Here is my story, my girl had a daughter for me who is almost 2 yrs old presently. Becus of d distance of my place of work, I work in ondo while she lives in benin. So d distance is really affectin my bondin wit my daughter and d mom. She is still in sch and d parents don't even alllow her come pay visit to me. Not once since 2 years , due to d nature of my job I hardly hve time to come to benin. And my son is seein me as a stranger. So I decieded to approach my girls parents last year so that I can jst pay her bride price and do little ceremony, d parent refused on d ground dat they will not subscribe to small marriage and dat I must do it big to some standard, and also dat their duaghter must finish her schling first before they give her out for marriage.

My chanllege now is dat I don't have mony to do that marriage d way d parents want, I hv even told dem dat I jst wnt to pay bride price and do court registry. They are institing on White wedding And I don't have dat money . Presently d distance is really tearing my relationship apart and my girl is nt ready to take a stand for wht she wnt. She will be leavin sch dis year. Wht d parents are saying is dat I should wait till I hv mony for D type of marriage de wnt. Bt I jst can't wait anymore. I feel my girl does nt love me enough to counter or confront d parents decisions. Pls I need advise on wht to do .

please don't allow those ppl to push u into anything unlawful

pray about it God will help u out

d gal should b free to visit u with the baby at any time

talk to them about that

I wish u all d best

Hmmm...people sha? If they allow you to pay bride price and do court registry, what next? Why don't you face your life and make the money to give your child the type of life he deserves instead of grobbling on the floor for scraps? You might not know it but the parents are definitely doing you a lot of good... Unless perhaps the three of you want to drink garri and epa morning and night...then enjoy the ride!!!

JayneStephanie:
Hmmm...people sha? If they allow you to pay bride price and do court registry, what next? Why don't you face your life and make the money to give your child the type of life he deserves instead of grobbling on the floor for scraps? You might not know it but the parents are definitely doing you a lot of good... Unless perhaps the three of you want to drink garri and epa morning and night...then enjoy the ride!!!

for d record if I a can take. Care of my duaghter and d mom as every average man will do ok. And beside I must nt build masion or buy a hummer jeep before I get. Married

Climaths:
for d record if I a can take. Care of my duaghter and d mom as every average man will do ok. And beside I must nt build masion or buy a hummer jeep before I get. Married

must great men all hv humble beginning

...

JayneStephanie:


I believe average here then depends on the yardstick with which you are measuring...cos I also believe every average guy that wants to get married should be able to afford a wedding... And nobody said you should build a mansion... all they ask is that you make an honorable girl of their daughter, especially after you got her pregnant, by doing what is right by her and marrying her the way normal people are married. If you just pay bride price and the girl follows you home, all things being equal, you are not even going to go ahead with the court marriage. And even if you do, you will probably never ever consider a white wedding,,,and to all and sundry, the only thing that happened is that after the girl gave birth for you, she didn't have any other option but to pack her bags and come and meet you. So stop wasting time already and go and make money and marry that girl normally...else you will still be there wasting time and she will give you her wedding IV...

noted madam, but is not a must dat I must get married to her.

JayneStephanie:


So you know that? Why are you now complaining??

but am jst. Considering if I will nt be blame if. I don't marry her

OP just play a stinker on them. Dont call or communicate with them for some time. Then out of the blues, let your woman hear that you are about to marry another woman. She will transport herself to beg you to take her back.

have u been playing ur role as a father to ur daughter? play ur fatherly role very well and watch everything put in place

Inshort we Nigerians are so obsessed with money.... Am very sure when a rich guy comes for her hand in marriage ... Ur gal will port ASAP ... I will suggest u to visit ur child maybe ones in 2weeks ... Take him out have fun.... with time he will get familiar with u ... Don't give a fvvck abt the mama.... U heard right .... Don't give a flying fvvck about hEr .... Just kill any feelings u got for her ....

ion wanna b a relationship ruiner by telling u 2 leave ha+m a female also nd wn't welcome samefin..buh sinc ur nt sure mayb she still luv as much as u'll lyk anymore y dn't u jst sit ha down n talk things out so dah u cn knw wah steps 2 take..dahs my own piece of advice 4 u..sowi if ah ws being immature,m inexperienced in dah aspect..jah will lead u thru..

justified19:
have u been playing ur role as a father to ur daughter? play ur fatherly role very well and watch everything put in place

yes I have been givin my girl money constantly on a monthly basis for my duaghter upkeep and also I have place my girl on a salary monthly for her up keep.

