DNA test compulsory or complete lack of trust

It maybe lack of trust or not depending on the person points of view

If my children don't look or behave anything like me what do you want me to do.

Lack of trust!!!

Why marry someone you do not trust?

looking at hw married women/baby mama's behave dis dayz....DNA test shud b done.u might do it secretly.
dnt wait till after couple of yrs has passed n someone comes from nowhere n start claiming ur kids/children.
#Say yes to DNA test.

striktlymi:
Lack of trust!!!

Why marry someone you do not trust?

You can lose the trust you once had in someone.

johnbuck81:
looking at hw married women/baby mama's behave dis dayz....DNA test shud b done.u might do it secretly.
dnt wait till after couple of yrs has passed n someone comes from nowhere n start claiming ur kids/children.
#Say yes to DNA test.

totally agree.

if i was a man, i will def go for it.

it gives gives dat full assurance, although some kids look so
much like their dad dat it will be a waste of fund to do a DNA.

That is deep.

bebe2:


totally agree.

if i was a man, i will def go for it.

it gives gives dat full assurance, although some kids look so
much like their dad dat it will be a waste of fund to do a DNA.

sure..if d kid looks like his dad..no need 4 a DNA test.

Eastherbunny:
If my children don't look or behave anything like me what do you want me to do.

Has it ever occurred to you that your child can even look like you wife's sister/brother and behave like his/her brother or sister?

Trust but verify.

My Lady and I dated for 7 years. Were engaged for 1 and have been married for 3 years. In all this time, I have never had any reason to doubt her, amd though we work together and are pretty much always in each other's company, I have never gotten tired or needed "my space". And while she sometimes does things that drive me up the wall, I have never raised my voice at her talk less of get into a fight with her. In all this time we have had only 3 major arguments (infinite disagreements) but have always settled at most by midnight.

I stated all that above because I still do not understand how people cam get married and still not trust their spouse. I do not understand how they can have issues with sharing finances. I can't understand how there can be doubt so strong as to require a DNA test. It just doesn't make sense to me.

Do you realise that your children can be 100% yours amd still look and act absolutely nothing like you? Children's genes are a mix of dominant and recessive genes from both parents, imcluding genes that have been dormant for tens of generations. So if the kids look like your father's uncle's great grand mother thrice removed, how can you say the child "doesn't look like anyone in your family"?

Why marry someone you don't trust.

dna is generally not needed to be verified except if there is doubt about paternity.

My neighbour's last son ain't his. After about 15 or so years being married to his wife and 3 kids that look like clones of the man (big lips and ish), the fourth one came out looking neither like the man or his wife but like their pastor. Both couple are dark skinned just like their first, second and third kid.

This boy is light skinned, stubborn as a goat and everything like the pastor (transferred now). Boy was even nicknamed pastor.

Now this came after about 10 years of marriage. Yes they are still together and i believe this is only because the man is disabled. His family couldn't do anything because she still complimented him in more ways than one.

It takes a second to destroy trust built on years.

so all those saying why marry who you don't trust, please take a chill pill. No one prays for a cheating spouse, but with the issue of randy bosses and colleague at places of work, with most ladies having hot pants for their exes, a DNA test becomes necessary

*Modified*
A friend of mine who got a girl pregnant denied it. As soon as i set eyes on the baby's picture, i told him to go get his baby. My other friends swore the child ain't his just to make him feel good. Even when he wanted to accept, his mum would have none of it (probably because she had him outta wedlock) The girl eventually gave the child to another man who eventually married her. But i know karma has a way of balancing issues.

Any man who refuses to do a DNA test for all is "supposed" children is like a man who is keeping his life savings with a conman all because the conman attends church.

With the rate of immorality and lack of conscience in the land, I will advice every reasonable man to carry out a DNA test latest when the child is 6 months.

This isn't about lack of trust, it only means the man is wise.

Imagine a man thinking he has 4 children only to find out only one is his (the 3rd child). Whereas he got married to the woman because she claimed she was pregnant for him.

Too many real life stories to even start sharing right now.

