man u must learn to b patient, especially wit women. i think u should accept that u were wrong. apologize, tell her u reacted so foolishly cos u luv her 2 much and cant bare d thought of losing her. tell her 2 name her price, n u will beat your path 2 d ends of d earth 2 make it up 2 her. and pls send her a gift she will appreciate before u begin, dat will prepare d way 4 u. fight 4 whats yours man.

lol@ adam brody turning this into a big movie production, lol ur something else man

@poster

I just re read your posts well and i found out that she has just entered NYSC camp!

Omo forget everything i write before! Your chick don go!

Corper chicks no be better people to rely on o! 3 weeks alone without your babe and all the kor- ro's and corners for camp? I de really feel sorry and bad for you now! O ma she! Na bon fire night e go finally happen!

If you don serve before, then you should know how boys de do those corper girls. Chei I de cry for you as i de here so!

Go find anoda babe fast, tori don finish!

Kai corpa shaun!

A lot of the women are defending chatupkay's chic . . . when in essence the girl is simply looking for an excuse to dump him.

Chatup . . . u're too old to stalk, call her up and ask her straight if she wants out. If she is hesitant then break it off and move on.

what are you apologising for? You just swing the balance of power back into her column.

A lot of people are eating this guy raw, some are telling him to grow up, etc etc, well, I cant judge, but knowing human nature,
A lot of us would have done exactly the same thing if we were in his shoes, both male and female. The potential is in everyone, you just
need the right "push". @Poster, the only thing you can do is call your girl, and talk to her. Apologize if need be. Dont beat urself up for
checking her call logs. You are human, unlike most people would want to admit. Talk to her, tell her your fears, be open, confess your insecurities to her.
If she loves you and is truly your bone of your bone, she won't take advantage of you or rub it in your face or hate you, rather it will go a long
way to cement what you have.
And please don't check her call logs again, you will give yourself heart attack.
Peace.

One last thing,  if she wants out of the relationship, there's nothing you can do, and it would be better to let her go now than suffer in the long term.

Like someone has said. Call her up and ask her what she wants. . if not. . call the whole thing off! She's playing immature games

"you intruded her privacy"? She still has "privacy" after 2 years?
How on earth culd you check her call details and then tell her? Were you thinking?
In my opinion, you gave her something to use against you by telling her so you have to apologise to her and bring the issue up some other day if you still want to know!

@olanajim,

what do u think about this


@ To all My People out there!

I appreciate you all,  tanx sooooooooooooo much!!!!!!!
Some have supported my actions, some disagreed with it, while some try to mediate;
tanx so much.

Well, Im really working to fix the mess bt im not keen about it, if it fails then i doesn't worth the whole stress!
bt if it works, fine.

@chatupkay
This world must be coming to an end because I agree with Adam and with david.
This is how it all starts, if you are important she would have even gotten a friends phone to at least flash you, you were wrong and right to have checked her call log, the fact alone that you know for sure that she did have credit shows that maybe something fishy was going on.
My take on this is simple, has she called you to apologise that she lied to you? I guess not, but you be a big boy call her tell her you are sorry for checking her log but you need her to be straight with you because you cannot trust her if she lies over petty stuff like that. If she fidgets, tell her you guys need a break and you go on to your corner and lick your wounded paws.
In the end sha you know her better and you know yourself better, if you give in and beg her you loose power.

Lol @ stalking kit,NL no go kill me!!!

update please

this is just the beginning

@ sisterwoman

we have tried to settle our differences. I asked her, if she still believe in the realationship and she said "YES"
but im still not comfortable with her, although i pretend to be ok but the truth is i'm not because she still calls the new guy
im not comfortable with that.


i await your reply

BROKEN HEARTED

I looked into her eyes gently.
I saw her love burning inside.
Her love for me was growing.
As we both stood there and cried.
I’m leaving in the morning.
When I return, I do not know.
I only hope that while I’m gone.
Your love for me will grow.
I returned a while later.
Her love did not stay true.
I found her with another man.
A friend that I once knew.

