tearoses:


Oga drop your post and move on
No need to call anyone names
You dont like it when people do same to you

I don't have a problem if people don't mention my moniker.

I didn't mention yours, check the next moniker.

FrancisTony:

I don't have a problem if people don't mention my moniker.

I didn't mention yours, check the next moniker.

You didnt have to
You called people who castigated the woman hypocrites
I happened to castigate the woman . .
Do you know me?

FrancisTony:
Please, if she's supporting her husband for a right course, I don't see a problem with that.

As for hypocrites castigating the woman, I'm sure it'd have been a different whole post if husband was supporting his wife in a matter that's between wife and her mother.

TRASH!!!

Nah, the wife needs to shut the hell up! As long as her MIL did not threaten the life of her husband, why is she "putting her mouth" in their quarrel/argument??

The fight is between a mother and son, even if she supports her husband, let her do it in private not in front of his mother. That is a dumb move on her part. People need to know when to mind their business

In fact, immediately the argument started, she should have found her way out of there in seconds. If I am having an argument with my mom, I would expect my husband to shut the hell up! Did anyone solicit his opinion?? Even if I did, he should know better and stay the fvck out of it.

If two of my closest friends are arguing, I do not defend or support anyone. I mind my own business and let them resolve it themselves. If I get involved, it is only to placate them or prevent something bad from happening. The relationship between a mother and a son is even more close and serious, who does the wife think she is?? She needs to know her place in that relationship; if I were the MIL, I would be extremely offended.

Shollypopzz:


Nah, the wife needs to shut the hell up! As long as her MIL did not threaten the life of her husband, why is she "putting her mouth" in their quarrel/argument??

The fight is between a mother and son, even if she supports her husband, let her do it in private not in front of his mother. That is a dumb move on her part. People need to know when to mind their business

In fact, immediately the argument started, she should have found her way out of there in seconds. If I am having an argument with my mom, I would expect my husband to shut the hell up! Did anyone solicit his opinion?? Even if I did, he should know better and stay the fvck out of it.

If two of my closest friends are arguing, I do not defend or support anyone. I mind my own business and let them resolve it themselves. If I get involved, it is only to placate them and prevent something bad from happening. The relationship between a mother and a son is even more close and serious, who does the wife think she is?? She needs to know her place in that relationship; if I were the MIL, I would be extremely offended.

But you should know what the post(s) of some of these frustrated housewives would be like assuming the whole sh1t is reversed.

They should have balanced their post like yours not making it look one-sided.

Its some frustrated housewives now

Last week it was the feminists turn to get bashed
The week before it was Nl male sissys
This week its some frustrated housewives


Dramaland!!!

tearoses:
Its some frustrated housewives now

Last week it was the feminists turn to get bashed
The week before it was Nl male sissys
This week its some frustrated housewives


Dramaland!!!

Are you bored?? It is seems like you are begging for war for no legit reason.

If you are bored, I can recommend good tv-shows for you to watch.

Shollypopzz:


Are you bored?? It is seems like you are begging for war for no legit reason.

If you are bored, I can recommend good tv-shows for you to watch.

That will be nice

FrancisTony:

But you should know what the post(s) of some of these frustrated housewives would be like assuming the whole sh1t is reversed.

They should have balanced their post like yours not making it look one-sided.

See, I am a big fan of yours but in this thread, no one needed to balance their post. The op asked a question and they answered. If you disagreed with a post, you quote the poster and state why.

You did not nothing wrong by calling out people on their hypocrisy. You mentioned NO one's moniker but as the saying goes, "A hit dog will holla". If the shoe fits, let them wear it.

Shollypopzz:


See, I am a big fan of yours but in this thread, no one needed to balance their post. The op asked a question and they answered. If you disagreed with a post, you quote the poster and state why.

You did not nothing wrong by calling out people on their hypocrisy. You mentioned NO one's moniker but as the saying goes, "A hit dog will holla". If the shoe fits, let them wear it

Just like she called the woman, Elenu razor, I wonder who it fits now.

Orisirisi!

tearoses:


That will be nice

House of Cards; Sons of Anarchy; Vikings; Banshee; Blacklist; A new Season of Silicon Valley and Hannibal is out.

