Notyourb1tch:


About the age thing. She did not become 33 in 1 day. It's obvious this thing has been going on for a long time. She has said that she does not want to get married because of age and settle. A lot of women find themselves in this boat and settle for anything because of age and then we start hearing about stories that touch.

Lastly 33 isn't old. It's grown. This type of thing is always said by a man who is in his 40s himself. Smh.

This is so true. I for one will rather not get married than force myself to get married to any tom, dick and Harry just to be married because of age and later you will be having wahala that could have easily been avoided. Marriage is not the be all and end all and unfortunately for some people it is just not in their destiny to get married.

Your last paragraph is so true. A family friend actually had a bunch of women send his family a series of photos from back home so that they could "assess" or look at them and make the best choice for him. His requirements were as follows: under 25 (so she could have kids), good looking, educated, no children as he had none at his grown 37 years on this planet. Let's just say that when his wife finally came here she "grew wings' and the marriage did not last.

What's worse is he was dating a lady who was in her early 30's but he broke it off with her cos he felt she was too old(dude was 37!) and 'Westernised". Karma I tell ya

EZEIGBO1OFIMO:
the way people potray their family and marital life on NL, one would think NL'ers are children of aphrodite and descendants of the godess of love.

You say this yet bash a woman who fits the picture you would wish she painted
What is wrong with you folks?
Must everyone be miserable?

babyosisi:


It's culture

My son for instance is American with a tinge of nigerian
His dad ,my husband, is Nigerian with a tinge of American
Big difference

It is well

Subom1:
This is so true. I for one will rather not get married than force myself to get married to any tom, dick and Harry just to be married because of age and later you will be having wahala that could have easily been avoided. Marriage is not the be all and end all and unfortunately for some people it is just not in their destiny to get married.

Your last paragraph is so true. A family friend actually had a bunch of women send his family a series of photos from back home so that they could "assess" or look at them and make the best choice for him. His requirements were as follows: under 25 (so she could have kids), good looking, educated, no children as he had none at his grown 37 years on this planet. Let's just say that when his wife finally came here she "grew wings' and the marriage did not last.

What's worse is he was dating a lady who was in her early 30's but he broke it off with her cos he felt she was too old(dude was 37!) and 'Westernised". Karma I tell ya

If one truly wants to get married and time is passing by,there are some requirements one will necessarily have to let go to increase ones pool of eligible men.
Certainly not your core values
But there are some qualities and requirements that can be overlooked

babyosisi:


You say this yet bash a woman who fits the picture you would wish she painted
What is wrong with you folks?
Must everyone be miserable?

there is a thin line between misery and reality. The truth was never the sweet ingridient of life. I used to be like the lady in question, bitching and whining how naija girls were useless and yada yada yada. but guess what I realized life is not a mr. nice guy's play house, it a jungle of thorn and thistles. Are all american men good? are all latino men good? are all brazillian men good? are all hausa men good?.... so far she has not come in contact with 10,000 naija men [0.001%] then she has no god dammn fücking right to characterize defame stereotype and misjudge the Nigerian male.
EZEIGBO

bukatyne:


It is well

Let me give you a typical example
When my son gets engaged or married I am certain he won't have any qualms sending flowers to be delivered at her workplace on special occasions.it is a normal thing here
People have florists deliver large bouquet of flowers to their women at the workplace on valentine's day
It is considered ultra romantic
I have never had flowers delivered at work
He had a few times at home.never at work
Will I want that ?
Certainly
I think it's very romantic
Does it change anything?.
Absolutely not!!
I didn't even get hand brought flowers last val but it made no difference to me ,I enjoyed the val day
It's not a measure of love for me and many Nigerian ladies
But to some one born here,it is
I understand where this girl is coming from
Pthe people disagreeing with her are obviously Nigerians brought up majorly in Nigeria,which is where I also belong
Most people raised here would agree with her
There are Nigerians girls that have sworn not to marry Nigerians because of their fathers and other nigerian men they have observed

.

babyosisi:


If one truly wants to get married and time is passing by,there are some requirements one will necessarily have to let go to increase ones pool of eligible men.
Certainly not your core values
But there are some qualities and requirements that can be overlooked

I agree with you as the saying goes 'beggars can't be choosers' but definitely not your core values. I know of a lady who was desperate to get married so she married a man who loves to beat her. So
she over looked this just cos she wanted to get married.

I value my life too much to be someone's permanent boxing bag. Also when a man sees that you are very desperate that's when he will do all the nonsense he wants because he knows you will most likely not leave him Imo

Subom1:
I agree with you as the saying goes 'beggars can't be choosers' but definitely not your core values. I know of a lady who was desperate to get married so she married a man who loves to beat her. So
she over looked this just cos she wanted to get married.

