He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me - Romance - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me (6299 Views)
Ladies Can You Date A Guy Shorter Than You / Ladies, Can U Marry A Man That Is Shorter Than You? / Can You Marry A Man Shorter Than You? (2) (3) (4)
| He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by sapphire19: 7:45pm On Feb 09, 2009 |
this guy proposed to me and he's 12 years older. i am 22 and he's 34. i love him although i am not so free with him., i mean, i'm a little scared of him. my folks dont think it will work out. my elder sister hates his height. my parents dont like his rush. he's in a hurry to get married to me. he wants marriage in 5months time. i dont know what to do now. |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by Cristalz(f): 8:30pm On Feb 09, 2009 |
Unattractive scenario. . . Why is he scary? |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by sapphire19: 8:42pm On Feb 09, 2009 |
maybe bc i feel so small when i'm with him. he's a bank manager and i just my degree programme. but i know i love him |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by Nobody: 8:45pm On Feb 09, 2009 |
3 problems: 1. u're not free with him - every woman shld NOT marry a man they do not feel 100% free with no matter his level of achievement. 2. He's rushing you. 3. your family know something u're too blind to see. Trust them. |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by nana(f): 8:47pm On Feb 09, 2009 |
davidylan:I Concur |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by Cristalz(f): 8:55pm On Feb 09, 2009 |
@poster Aww. . .scary is understandable. More like intimidating,right? But David's right. If you can't be free around him,relate with him like you would your best friend( with the respect of course), then perhaps you should reconsider. Personally, I'm thinking. . .girl he's nearly 40! And you're not even 25. Soon you'll want to go see Beyonce live in concert while he'll prefer to sit alone on the back porch and meditate on Jim Reeves' ''never grow old,never grow old,in the land where we'll never grow old'' . . . But if it's what makes you happy and you're absolutely sure,go for it. You won't be the first to get married to a guy 12 years older and shorter,and you won't be the last. |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by eyonigger(m): 12:04am On Feb 10, 2009 |
You only love his cash. Be sincere and we'll tell u how to go about it. |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by fs(f): 12:41am On Feb 10, 2009 |
I'm going to agree with your folks on this one. I do believe you more in love with his status. What do you mean by you know you love him? and yet in the same breath are scared of him and not free around him? What does love mean to you? There's a difference between love, lust, infatuation and everything in between. You're 22, there's no rush to get married. He's rushing because he probably feels it's time for him. Doesn't mean it's time for you. Personally, I couldn't date someone that much older than me. How long have you even dated? It seems many Nigerians fall "in love" so quickly. I don't buy it. |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by Outstrip(f): 12:55am On Feb 10, 2009 |
If only we listen to that inner voice sometimes. You cannot rush these kinds of decisions.Your parents fears are valid |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by Orimili(m): 2:25am On Feb 10, 2009 |
The definition of "love" has definitely been screwed around with over the years. OP has no real feelings for this man, and should abandon the the thought of a wedding with him. Poster: Obviously, there are things you don't like about him, such as his height (and age, since you brought that up). The man probably has money, and you are probably only attracted to him for that reason. It seems that in this forum, feelings of "love" in a relationship is directly proportional to the amount of money that the spouse has. There are already multiple things you don't like about him, and If you marry him, things are not going to magically get better. If I were you, I would not accept this man's hand in marriage, but it's your choice and not mine. |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by Hotstepper(f): 2:39am On Feb 10, 2009 |
that's the thing with Naija gurls in Naija that I noticed now, all these gurls marrying people twice their age, 2 me, its very irritation, wat was he doing at 35 and not married? u r intimidated by both his age and career so why r u dere, da cash? my dear, think twice b4 u enter cuz dat he is ready does not mean u should venture |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by Lagosboy: 1:12pm On Feb 10, 2009 |
davidylan: Haah pastor Dafidi i follow u reach here . I do concur with you though for the first time!!! |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by keyne(f): 1:43pm On Feb 10, 2009 |
mayb he nids promotion n he has to get married to attain it.if u r scared,baby rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnn 1 Like |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by clemcykul(f): 1:58pm On Feb 10, 2009 |
the truth is that you both are incompartible, get out of the affair before its too late, so you dont end up admiring another young dude outside your matrimonial cage. 1 Like |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by quadrillio(m): 2:27pm On Feb 10, 2009 |
run run run |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by Ben13: 2:38pm On Feb 10, 2009 |
clemcykul:that is the word  |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by seyibrown(f): 2:54pm On Feb 10, 2009 |
Look deep inside your heart Do you love him?If you do, his age and height won't be a problem. About not being free with him, you probably still need more time to get used to him,to get used to the fact that he is shorter and older than 'the man of your dreams'. He probably loves you. Ask him to give you more time to prepare for marriage. He will wait if he loves you. If after searching your heart, you think you can never ever come to terms with him being older and 'not tall', please don't waste his time. Tell him you are not ready and that you might need another 5 years to be 'ready' and slowly distance yourself from him. PLEASE NEVER TELL HIM HE IS TOO SHORT FOR YOUR IDEAL MAN! DON'T 'TOUCH' HIS EGO! IT'LL KILL HIM! |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by manakims: 3:14pm On Feb 10, 2009 |
