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Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? by outlaws(m): 12:05pm On Dec 23, 2008
cool

I think based on my experience that a guy can block falling inlove. Last year at my work place, there was this lady that worked at the same place. My feelings for her some people may call it falling inlove. But I refused to talk to her for 1yr. just because I didn't want issues. The month I decided to let her know what the issue was, she claimed she was seing some one,2 weeks later, I got fired[sacked]. I avoided her for 1yr. because I didn't want issues, it became too hard that I had two options quit the job[I actually started looking for another job] or let her know what the deal is.So I informed her what the issue is. I don't really know why I was fired. She may have something to do with it. I worked at the place for 2yrs. and got fired two weeks after informing her about what might be going on between me and her.

Now, earlier last month, I went to this neighborhood grocery retail to buy something. I met this worker at the place and asked her to show me where they have a particular item, she did, and withing some minutes, it hit me, I felt like I maybe falling inlove with her, no doubt. I came to the store the following week just to see if I still feel the same way, not suprisingly, I felt the same, the third week I came to the same store just to see her I wasn't really buying anything but I claimed I was buying something just to take a really good look at her and study her, well, it seemed like I was fallen for her. So since I have a lot of Poo going on right now, I can't deal with her. So I blocked her off, I don't go to that store anymore just to avoid seing her.

Each time I look her into the eyes it seems like she knows what I am thinking and that she knows what I know.

So, Mr. or Mrs. poster, guys do it, I don't know about all the guys, I know I have done it twice. Is like when I want to fall in love is not going to happen, when I have a lot of shit going on, it happens. For example right now, I am looking for another job. Tired of the bullshit job I got now. Also I am working toward suing my university and other issues going on too. The lady might think there is something wrong with her. No is the guy not the lady. That's why is a good idea for ladies to make the first move. If you think you are fallen for a guy and you think he is fallen for you, you don't have to wait because he may block you off or you may not even see him again for yrs. or what ever just because he felt like he is not ready.
Re: Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? by duduspace(m): 2:56pm On Dec 23, 2008
Fallin in love is overrated as love could mean a lot of things. The Greek concept of love would make for an interesting study with their eros, phileo, agapao e.t.c definitions of different types of love. Which one exactly are you talking about?

If it is the shaggin type, that is just a basic primal response to stimuli which societal views and upbringing has conditioned us to resist with variable degrees of success in each individual starting from the full scale proverbial "dog" who gets turned on at the sight of any member of the opposite sex to the quintessential religious individual who practically sees it as a necessary evil of some sort within marriage.

As to the other type that shows nurturing, care, romance e.t.c; I guess it has to do with our realization of the fact that we need to replicate such things as we receive from others to them as well if we are to continue receiving such consideration from them in the future. Also it does no harm in helping you achieving your shaggin needs if you get what I mean.

In summary, there is nothing like falling in love IMO it just depends on extent to which yu allow either of your primal responses or your societal conditioned responses dominate your decision making.

To answer the poster's question, Yes you can always catch yourself before you fall in love and in fact you can do more than that, you can actually fall out of love when you so desire to do as the power of decision and choice is in every human (who doesn't have other mental defects) from birth but societal conditioning either reduces it substantially or almost takes it away from you in certain instances.
Re: Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? by cabali(m): 3:52pm On Dec 25, 2008
I wonder why the question. You can stop urself from doing anything except there is a gun pointed at your head; even at that u still can decide to get shot.
Re: Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? by trueluva(f): 2:59am On Dec 26, 2008
I think that you can't catch yourself before you fall in love. Because love happens when you least expect it.
Re: Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? by na2day2(m): 6:03am On Dec 26, 2008
i beg to disagree ma

trueluva:

I think that you can't catch yourself before you fall in love. Because love happens when you least expect it.
Re: Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? by krama(m): 9:30am On Dec 26, 2008
trueluva:

I think that you can't catch yourself before you fall in love. Because love happens when you least expect it.

Oh i also disagree ma! It's up to you to decide whether or not to love someone.
Re: Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? by HOLLASLYD(m): 2:02pm On Dec 26, 2008
When it comes to relationship.it's something that you become emotionally engrosed with.i think before you go into a relationship and get deeply commited in it,you have to be mentally mature.say a boy of 19-25 can easily wizzle out of an uncontrolable relationship that is of an extreme seriousness from my own views cus
1 he got to enjoy for a long time before settling
2 he got to get that money to keep a girl very comfortable.abi topop you wan beg food.
3 he got to be mature enough to know it's a once in a life time decision.
Re: Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? by topup: 5:30pm On Dec 26, 2008
There have been a lot of interesting replies especially from DUDUSPACE**, HOLLASLYD, BLUESPICE and OUTLAWS. Well, I agree with Hollaslyd's point about immaturity, and willingness. Yes, I agree with others that it is possible to decide to back out of love, however, there are several teenagers I know and speak with who are always talking about being madly in love with someone and that they are so involved that they are unable to make rational decision, so I believe though it is typical of youths to back out and love block, I actually believe it's more likely for older people, who have serious consequences to think of, work, life, family & other responsibilities. For example let's say the teenagers have just found out that their parents are going to prevent them from being together, or they found out that one has a disease that would affect their future together or one is to move away, I have heard a lot of teenagers attempt these hard relationships, but heard a lot less adults do the same thing. In the case of the teenagers finding it easier to back out, I would say the majority of cases would prove opposite. I think teenagers have a lesser ability to love block, after all they are still mostly naive about love, and it is through the experiences in life that we begin to become harder and more rational about everything.

