And you know this how?

Shey na because the woman was 'dumb' enough to confess?

He was cheating without a care in the world, his wife cheats once and that's reason enough to divorce her? If I hear say I comot from that house.

rationalmind:
@freecocoa

You again?



I don't know. But let's assume he also has a kid outside the marriage.

Don't you find it odd he didn't use the opportunity to confess to the wife he also has a kid outside the marriage?

Don't you find it odd he has the audacity and guts to send the wife packing when he knows he's also guilty of same thing?

On the basis of the above reasons, I'm of the opinion he has no kids outside the marriage.



I see. So, you're saying you would have advised the woman against confessing if she had brought the issue to nairaland for advice.



See how you attempt to trivialise the whole ish. She didn't just cheat, she got pregnant and deceived the husband into thinking the child belongs to him.

cococandy:
yes ke. Don't you know it is his God-given right

freecocoa:
Lmao, what do you mean by me again?

There's nothing odd about not confessing, assuming he has a child outside, he's a wicked man who abandoned his wife for months, dude prolly has no conscience.

There's also nothing to find odd as regards sending his wife away, duh! No be Nigeria in Africa, where most times, the man sees himself as some sort of god, who does what he likes, especially as regards sleeping around with other women, tell people your husband is being unfaithful and they look at you like "are you new to how things work here or what"

The woman didn't come to NL seeking advice, so I don't see how what I would have told her is of relevance here.

The more reason why I think the woman is very dumb, she's not sure who the father of her child is, why try to fix something that's not broken?

The man cheated on her, she did same, the man has no right whatsoever to talk divorce, who is to say he doesn't have a child or more outside?

rationalmind:


Just remembered the randy corper thread



Not so fast. There's every possibility that abandoning the wife for months was in reaction to something sinister the wife did. Maybe that's why he's even insisting she leaves. He has had enough . So, Unless we hear from him, it's hasty and wrong to conclude he's a wicked man with no conscience thereby implying he can as well hide it from the wife.

Even if I agree with you he's a wicked man with no conscience judging by his act in 2002, it will still be wrong basing your opinion of him on an incidence that happened 13 years ago. You will agree with me there are certain things you did 13 years ago that can be seen as wicked. Does that mean freecocoa is a wicked lady with no conscience?



Okay



Lol, its very much relevant as it will make folks more careful about taking advices they read here . So answer the question.



I don't think she isn't sure. Here is an excerpt: After some years, I discovered that the child looked quite different from his siblings and out of guilt, I decided to tell him the truth.



She has been proven guilty of having a child for someone else by her own admission. Until proven otherwise, the husband cannot be accused of the same and as such, has every reason to send her packing.

freecocoa:
I knew it was about the corper thread,just yanking your chain

Nah, we can't attribute his abandoning his wife to something she did, not after we've established that African men can do as they please,especially when it has to do with 'cheating', they believe and act like its their birthright, their philandering ways can't be tied to what a wife did or did not do.

If his actions from 2002 can't be used to judge him, why use that of his wife from years ago to judge her, even if she just confessed?

I've always been a kind person btw.

I'd have advised her to only tell him, if she was sure the kid wasn't her husband's and then to make sure they settle their differences in a way that doesn't leave her a victim.

Looking different from one's siblings is not proof enough of having different fathers, a DNA test is highly important.

She admitted to sleeping with someone else and hinted at the possibility of the child not being her husband's, so until it's proven that he or she(the child)is indeed not her husband's, she's innocent of having the man take responsibility for someone else's child.

Even if the child turns out to be her boss's, why is that enough reason to divorce his wife, when he may have one or more children outside, given that he was and still prolly is, a cheat? I think he should forgive his wife as they are now even.

rationalmind:






Yes, your premise has been established but your conclusion (bolded) is false. I need not dwell much on it since the simple fact we've seen/read about men who were pushed outside by their wives proves it.



Nice one, but that's not exactly what I said. I didn't say his actions of 2002 cannot be used to judge him. I said your (present)opinion of a man should not be based on his action in 2002.

More so, woman isn't being judged, she's only suffering the consequences of her actions





Except that, in this scenario, there's no way she can be sure the kid doesn't belong to the husband without first telling the husband.



It might not be proof but absolutely logical. Look at this

1. She slept with her husband alone and has three kids that resemble him.

2. She slept with someone else and the kid doesn't look like the husband.

3. The kid doesn't belong to the husband.





For some strange reasons, the exact time she slept with someone else is the same time she gave birth to a kid that doesn't resemble the others. Doesn't that amaze you?



Except that, unlike the woman, we have no hint whatsoever he has children outside. The only thing we've established is that, he was a cheat. Being a cheat does not in anyway equate getting someone pregnant. Until proven otherwise, he has every reason to send her packing.

freecocoa:
Reason why I will keep calling the woman dumb, your husband was cheating for months, you did just once or so and decided you gave your life to christ, which is now enough reason to go about saying you think the child isn't your hubby's? Pray tell, amongst these two, who has a higher chance of having children outside the matrimony, bearing in mind that pregnancy can happen with or without protection?

MrOlai:
What a wicked world! Children of Adam and Adultery!