She'll be back! Believe me, I was at the Ipaja camp for 3 weeks. I fell in love or "lust" with this guy at the same time there was a guy at home, not my boyfriend. But he hangs around me enough to be considered my boy friend. The few weeks after camp, was sweet we kept in touch, did the whole night calls thing.
But you know what? The realities of the real world hit us, and we figured out that it wasnt goin to work out.
The novelty wears off believe me. Let her have her fun. As long as no sex is involved. Anyway thats how I see it,

I dislike dis 4 naija ladies, Are u sure u only have one buddy

aus123:

I dislike this 4 naija ladies, Are u sure u only have one buddy

Hah. So if a girl hasnt said yes to one guy she isnt allowed to explore? Puhleez!

It's better to explore when single than to regret after I do.

Don't know how this might sound to you poster
but they say a girl is 'yours' when she's in your sight and immediate reach and 'ours' when she's out of your sight and immediate reach.
She should have called you, no matter how much fun she had on the first day, she should have called or sent a text no matter the time.Since she didnt call you who did she call because i wont believe she didnt call any other person that day.
You checking up on her calls is what most men would do in such situation, i don't blame you at all
For her to stay up in the middle of the night to chat with a new guy and not call her own guy oboy shyn ya eye
If she feels the relationship aint worth keeping mehn let her be oh, don't be too committed jare.
New guy or no new guy if she can't keep herself,mind,body and soul for you then guy find fun somewhere else.
If she's disturbed by you not calling and acting like before and wants to talk about it FYN! but
if she can stay for days without calling you, you too should be able to stay for days without calling her
SHIKENA

What of if she is just putting you to test. Be little flexible.

I hate the term "said yes to one guy". Like friggin what?

This is where i stand,

@ Poster, i must say that you were right by checking her call log given the fact that you work in that communication company, BUT you ABUSED that right by telling he[/b]r, For Christ sake,, [b]every single person (male/female) would have done the same thing if you were in his shoes and works in the same telecom company - you will want to monitor your boyfriend or girlfriend calls, its more of your account officer in a bank calling you to tell you that someone had paid in a check into your account, since u are talking about marrying her,you have to be sure about everything, but you shouldN'T have told her,


But now,it has happened, what you need to do is to apologize, be more creative, open up general discussion, don't talk much about her NYSC CAMPING issues, talk more about the environment,parents,updates in home since she left, the problems you face at works and stuffs like that, then you gently chip in the "new boyfriend" issue, mind you, u must be sensible and creative, and don't say it as though you proved her to be cheating on you, they might just be casual friends,

its my opinion, any body can fault me,  The fact is that, if the girl really loves him  and she knew that she will miss her boyfriend for almost a year, on getting to the camp, she would have called him, comon, there are business centers everywhere,#20 for 1 mins is not too bad for LOVE

Cheers and Good luck

@ Olanajim
Tanx so much!

av bin trying to easy the tension between us and she seems to b responding,
but i figure out that she still calls dat guy, inspite of the facts that she says she still believe in the relationship

though, i dnt want to bring it up now, but it's irritating,

i think she is only hanging on pending when the deal wit the new guy will b done.

some women are cunny. na wah oooo,




@Sisterwoman

i await your reply on this too

This is a matter of the heart, we shd thread with caution.

This too shall pass.

Let her get over this infactuation with him. If she really loves you it wont last long. If she really loves you she will not carry it so far as to sleep with him. It will all be talk and will be gone before you know it.

Stop right now checking her calls. The tension will remain as long as you KNOW that she is still talking to him.

So what have you done besides talk to her?

Have you gone to see her?

Have you sent her something, a gift?

What do you talk about?

Are the conversations about her life at camp or what yall had before she left?

Are you interersted in what she does there and what is going on with her?

@Sisterwoman

This too shall pass.

Let her get over this infactuation with him.  If she really loves you it wont last long.  If she really loves you she will not carry it so far as to sleep with him.  It will all be talk and will be gone before you know it.

Stop right now checking her calls.  The tension will remain as long as you KNOW that she is still talking to him.