Use the likes of MKO, Fela, Femi Kuti and so many others as example. If you want to justify it that these ones like women, what of the millions out there who don't but have used their life savings training and catering for another man's child.

A friend's elder brother was disqualified from the US visa lottery after the test proved that one out of his three kids wasn't his. That thought led to the stroke that eventually killed him.


Some men are Deceitful but those same men are learners where some women are.

wbb

not compulsory but advisable.

it's really painful for anyone to weed out another man's farm. it also is for the best interests of the child for him to have an identity of who he is ..

I know some women would be claiming trust issues and whatnot but most times than not a woman can con even demons a man is just learning their names

Total waste of cash except you believe there is need for a DNA test!

LewsTherin:
My Lady and I dated for 7 years. Were engaged for 1 and have been married for 3 years. In all this time, I have never had any reason to doubt her, amd though we work together and are pretty much always in each other's company, I have never gotten tired or needed "my space". And while she sometimes does things that drive me up the wall, I have never raised my voice at her talk less of get into a fight with her. In all this time we have had only 3 major arguments (infinite disagreements) but have always settled at most by midnight.

I stated all that above because I still do not understand how people cam get married and still not trust their spouse. I do not understand how they can have issues with sharing finances. I can't understand how there can be doubt so strong as to require a DNA test. It just doesn't make sense to me.

Do you realise that your children can be 100% yours amd still look and act absolutely nothing like you? Children's genes are a mix of dominant and recessive genes from both parents, imcluding genes that have been dormant for tens of generations. So if the kids look like your father's uncle's great grand mother thrice removed, how can you say the child "doesn't look like anyone in your family"?

ohhhhhh, how I love this post

May God continue to bless your home Sir....

very scary topic

. . .but people do change and the wife you trustrd back in 1997 could end up giving you someone elses child. Sad but true

But for a man to go off and do a DNA test on a child that turns out to be his, could put a blot on that marriage unless the wife doesnt know about it. I will be very offended if my husband carrys out a DNA test on his children.

chaircover:
very scary topic
. . .but people do change and the wife you trustrd back in 1997 could end up giving you someone elses child. Sad but true
But for a man to go off and do a DNA test on a child that turns out to be his, could put a blot on that marriage unless the wife doesnt know about it. I will be very offended if my husband carrys out a DNA test on his children.

Well said CC, but let's take it one step further for the sake of those who don't understand what the implications of doing this could mean to their marriage in terms of trust, if it turns out that all of his 3, 4, 5+ kids from her are 100% his.

~ How does he even start to explain his reasons / why his did it in the first place?

~ Would a simple "sorry, I made a mistake", suffice from him?

~ Should he now watch his back / thread carefully / expect a backlash from his wife?

~ And finally, what happens to the trust in that union or marriage post-DNA?

chaircover:
very scary topic

. . .but people do change and the wife you trustrd back in 1997 could end up giving you someone elses child. Sad but true

But for a man to go off and do a DNA test on a child that turns out to be his, could put a blot on that marriage unless the wife doesnt know about it. I will be very offended if my husband carrys out a DNA test on his children.

It's a hard thing.
For the man to contemplate doing a DNA test,some issues would have been brewing.
In such a case,I would say the man should do the test discreetly and hope the wife doesn't find out.
The knockout that comes from finding out from someone else's report is bad.Like someone mentioned,some men end up with a stroke.

I guess if you have a reason to doubt, then by all means go ahead and do the test. Better to know earlier than later. It pains me when I hear storeis of men only finding out that a teen is not his kid after all those years of thinking that the kid was his biological kid. That news can even kill the man and damage the poor kid for life.

However if you have no reason to do it, ie your wife has given you no reason to distrust her and you are only doing it because all your friends are doing it or from stories heard in the beer parlour, then think very carefully of the implications of your wife finding out if the kids end up being yours. It could damage the marriage.

The way I would look at it is if the man does not trust me, then why will I put all my heart, liver and soul into the marriage and him? and I will start to look after myself & my children cos I dont know what the man has planned for us. Infact I will be the one not trusting him in the end.