I believe you can view when decisions have to be made as maturity, that a mature and rational person can easily withdraw from the sensations of love and make a rational and logical decisons, which benefit them, but jeopardises the relationship or the 'love' between the two people. But I also think you can view it as immaturity, in the sense that the person seems to be unable to attach to anyone significantly, (which contradicts the fact that we are able to make more rational decisions, the older we get), surely if you don't have enough feelings for someone enough to want to compromise any part of your life, you may not have been seriously involved, it seems like selfishness at times even, especially when a decision about where a relationship is going is based solely upon what's the easiest way for you and you only.

I have seen many couples break up because they were going to travel, and they didn't think long distance (LD) relationships work, so instead of trying, they broke it up, I have also seen other couples, who also had the opinion that they didn't work, but because of the love they had were unable to break off the relationship, and worked hard at it. The obvious difference between the two couples is their committment to one another, their ability to distance themselves from their emotions, or love block as I have called it.

I believe older couples have more to lose/risk so of course, they make more rational decisions, I believe older people (not saying they are old, but >20 years) have been conditioned from life's experiences to make rational decisions, to focus on themselves, they may have been taught these lessons the hard way, through heartbreak or failed relationships, but I think the older we get, the easier it is to love block, and then maybe when we reach the age of desperation (where most singles, just want somebody!) then our ability to love block greatly decreases again.

Opinions?
Re: Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? by JJYOU: 5:58pm On Dec 26, 2008
topup:

There have been a lot of interesting replies especially from DUDUSPACE**, HOLLASLYD, BLUESPICE and OUTLAWS. Well, I agree with Hollaslyd's point about immaturity, and willingness. Yes, I agree with others that it is possible to decide to back out of love, however, there are several teenagers I know and speak with who are always talking about being madly in love with someone and that they are so involved that they are unable to make rational decision, so I believe though it is typical of youths to back out and love block, I actually believe it's more likely for older people, who have serious consequences to think of, work, life, family & other responsibilities. For example let's say the teenagers have just found out that their parents are going to prevent them from being together, or they found out that one has a disease that would affect their future together or one is to move away, I have heard a lot of teenagers attempt these hard relationships, but heard a lot less adults do the same thing. In the case of the teenagers finding it easier to back out, I would say the majority of cases would prove opposite. I think teenagers have a lesser ability to love block, after all they are still mostly naive about love, and it is through the experiences in life that we begin to become harder and more rational about everything.

I believe you can view when decisions have to be made as maturity, that a mature and rational person can easily withdraw from the sensations of love and make a rational and logical decisons, which benefit them, but jeopardises the relationship or the 'love' between the two people. But I also think you can view it as immaturity, in the sense that the person seems to be unable to attach to anyone significantly, (which contradicts the fact that we are able to make more rational decisions, the older we get), surely if you don't have enough feelings for someone enough to want to compromise any part of your life, you may not have been seriously involved, it seems like selfishness at times even, especially when a decision about where a relationship is going is based solely upon what's the easiest way for you and you only.

I have seen many couples break up because they were going to travel, and they didn't think long distance (LD) relationships work, so instead of trying, they broke it up, I have also seen other couples, who also had the opinion that they didn't work, but because of the love they had were unable to break off the relationship, and worked hard at it. The obvious difference between the two couples is their committment to one another, their ability to distance themselves from their emotions, or love block as I have called it.

I believe older couples have more to lose/risk so of course, they make more rational decisions, I believe older people (not saying they are old, but >20 years) have been conditioned from life's experiences to make rational decisions, to focus on themselves, they may have been taught these lessons the hard way, through heartbreak or failed relationships, but I think the older we get, the easier it is to love block, and then maybe when we reach the age of desperation (where most singles, just want somebody!) then our ability to love block greatly decreases again.

Opinions?
will come back to this in the new year.
Re: Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? by topup: 6:34pm On Dec 26, 2008
Haha! smiley
Re: Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? by JJYOU: 7:40pm On Dec 26, 2008
topup:

I have also seen other couples, who also had the opinion that they didn't work, but because of the love they had were unable to break off the relationship, and worked hard at it. The obvious difference between the two couples is their committment to one another, their ability to distance themselves from their emotions, or love block as I have called it.