I value my life too much to be someone's permanent boxing bag. Also when a man sees that you are very desperate that's when he will do all the nonsense her wants because he knows you will most likely not leave him Imo

I agree with you
That lady overlooked abuse,that is a no no

My best friend was of the opinion that another lady go ahead and marry a man she didn't even care much for so she can pop out a couple of kids in holy matrimony and if the marriage doesn't work out she gets a divorce
At least no one will accuse her of having kids outside wedlock
I disagreed on that idea totally
That 's deception
How can one go into marriage planning a divorce
But that tells you the pressure many ladies are in regarding this marriage thing and I bet you many are doing this
Sometimes it's not even about the girl
She wants to please people around her and meet societal expectations
That's sad

babyosisi:


I agree with you
That lady overlooked abuse,that is a no no

My best friend was of the opinion that another lady go ahead and marry a man she didn't even care much for so she can pop out a couple of kids in holy matrimony and if the marriage doesn't work out she gets a divorce
At least no one will accuse her of having kids outside wedlock
I disagreed on that idea totally
That 's deception
How can one go into marriage planning a divorce
But that tells you the pressure many ladies are in regarding this marriage thing and I bet you many are doing this
Sometimes it's not even about the girl
She wants to please people around her and meet societal expectations
That's sad

This is so true and it's not the first time I am actually hearing about the above. It's Quite sad that some people think like this. ..

EZEIGBO1OFIMO:

there is a thin line between misery and reality. The truth was never the sweet ingridient of life. I used to be like the lady in question, bitching and whining how naija girls were useless and yada yada yada. but guess what I realized life is not a mr. nice guy's play house, it a jungle of thorn and thistles. Are all american men good? are all latino men good? are all brazillian men good? are all hausa men good?.... so far she has not come in contact with 10,000 naija men [0.001%] then she has no god dammn fücking right to characterize defame stereotype and misjudge the Nigerian male.
EZEIGBO

Cultural differences
There are certainly some cultural adjustments we make when we move to Obodo Oyibo and it is usually easier for women than men
For instance,the way we talk and the voice modulations
You can tell a nigerian who is fresh here or one who has had no influences outside the nigerian community when you hear him speak
I am not talking of accents now
I am talking of tone of voice,facial expression,mannerisms of speech and politeness
Our culture and tone of voice is very aggressive
Many of our folks don't even smile when they are greeting you
And for no fault of ours we adopt that aggressiveness and it works in our place but to survive and thrive here we need to unlearn that habit and soften up.

Do you know there are Nigerians that have lost jobs for that perceived aggressive behavior?
Some have been arrested and charged with making terrorist threats and all they said was the normal Nigerian " I will show you who I am" kind of language which we know means nothing in Nigeria but just gra gra talks

That same behavior is transmitted when they chase women
Let me show you some write ups I read in the past from African American women about African men


*Sorry I couldn't find the blog

Stillfire:


Lol, what's that our statistic again...99.9999% of the men are a disaster. You need a microscope to find the 0.0001% decent few.
Just joking before the men who are on andropause pounce on moi.

I blame her though. With her background, what on earth was she doing dating those types of Nigerian men? Who are the people advising these girls?
To be honest though, I have never met a Nigerian guy ask me if I can cook or any of those nonsense questions. Why? Because the men I deal with mostly have the same social background as mine. These American girls don't know how to sieve the wheat from the chaff, they don't know the difference between a village bred man that managed to reach America and your well bred types. Not saying there are no goats in the well bred type, but at least there's finesse.

Its 98% now.
With FrancisTony and blackleopard., small hope still dey.

babyosisi:


Cultural differences
There are certainly some cultural adjustments we make when we move to Obodo Oyibo and it is usually easier for women than men
For instance,the way we talk and the voice modulations
You can tell a nigerian who is fresh here or one who has had no influences outside the nigerian community when you hear him speak
I am not talking of accents now
I am talking of tone of voice,facial expression,mannerisms of speech and politeness
Our culture and tone of voice is very aggressive
Many of our folks don't even smile when they are greeting you
And for no fault of ours we adopt that aggressiveness and it works in our place but to survive and thrive here we need to unlearn that habit and soften up.

