Cheerio,

I think you need to take a 'break' from both of them. At least a week or two to 'yourself' will help you put things into perspective. Moreover, odds of things working out between you and your boyfriend are higher than the divorcee,

Things to consider,

Divorcee (a.k.a. Prospect)

1. Ex-wife (baggage)
2. Kids (more baggage)
3. Emotional baggage (yet again, more baggage) from previous relationship
4. He's a prospect, not a current (prospects are always so attractive until they become current, then the appeal dies)
5. You know something is off, like you said "he wants me as his wife but am scared , i may get the same treat as his ex-wife", and you've only gotten 'his' side of the story? Imagine what his wife's side is?!!

Boyfriend (a.k.a. Current)

1. He's current and although the appeal may have died, it can slowly be REKINDLED
2. You know him best so you can make a list of your own as pertains to his odds, but I'm on the outside looking in and so far my vote is for your boyfriend.

Good luck.