well dis is tricky

this is an hard one! i guess its a bi of both but i think wen der's love you can later wrk on compatibility. u start share ur interest etc

Compartibilty, compartibilty! compartibility!!

Am also in aameyah's situation. Cos am a 25 YO virgin a(nd a very sexy one,I've got university awards to testify). I feel uncomfortable wen am in relationships cos I think by boyfriends think I'll change my mind. So at some point I get withdrawn cos I cant spend platonic lonely time together, then d relationships fall apart from lack of platonic intimacy. So for people like me, compatibility comes first cos it's easy for guys to fall in love with me as am fun to be with. Then their affection, makes me love them back in d long run.

They are both important as far as I am concerned. But one comes before the other.

Love moves a relationship to the stage of compatibility check! And come to think of it ---- there is nothing called compatibility if checked in-depth. The issue of compatibility that most of us conclude on, is the "peripheral" or "surface".

There is nothing called "Compatibility" anywhere!

It is just "Tolerance" assisted by patience. No too human beings are compatibility - it's just tolerance.

@Menene
I think compatibility is very much different from tolerance.

For me, compatibility is more important.

You can love someone but if you guys are not compatible, girrrrrl, you will be clashing, on daily basis.

Check out the compatibility first and you can build love that lasts forever

True talk.

@aarmeyah

that's a tough one
cos distance can bring out different things in people.
You may just have to wait and see
don't conclude just yet


commit ur heart (_{cos it will hurt if this does not work out)} and ur future to God

Compatibility is vital and Love makes it all the more sweeter

I still want to understand how compatibility comes second when it's directly related to one's personality/psychology. Love on the other hand is an emotion that developes later on in life and still comes and goes. Personality/Psychology on the other hand is embedded early on in life and it remains relatively the same until one dies. So how can compatibility come second?

you have done great by keeping your virginity. both love and compatibility are very pertinent but love is more important why because if you love it will be easy for you to adjust without much resentment
good luck

love and compactibility are actually similar in many ways,except that love may wane ,but compactibility?, no way.im not an expart on this .but if you ask me,i would say,when the chips are down.compactibility will keep your house still warm.good luck.anyanwufny@yahoo.com

compatibility then love!! Believe me!!

Notice how a man calls a girl ugly then after a long while of knowing each other - well he becomes used to her and begins to find her attractive. Compatibility is more important IMHO!!

i don't believe in love until after marriage
so if it does not feel right then it must be wrong ,
marriage is an institution where you can only graduate by death so
don't go into it with the thinking "e go better"
but of a truth if a relationship is not grounded by christian believes then not having sex makes it weird 
so if that's the case then you are in the wrong relationship,
pls no matter what!!!  your doing the right thing no sex before marriage thumbs up

hmmm, its really different strokes for different folks. there's alot to learn from answers and there's a tip to be picked out from all posts(well, most anyway).

Statement 1: ''We're compatible because we're in love''.

Statement 2: ''I love you because we're compatible''.


Statement 1: Even saying it out loud sounds all wrong. It makes no sense whatsoever. When building, you start from the foundation,which has to run pretty deep. Deep foundation paves way for lasting love.  .  .deep foundation arises from a complete understanding and acceptance,with as little irritations as possible mind you, of another human being. In simpler terms, true friendship. Compatibility = True friendship = basic foundation for lasting love.

You see,love is like a garden. Good soil first. Then variety of plants to keep it fresh and attractive. Boring is a definite N-O. Then water and fertilizers so it stays fresh and attractive. Pay attention. Another thing people forget.  .  .equally as important as water and fertilizers is WEEDS. They share illegally with your lovely flowers, then gradually overcome and kill them. Gotta keep the weeds out.
Weeds are those little things your spouse does that pisses you off like crazy, but you keep telling yourself ''love conquers all'' even though your patience is  slowly running out and your happiness is dying. Before you know it, you're simply enduring in the name of ''love''. Fact is, those weeds have over-powered the beautiful flowers. Killed love. Simple. 'Cause though some weeds are manageable, others are just bitches, I mean, impossible to control and eliminate.
You take 'em out today, but tomorrow they are right back stronger and better. Those bitchy weeds come with the 'not compatible' package.
Compatibility ensures the bitchy weeds don't come into the pretty picture at all. Just the manageable ones. You two are so in sync that when diferences come up, they are minor and less stressful (emotionally,mentally,physically etc etc) to deal with. Now why would any right thinking person throw that advantage away??
Love is only blind when you choose to close your eyes.

    Statement 2: Need I say anything more? In other words.  .  .I love you because you are my best friend, the one I blend perfectly with, the one that understands me best.  .  .or as most will say, ''my better half'' or ''the one who completes me'' (classic ).
    When you are compatible, 50% of the work is already done with a fat chance of achieving 100. When you're not, you're starting from scratch with zero guarantees. As they say.  .  .vote choose wisely.
    Why do we even love? Who knows? But we sure want to be with the one that makes giving out your heart, opening yourself, everything, easy and gives us happiness doing it. Compatibility makes that happen.
    You love,okay. Heck, we all love. But why is yours different,special? Because of that deep friendship that stems from compatibility. Now that makes love last. That's what makes the kind of love that sees you as a guy not bothered about sexing the same woman for the next 80 years. The kind of love that makes you as a woman smile that special smile every time you hear his name,even after 80 years.
    Now ain't that worth it!!


    Of course you get my point by now.  .  .Compatibility first, love second. Why put love first when it could die without compatibility? Better safe than sorry. If you're thinking long term, better play smart.
    Who knows DeBarge? Old school singer. ''The heart is not so smart''.

   Now is anybody bringing up the 'love you,need you' angle? As in 'be with the one who says ''I need you because I love you'', not the one who says ''I love you because I need you''.
    True.  .  .so let's dissect the one you should be with,see why it's true.
''I need you because I love you because you make me happy because being with you,loving you is so easy without unnecessary drama because we have built upon compatibility and perfected it.  .  .makes me never wanna stop loving you.''
   Now who doesn't want to hear that!!

   Also for those that will ask me ''which type of compatibility?''.  .  .I am talking emotional compatibility. Lemme explain why.  .  .
Emotions stem from the soul.  .  .the soul is the bedrock of you as a human being. Even God and Lucifer never joke with the soul.  .  .why should you? Now when you find the one you are emotionally compatible with, your soul mate.  .  .you would put your butt into making the sexual aspect, the psychological aspect and whatever else aspect there is WORK. Compatibility is the foundation, then love makes sure you don't let that foundation go to waste.

Men only think long term about women that they are emotionally attracted to. Women.  .  .we are emotion itself Need I say more?

!!!!