irishCream:
Dear Family I'm in deep shiiit, so confused on what to do right now.

I just turned 29 few days ago and have been out of a serious relationship for over a year now.

Have been waiting patiently for that right man to come along but unfortunately it only the wrong ones that keep coming my way, they just want to have a feel of my sweet body and off they go, no genuine intentions.

Now there's a brother that have been friendzoning for over two years now yet he keep persisting, good a thing I'm not the type that pretends so I told him from day one he asked me out that I'm not interested in him except on friendship level, I told him I don't feel him emotionally but he keep hanging on hoping I change my mind with time, my reasons for rejecting him is cos to me he's not presentable enough and I can't be proud introducing him to my people and again he got no good paid job (why on earth must he be poor and ugly at the same time, what kind of torture is that ). He's just managing in a private firm that pays less than 50k.

But what makes me have a rethink is the character of this my friendzoned brother, he keeps in touch despite my rejecting him, he even offer little financial assistance when I'm in need, when I asked him why he's doing all these to a girl that openly reject him he claims he has faith that I'll consider him one day, sometimes I'm forced to suspect if he has cast a spell on me so another good man won't come my way.

Now he has called to schedule a date tomorrow and I know as usual he wants to remind me that the year is running that I should consider his request since he hope to settle down this year.

Please dear Family advice me accordingly is it advisable I say yes to a man I don't feel a thing for emotionally? Can I ever get to love him? I do hear love grows but I don't believe in such!!!

MissSlimbody:
You don't have to say yes to him because the right man hasn't come along.

Never go into a relationship out of pity or desperation.

2sex:
That's life man. over 80% of Nigerian girls don't see the emboldened as something the ought to do.

IBBG:
I just luv and admire ur apt and swaggalicious use of words in espousing ur opinion. Thumbs up.

Ephemmm:


"But what makes me have a rethink is the character of this my friendzoned brother, he keeps in touch despite my rejecting him, he even offer little financial assistance when I'm in need".


@ bolded, if she doesn't need his financial assistance, why making it known that she is in need or are they co-habiting? Please make sure you read between the line come next time.

bellong:


How deep is the shit? What type of shit is it? Is it atomic or AK47 shit... How does it smell? If it is nice smelling shit, it is a good shit and if not, call the services of shit removal, Yorubas call them "agbepo".



Congratulations on your new age... What values did you add to yourself during this relationship hiatus?



To start with, what is your definition for a right man? What is it in those coming to qualify them as wrong?
I hope you were stingy enough not to let everyone that comes your way to be having a feel of your "sweet body"? Between, picture of the sweet body or .....


Abraham Lincoln and Pa Buhari must be this brother's mentors.....


This is maturity. Defining your relationship from onset. Kudos



Yes, you told him, you didn't have that emotional/butterfly thingy feeling for him but what you didn't tell him is the reason why you weren't having it. You should have told him that you never dreamt of being in a relationship with a broke nigga. Your taste in guys is rich and handsome. You can't be proud of him because he is not looking good despite having a good heart. He has failed in all ramifications of your assessment. You only told the poor brother half truth. This is what is called being economical with the truth.

I must say your real problem lies in this paragraph. Your desired qualities in men are parochial and vanity. You are not looking out for something that can last you for a lifetime. Vain beauty and empty pocket... It may be why "providence" is not yet smiling on you. You lack the desired wisdom and skill to identify a good man outside his look and pocket. Before you misinterprete me, I am not saying you should be watching out for a poor person but if your motivation is money, it is the foundation of failure.

A broke guy today with passion, vision and ambition can never be broke forever. If you lack the Eagle's eyes, you can never see potentials in a gold mine. Diamond, Gold and every precious metal does not come shinning until they pass through fire.

My question is, if you call someone broke, why are you broke yourself? I thought some of you ladies are of the opinion that you are not marrying any guy for his money.



In this, it is this guy that I have pity for. He doesn't know why you don't like him. If he suddenly becomes rich tomorrow, I am sure your love will come so strong for the poor dude... The guy likes you and he thinks he can't get someone better than you. It is why he is hopelessly waiting. When I was very much younger and of no experience, I waited endlessly and hopelessly for a girl like this till heavens borrowed me brain...



He knows you will soon become desperate as you approach that age women loathe with passion. He will remind you that your biological clock is ticking and it s good for you to take the option you have before becoming a prayer point in your church or mosque.



You are asking the wrong question. Nobody can tell you who to say yes to but yourself. You never liked this guy and you still don't like him, it is not reasonable saying yes. Love is not emotion but decision. You have decided not to ever love him and there is no point beating a dead bush. Free him and let him find his wife elsewhere. Saying yes will only make his life miserable if situation does not change when you want it.

I plead with you, free the ugly and broke guy please.

