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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question (38236 Views)
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Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Nobody: 12:04pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
babyosisi:Anybody here spending time reading this thread should hold this post as the wisest. I feel the OP doesn't understand what her friend is experiencing, where is her empathy? Truth is, and will always remain, that many wives do feel their MIL's involvement in their marriage makes them feel somewhat redundant as a wife. Of course, this will bring up emotions. A woman who utters such an ultimatum is probably not telling her husband to be rid of his mother; what woman who loves her husband would ever mean that? But through frustration, she is appealing to him to restore her role in the marriage as a man's wife/complement/partner. Men, you're so quick to come on threads like this and hail the unbreakable bond you have with your mothers. It's a beautiful bond, but seriously consider this post I've quoted. When you choose to marry, then you have chosen to gain a wife; don't marry unless you are willing to respectfully hold your wife in the position your marriage vows dictate. Your mother is not your wife, and it's your responsibility to keep the roles separate, just as your wife needs to do the same regarding her own mother. There can be harmony between MILs and their DILs, but whenever there is not, look at yourself before you place blame elsewhere. 15 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by bukatyne(f): 12:04pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
But again if the husband puts his mother first, who will put the wife first? Her son? And I also think it is quite unrealistic to compare the wife's mother to the husband's mother 2 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Nobody: 12:05pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
Bt is it OK for a MIL to tel her son to choose BTW ha n hs wif 1 Like |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by cacali(f): 12:06pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
tivta:Helloooo did you read my post? Who talked about fighting fire with fire? Some men are also not in good terms with their MILs, they just tend to ignore them. |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Profkomolafe(m): 12:07pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
op, u r a role model worth emulating 4 dz nowadays gurlz of me nd my husband crooner. Worst of it all, Dy no dy fine. Wel, tnkz to marykay nd .........,... |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Oiselenjakhian(m): 12:11pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
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Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Nobody: 12:16pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
tivta: Bros wetin you dey yarn? Leave idiomatic proverb joo. Which kin cake Why won't I say if? It is their choice if they marry or not. I hope my son leaves my house when he is man enough. Married or not. |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by cbrass(m): 12:22pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
Shollypopzz: it's still unwise and grossly stupid for any wife to ask that question.. learn to calm down before you speak 2 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by tivta(m): 12:23pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
cacali:. My fire by fire was due to you saying DILs should make boundaries between them and their MILs. If men can ignore MILs why can't women do the same? Instead of making it sound as if without them a man will die? As long as there is room for divorces, no man should ever put his wife above his parents. Blood is thicker than water. |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by bosun11(m): 12:23pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
God bless the OP......You are blessed and your children will be blessed including all your generations.Very wise words 1 Like |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by cbrass(m): 12:23pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
Khabuqi: it's easy to say |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by shindarayo(f): 12:24pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
greatgod2012:it also beats my imagination when girls put dir hubby in dis kind of situation.what re u xpecting to hear, dt he chooses u?hmm!thank God for me sha, av always prayed to God to gv m a mil like my mum.and he did, she is d best tin dt eva happened to m and I love her like my mama...she talks to m and treats m like a daughta.she even gives me tricks on how to make her son love me more.i love her, shes d best. |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Nobody: 12:25pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
cbrass: And easy to do |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Nobody: 12:25pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
greatgod2012: And after 20 times of asking him to help talk with his mother and mother is still being a pain? What should be the next line? Yes your opinion but inadvertently or perhaps out of not having a good grasp on a subject,a young woman comes to you for advise and all your hear was the line about choosing? 4 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by tivta(m): 12:26pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
Khabuqi:ok oh. Sha just remember, karma is real. Peace. |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by iPopAlomo(m): 12:26pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
I've dumped alot of girls asking me to choose between her and Arsenal F.C... Talkless of my Mother... Na when Arsenal wan play Chelsea dem go wan see you... I can only miss that match for my mum... Funny enough... Those two never clash... I STILL THINK MARRIAGES ARE OVER-RATED... #MyTwoKobo 1 Like |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Nobody: 12:29pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
SAMBARRY:You said well but remember, You can allow somebody into your ''HOUSE'' without allowing that person into your HOME. |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Nobody: 12:30pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
taryour: Please are you married and with a mother inlaw? If you were the young woman whose MIL poured hot soup on her because the soup didn't have salt and the same MIL flogged her,would you be saying this? In a normal situation greatgod's advise will fly but those words about choosing don't occur in those normal situations and that is what those who don't buy what you are saying are trying to stress There are men who know from birth that their mothers are difficult,it is their duty to protect that wife from that mother they know too well. 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Kingsasian(m): 12:33pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
No gf or wife can come btw my sisters, mum and i. God never create dat kind of Eve. |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Nobody: 12:36pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
tivta: The ancient concept of karma found in Hinduism and other traditions is far more complex than simply "what goes around, comes around". So Uncle tivta, forget that karma is real thingy. In my opinion, when a man marries, his wife becomes his first priority. If a man is not ready for that commitment, then he should stay away from marriage. No be by force. Peace! 3 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by cbrass(m): 12:38pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
Vickybee: no vex nw.. Lol |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Nobody: 12:39pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
Vickybee: Including those whose mothers fight and tear wrapper and pant in the yard and market places 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Nobody: 12:40pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
babyosisi:So if those Men fail or find it very difficult to control their mother, then the DIL should use that world? |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by TONYE001(m): 12:41pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
Right from the second we exchanged our vows, my wife became the first in any set of options.... Our God is not an author of confusion; as taught by the Bible, married couples should see themselves as one..how possible is it then for a person to choose someone else over himself? The above logic does not imply that I do not have good parents as stated by someone up there. My parents are fantastic; they did a very good job bringing me up but no one can come before my wife. Simple. I think situations like the OP narrated should be handled with wisdom without compromising your stance by reason of your marital vows. A good wife or husband would not let issues deteriorate to the point where a spouse would have to make a choice between him/her and a parent. May God help us all... 15 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Eneze1(f): 12:43pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
crackhaus: This is basically because women don't like each other 1 Like |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Nobody: 12:44pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
chisco82: You are being simplistic If a man sees his mother acting badly,he should separate his wife from her by sending her back to her house. Failing to do that is a failure on the husband's part to run his home 7 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Diogo1(m): 12:45pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
The only advice I can give is that married people should be wary of the tales they tell their parents and siblings of their spouses. These bad stories help form their opinions hence their behaviors. |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Nobody: 12:47pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
Truly it's a very silly question that should be avoided - but, trust me, before a SENSIBLE wife would open her mouth and ask such question. The husband/mil must have shown her that she is a second fiddle which no woman would take lightly. Some MILs would push you to the wall with their overbearing "protectiveness" and love for their son(s). Even in the bible, it's written that a man shall leave his father/mother and be joined with his wife! That day both of you signed the dotted lines, you become the first citizen of each other's heart. Personally, I would want my son to love his wife while giving me my due respect and deserved love. Whatever cloth I washed, I washed outta mother's love not because I wanna rank above/compete with his wife someday/anyday. Nah-nah. That's all. 15 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Nobody: 12:47pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
TONYE001: The wisest out of the bunch of men on this thread Perhaps the only one that understands the Role of a man and hubby 13 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by Brugo(m): 12:47pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
There will always be a special part of my heart reserved for my mother that my wife can never occupy. A husband can divorce his wife but his mother is forever his mother. Nothing like ex-mum. |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by coogar: 12:47pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
babyosisi: easy for you to say this..... you especially would be worse than patience ozokwor when your son gets married..... 2 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Choose Who You Want Between Me And Your Mother- Very Silly Question by cbrass(m): 12:50pm On Mar 16, 2015 |
Khabuqi: hmm...sometimes I don't understand why we lie alot to ourselves on wedding day claiming to love our inlaws when we don't . just Imagine my mum writing a letter to me on a visit and I will first have to ask for a clearance from my wife before she comes? ?? do you know how this woman suffered for me to be Where I am today? when i had issue with my leg,for complete 3yrs this woman backed me when I couldn't walk. and so many other things I can't say here. I can barge in on my mum at any time and she will be glad to see me and why can't she do thesame too? I believe if there is true love 10 ppl can live in a room meant for 5ppl. it's love that's absent in most homes today that's why fights come up between inlaws |
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