Why should the woman be offended about it?
Women carry their child in their womb so they know it is theirs.
t is even for the woman to suggest it if the man is suspecting her.
I would be angry if my husband did it behind my back, that could dent things.
I would prefer he confronts me with it and we get the test done. That is the right way to do it. I would not feel bad because a man cannot control this nagging feeling of doubt. It is human.
Every woman should have had such a converaation with her man about DNA and her stand to it.

striktlymi:
Lack of trust!!!

Why marry someone you do not trust?

Bkx u r getting very old and tired of searching for the Mrs right.

LewsTherin:
My Lady and I dated for 7 years. Were engaged for 1 and have been married for 3 years. In all this time, I have never had any reason to doubt her, amd though we work together and are pretty much always in each other's company, I have never gotten tired or needed "my space". And while she sometimes does things that drive me up the wall, I have never raised my voice at her talk less of get into a fight with her. In all this time we have had only 3 major arguments (infinite disagreements) but have always settled at most by midnight.

I stated all that above because I still do not understand how people cam get married and still not trust their spouse. I do not understand how they can have issues with sharing finances. I can't understand how there can be doubt so strong as to require a DNA test. It just doesn't make sense to me.

Do you realise that your children can be 100% yours amd still look and act absolutely nothing like you? Children's genes are a mix of dominant and recessive genes from both parents, imcluding genes that have been dormant for tens of generations. So if the kids look like your father's uncle's great grand mother thrice removed, how can you say the child "doesn't look like anyone in your family"?

They are so dumb to require for DNA bkx u haven't seen what they av seen ok. Just keep enjoying your faithful wife and leave ppl with their choice. Things ar happening that requires proves to backup trust.

Nitefury:
My neighbour's last son ain't his. After about 15 or so years being married to his wife and 3 kids that look like clones of the man (big lips and ish), the fourth one came out looking neither like the man or his wife but like their pastor. Both couple are dark skinned just like their first, second and third kid.

This boy is light skinned, stubborn as a goat and everything like the pastor (transferred now). Boy was even nicknamed pastor.

Now this came after about 10 years of marriage. Yes they are still together and i believe this is only because the man is disabled. His family couldn't do anything because she still complimented him in more ways than one.

It takes a second to destroy trust built on years.

so all those saying why marry who you don't trust, please take a chill pill. No one prays for a cheating spouse, but with the issue of randy bosses and colleague at places of work, with most ladies having hot pants for their exes, a DNA test becomes necessary

*Modified*
A friend of mine who got a girl pregnant denied it. As soon as i set eyes on the baby's picture, i told him to go get his baby. My other friends swore the child ain't his just to make him feel good. Even when he wanted to accept, his mum would have none of it (probably because she had him outta wedlock) The girl eventually gave the child to another man who eventually married her. But i know karma has a way of balancing issues.

Karma! I love that name so much. I even have a song on that.

CashdownNG:
not compulsory but advisable.

it's really painful for anyone to weed out another man's farm. it also is for the best interests of the child for him to have an identity of who he is ..

I know some women would be claiming trust issues and whatnot but most times than not a woman can con even demons a man is just learning their names

My pain here is not training another man's child, I can do that to many. but the pain is your wife having the mind to sleep around and even have the mind to keep a pregnant that is not yours. Devil incarnates. #contractmarriege is smelling around me.

No right thinking man will openly confront his wife with a DNA test to be carried out on their child(ren). Except the woman has proven to be promiscuous in the past.

That's why fathers should form a strong bond with their children, whereby a man will claim to want to have a father/child moment alone in an eatery or wherever but can successfully take that child to carry out a test without his wife or anyone suspecting.


Only after any man have confirmed the supposed children his wife gave him are actually his before he should wholeheartedly include the children in his will. Except of course he just wants to do charity.

Traditional Rulers, Entertainers, Business Tycoons, and Politicians are usually the ones that end up with the most "bas*tards" because every woman will do anything to ensure her children are well taken care of.

Only a handful of poor men get to be given children that aren't there's.

If need be, i will share my personal experience concerning this issue so that people can learn from it.

Yes, go ahead

Etetejake:


Bkx u r getting very old and tired of searching for the Mrs right.

Not a good reason to marry someone.