Hunwa:
@Sashafm
Just had to say something to you after reading your post. Please don't make the mistake of ever under-estimating anyone. I was in your shoes some years back and I also thought the guy in question wasn't focused enough and had no concrete ambition, I actually left him because of that, as I felt we were not moving at the same pace. But today, he is miles ahead of me in terms of academic qualifications and is now a professional in his chosen field and even got a job outside the country. My point is, a man not been vocal about his long and short term goals doesn't mean he doesn't want to amount to someone great in life, he might just still be processing the plans in his mind. Don't give up on him based on that alone as you might end up regretting it.

Thanks for this
Many men don't go blabbing about their plans ,what they are doing or intend to do step by step
We bought a piece of land in the village and dug the foundation,fenced it with a gate
Next time I saw the picture the house was about to be roofed,the next time I heard about the house it was totally done with all the amenities I had in the USA
This took some years in between btw and when I didn't think anything was going on work was going on,I just never heard about it
That is how men operate

After 23 pages we enter FP?
Hehehehehe

Sunshinny:
My marriage is 1 year and 4 months old. We didn't kiss or sleep together before we got marriage. I remember I told him I wanted to his private part so as to be sure he is a man.

When our wedding got closer, I began to have sexual feelings for him to the point that I will become wet when we sit close. He wasn't left out too. I became happy because I rarely have feelings for guys.

When we got married, I found out he doesn't know how to kiss or even make love. [he was a virgin]
I kept on managing. What's annoying me the most is that sometimes he just wants to do and go, no pre-intimacy. When I became 5 months pregnant, we couldn't have sex again, he didn't know how to come in. A friend of mine explained to me how we can do it and I explained to him, yet no show. Instead, he would be complaining that my tummy is disturbing him and promised that when I give birth he will show me pepper.

Out of annoyance, I told him I will never advice my sisters to marry a Virgin.

Now, I have given birth, it's still the same. I have never got to orgasm since we got married. The other day, I told him I will not allow him to touch me again until he learns how to fondles the womanliness. I said so because he injured me there. You know how soft that thing is.

Any time I'm complaining, his reply will be it's my fault not his. I'm beginning to think maybe I don't love after all. In fact in short our sex life is zero. I really don't know what to do again..

@babyosisi
EfemenaXY

Please read Frank317's the perfect couple story in the sexuality section

moca:

She is already married abi trado no count as marriage?
And most times,its gals that's supposed to be educated and intelligent that fall into this shyte.

I met lots of them. They always want to go down with u fast fast.
Wooing u with assorted foreign gifts and money(we call that love).
Carry u at d front seat of their spots and flashy car always.
Whatever u demand for,he is at ur service.
Love nwantinti.
Infact,I know uncountable number of gals in her shoe.
I wish her luck joor.
It is well.

[size=18pt]
For the girls planning to marry Americana,to make sure this is not a man still married or waiting for papers ,that will keep you in Nigeria for years while you carry belle at his visits and born pikin in your father's house,ask him to do a fiancée visa for you[/size]
[size=18pt]If he is unable to file a fiancée please run far away[/size]

But do the owners of the real life issues on this thread really want their personal details on FP? I don't think so

babyosisi:
After 23 pages we enter FP?
Hehehehehe

when I saw it on FP I quickly came to check whether you have rendered your normal rigoro n'oche song

chisom101:
Pls Anty babyosisi,I saw this massage in my husband phone last week my eyes have seen my ear,been crying since then .see the message below.

(My dalin how are u,start comin I miss ur hot dick can't wait to suck ur lovely dick ,this time I will cum inside ur mouth , ur tongue can do a lot of wonders, I want u to suck my pussy like never before. then I will Bleep u till u cum.am wet pls start comin)

Forward the message to your phone as evidence.
Don't say anything yet and just check periodically and save more evidence and play cool,it is hard but try as much as you can.
You need an airtight ammunition,before they accuse you of being crazy and paranoid
When you have gathered at least three or four,I will tell you what to do at that point
Meanwhile protect yourself from HIV

How long have you been married?
Any kids?

