many of African women would agree that their families would sponsor their wedding not the groom? I tend to see a selective application of western values amongst our women when it comes to financial responsibility. I am of the opinion that women should   set forth their careers for themselves, but should also bear the same responsibility as men. I usually see this amongst my friends who are married. They will say our wives run everything in the house so long as we don’t talk about their finances.  

One of the disadvantages of African values is the conformity that to be provided for is OK even when the recipient is in a better position to pursue her goals and become a big giver in life. Its also part of our cultural assimilations to think that a man’s way of demonstrating affection or preparedness for a family is through his pockets.
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by redsun(m): 1:26pm On Dec 10, 2008
Culture shouldn't be subjective but dynamic,it is way of life that is suitable,rational and favorable to all in the society,it flows with time,needs,environments and circumstances,
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by nguage(m): 1:30pm On Dec 10, 2008
Every time I open a thread on nairaland, it's always a new thread bitching about how Nigerian men do this and how Nigerian men do that. How about you stop having Nigerian men altogether? Get yourself a white man or have lesbian orgies, who cares?

My point is, the good Nigerian girls always know where to find the good Nigerian guys, if you're stuck with the bad ones who mistreat you in the name of culture, re-examine yourself. Holla!
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by Seun(m): 1:51pm On Dec 10, 2008
This is a discussion forum. It's a place for people to "bitch" about things. wink
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by gaddafi81(m): 2:08pm On Dec 10, 2008
Seun:

This is a discussion forum. It's a place for people to "bitch" about things. wink
Word!!!
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by debosky(m): 2:27pm On Dec 10, 2008
Yeah right. tongue

What about the confused women? One second they are all 'independent women' - I want to do my thing, don't 'control' me, I can't 'submit' to any man, blah blah blah.

The next minute, a man takes them on a date and doesn't want to pay - what do you hear? 'These yeye men sef! They want to copy oyibo culture. In naija I NEVER paid for a drink in my whole life.' tongue

I'm not sure what this nebulous 'African culture' is, but it means different things to different people. People will always 'defend' their culture - Arabs say don't copy western ways. The French say wearing hijabs is polluting or affecting French values and culture. Americans say Obama bringing a welfare system is polluting their capitalist culture with European nonsense. Nigerians complain makossa music is polluting their own musical heritage, Ghanaians say naija movies are making their people patronize more herbalists. . . . the list is endless.

People will always seek to 'defend' something they identify with - it is an instinctive response above anything else, often not based on some rational measurement of the benefits or demerits of the cultural aspect in question, simply because 'that's the way I've always known it to be'.

That is why WOMEN are often the greatest proponents and practitioners of genital mutilation, despite the fact that it hurts them the most.
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by mekk(m): 2:49pm On Dec 10, 2008
n-guage:

Every time I open a thread on nairaland, it's always a new thread bitching about how Nigerian men do this and how Nigerian men do that. How about you stop having Nigerian men altogether? Get yourself a white man or have lesbian orgies, who cares?

My point is, the good Nigerian girls always know where to find the good Nigerian guys, if you're stuck with the bad ones who mistreat you in the name of culture, re-examine yourself. Holla!



The fact!!!!
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by kokoye(m): 2:59pm On Dec 10, 2008
I'm sure in your heart of hearts (although you might be in denial), you're looking for an African man to marry. Ladies bitch about this every single day but they no dey ever marry the original westerner.

So keep on bitching in your search for the African Man.
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by Nobody: 3:33pm On Dec 10, 2008
debosky:

Yeah right. tongue

What about the confused women? One second they are all 'independent women' - I want to do my thing, don't 'control' me, I can't 'submit' to any man, blah blah blah.

The next minute, a man takes them on a date and doesn't want to pay - what do you hear? 'These yeye men sef! They want to copy oyibo culture. In naija I NEVER paid for a drink in my whole life.' tongue


Don't change the subject. grin

@topic
You're right. Most would like to pretend by comparing our status with "worse" male dominated societies but screaming the word head (of which most have very fishy and dehumanizing definitions of) is always paraded like a beauty queen with her new crown.
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by debosky(m): 3:36pm On Dec 10, 2008
I didn't change the subject Ify tongue

You women defend the so called 'culture' when it suits you as well, so this IS about the topic at hand. tongue

Many comparisons go on with the so called 'liberal' societies where women aren't 'pampered' as well. But women inevitably forget these and focus to the ones that they think is detrimental to them. That is not a male trait, but a human trait in the end.
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by ChinenyeN(m): 3:56pm On Dec 10, 2008
. . . Women always have something to say (no offense meant to anyone).