Shollypopzz:


House of Cards; Sons of Anarchy; Vikings; Banshee; Blacklist; A new Season of Silicon Valley and Hannibal is out.

Thank you
Ive watched a couple of episodes of House of Cards
Most of the others sound scary though
You want me to have nightmares abi?

FrancisTony:

Just like she called the woman, Elenu razor, I wonder who it fits now.

Orisirisi!

FrancisTony, we have never engaged
Let this be the first and the last
The forum is big enough
I was talking about the topic raised by the Op, you were talking to the hypocrites who were talking about the topic raised by the OP
Lets move on shall we.

tearoses:


Thank you
Ive watched a couple of episodes of House of Cards
Most of the others sound scary though
You want me to have nightmares abi?

I don't think any of those shows can be classified as horror. (Except Hannibal) Trust me they are good shows, did you like House of Cards?

You can also try Rome or Breaking Bad (this one has a slow start).

Shollypopzz:


I don't think any of those shows can be classified as horror. (Except Hannibal) Trust me they are good shows, did you like House of Cards?

You can also try Rome or Breaking Bad (this one has a slow start).

I liked the house of cards.
I will look up the others you listed.
I seem not move out of my comfort zone, but its quite limiting as ive watched almost all the episodes.
You know the usual NCIS, CSI, 24, Law & Order, Boston Legal, House ish
Thanks

FrancisTony:
Please, if she's supporting her husband for a right course, I don't see a problem with that.

As for hypocrites castigating the woman, I'm sure it'd have been a different whole post if husband was supporting his wife in a matter that's between wife and her mother.

TRASH!!!

So you would see your wife and her mom fighting and go pick a side?

The options are
1. Ignore both of them and leave the scene
2. Beg both of them and make peace
3. Take your wife out of the place into another place and go beg the MIL

So if your the husband beat his mom, the wife too would join to beat the mother?

my opinion is dat d wife should have gone 2 luk 4 a bed 2 lay on & rest her head allowing d mother & son to display & wen dey r tired wil rest deir case

sweetorgasm:
she was only defending the love of her life

Lol, what harm could a mum do to her able bodied son that he wouldn't be able to handle by himself , unless she's a witch, has a gun or trying to stab him which are all extreme cases... And you know how sensitive all these our old parents are. Any small thing they take offense... Who has time for their petty wahala?
It's just like settling a fight between husband and wife, and tomorrow both husband and wife would turn against you the so called mediator.

No!
It shows she lacks home training!
In matters concerning a MOTHER and HER CHILDREN, wives please BUTT-OUT!!!!!

Blood is always thicker!

sweetorgasm:
There is a chaos going on now in a family whereby a man's mom is not in talking terms with her son's wife because she defended the son when the mother and the son were quarelling about something. "now half of the family said the wife did nothing wrong while the other said the wife should not have intervened. "so did the wife did wrong by supporting the husband?

I am commenting without reading any of the other comments so I give an unbiased response
First of all no wise woman meddles in affairs between her husband and his people,be it mom,dad,sisters,brothers etc
You stay neutral always
When the issue is about another of the husband's family,you voice your opinion in the bedroom especially when you are not asked openly for an opinion.
Blood is thicker than water
The wife is water the mom and son have blood between them
Mom and son or siblings will eventually settle and forgive each other,it always ends that way for the most part and the wife who opened her mouth like ukpaka becomes the evil one

These younger wives need to learn this quickly
Some of us learned it the hard way,others learned it by observing events
You should never be quick to say anything bad about even the one everyone is calling a bad name and in an argument or quarrel,you stay completely neutral.
Always
If they are arguing in the parlour,you enter bedroom and turn on African magic begin watch movie
When he has argued enough and comes into the bedroom you calm him down and stroke his ego if mama hurt him by her words
That is the rule you must follow
Inlaw business requires a lot of diplomacy and a trailer load of commonsense

babyosisi:


I am commenting without reading any of the other comments so I give an unbiased response
First of all no wise woman meddles in affairs between her husband and his people,be it mom,dad,sisters,brothers etc
You stay neutral always
When the issue is about another of the husband's family,you voice your opinion in the bedroom especially when you are not asked openly for an opinion.
Blood is thicker than water
The wife is water the mom and son have blood between them
Mom and son or siblings will eventually settle and forgive each other,it always ends that way for the most part and the wife who opened her mouth like ukpaka becomes the evil one

These younger wives need to learn this quickly
Some of us learned it the hard way,others learned it by observing events
You should never be quick to say anything bad about even the one everyone is calling a bad name and in an argument or quarrel,you stay completely neutral.
Always
If they are arguing in the parlour,you enter bedroom and turn on African magic begin watch movie
When he has argued enough and comes into the bedroom you calm him down and stroke his ego if mama hurt him by her words
That is the rule you must follow
Inlaw business requires a lot of diplomacy and a trailer load of commonsense

God bless you ma'am
I was ticking nearly every line of your post.

A distant cousin of mine had an issue with his siblings and his parents and he stopped talking to them.
His wife too stopped talking to everyone during that period and she went on to ignore some older members of the family at a party.
The matter was resolved, but the relationship between the family and the wife, never really recovered after that even though they get on with their brother and son and its like nothing happened.

It takes 2 to fight and like a fire, when oxygen is removed, the fire dies.
What a wife does is to try and either douse the fire or call for help. She doesnt add fuel to a raging fire. She will suffer burns too.

What a wise woman does is to know how to sooth and calm her husband in her bedroom when he is angry.

The man should do same too and know how to douse tension, especially in family matters.
Anytime you hear my hubby saying "suuru le ma ni" " Olorun a gba akoso" "E o ni binu si" on the phone, I know that someone is reporting someone somewhere to him

tearoses:


God bless you ma'am
I was ticking nearly every line of your post.

A distant cousin of mine had an issue with his siblings and his parents and he stopped talking to them.
His wife too stopped talking to everyone during that period and she went on to ignore some older members of the family at a party.
The matter was resolved, but the relationship between the family and the wife, never really recovered after that even though they get on with their brother and son and its like nothing happened.

It takes 2 to fight and like a fire, when oxygen is removed, the fire dies.
What a wife does is to try and either douse the fire or call for help. She doesnt add fuel to a raging fire. She will suffer burns too.

What a wise woman does is to know how to sooth and calm her husband in her bedroom when he is angry.

The man should do same too and know how to douse tension, especially in family matters.
Anytime you hear my hubby saying "suuru le ma ni" " Olorun a gba akoso" "E o ni binu si" on the phone, I know that someone is reporting someone somewhere to him

Gbam!
I had some brother and sis inlaw that were angry at each other and some not speaking to others ,my husband tried to settle them and immediately the others got angry with him ,it was now him and one of his siblings on one side,three others on the other side,I knew the full gist and nobody heard pim from my mouth.
I observed one that refused to hug my hubby at an event,if you see how I hugged her eh
CHineke nna
I even took her into my bedroom to chat privately and give her the gifts I got her
even if his sister calls him a goat,it's not my fight ,it will pass.
I was running around smiling,serving everybody fried meat and rice, despite the fact that I noticed some were not making eye contacts with the others.
Fast forward,they have all sorted out their wahala and chatting heartily on their phone calls again
Imagine if I had ignored the ones that ignored and actually embarrassed my hubby by not acknowledging him at this meeting

sweetorgasm:
There is a chaos going on now in a family whereby a man's mom is not in talking terms with her son's wife because she defended the son when the mother and the son were quarelling about something. "now half of the family said the wife did nothing wrong while the other said the wife should not have intervened. "so did the wife did wrong by supporting the husband?

the wise woman would calm both sides and not intervene...

babyosisi:



Gbam!
I had some brother and sis inlaw that were angry at each other and some not speaking to others ,my husband tried to settle them and immediately the others got angry with him ,it was now him and one of his siblings on one side,three others on the other side,I knew the full gist and nobody heard pim from my mouth.
I observed one that refused to hug my hubby at an event,if you see how I hugged her eh
CHineke nna
I even took her into my bedroom to chat privately and give her the gifts I got her
even if his sister calls him a goat,it's not my fight ,it will pass.
I was running around smiling,serving everybody fried meat and rice, despite the fact that I noticed some were not making eye contacts with the others.
Fast forward,they have all sorted out their wahala and chatting heartily on their phone calls again
Imagine if I had ignored the ones that ignored and actually embarrassed my hubby by not acknowledging him at this meeting

A woman in support of her husband can never be said to have done the wrong thing
They are and should always be a team
The question now is whether she should voice out her support or not and under what circumstances
It is strictly her prerogative to choose when to be silent and whom to be silent with
One cap does not fit all in marriage issues

If she thinks voicing out her position is the best decision under the circumstance and considering the people involved, she cannot be faulted, she alone wears the cap.

As much as I believe in diplomacy, it doesn't work in every situation nor with everybody
Some people continue to take advantage of you or your loved ones as long as you remain diplomatic with them
For people who are very choleric and domineering like the mother-in-law in the OP's post, sometimes, it is in one's best interest to take a position and make it known
In fact, for people like that, your neural position sef is offensive to her, she will call you aside to ensure you convince your husband to accede to her request, and when it doesn't happen, wahala for your head so what gives
A mil who will start keeping malice with her dil for supporting her son tells a lot about her person

Sometimes, it's just better to let people know your position early, initially, they will fight you, stereotype you as the wife who always supports her husband, but then, they lower their expectations of you and it saves you a lot of future headache.

Kimoni:


A woman in support of her husband can never be said to have done the wrong thing
They are and should always be a team
The question now is whether she should voice out her support or not and under what circumstances
It is strictly her prerogative to choose when to be silent and whom to be silent with
One cap does not fit all in marriage issues

If she thinks voicing out her position is the best decision under the circumstance and considering the people involved, she cannot be faulted, she alone wears the cap.

As much as I believe in diplomacy, it doesn't work in every situation nor with everybody
Some people continue to take advantage of you or your loved ones as long as you remain diplomatic with them
For people who are very choleric and domineering like the mother-in-law in the OP's post, sometimes, it is in one's best interest to take a position and make it known
In fact, for people like that, your neural position sef is offensive to her, she will call you aside to ensure you convince your husband to accede to her request, and when it doesn't happen, wahala for your head so what gives
A mil who will start keeping malice with her dil for supporting her son tells a lot about her person

Sometimes, it's just better to let people know your position early, initially, they will fight you, stereotype you as the wife who always supports her husband, but then, they lower their expectations of you and it saves you a lot of future headache.

What I presented is the rule, you have given the exception which I admit exists.
Never get invested in a situation as much or more than the people concerned or they will settle and you are left in the combat mode because their make up sessions may not involve you .Then what happens is that they smoothen up their issues and you are stuck in the past.
Don't forget that sometimes,or shall I say most times people hold back certain details in fights with family members and also in supporting whatever party,you as a third party may also be hearing a one side of the story( and perhaps not all of it) and decisions on a one sided story can be dangerous.
My summary is that a wife should always be cautious.
If you have to err,please err on the side of neutrality,that is my point

tearoses:


Seriously some issues just sound so silly; and they start off really small and before one knows its totally escalated out of hand.
its like being uncouth is the new fashion
and when the tables are turned, and the person with the wound starts to eat the fly, they will say that they are being picked on
When MIL recovers from the attack and wages a 20 year war, no one will know what started it.

I know that mama's can be very dramatic sometimes
Why couldnt the DIL say something that will diffuse the situation.
Even if her hubby was right, she can do aajo and finish the matter with her hubby in the bedroom.
One day one day she may need that MIL o! and she may be the only one who can talk sense into her sons head.

How are you sis? Amen to your post.

Another Marrriage Golden rule is to : Never interfere or take sides in parent/spouse disagreements.

The point is , these people will always reconcile no matter what. Someone in the family will intervene if wifee don't show concern for reconciliation.

Hmmm, In-laws... They aren't going anywhere, you're stuck with them forever so better don't start instigating fights coz you're digging una grave small small BUT rather be smart & make the best of every situation and be happy while at it hehe.