I believe older couples have more to lose/risk so of course, they make more rational decisions,
Opinions?
you are right. i say it again you are mama arugbo. we still find it hard to believe you are as young as you say.

your mind is your personal property.
Re: Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? by HOLLASLYD(m): 9:06am On Dec 27, 2008
Topup,i'm most impressed on your mature reasoning and conclusions.i think you've said it all.i must applaud.your mental age is way too beyond my imaginations at your age.
Re: Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? by skolars(m): 9:48am On Dec 27, 2008
allergic to them
Re: Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? by Ezeamama(m): 4:53pm On Dec 27, 2008
lesson learnt
Re: Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? by JJYOU: 3:52pm On Dec 28, 2008
HOLLASLYD:

Topup,i'm most impressed on your mature reasoning and conclusions.i think you've said it all.i must applaud.your mental age is way too beyond my imaginations at your age.
she is in a league of her own.
Re: Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? by iice(f): 4:25pm On Dec 28, 2008
topup:

There have been a lot of interesting replies especially from DUDUSPACE**, HOLLASLYD, BLUESPICE and OUTLAWS. Well, I agree with Hollaslyd's point about immaturity, and willingness. Yes, I agree with others that it is possible to decide to back out of love, however, there are several teenagers I know and speak with who are always talking about being madly in love with someone and that they are so involved that they are unable to make rational decision, so I believe though it is typical of youths to back out and love block, I actually believe it's more likely for older people, who have serious consequences to think of, work, life, family & other responsibilities. For example let's say the teenagers have just found out that their parents are going to prevent them from being together, or they found out that one has a disease that would affect their future together or one is to move away, I have heard a lot of teenagers attempt these hard relationships, but heard a lot less adults do the same thing. In the case of the teenagers finding it easier to back out, I would say the majority of cases would prove opposite. I think teenagers have a lesser ability to love block, after all they are still mostly naive about love, and it is through the experiences in life that we begin to become harder and more rational about everything.

I believe you can view when decisions have to be made as maturity, that a mature and rational person can easily withdraw from the sensations of love and make a rational and logical decisons, which benefit them, but jeopardises the relationship or the 'love' between the two people. But I also think you can view it as immaturity, in the sense that the person seems to be unable to attach to anyone significantly, (which contradicts the fact that we are able to make more rational decisions, the older we get), surely if you don't have enough feelings for someone enough to want to compromise any part of your life, you may not have been seriously involved, it seems like selfishness at times even, especially when a decision about where a relationship is going is based solely upon what's the easiest way for you and you only.

I have seen many couples break up because they were going to travel, and they didn't think long distance (LD) relationships work, so instead of trying, they broke it up, I have also seen other couples, who also had the opinion that they didn't work, but because of the love they had were unable to break off the relationship, and worked hard at it. The obvious difference between the two couples is their committment to one another, their ability to distance themselves from their emotions, or love block as I have called it.

I believe older couples have more to lose/risk so of course, they make more rational decisions, I believe older people (not saying they are old, but >20 years) have been conditioned from life's experiences to make rational decisions, to focus on themselves, they may have been taught these lessons the hard way, through heartbreak or failed relationships, but I think the older we get, the easier it is to love block, and then maybe when we reach the age of desperation (where most singles, just want somebody!) then our ability to love block greatly decreases again.

Opinions?

Hmmmm yes older couples have more experience with love blocking, but i wouldn't say younger people don't. I depends on the 'thinking' of the person. I am one of those who don't do long distance. But it's more complicated for me than just love. I am too mental about things. People are too in love with the notion of love. Madly in love for one day, one week, one month. If that was madly in love, i hope to never experience it.
Re: Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? by blackweaver(m): 2:43am On Dec 30, 2008
Topup are you a psychiatrist or a literary writer? you tend to use so many words,
my finger is sore from scrolling down - ok just kidding.
personally i agree with the person that said love is a choice, i think there's a great
difference between attraction even infatuation and love and one of the problems in many
relationships is that people are going through one or the other and they mistake it for
love
Re: Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? by TOYOSI20(f): 9:11pm On Dec 30, 2008
@ Topic

I'd certainly hope so, undecided
Re: Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? by C2H5OH(f): 7:39am On Mar 27, 2009
I think if you let your mind rule your emotions instead of the other way around, you won't have to worry about this being a problem. By the time you reach the stage of being "in love" the love will be ginuwine.
Re: Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? by trueluva(f): 6:49pm On May 08, 2009
I don't think you can catch yourself before you fall in love. Love just comes again.
Re: Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? by na2day2(m): 8:06pm On May 08, 2009
trueluva:

I don't think you can catch yourself before you fall in love. Love just comes again.

story! u havent met me thats why
Re: Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? by BabaRamo(m): 4:07am On Jun 24, 2010
All this at age 19 through 20something. No wonder most of these kids are jobless and living with their parents.
Re: Can You Catch Yourself Before You Fall In Love? by Pweety4me(f): 4:16am On Jun 24, 2010
I feel dat way 2 jare undecided but dat's not my only reason i have far more important priorities. smiley

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