Well, if you ask me, I think that both sides (males and females) don't really [want to] understand the issue. If we really want to know, and understand if and how African cultures favor men, we'll have to look at the most likely premises for why they were established they way they were. Me though, I honestly don't believe African cultures are the way they are because they favor men. If anything, [I believe] African cultures favor women and children (in grand scheme of things) over men. The reason being that African cultures generally are the way they are becasue they were established according to how life was in the past (which even now, still holds true). Back then, what was necessary in life was that continuation of the human race would be insured. Things are set up the way they are to insure the continuation of the human race. Because women and children are generally thought of as indispensable, they must be kept and reserved a certain way. Men on the other hand were and are disposable. I believe that is the reason why things are set up the way they are. The structure favors women and children. Not men.
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by server34(m): 4:07pm On Dec 10, 2008
Just another poster generalizing an issue from only one perspective! From the situation in which they presently find themselves.
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by Nobody: 4:11pm On Dec 10, 2008
server34:

Just another poster generalizing an issue from only one perspective! From the situation in which they presently find themselves.

cry You wish! tongue

n-guage:

Every time I open a thread on nairaland, it's always a new thread bitching about how Nigerian men do this and how Nigerian men do that. How about you stop having Nigerian men altogether? Get yourself a white man or have lesbian orgies, who cares?

My point is, the good Nigerian girls always know where to find the good Nigerian guys, if you're stuck with the bad ones who mistreat you in the name of culture, re-examine yourself. Holla!

We hear you.

debosky:

Yeah right. tongue

What about the confused women? One second they are all 'independent women' - I want to do my thing, don't 'control' me, I can't 'submit' to any man, blah blah blah.

The next minute, a man takes them on a date and doesn't want to pay - what do you hear? 'These yeye men sef! They want to copy oyibo culture. In naija I NEVER paid for a drink in my whole life.' tongue

I'm not sure what this nebulous 'African culture' is, but it means different things to different people. People will always 'defend' their culture - Arabs say don't copy western ways. The French say wearing hijabs is polluting or affecting French values and culture. Americans say Obama bringing a welfare system is polluting their capitalist culture with European nonsense. Nigerians complain makossa music is polluting their own musical heritage, Ghanaians say naija movies are making their people patronize more herbalists. . . . the list is endless.

People will always seek to 'defend' something they identify with - it is an instinctive response above anything else, often not based on some rational measurement of the benefits or demerits of the cultural aspect in question, simply because 'that's the way I've always known it to be'.

That is why WOMEN are often the greatest proponents and practitioners of genital mutilation, despite the fact that it hurts them the most.

Booooooh. Boooooh! grin

debosky:

I didn't change the subject Ify tongue

You women defend the so called 'culture' when it suits you as well, so this IS about the topic at hand. tongue

Many comparisons go on with the so called 'liberal' societies where women aren't 'pampered' as well. But women inevitably forget these and focus to the ones that they think is detrimental to them. That is not a male trait, but a human trait in the end.



Still boooooh! Booooh! tongue grin
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by Moyo1(m): 4:55pm On Dec 10, 2008
I honestly don't think anyone should question God's word "OKO NI OLORI AYA" You people had better not commit sin in the name of discussion. I don talk my own o.
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by ono(m): 5:13pm On Dec 10, 2008
Maybe Michelin needs be specific here on the African Culture thing. I know that in Ghana, women generally are favoured above men in their homes (and even at that, I still believe they have something to complain about men over there anyways). This is to the extent that children in Ghanaian homes can take on the maiden names of their mum as their surnames or so I think. This culture style is obtainable in some other Arican countries I believe. Today in Liberia, a woman is President of that country. Men aren't complaining, and I guess everyone is happy.

Now, here in Nigeria, the reverse is the case. And it's same in quite a number of African countries. In either case, women generally still complain about men's approach to family issues and life, and men complain about women too.


What I want from Michelin is the type of African culture that she's got some beef with among the two above - from the ''favour'' viewpoint. For me, both men and women win some and lose some in both cases. This should not be another gender war thread!
Re: Men Don't Think African Culture Is The Best. They Like It Because It Favors Them by Seun(m): 6:24pm On Dec 10, 2008
I honestly don't think anyone should question God's word "OKO NI OLORI AYA"
Question: was that statement not written by a man? You're just proving the original poster right!

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