So what have you done besides talk to her?

Have you gone to see her?

Have you sent her something, a gift?

What do you talk about?

Are the conversations about her life at camp or what yall had before she left?

Are you interersted in what she does there and what is going on with her?

@Sisterwoman,

Av seen her & we av resolved our differences

I know she likes chocolate, i'll send her some this weekend

I av tried as possible to avoid the NYSC topic, even though i really want to know everything that went down there.
bt, i pretended to nt b interested.

Itried to concentrate on the moment we shared together & i told her how much i luv too

on checking her calls, i will tryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy  bt i will still check it once in while
becos i dont want to waste my time on anybody that will not appreciate it at the end.

also, to know if everything is working as planned. u know now.

Anyway, tnx so much !!!!

Sisterwoman

tanx olanajim
tanx to everyone that has contributed.

I awaits  ur response.

I think you should talk to her about her everyday experiences that happen at camp.

You need to be interested in what she is doing there. What her and the other guy have in common is camp. Make that something that you and she have in common.

Visit as often as you can but not too much, you must walk a gentle line.

I know it is hard not to check because I think i would do the same in your shoes, but trust me if you devolop an att. that what is done in the dark will come to light and that all things are reviled in due time you will be much happier and your relationship will grow.

I learned this lesson the hard way. I used to spy on my exbf and was always anxious about him cheating and reading so much shit into little things. When I decided that there was nothing I could do to stop him from cheating if he wanted to our relationship went to a whole new level. He finally felt like I trusted him and rewarded that trust by never cheating on me. I was far more relaxed and the tension was gone.

Trust her, you HAVE to trust her or let her go. You can not stop her from cheating if that is what she will do. Trust that God will reveil it to you and you will see it with your naked eye.

@sister

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaao!!!

u have a wonderful & understanding heart, i envy your boyfriend oooooo
i hope he realises how precious u are!!!!

Anyway, tanx
i will find out wat actually happened at the camp bt not now, i want to ease off the tension completely before i start
my "investigation" 

And trust aspect will have to come, after the resolving this issue completely.
In my own opinion, i want to be sure that it's working according to plan b4 i close my eye to trust her again.

u know now, it's nt easy.

so that i can finally say this toooooo " She finally felt like I trusted her and rewarded that trust by never cheating on me "

tanx once again

and i will keep u posted of updates

can i have ur email add?


@olanajim

how far?
i will to hear from you tooo.

tanx guys.

@chatup,
I am very glad you are employing diplomatic means. I am especially happy that you have choosen to talk to her. But it is just the beginning. A new beginning. And if you play your card right, she would be the one fighting to keep you.

My favorite lesson about love was learned from a courtesan. Ninon de lenclos. She was the most infamous courtesan of 17th century.

She said: Have you ever heard of a skillful general, who intends to surprise a citadel, announcing his plam to his enemy? Conceal your purpose and hid your progress; do not disclose the extent of your designs until they cannot be opposed, until the combat is over. Win the victory before you declare the war. In a word, imitate those warlike people whose designs are not know except by the ravaged country through which they have passed."

chatupkay, you do not need to worry about one woman. But you can keep that woman for good if you could just do what is right. Like you are told before, talk to her. Show your love in deed but in your mind LEARN NOT TO COUNT TOO MUCH ON HER. Until you win the battle. Women love their man to be there. They love a caring man. But there is more to them. They hate a weakling. If you show them you are weak, they may just manage for for a while and then dump you when they found a "better man". If you show you are tough, and mean, you may just be seen as an oppresor in waiting! So you can see why women may love you and still dump you?

Way to go. Win her trust. Do everything you can to win her trust. But don't do foolish things. Don't be too possessive. Free yourself of the thought that you can't live without her. Yet should her at every opportunity that you care. There is no contradiction here. Everything is to safeguard your emotion.

Like somebody said above: NEVER APOLOGIZE TO HER WHEN SHE WAS THE WRONG PARTY!

Now what next? More later. I hope we find goodnews in Babylon!