Herzumpther:
Ahhhhh.....

Nne! Its a fearing thing!


I'm patiently reading through! God bless Y'all.

Kimoni:
But do the owners of the real life issues on this thread really want their personal details on FP? I don't think so

I agree with you

I Don't think FP is okay for this

RoyalRoy, Please assist.

Front page?? Mods please hide my every post as I don't want my story viewed by the whole world. Please.

tchidi:


Nne! Its a fearing thing!


I'm patiently reading through! God bless Y'all.

My sister after reading her Post I became scared of even getting married or pushing my own ish forward.

See that of Sunshinny That got me thinking really bad, I can't even have dinner.

There r threads that shouldn't make front page from family section.
This is one of them.
Some issues here r very sensitive.
Even though it's public forum,some will feel at home if it remain in homepage.

Lalasticlala,seun, whoever,abeg bring this down.

He drinks and snor,I dt really know to handle dat.Any advice on dat

Oh Lord and I was quoted, I can't even modify. Please mods hide my every post.

Sunshinny:
My marriage is 1 year and 4 months old. We didn't kiss or sleep together before we got marriage. I remember I told him I wanted to his private part so as to be sure he is a man.

When our wedding got closer, I began to have sexual feelings for him to the point that I will become wet when we sit close. He wasn't left out too. I became happy because I rarely have feelings for guys.

When we got married, I found out he doesn't know how to kiss or even make love. [he was a virgin]
I kept on managing. What's annoying me the most is that sometimes he just wants to do and go, no pre-intimacy. When I became 5 months pregnant, we couldn't have sex again, he didn't know how to come in. A friend of mine explained to me how we can do it and I explained to him, yet no show. Instead, he would be complaining that my tummy is disturbing him and promised that when I give birth he will show me pepper.

Out of annoyance, I told him I will never advice my sisters to marry a Virgin.

Now, I have given birth, it's still the same. I have never got to orgasm since we got married. The other day, I told him I will not allow him to touch me again until he learns how to fondles the womanliness. I said so because he injured me there. You know how soft that thing is.

Any time I'm complaining, his reply will be it's my fault not his. I'm beginning to think maybe I don't love after all. In fact in short our sex life is zero. I really don't know what to do again..

@babyosisi
EfemenaXY

Warning :A little too explicit



Women almost always outgrow men sexually when both people Marry as virgins
I can't imagine how frustrating this must be

Your man has a lot of learning to do,he seems very inexperienced obviously
Tell him to be gentle and teach him what you want him to do including the caressing and kisses before the actual do
Most women respond well to the man gently cupping and kissing the nipp.les ,the neck and nibbling the ears while his hands are down there
Teach him to do that

You also do same and also kiss him down there
Every man enjoys that.

As for the orgasm question
Most women do not reach orgasm at intercourse so let that be a consolation
Most women out last the man
If the man can come the second time almost immediately then she may get there that second time if not ,he doesn't just roll over to sleep
That is not allowed
His fingers are not just for eating eba,he should use it and send you where you got to go
A combination of his electric fingers plus kissing on the nippl.es will work


Also most women reach orgasm quicker when they are in the cowgirl position
Try that
You can start with that then end in other positions


He is your husband and you should satisfy one another totally

Pls the MOD who put this on fp should kindly remove it.
Haba. Is it everything that must go to fp?

So this nice thread will fill up with trolls?

Seun,Royalroy,mukina2

Please take this off FP
This is a serious thread

cococandy:
Pls the MOD who put this on fp should kindly remove it.
Haba. Is it everything that must go to fp?

So this nice thread will fill up with trolls?

Even If they take it down it will Still be filled up because it has already been seen by many.

Abeg mods hide all my post. Just when I wanted to give update on how I went today and ask for further advice.

babyosisi:


Forward the message to your phone as evidence.
Don't say anything yet and just check periodically and save more evidence and play cool,it is hard but try as much as you can.
You need an airtight ammunition,before they accuse you of being crazy and paranoid
When you have gathered at least three or four,I will tell you what to do at that point
Meanwhile protect yourself from HIV

How long have you been married?
Any kids?

yes been married for six years, with two kids a boy and a girl

Herzumpther:
Even If they take it down it will Still be filled up because it has already been seen by many.