my advice to u is pray to God.HE is only one that can not lead you astray. |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by oluwdashmi(f): 3:17pm On Feb 10, 2009 |
3 problems: I totally agree with David. But as for his age, it depends on you. As for me, the serious guys that have ever toasted me are between 7-15 years older and I like it. You may be thinking he is rushing u cos of his age but ur family members are seeing it frm another angle. God help you |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by Nobody: 3:55pm On Feb 10, 2009 |
you dont love him, u are just confused if he's in a hurry to get married that's his problem u still have a lot of time on ur hands the fact that he's a bank manager doesnt make him a perfect match its just a position it doesnt say anything of his character or personality better tell him to slow his roll o!! |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by Kx: 4:06pm On Feb 10, 2009 |
"this guy proposed to me and he's 12 years older. i am 22 and he's 34. i love him although i am not so free with him., i mean, i'm a little scared of him. my folks dont think it will work out. my elder sister hates his height. my parents dont like his rush. he's in a hurry to get married to me" "This guy"-does not indicate mutual respect and compatibility with the man,"i love him although i'm a little scared of him" means am in this for the money and he knows thats my motive,"my folks dont think it will work out" this confirms my believe that your parents understand both of you are in it for all reasons but love,"he's in a hurry to get married to me" indicates that the 2 of u dont even communicate freely and reach a consensus b4 deciding what to do. All these shows that you both dont sincerely love each other for love. You have all the ingredients for a failed marriage neatly presented by u in just one sentence. Choose to be happy or to marry "money" and face the consequences. |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by kemisuga(f): 4:23pm On Feb 10, 2009 |
LOve does not see age nor height. GOD HELP YOU. Wish you goodluck. |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by DeepSoul(f): 4:40pm On Feb 10, 2009 |
Both guys I dated were 10 and 8yrs older than me. I think that's a healthy gap. I'm in my early twenties. Cant date a guy the same age. Men can be immature you know |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by otukpo(f): 4:42pm On Feb 10, 2009 |
Ask yourself this question; If this man is not a bank manager and probably has money, would you agree to spend the rest of ur life with him as a wife?. Be sincere with urslf about the answer. |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by fs(f): 4:44pm On Feb 10, 2009 |
Sure Deep Soul. Men can be immature, I understand that. Personally for me, the gap you mentioned is too much. But that's for me. Anyone can do whatever they please. Luckily for me, I found a mature guy around my age. I don't even think they are that scarce as I know quite a few. Immature people (men and women) in general annoy me so I tend to stay away from them and end up having more like minded people around me. |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by daduke2k(m): 4:54pm On Feb 10, 2009 |
oluwdashmi:what are u doin on this forum u no say ur age mate no dey this forum not to talk of giving advice to sweet safy vamose. nne run |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by sapphire19: 5:58pm On Feb 10, 2009 |
thank you so much for your advice. i want to correct an impression. i dont love him bc of his money. i'm very comfortable. he's been trying to ask me out for about yrs and i had cleverly avoided him. i met him through my former neighbour. recently, my family moved into a new apartment and we now live close to him. his house is just a stone throw away from mine. so it's easy for him to see me. i think what made me fall in love with him is his persistence. he said he's waited for me for these 2yrs and now, it's just like God is making it work for him by bringing me close to his house. he stops by everyday after work to see me b4 driving to his house. he talks abt the marriage too much. he's not ready to be a friend first but i feel we'd be good friends after marriage. i think he's in a big rush bc of pressure from his family |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by UNLEASHED(m): 6:06pm On Feb 10, 2009 |
You're scared of him and you love him  |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by Feelitx(m): 6:08pm On Feb 10, 2009 |
You don't need to accept anybody,s standards for your man. Get closer to this man and get to know him.Any man who patiently waits for you that long must love you. We men don't bite.I wish you good luck. |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by ayobase(m): 7:54pm On Feb 10, 2009 |
there must be money/fortune attached!!! |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by Omolola1(f): 8:04pm On Feb 10, 2009 |
@ poster if you love him, go ahead and marry him  |
| Re: He's 12 Years Older Than Me And He's Shorter Than Me by Uwaje: 9:25pm On Feb 10, 2009 |
so because she is a woman and hes a man and he has MONEY shes only there for the money?if you flip the script and its the woman with the money, what will you people say? @ poster,I think he is only rushing because hes not getting any younger, 34 is in my opinion is too old to not be married with children, so maybe hes feelin the pressure from his fam. about his height: if you feel like the jolly green giant next to him  then, u might want to rethink that idk, but one thing i can say is my mother did ONE thing right by marrying my dad, hes tall and we got his height |
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