very soon...our men will start campaigning against payment of bride price. after all, na the two go form different family.

elantraceey:
I think he should use what he has to pay the bride price and then she can cover the rest expenses.

Most times the bride price is just a little amount rather it is the rest expenses that take 99% of the total money paid for a girl's hand in marriage

Firstly She should have a chat with her parents with a view of reducing the list if its exorbitant

She can help towards paying for other wedding expenes, but the man should pay for the brideprice and whatever is on the list that they have given him.

. . it is also not a crime to not have a posh wedding. People should cut their coat according to their ankara. Whats the point of a posh wedding if you are going to start the marriage with serious financial problems? That alone can cause a lot of unecessary friction.

the man should pay the bride price and try to get the things on the list. If he can't, he should forgo the issue of the white or church wedding till he can afford it.


NB: Wedding is not marriage

@OP:

NO!

The husband & family should source for that after re-negotiation of the items.

Wife & family can foot bulk of the wedding expenses

Make una dey argue here. Una mates don marry finish

Its a no-no for me. If he can't afford it now, he could pay it bid by bid after negotiations with the brides family.

No matter how matured they may think they are, misunderstandings that might warrant them to use it against each other could arise according to@mutter.

Let's just leave this culture the way we met it.

No

I would strongly advise that man to wait till he can afford the bride price. Allowing for her input is a major recipe for disaster, better to be safe than sorry

BreezyRita:
I'm not sure where to post this. Mods help me out please

She's about to be married. The marriage requirements or 'lists' have been given to the husband to-be. Of course, he must have prepared for this. But the list is somewhat exorbitant and paying all these things will mean a less posh wedding........

My question: Should a woman who's financially stable assist her to-be with money for payment of the bride price or completion of the rites??

Is it advisable??

Welll from my POV... I think it wont be bride Price Any more.

#PresentationOfGifts .

mutter:
A good idea however the problem is it could lead to insult.

Woman - you are not even a man I am the one that married you.

Man- you were so desperate you even paid me to marry you.

Ur comment got me laughing seriously

D actual bride price should b paid by d man
The woman can assist in other areas
because one a woman (some) gets angry she spill out bombs capable of destroying world trade centre not to mention marriage

on a serious not wots d need having a posh wedding an incurring lots of debt then after wedding u start ur honeymoon wit worries

Dats notin here in india ladies paid d bride price

this na serious matter

but it depends on the couple concerned.

if the couple are still operating out of 1900's

then its unheard of for the bride to contribute anything to her bride price

but if the couples belong to the up and coming computer age,

who cares who pays the bride price, so long the both collectively decided on it.

and for your information, many brides and their family make make contributions

either in cash or kind towards the trad wedding

for those who think re-negotiation might solve the problem, think again,

the usual answer, is the list was not prepared with you in mind,

besides the list belongs to the entire community, not just the bride family

my humble advise to all would be groom, try and foot your marriage bill if you can,

if you cannt accept help from your wife, after all the 2 becomes one.

It's not normal for a woman to help a man by payin her bride price, he can help him 4 another thing I

menix:
My Imo ladies will b lik "BIG NO!!!"

Seriously I don't pray 4 such 4 any man buh if there is Luv nd understanding, I see no gobe buh if I find miisef In such then its more respect 4 dat lady..

Otylee:
It's not normal for a woman to help a man by payin her bride price, he can help him 4 another thing I

If dat is so then dey shuld fasten their sit belt nd sit @ home pending wen d rich 1 comes around..

Broz we nid to get rid of diz traditional mentality, I ve a fwend wo jst married in UK last month nd he is a student. Wo do u think had 2 foot d bill..

Her Choice..
If she is desperate, this isn't even a question.
And you can't condemn because you aren't in her shoes.

if you don dey old and d man never get money to pay.

you re only helping yourself

BreezyRita:
I'm not sure where to post this. Mods help me out please

She's about to be married. The marriage requirements or 'lists' have been given to the husband to-be. Of course, he must have prepared for this. But the list is somewhat exorbitant and paying all these things will mean a less posh wedding........

My question: Should a woman who's financially stable assist her to-be with money for payment of the bride price or completion of the rites??

Is it advisable??

The woman must be from Imo state.

mutter:
A good idea however the problem is it could lead to insult.

Woman - you are not even a man I am the one that married you.

Man- you were so desperate you even paid me to marry you.

Man - I married you with my own money so don't tell me what to do.

OR

Brother- Don't take out your frustration on my wife! It's not our fault you're still single @ 43..

Nothing is perfect.

please Don't make this TRIBAL

My godmother actually helped to do this for her fiancé, because he did not have enough money to afford their traditional marriage ceremony and wedding in catholic church.

Yes.
If she is in a HURRY to get married.
Creative solutions needed for serious challenges.
QED!!!

YES she can help out...

else she`ll continue to enjoy spinster life...

If she's desperate. Why not, if not?

Ye! on the condition that it will never be mentioned anywhere or even during quarrels.

I can if I need marriage desperately.

Kachisbarbie:
hmmm.
I think it's a wont here in Nigeria that the man shoulders responsibilities like that because it's believed to increase the value of the woman in his sight.

But, come to think of it
*If a man can't pay the bride price alone, where does he plan getting money for the wedding proper?i.e considering the fact that, that expense is "basically" on him too.
_ he should pay the bride price (borrow from his friends nd family) and the lady can come in later, during the trad/white wedding.


To the woman:
_Are you doing it out of desperation?
_Or are you genuinely trying to help? If this is the case, nothing wrong...the adage that if one hand is weak the other helps to pull up comes into play.

If the bride price is outrageous and she has to support, it's ideal she develops amnesia, immediately after helping him out - never bring it up...no matter the situation...lols

If they are both mature....
If they both understand they are doing it for them...not "one person"....
If he is visionary and she knows it's just a temporary set back....

It shouldn't be a problem.

Haba.. All these epistle on top small question.. Cheii..

Borrow to pay bride price..
Diaris godu o..

okotv:
the man should pay the bride price and try to get the things on the list. If he can't, he should forgo the issue of the white or church wedding till he can afford it.


NB: Wedding is not marriage

how long will he continue to wait...
assume he earns 30k every month

I will never allow that.... but my wife responsible for all our expenses for our introduction cos nothing on me then








bride price must be paid by the groom. while dowry is paid by the bride in india and China