Abeg mods hide all my post. Just when I wanted to give update on how I went today and ask for further advice.

Go ahead and give your update please.i am dying to know how things went

chisom101:
Pls Anty babyosisi,I saw this massage in my husband phone last week my eyes have seen my ear,been crying since then .see the message below.

(My dalin how are u,start comin I miss ur hot dick can't wait to suck ur lovely dick ,this time I will cum inside ur mouth , ur tongue can do a lot of wonders, I want u to suck my pussy like never before. then I will Bleep u till u cum.am wet pls start comin)

Chai!!!! Jesus!!!!

chisom101:
yes been married for six years, with two kids a boy and a girl

I don't want you to think of leaving yet
Let us see if this marriage can be salvaged
Are you still having intimacy with him?
How is his behavior towards you?
Are you working?
Any physical abuse?
Does he leave home and disappear?

We are off FP now
Thanks mods

Speechless

Been following silently and I must commend all the ma'ams on this thread for the encouragement, advice and lessons. Babyosisi, EfemenaXy, Cococandy, edwife, mutter, bukatyne, moca, kimoni and every other person, well done.

I have a complicated issue, single at the moment tho. Like three years ago, I was dating this Igbo guy. We were so in love and nothing else mattered. He was into fashion designing and was also a goalkeeper for a club then.

On the 1st of January 2012, he came to my house and asked that I marry him. He told my mum too. Didn't give him a definite answer but I was happy. Mum liked him too, he was irresistibly likable.

He had to travel out of the country in search of 'greener pastures', he wanted to go international with his football career. I was there for him, gave him all the support he needed before traveling. Months passed and no call or text from him, eventually, he sent me a text after five months or so. I would spend lots of money to buy airtime so I could talk with him, we would exchange sms and mails. Things were not rosy and there was a time I even sent him some money.

A year and few months later things changed, he began finding faults and making excuses for his annoying behavior. Little did I know he was already planning for me. He just sent me a message saying I shouldn't bother to wait for him if I'm getting impatient and he also said some religious stuffs about being a changed person. And I was like 'now I'm a devil?', I was shocked but didn't argue with him too much. Gradually, I became less bothered about the whole thing, not because I didn't love him but I didn't want to beg for his love, I don't have to or so I thought. I wanted to give him some space to see if things would change.

Recently I got a message from him asking what happened to our love, said he misses me and would like to talk. Time came to talk and he feigned ignorant of the whole message, he said he didn't send the message that he has no record of the message sef. Sent him a screenshot and he said maybe someone did. It was then I knew he now has a girlfriend who in fact is our mutual friend on Facebook. The girl used to ask me too many questions about my relationship,like she cared.

My question is, should I just let go like we never existed? I feel like I at least deserve to know Why he did all that to me. God knows I loved him with all my heart.

Wheeew

Thanks mods

@ babyosisi, thanks for this beautiful thread. God grant u a blissful home.

Although I'm not yet married, but God engraced me with little wisdom built over the years from real lifer scenarios on dating and marriage.
A lot has been said on this thread but I'll quickly drop something for the "not yet married" as that's what my experience covers so far.

1) Picking a future partner should be taken as serious as picking a career. Pay attention like your life depends on it because it actually does. You may cope with a bad job, but its hell coping with a wrong spouse.

2) You have to know that once the foundation is bad, you'll keep patching your marriage till it finally collaps. This is responsible for about 90% of marital problems - wrong choices.

3) You have been advised on this thread to shun frivolities, pay less attention to material things - look for behavioral values in your desired partner. Beauty fades, a good character doesn't; money finishes, intelligence doesn't diminish.

4) Make yourself good for the good partner you want. You need to work on yourself also. Don't just want a ready made or prepared partner - groom yourself too.