Sometimes I shed tears with d kind of women we have in d world today!

A man in my area slept with a married woman just two weeks after her childbirth! The woman left her newborn baby and husband with d excuse of visiting her family only for her to come and sleep with another man!

I asked d man why he did that. He said d woman was her girlfriend b4 she married! Imagine silly excuse! Just two weeks after childbirth!

These are d kinds of women we have today!

MrOlai:
What a wicked world! Children of Adam and Adultery!

Sometimes I shed tears with d kind of women we have in d world today!

A man in my area slept with a married woman just two weeks after her childbirth! The woman left her newborn baby and husband with d excuse of visiting her family only for her to come and sleep with another man!

I asked d man why he did that. He said d woman was her girlfriend b4 she married! Imagine silly excuse! Just two weeks after childbirth!

These are d kinds of women we have today!

coogar:


you cannot put the infidelity of a hubby & a wife on the same plane. let's even assume the hubby has a child outside, he didn't bring it home to claim it belongs to the wifey.

that is exactly what the wife has done here. the deception or the fraud is the key not the few rounds of sėx that led to the conception of the illegitimate child. if there was no baby resulting from the sex congress she had with her boss, there wouldn't have been a divorce.

the fraud is the issue not the infidelity per se. can your husband bring a baby outside and claim it's yours and then deceive you for 15 years that the baby is yours? every father deserves to know his baby. this woman has committed a cardinal sin. her ašs should be thrown out.

freecocoa:

But we don't know that the child isn't the hubby's, that's the bone of contention, the man can't refuse a DNA test and still insist on kicking the woman out.

Even if the child is not his, he should let it go, he started it all as far as I'm concerned, he should have thought of the possibility of his wife getting pregnant by another man and him taking the responsibility,that's why you shouldn't cheat on your wife, it's usually harder on a man than it is for a woman, see it as the price for his sins.

coogar:

you can bet the child belongs to the man you spoke to. the hubby at home is just claiming yeye ownership. the women out there are very devious.

coogar:


she has confessed it belongs to her boss. if she doesn't want the hubby to divorce her then the onus is on her to prove the paternity of the child. i am sure it's not something she would be happy to do cos if it turns out negative, she would be kicked out.



what did he start?
did the man ever admit he had girlfriends outside his marriage or you are kowtowing what a shameless adulteress said in court to excuse her bad behaviour?

the man didn't admit sleeping around - only the woman did. you weren't born yesterday. every adulteress has a stupïd excuse ready to use when they confess or when they are discovered. only the woman confessed to infidelity, the man did not.

freecocoa:
She confessed and thinks it's her boss's because she is dumb and now supposedly born again, hubby doesn't want a DNA test, are you suggesting she 'disobey' him and aggravate him further, so you can castigate her more than you already have? I think not.

Oh please! like a woman(born again)who chose to confess her sins would tell a lie against her hubby in court? Why then did she confess? It's not like she had to afterall.

coogar:


she has confessed to infidelity - the DNA test is an academic point. adultery is a solid ground to file for a divorce, let alone paternity fraud.



why wouldn't she?
what would be her excuse for doing it? of course she must have an excuse for her bad behaviour. at best, her claim is 50-50......but her confession to adultery is 100%. she should be kicked out of that marriage.

freecocoa:
Not when the hubby is guilty of same crime.

What you don't seem to get is, is that, she can't be lying because, she had a choice to keep it sealed, which means, no explanations but chose to tell the truth, based on her new found love for christ/her conscience, so how can she lie, when she could have totally avoided the whole saga?

coogar:

from whose evidence? you would believe the words an adulteress has to say about her hubby? did the husband ever admit to sleeping around?
i know you would come up with this angle - sooner than later, the secrets would still come out one day. it only takes one visit to the USA with the kids to expose her.
this woman just decided to stop postponing the evil days. it could also be because the biological father or someone who knew her story has been threatening to blackmail her. you really think any naija woman would confess cos she met christ?
i have a dinosaur in oshodi - you wanna buy?

coogar:


from whose evidence? you would believe the words an adulteress has to say about her hubby? did the husband ever admit to sleeping around?



i know you would come up with this angle - sooner than later, the secrets would still come out one day. it only takes one visit to the USA with the kids to expose her.

this woman just decided to stop postponing the evil days. it could also be because the biological father or someone who knew her story has been threatening to blackmail her. you really think any naija woman would confess cos she met christ?

i have a dinosaur in oshodi - you wanna buy?

freecocoa:
Duh! I know many women who will, it's like you don't know how much religion can do/has done to people.

coogar:


bwahahahaha....

the only reason any married women would willingly confess to adultery & a possible paternity fraud is because she's suspecting her secrets are about to be leaked.

that bornagain angle won't convince a kid of 5.

freecocoa:
Oya leave na, I just wish you could meet women like the one in the OP

coogar:


God forbid.

freecocoa:
So now you agree there are women like that.

coogar:


as adulteress? yes
as a born again confessing to adultery? no

freecocoa:
Na you sabi.

coogar:


www.nairaland.com/attachments/2211920_ntor_jpeg54d99ac008cd918aa8020fb42146484d

freecocoa:
I wili slap you o, don't try me o.

coogar: