babyosisi:


Everything happens for a reason
Please don't beg him to change his mind,he may throw that in your face constantly when the challenges of marriage come,let him go and wish him well.
Many years down the road ,you will look back and thank God for the disappointment
I understand how embarrassed you may feel having told everyone
Don't despair,you can be sad for a while but don't get bitter,something good will come out of this
Yes God has a better plan for you,I declare that wit9h you

Dey r doin him from his father's side..... Babyosisi has sed all oh don't even beg him but hope say no be April fool tinz ?

thank u very much Anty osisi God bless u

@ladynice


Go ahead and tell your parents
Then slowly one by one tell your friends and family
It will hurt but you will be OK



I am just curious,who is sponsoring this wedding?

blessedqueen:



Dey r doin him from his father's side..... Babyosisi has sed all oh don't even beg him but hope say no be April fool tinz ?

Hmmmmmm its nt he said since on saturday & has nt called since den

ladynice:
thank u very much Anty osisi God bless u

My ex fiancé is now married to two women
That could have been me with a nwunye di ( co wife)
The wife is not barren o
She also has a boy but the husband ,a Christian married a second wife
When we parted ways( even though I left), I didn't know the reason why
When I heard he was now a polygamist I said wow
God was protecting me from that
You never know what God is protecting you from

That is my attitude to everything
You lose a job,something better is on the way
A relationship dies.something more spectacular is in the wings.
Use this time to build yourself spiritually and emotionally and take whatever lessons you learned from that other relationship including any mistakes you made,learn from it and apply the lessons to the next one.

[quote author=babyosisi post=



I am just curious,who is sponsoring this wedding?[/quote]

he is d 1 he was supposed 2 come wit his people & c my parents dis months & collect d list for bride price & den we go together 2 d market 2 purchase cloth 4 d traditional marriage

ladynice:


Hmmmmmm its nt he said since on saturday & has nt called since den

Have you folks done the trado?

ladynice:


he is d 1 he was supposed 2 come wit his people & c my parents dis months & collect d list for bride price & den we go together 2 d market 2 purchase cloth 4 d traditional marriage

E never collect list sef
Did they even bring the initial "knocking on the door "wine?
In Igboland ( don't know if it's same with your culture) when the man hasn't collected the list,marriage never begin now

thanks I think d only mistake I did was 2 ignore d signs dat he was exhibiting b4 now he himself confess I did nt offend him I have spot on my leg from past injuries I sustained wen I was still very small in form of kiloid Dats his only problem

@Evina. wow. thanks so much. You have really inspired me. just yesterday I was still talking to my mum and she was saying maybe I shouldn't be too hard on him and not give up easily. i like him, he respects me a lot and loves me even with the little he has. i will put more effort into motivating him and helping him out too. just that we are miles apart but ill do all i can to see him get better.
I'm so touched at your story. You put in a lot of work, he's so lucky to have you. I wish you guys d best in your marriage.

Evina:
@geekybabe: I know most of the responses you got to your predicament are from mature and married posters.

I just want to give my suggestion based on my personal experience.

That laid back dude today can become a driven, goal oriented man tomorrow. Mine is a living proof. he is not just an Engineer, he got certified in HSE and picked up great designing skills. I once got a contract to supply table top calendars. He designed it and managed the printing process. I would have spent 100k, paying a designer for the designs. He stays dedicated to tasks and wouldn't give up until he has seen it through. I didn't see these qualities in him before and wouldn't have known it was in there if I gave up on him.

ladynice:
thanks I think d only mistake I did was 2 ignore d signs dat he was exhibiting b4 now he himself confess I did nt offend him I have spot on my leg from past injuries I sustained wen I was still very small in form of kiloid Dats his only problem

Now you are talking
I was about to ask if he showed no signs at all
Please forget this man
My cousin is married to a girl that has polio on one leg and they live happily
If he couldn't look beyond a scar on your leg then he is very shallow

we r nt igbos dey r supposed 2 come & collect list dis month den traditional july 31

Ladynice,its well
U wiill get over it.

My friend trado was called off 2 days to the D day. No reason.
Later my friend discovered he was a serial liar.
Wanted to milk her and her family dry but my friend being a smart gal, jovially decline on every suggestion he makes which include bringing money.

And to say they dated while in school.
She has gone back to do her masters now.
Hopefully, she will get a better guy.

So look at d end of the tunnel.

thanks once again 4 ur words of encouragement God bless u

[quote author=moca post=32308788]Ladynice,its well
U wiill get over
ANTY moca thank u very much

thorpido:
You've got a good head on your shoulders,Evina.Yours fiance is a blessed man.

thank you. I am blessed to have him too.

geekybabe:
@Evina. wow. thanks so much. You have really inspired me. just yesterday I was still talking to my mum and she was saying maybe I shouldn't be too hard on him and not give up easily. i like him, he respects me a lot and loves me even with the little he has. i will put more effort into motivating him and helping him out too. just that we are miles apart but ill do all i can to see him get better.
I'm so touched at your story. You put in a lot of work, he's so lucky to have you. I wish you guys d best in your marriage.

yes. I did put in a lot of effort. He also did rub off on me, as is the case when two people who care about each other decide to work as a team.

I wish you the best and hope you get the best results out of your efforts.

Xone3:
@
I really appreciate your words of advice, it was timely and well spoken. Your words kept me thinking on what I really appreciate in him. Also, Considering the fact that there are still other things left unsaid I have to think about why am with him. Make adjustments and take Evina's advice to strive to get something tangible doing. Thanks a lot

All the best
Let God guide you.

babyosisi:


Now you are talking
I was about to ask if he showed no signs at all
Please forget this man
My cousin is married to a girl that has polio on one leg and they live happily[b]
If he couldn't look beyond a scar on your leg then he is very shallow[/b]

True talk.
@ladynice. The ONLY thing I took from your post was your statement about having peace. Peace is the pointer that you are on the right track. It is the proof that you are in alignment with God's will.

Yes you may feel quite hurt or some shame, but please know this. If you are a Christian, Gods word says, "for your shame, I will give you a twofold recompense". So be strong because you will be overcompensated.

Get into prayers and ask for strength. The rest will be easy.
Cheer up gurl.

mavany:
His sister truely didn't know,I was the one calling cos she called back and asked me to wear the same ashebi with her friends for her trad wedding,@opiosko I haven't reported him to any one before, any lady would be upset seeing her boo with a lady who was barely clad on social media

Meaning you'v gone back to him? I was wondering also whether she was trying to protect you without hurting her brother too, now i'm cleared from what you said about her. "....if you dont see any future with my brother dont waste..." is a weighty indirect advise. Goodluck anyway.

Xone3:
@
I really appreciate your words of advice, it was timely and well spoken. Your words kept me thinking on what I really appreciate in him. Also, Considering the fact that there are still other things left unsaid I have to think about why am with him. Make adjustments and take Evina's advice to strive to get something tangible doing. Thanks a lot

That's a highly irresponsible and immature man you'v got there. Some mature minds here may not want to say it so as not to pass of as a sadist but the man you painted will well make an irresponsible husband and father.

[quote author=ladynice post=32308901][/quote] The holyspirit help you through this. Amen.

Xone3:

I have tried talking to him but he just dismisses it as no issue. He doesn't drink more than two bottles but it's too frequent. Almost everyday after work as long as he closes early. He doesn't act matured and rarely calls expect I call, ping or flash. lives life carefree and moneybag to friends.

i av a friend dat exhibit exact same character like ur hubby, we would argue abt his spending lifestyle almost to d extent of fighting, den one day an acquaintance of mine advice me 2 steer clear of his business and i obeyed...

Guess what...

This guy is as broke as a church mouse, d friends he do spend on extravagantly deserted him, all i do now is 2 console him n help with d litu i can...

C'mon girl, nollywood get dis kind films for alaba, go buy film like dat make una 2 watch 2geda, den 4eva hold ur peace, lock up...

If symptom persist after 2 weeks, withdraw 4rm his life a bit, give him distance... Na only him go consult him doctor later on 4 brain check hahahahha

fact is in marriage ONE has 2 b financially responsible

From page 0 till now, no one has talked on the issue of SEX:

my question goes thus:-

a situation ur spouse decided he/she wants a BJ or any oda adventurous sex positions n u are not comfortable with dat, how do u go abt it, if refusing him/her will hurt him/her??

Is there any need 4 sex timetable?

N lastly pls be truthful here.. How do u view a guy who insist on a NO sex b4 marriage policy??

Xone3:
@
I really appreciate your words of advice, it was timely and well spoken. Your words kept me thinking on what I really appreciate in him. Also, Considering the fact that there are still other things left unsaid I have to think about why am with him. Make adjustments and take Evina's advice to strive to get something tangible doing. Thanks a lot

All the best dear!

OnyeEgo1:
From page 0 till now, no one has talked on the issue of SEX:

my question goes thus:-

a situation ur spouse decided he/she wants a BJ or any oda adventurous sex positions n u are not comfortable with dat, how do u go abt it, if refusing him/her will hurt him/her??

Is there any need 4 sex timetable?

N lastly pls be truthful here.. How do u view a guy who insist on a NO sex b4 marriage policy??

I'm open to all sorts of sex adventures except anal and any other form that will cause me pain and physical harm...

I have a personal policy of NO sex before marriage but however, I once dated a guy with the same policy and God helping, he later confessed to me that he does n ot like sex (I really don't know if he is a gay and I don't care)...


HELL NO to any SEX timetable...

OnyeEgo1:
From page 0 till now, no one has talked on the issue of SEX:

my question goes thus:-

a situation ur spouse decided he/she wants a BJ or any oda adventurous sex positions n u are not comfortable with dat, how do u go abt it, if refusing him/her will hurt him/her??

Is there any need 4 sex timetable?

N lastly pls be truthful here.. How do u view a guy who insist on a NO sex b4 marriage policy??

I forgot to add this...

Despite having the NO sex before marriage policy, I'm also cautious about guys that share the policy too (due to past experience)...Initially, I thought it was because of his religion because he is a religious guy (I admire that...lol) but I became real worried about some statementa he made, when we talked about sex...After much Prayers(lol), he confessed...

keppyy:



I'm open to all sorts of sex adventures except anal and any other form that will cause me pain and physical harm...

I have a personal policy of NO sex before marriage but however, I once dated a guy with the same policy and God helping, he later confessed to me that he does n ot like sex (I really don't know if he is a gay and I don't care)...


HELL NO to any SEX timetable...

no ur ex isn't gay...
what if i say I'm like ur ex bf, i hate sex, i have a big issue with dis love ish, methinks its all scam n sham arrangement...

Don't get me wrong i generally like knowledge datz y i am here, i av no smallest feeling 4 dis marriage thing...

Ehm, tanx 4 ur candid response

keppyy:


I forgot to add this...

Despite having the NO sex before marriage policy, I'm also cautious about guys that share the policy too (due to past experience)...Initially, I thought it was because of his religion because he is a religious guy (I admire that...lol) but I became real worried about some statementa he made, when we talked about sex...After much Prayers(lol), he confessed...

abeg, what was d confession?, hope its not what i am thinking

OnyeEgo1:


no ur ex isn't gay...
what if i say I'm like ur ex bf, i hate sex, i have a big issue with dis love ish, methinks its all scam n sham arrangement...

Don't get me wrong i generally like knowledge datz y i am here, i av no smallest feeling 4 dis marriage thing...

Ehm, tanx 4 ur candid response

What exactly o you hate, SEX, LOVE or MARRIAGE

This was his confession...1.) He saw sex as Unclean (religion)...2.) He is a doctor and due to his vast knowledge of the woman's body, it disgusted him...3.) He got all his sexual satisfaction from masturbation..(He preferred masturbation to the real deal)...

keppyy:



What exactly o you hate, SEX, LOVE or MARRIAGE

This was his confession...1.) He saw sex as Unclean (religion)...2.) He is a doctor and due to his vast knowledge of the woman's body, it disgusted him...3.) He got all his sexual satisfaction from masturbation..(He preferred masturbation to the real deal)...

How are you dear?

Didn't get any feedback

keppyy:



What exactly o you hate, SEX, LOVE or MARRIAGE

This was his confession...1.) He saw sex as Unclean (religion)...2.) He is a doctor and due to his vast knowledge of the woman's body, it disgusted him...3.) He got all his sexual satisfaction from masturbation..(He preferred masturbation to the real deal)...

i am not comfortable with the 3, sex, love and marriage... Tho my looks are deceptive...