Do you know there are Nigerians that have lost jobs for that perceived aggressive behavior?
Some have been arrested and charged with making terrorist threats and all they said was the normal Nigerian " I will show you who I am" kind of language which we know means nothing in Nigeria but just gra gra talks

That same behavior is transmitted when they chase women
Let me show you some write ups I read in the past from African American women about African men


*Sorry I couldn't find the blog

i am a nigerian, i have a non Nigerian accent, i know more about US financial system than egusi soup, guess what, there are tons and tons of overly westernized Nigerian men like me. Let me give a short example... i have 8 friends who left Nigeria for college, they all attended ivies and elites with strong passion for techie, programming, robotics etc. they all married white girls; when we had a group chat, i asked why they all overlooked black birriful girls; each one of them told the same story, black girls didn't consider them black them, they were accussed of being whitewashed amd white ass kissers; these are guys who i've complained of being overly romantic. What point am i trying to drive here; most black girls [ naija and AA] have an ironical view of relationship, they want a swaggerful thuggish bad boy who'll serve them fresh pârfaits in bed. There are tons of polite calm, nerdy , shy nigetian guys in America; but they never get noticed by AA because instead of being in clubs, bash, or a mega church, they are attending a sci-fi conference, a Quantum-physics symposium and promoting Atheism with their white friends.
EZEIGBO

babyosisi:


We went to my husband dem village meeting the other day,someone had to come to the kitchen to remind us to serve the titled men first
In America o
Imagine that
I was like what a load of bull ( under my breath)
And a lady asked if my husband was a chief,hers was and so were the husbands of two other ladies and what came out of my mouth was chief gbaa kwa oku

How can a nigerian American girl deal with such archaic mindset.
These are men who have lived here donkey years o
If you raise your hand to speak sef,they will bypass you and call a man and why you are speaking the men will cut in if they don't agree
I attend meetings at work,this is a no no
We have a very long way to go
I totally get this girl
Our culture has no respect for women

No respect for women, more respect for money.

50calibre:


This androgenic looking chic thinks she's Queen of sheeba, for fuc*k sake she's 33 years old and 6 ft 3... for a woman, thats a proper giant height, she's as tall as that freak lady from Game of Thrones. Shi*t!!!

I'm not even that tall, I'm 6 ft 1/2 without shoes, but fairly buff so I'd say I'm hardly intimidated by a woman's height but I just don't like the idea of dating a taller chic, it looks weird. I don't want to be walking around with some female Lebron James.

This chic can put African men on blast all she wants but the truth is that most guys won't go anywhere near a chic that tall, it's unfortunate that at 33 she's yet to figure that out, she's proud to say she wears heels, making her anywhere near 6 ft 6 damn!!!!

The earlier this deluded chic drops her lofty standards, the better for her. She should temper that height and age with a meek attitude

Was all this necessary?

T3Amo:
Was all this necessary?

This thread does portrays a true picture of the men she was referring to
Her point has been proven here

T3Amo:
This is not a bashing video but I just found it interesting especially those Nigerians in the Diaspora will definitely relate to this. What do you ladies think? Men do you agree with what she is saying?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KILpmi8f2js



Cc: Idowuogbo, Ilekeh, Subom1, Babyosisi, Cococandy, Efemenaxy, onila, coogar, sagamite, SirShymexx, truckpusher,50caliber, MrsChima

She is entitled to her opinions and it's true about some Nigerian men. We needs to stop acting like we are afraid of the truth.

EZEIGBO1OFIMO:

i am a nigerian, i have a non Nigerian accent, i know more about US financial system than egusi soup, guess what, there are tons and tons of overly westernized Nigerian men like me. Let me give a short example... i have 8 friends who left Nigeria for college, they all attended ivies and elites with strong passion for techie, programming, robotics etc. they all married white girls; when we had a group chat, i asked why they all overlooked black birriful girls; each one of them told the same story, black girls didn't consider them black them, they were accussed of being whitewashed amd white ass kissers; these are guys who i've complained of being overly romantic. What point am i trying to drive here; most black girls [ naija and AA] have an ironical view of relationship, they want a swaggerful thuggish bad boy who'll serve them fresh pârfaits in bed. There are tons of polite calm, nerdy , shy nigetian guys in America; but they never get noticed by AA because instead of being in clubs, bash, or a mega church, they are attending a sci-fi conference, a Quantum-physics symposium and promoting Atheism with their white friends.
EZEIGBO

Let me correct you on some of your points...I agree that many black girls in America including foreign black girls look for that Chris Brown with Cornell West intelligence type guys however...they are outnumbered by girls who want a decent man who has never Ben in jail or gangbanged.

Many intelligent and educated black women in America with good careers are single because of the hype and community portrayed black women to.be. Many black men follow some textbook expectations of what a wife material is and therefore judged the women before getting to know them. Osa is a perfect example of that. She is not the typical chick traditional black men goes after and that's fact. There are some black men who thinks outside box which is good! Sadly...too many of them are so concerned about what society thinks instead if doing what makes them happy.

Your friends chose those white girls to marry because they wanted them. Simple. They do not need to place blame for their decision to marry white girls
..no one can't force you to marrywho you don't want or have a hidden agenda with.

People need to think outside of the box if they want better progression. Real talk.

EZEIGBO1OFIMO:

yeah yeah yeah..... she's right because all Nigerian men are loosers...... including your DAD!!