5) When you finally make a choice, let your courtship be open. Don't pretend about what you don't like about your partner. Do not conceal any issues. Resolve all you can during courtship. It is during courtship you build trust, tolerance and chemistry. What you won't take in marriage, trash it out during courtship. My fiancée and I have gone through thorough times, just to smoothen the edges. I'm not OK with her numerous boy friends and the touchy touchy. Yes! I told her, and that was it. She doesn't want certain girls around me too - had to let them go. Before marriage you should have talked about salient things in courtship - raising kids, treatment of inlaws, finances etc.

I'm ammused at the way people treat each other and say they'll be getting married soon. Your fiance is holding different girls on his DP everyday and you say its not a big deal? That's how it begins. You will start complaining about what you didn't tame in courtship after marriage.

In courtship, start killing all other crushes or flings - value your partner and let him or her know it. That's how to build trust. Once infidelity sets in during courtship, your partner will find it difficult trusting you in marriage even though he/she has forgiven you.

With these few lines and prayers, you can get a good foundation. Once you have a good foundation (partner and understanding), every other issue that comes up will not be enough to destroy the foundation u built.

Thanks

Amuga:
Hmmmm, my concern is not him, how i wish she is not pregnant

Well she is pregnant and has to go ahead with having the baby.She should prepare herself for the worst.She might end up as a single mother here in Nigeria(or what they call the Naija wife) or just wait a long time before she unites with her hubby.She ought to have waited for a proper marriage before getting pregnant too.

Young girls need to always set their priorities right and be more logical about things like this rather than just emotional.Except if he is a guy you know so well before he travels and his mission abroad is well set out,don't just hook up with a guy going abroad.It can get real messy.

delightful1:
Been following silently and I must commend all the ma'ams on this thread for the encouragement, advice and lessons. Babyosisi, EfemenaXy, Cococandy, edwife, mutter, bukatyne, moca, kimoni and every other person, well done.

I have a complicated issue, single at the moment tho. Like three years ago, I was dating this Igbo guy. We were so in love and nothing else mattered. He was into fashion designing and was also a goalkeeper for a club then.

On the 1st of January 2012, he came to my house and asked that I marry him. He told my mum too. Didn't give him a definite answer but I was happy. Mum liked him too, he was irresistibly likable.

He had to travel out of the country in search of 'greener pastures', he wanted to go international with his football career. I was there for him, gave him all the support he needed before traveling. Months passed and no call or text from him, eventually, he sent me a text after five months or so. I would spend lots of money to buy airtime so I could talk with him, we would exchange sms and mails. Things were not rosy and there was a time I even sent him some money.

A year and few months later things changed, he began finding faults and making excuses for his annoying behavior. Little did I know he was already planning for me. He just sent me a message saying I shouldn't bother to wait for him if I'm getting impatient and he also said some religious stuffs about being a changed person. And I was like 'now I'm a devil?', I was shocked but didn't argue with him too much. Gradually, I became less bothered about the whole thing, not because I didn't love him but I didn't want to beg for his love, I don't have to or so I thought. I wanted to give him some space to see if things would change.

Recently I got a message from him asking what happened to our love, said he misses me and would like to talk. Time came to talk and he feigned ignorant of the whole message, he said he didn't send the message that he has no record of the message sef. Sent him a screenshot and he said maybe someone did. It was then I knew he now has a girlfriend who in fact is our mutual friend on Facebook. The girl used to ask me too many questions about my relationship,like she cared.

My question is, should I just let go like we never existed? I feel like I at least deserve to know Why he did all that to me. God knows I loved him with all my heart.

Give him the benefit of the doubt,he may be telling the truth
Does this girl live in the same country he travelled to?

GlorifiedTunde:
@ babyosisi, thanks for this beautiful thread. God grant u a blissful home.

Although I'm not yet married, but God engraced me with little wisdom built over the years from real lifer scenarios on dating and marriage.
A lot has been said on this thread but I'll quickly drop something for the "not yet married" as that's what my experience covers so far.

1) Picking a future partner should be taken as serious as picking a partner. Pay attention like your life depends on it because it actually does. You may cope with a bad job, but its hell coping with a wrong spouse.

2) You have to know that once the foundation is bad, you'll keep patching your marriage till it finally collaps. This is responsible for about 90% of marital problems - wrong choices.

3) You have been advised on this thread to shun frivolities, pay less attention to material things - look for behavioral values in your desired partner. Beauty fades, a good character doesn't; money finishes, intelligence doesn't diminish.

4) Make yourself good for the good partner you want. You need to work on yourself also. Don't just want a ready made or prepared partner - groom yourself too.

[b]5) When you finally make a choice, let your courtship be open. Don't pretend about what you don't like about your partner. Do not conceal any issues. Resolve all you can during courtship. It is during courtship you build trust, tolerance and chemistry. [/b]What you won't take in marriage, trash it out during courtship. My fiancée and I have gone through thorough times, just to smoothen the edges. I'm not OK with her numerous boy friends and the touchy touchy. Yes! I told her, and that was it. She doesn't want certain girls around me too - had to let them go. Before marriage you should have talked about salient things in courtship - raising kids, treatment of inlaws, finances etc.

I'm ammused at the way people treat each other and say they'll be getting married soon. Your fiance is holding different girls on his DP everyday and you say its not a big deal? That's how it begins. You will start complaining about what you didn't tame in courtship after marriage.

In courtship, start killing all other crushes or flings - value your partner and let him or her know it. That's how to build trust. Once infidelity sets in during courtship, your partner will find it difficult trusting you in marriage even though he/she has forgiven you.

With these few lines and prayers, you can get a good foundation. Once you have a good foundation (partner and understanding), every other issue that comes up will not be enough to destroy the foundation u built.

Thanks

I agree 100%
And if it doesn't feel right at courtship.it will never be resolved in marriage!that is the mistake girls make
"As soon as we marry or as soon as we have a baby everything will change"
Never
It will become ten times worse.

delightful1:
Been following silently and I must commend all the ma'ams on this thread for the encouragement, advice and lessons. Babyosisi, EfemenaXy, Cococandy, edwife, mutter, bukatyne, moca, kimoni and every other person, well done.

I have a complicated issue, single at the moment tho. Like three years ago, I was dating this Igbo guy. We were so in love and nothing else mattered. He was into fashion designing and was also a goalkeeper for a club then.

On the 1st of January 2012, he came to my house and asked that I marry him. He told my mum too. Didn't give him a definite answer but I was happy. Mum liked him too, he was irresistibly likable.

He had to travel out of the country in search of 'greener pastures', he wanted to go international with his football career. I was there for him, gave him all the support he needed before traveling. Months passed and no call or text from him, eventually, he sent me a text after five months or so. I would spend lots of money to buy airtime so I could talk with him, we would exchange sms and mails. Things were not rosy and there was a time I even sent him some money.

A year and few months later things changed, he began finding faults and making excuses for his annoying behavior. Little did I know he was already planning for me. He just sent me a message saying I shouldn't bother to wait for him if I'm getting impatient and he also said some religious stuffs about being a changed person. And I was like 'now I'm a devil?', I was shocked but didn't argue with him too much. Gradually, I became less bothered about the whole thing, not because I didn't love him but I didn't want to beg for his love, I don't have to or so I thought. I wanted to give him some space to see if things would change.

Recently I got a message from him asking what happened to our love, said he misses me and would like to talk. Time came to talk and he feigned ignorant of the whole message, he said he didn't send the message that he has no record of the message sef. Sent him a screenshot and he said maybe someone did. It was then I knew he now has a girlfriend who in fact is our mutual friend on Facebook. The girl used to ask me too many questions about my relationship,like she cared.

My question is, should I just let go like we never existed? I feel like I at least deserve to know Why he did all that to me. God knows I loved him with all my heart.

There! You answered your question already @ bolded. In as much as it is good to keep your relationship at all cost, don't lower your self esteem. Most ladies have been emotionally damaged because they insist on loving a guy who won't love them back equally. I'm of the opinion that one should only fight for a lover whom you're already married too. A lady is as important as a guy in relationships. If he valued you and all you have done, he shouldn't have reasons getting another. Real men don't dump quality girls.

Just let him go already and save yourself from imminent emotional breakdown