Courtship is a very delicate stage of relationship between a man and woman because it will determine the possibility of them both becoming a husband and wife. this period holds lots of issues that the two involved would need to iron out and put in place before walking down the aisle together. but there are certain mistakes most spouses in Nigeria make that most times ruins their relationships. this article exposes those mistakes in their true sense.
It is the little foxes we ignore that eats up the beautiful huge vines we spend all our time growing.
1. Engaging Your Spouse into So Much Responsibility:
It is necessary that both the two take certain responsibilities that relates to them. but when you become too impulsive on your spouse,coking up too much work for him/her to do for you, he/she will begin to have a feeling that you're becoming too unnecessarily demanding and selfish. remember you both are only courting not married yet.the responsibilities should and needs to have limitselse your spouse becomes a slave in disguise.
2. Keeping Parents Out of The Picture:
Most Nigerians may find this hard but the truth is, there are certain levels your relationship with your spouse will reach that would require your parents to know about it. at least let them know that you're into a relationship. don't be shy or are you ashamed of your love life? when parents are brought into the picture, they could be of good help by giving some good guide. most time young people think parents don't know 'whats up' as fondly said but the truth is they do. tap some wisdom from them.
When parent are involved from the stage of courtship, the issue of parental agreements at the marriage rites won't be a problem cause they knew of it earlier. so you see involving them is actually a bonus especially when the tribe of your spouse is different from yours.
3. Practicing Marriage Affairs in Courtship:
As tough as it may sound and be, practicing marriage affairs in courtship is dangerous and damaging to the foundation of your relationship. when you begin to have the pleasure of marriage in courtship, what pleasure and satisfaction would there be for you marriage?
These acts would gradually make you loose value and respect for your spouse cause after all you've had a taste of him/her before the right time. so what more could there be. avoiding this mistake may sound tough and impossible but its possible and necessary if you would give room for self control.
4. Pretence:
Some persons would want to claim what they're not while courting. this stage of your life doesn't work that way. pretence would only crash all you've worked hard for. your spouse may have liked the fake you but whenever he/she finds out the real you, he/she may not like the real you.
It is important you maintain your personality so that if anyone is loving you, let it be for who you're and not what you claim you are.there is nothing as valuable as honesty in courtship cause it will earn you love, trust and respectfrom your spouse.
5. Keeping Secrets:
This is a common practice but its effects are similar to that of a time bomb, cause surely one day it will explode when you least expect it to and its aftermath effects may shatter the relationship you have with your spouse.
Being open and free minded towards your spouse is very necessary because it will help him/her understand you much better or wouldn't you want your spouse to know you better?
6. Having Much Time For Outing Than For Both-Selves:
In Nigeria most people believe is when their spouses take them out for shopping,partying,touring etc that he/she sincerely loves them but in the real sense those are not bad but actually if much steals the bonus time you both would have maximized to grow in knowledge for each others benefits.
Why not spend some quality time discussing issues that pertains the future of you both? you can read books on marriage together cause what you read and ink you think.ignore the hypes outside and concentrate on you both for it is only the two of you that would make your homenot the shopping,partying and touring activities.
These above mistakes are not to judge anyone's relationship but are rather an exposure to the little issues we ignore most times that ruins relationships. put these things into considerations to avoid tarnishing your relationship yourself. your relationship with your spouse is a good thing so why not grow it much better by eradicating these mistakes. your spouse deserves the best of you or doesn't he/she?

op you made wonderful points especially as it relates to nos 4-6. They are timeless.

nice post all u av stated is so true.
But u skipped one.

*prayers* see this days one needs to be prayerful and watchful not to end up with the wrong person,prayers can go a long way always put u and ur patner in prayers because the devil never cease to plan evil,havn't u heard of relations of 5,6.and even 11 years end at just the twinkle of an eye?? and at the same time dressing modest.ur patner might not tell u,but believe me u he wants u too dress modest because he cant present any kinda women to his parents.

I will like to place more emphasis on.

Pretence and keeping of secrets has ruined lots of relationship once a woman loves you for who you are u need not pretend to be something u are not just to impress her.

Keeping of Secrets leads to lying and when u are comfortable lying to ur patner, dis trust sets in nd that can ruin a relationship.

A word is enough for the wise

Op, you ve done well. Come ve a bottle of hollandia yoghurt

Are there really people who don't have sex before marriage?? Its just as surprising and as rare as seeing BIGFOOT walk around. I can't do it!

Op that your no2 tends to be quite hard especially if you are from very disciplined homes where every mistake you make will be easily attributed to your being a relationship when you not married

ArchEnemy:
Op, you ve done well. Come ve a bottle of hollandia yoghurt

. Thanx oooo!

justmag:
Are there really people who don't have sex before marriage?? Its just as surprising and as rare as seeing BIGFOOT walk around. I can't do it!

you can if you decide it