? how come my dad is nigerian? YOU MADE MY DAY LOOSER !

SirShymexx:


Lol. How was her silly video about me when I'm not in the "Nigerian men" box (the ones she was blaming for lack of suitors)? And when did I start checking drag queens with big bones? If I decide to smack you with the hand of God just for the fun of it right now, you lot are going to start crying everywhere about how abusive and harsh shymmex is. I still don't know what's wrong with you insolent and utterly disrespectful chicken headed biitches on this forum. Like seriously, can't you skets quote folks politely without running ya mouths like blinkered i.diots with no home training by decent parents?

Who gives a shiit about a Nephilim looking heifer and a drag-queen with extremely big bones? I wouldn't even be on the thread, if my handle wasn't tagged. And I watched the video to get a good laugh about culture clash - not all the tripe she was alluding to.

Biitch doesn't even sound like a Nigerian born in America (her accent is a give away). She probably moved there when she was young. Tell her to find a day job. And if anything I've seen on Jerry Springer and Maury is anything to go by, she might be lucky to find a ghetto hoodrat to wife her up. Lawd knows I've seen extremely undesirable fat biitches married to decent looking bums on there (pause! no homo!).

Get a life, biitch and stay off my mentions. The truth is bitter!

first of all u would get smacked back so hard that u wouldn't get up. second she is beautiful. if she is not to u - ITS YOUR OWN PROBLEM!

the one who doesn't have a day job is u- if u r busy, u wouldn't write this 5 pages novel about your bullshit. delete your acc and ill stay away i.diot.

MrsChima:


Let me correct you on some of your points...I agree that many black girls in America including foreign black girls look for that Chris Brown with Cornell West intelligence type guys however...they are outnumbered by girls who want a decent man who has never Ben in jail or gangbanged.

Many intelligent and educated black women in America with good careers are single because of the hype and community portrayed black women to.be. Many black men follow some textbook expectations of what a wife material is and therefore judged the women before getting to know them. Osa is a perfect example of that. She is not the typical chick traditional black men goes after and that's fact. There are some black men who thinks outside box which is good! Sadly...too many of them are so concerned about what society thinks instead if doing what makes them happy.

Your friends chose those white girls to marry because they wanted them. Simple. They do not need to place blame for their decision to marry white girls
..no one can't force you to marrywho you don't want or have a hidden agenda with.

People need to think outside of the box if they want better progression. Real talk.

i agree with you a little anyway

cococandy:


I don't know why that's a funny picture to imagine.

Especially when the igbo man has a bald, shiny head

Is she ready to make adjustments herself?

coolest01:
Especially when the igbo man has a bald, shiny head

It's more the way she said it though.

Come to think of it, the man that taught me how to bake is igbo from owerri and has shiny bald head.

I can really imagine him wearing an apron and baking for his guests.
If he can do it for business why not for his friends?

T3Amo:
Was all this necessary?

lol don't mind him. He just needs some home training. Just 1 week with me and he will be a completely new man

urgh, bid not playing for me

T3Amo:
Modified

Na small pikin dey worry you.. When you live abroad then you'll appreciate a Nigerian man.. Except of you're A THOT...

All I know is that Nigerian men can adapt where ever they are,whether in Europe,Asia...what have u!I'll never ask any lady 'can u cook',it sounds awkward,dunno.Ladies generally should be treated like queens,though,not the Nigerian version of ladies oh.I just hope I find a foreign Lady to treat like a queen.

lordkrato:


Na small pikin dey worry you.. When you live abroad then you'll appreciate a Nigerian man.. Except of you're A THOT...

Well in fact I live abroad now what?

Notyourb1tch:
 I will never understand why society looks down on people who are not married before a certain age. So, because someone hasn't found a life partner by the age of 30 that means their life is worthless? It's sad that people have this mentality. Some people don't want to jump into marriage just for the sake of being married and appeasing other people. Is that wrong?

Clearly, with no apology to any ego, you are nobody's bi....tch baby!

But everything she says is true sha
Our men are tough
Only our women can handle them as they are
Go and see naija men married to AA or Oyibo,they do what you could never believe our men are capable of
They will be cooking and cleaning and baking without complaining
Yes honey
Yes sweetie
Running around serving guests

We went to visit one and he was baking
An Igbo man o,wearing apron and baking and serving guests
Had his wife been nigerian that will never happen
He will sit and be cracking jokes while his wife is cooking and serving

For them to marry Americans they make major adjustments which many of our men are not willing to make

This girl is very correct in her observation

I do DT for my mum cos I was raised so n same for many Naija men. so tell me y wld it so difficult to do such for my boo even in d loo? abegi things are changing oh. all old prejudiced mentality , n bias against women most especially shall pass away.

bukatyne:

It is well

I like your Margaret Thatcher's NL signature.