Maybe you are presenting your wedding plans to your in laws in a disrespectful manner which is why they refused your idea of small ceremony.

andromida:


Maybe you are presenting your wedding plans to your in laws in a disrespectful manner which is why they refused your idea of small ceremony.

how do. Mean madam dat am presenting it in a disrespectful manner, try to explain pls

Climaths:
Here is my story, my girl had a daughter for me who is almost 2 yrs old presently. Becus of d distance of my place of work, I work in ondo while she lives in benin. So d distance is really affectin my bondin wit my daughter and d mom. She is still in sch and d parents don't even alllow her come pay visit to me. Not once since 2 years , due to d nature of my job I hardly hve time to come to benin. And my son is seein me as a stranger. So I decieded to approach my girls parents last year so that I can jst pay her bride price and do little ceremony, d parent refused on d ground dat they will not subscribe to small marriage and dat I must do it big to some standard, and also dat their duaghter must finish her schling first before they give her out for marriage.
My chanllege now is dat I don't have mony to do that marriage d way d parents want, I hv even told dem dat I jst wnt to pay bride price and do court registry. They are institing on White wedding And I don't have dat money . Presently d distance is really tearing my relationship apart and my girl is nt ready to take a stand for wht she wnt. She will be leavin sch dis year. Wht d parents are saying is dat I should wait till I hv mony for D type of marriage de wnt. Bt I jst can't wait anymore. I feel my girl does nt love me enough to counter or confront d parents decisions. Pls I need advise on wht to do .

I am a bini boy and I know Bini parents listen to their daughters in situations like this.... So if that lady really wants to be with you, this is not an issue. All she has to do is talk to her parents and they will soccumb....

Its between you and ur lady not her family.

Does she want to be with you?

Seems your in Law don't know the difference between Marriage and wedding ceremony....

publicenemy:


I am a bini boy and I know Bini parents listen to their daughters in situations like this.... So if that lady really wants to be with you, this is not an issue. All she has to do is talk to her parents and they will soccumb....

Its between you and ur lady not her family.

Does she want to be with you?

she have Tired talking to her parents bt the Dad being a pastor jst want white wedding wit ceremony. And he is nt ready to listen otherwise

Climaths:
how do. Mean madam dat am presenting it in a disrespectful manner, try to explain pls

This is just a guess - could be they feel like because their daughter already has a child for you, you want to do one small low ceremony that does not celebrate her. Like you feel they will accept whatever you offer just because she has a child for you and they are in a hurry to package her off.

andromida:


This is just a guess - could be they feel like because their daughter already has a child for you, you want to do one small low ceremony that does not celebrate her. Like you feel they will accept whatever you offer just because she has a child for you and they are in a hurry to package her off.

u are very correct. That Is wht they feel, bt my intentions are for the good of my girl. I may not have d rite money bt I really do mean well for her

Climaths:
u are very correct. That Is wht they feel, bt my intentions are for the good of my girl. I may not have d rite money bt I really do mean well for her

So maybe you can get them to see that all you want is your family together and you mean no disrespect to them or their daughter let them see you have her best interest at heart like give them a plan of the small ceremony you have in mind I suggest you expand the small a bit and not use the word "small ceremony" when talking to them.

andromida:


So maybe you can get them to see that all you want is your family together and you mean no disrespect to them or their daughter let them see you have her best interest at heart like give them a plan of the small ceremony you have in mind I suggest you expand the small a bit and not use the word "small ceremony" when talking to them.

tanks so much

Climaths:
tanks so much

You welcome.