I wish you well in your search for an houseband...

pbs4real:
wisdom kwa! Lng story. . .u jez read her post saying the dude is poor and uuglee. . .ma sis the ish is simple let her 4get the dude and continue the search for her mr right. .
N.B: he has to be HANDSOME,RICH,6PACKS AND ALSO WORKING IN CHEVRON. . . ask irishcream she wld affirm all i said. . tanku

ednut1:
in year 2030 u wud see d guy. hammered and looking fresh and fine. na den u go dey regret

jaybee3:

Was he forced?

Not like he is a baby or whatnot

Obviously, the worst way to woo a woman is by enticing them with money. They will simply fall in love with the money and leave when it stops flowing.

They are friends and he seems to be helping her out albeit because he has some sort of feelings for her

UjSizzle:

Wisdom profits to direct.

She should ask for wisdom. The best part? It is free.

My dear get down on your knees and pray. And then do whatever God tells you. Simple.

jaybee3:
Surely you will frustrate yourself out of the marriage If you marry the wrong one out of desperation

You will almost certainly leave your man if your sole reason for marrying them borders along their financial strength. You need to love someone for whom they are not what they have

BTW: Are you working?

sonofananimal:


ANOTHER BIRD WITH THE SAME FEATHER


MAY YOU ROT IN PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

Tallesty1:
Like seriously, who is the right man?

I personally don't subscribe to the shitty idea that there exists one particular person that's meant for you...........

I also do not believe in the idea of a wrong person loving you right.

If he dresses like a gay, hangs out with gays and walks like a gay then he's definitely a gay.

If he loves you right then he's the right person. There is no two way about it.

The op thinks he's the wrong person because he isn't rich and handsome.

Is alright.


God is watching.

UjSizzle:

I don't think some men care very much about that. After all, we are supposed to be interested in their money.

jaybee3:

What next if and when you receive the wisdom?

How do you apply it?

Don't you know applying wisdom is the real difficult ish? Most people know the stack difference between right and wrong, using head and allowing emotion take over but yet they make the same mistakes time and time again. Why do you think that's the case?

love is complex but it ought not to be if you can be simply true to yourself

You know what you want then simply eradicate compromise from your dictionary so you don't feel sorry for yourself in the long run

jaybee3:


Would God tell her to leave him or compromise on her desires?

Does she really need to pray to see these things?

No wonder a lot of people feel they can only get answers in church when they simply ignore logic/basic common sense in approaching issues

bellong:


How deep is the shit? What type of shit is it? Is it atomic or AK47 shit... How does it smell? If it is nice smelling shit, it is a good shit and if not, call the services of shit removal, Yorubas call them "agbepo".



Congratulations on your new age... What values did you add to yourself during this relationship hiatus?
Hmmmmm I luv ur writes up,u av said it all,had a similar case,have 2 suitors now,I av always dream of settling down wit my tribe man,one of my suitor is my tribe man,infact my kind of man,he is well to do,wit a good job n a gud pay,bt bt he is a wideower wit 2 lovly kids,dats is nt my problem,I am average in height,y is lower,tell me wat will b d fate of our children 2moro,he clubs,buys gifts for girls like hell,likes ukwu a lot,scares me


To start with, what is your definition for a right man? What is it in those coming to qualify them as wrong?
I hope you were stingy enough not to let everyone that comes your way to be having a feel of your "sweet body"? Between, picture of the sweet body or .....


Abraham Lincoln and Pa Buhari must be this brother's mentors.....


This is maturity. Defining your relationship from onset. Kudos



Yes, you told him, you didn't have that emotional/butterfly thingy feeling for him but what you didn't tell him is the reason why you weren't having it. You should have told him that you never dreamt of being in a relationship with a broke nigga. Your taste in guys is rich and handsome. You can't be proud of him because he is not looking good despite having a good heart. He has failed in all ramifications of your assessment. You only told the poor brother half truth. This is what is called being economical with the truth.

I must say your real problem lies in this paragraph. Your desired qualities in men are parochial and vanity. You are not looking out for something that can last you for a lifetime. Vain beauty and empty pocket... It may be why "providence" is not yet smiling on you. You lack the desired wisdom and skill to identify a good man outside his look and pocket. Before you misinterprete me, I am not saying you should be watching out for a poor person but if your motivation is money, it is the foundation of failure.

A broke guy today with passion, vision and ambition can never be broke forever. If you lack the Eagle's eyes, you can never see potentials in a gold mine. Diamond, Gold and every precious metal does not come shinning until they pass through fire.

My question is, if you call someone broke, why are you broke yourself? I thought some of you ladies are of the opinion that you are not marrying any guy for his money.



In this, it is this guy that I have pity for. He doesn't know why you don't like him. If he suddenly becomes rich tomorrow, I am sure your love will come so strong for the poor dude... The guy likes you and he thinks he can't get someone better than you. It is why he is hopelessly waiting. When I was very much younger and of no experience, I waited endlessly and hopelessly for a girl like this till heavens borrowed me brain...



He knows you will soon become desperate as you approach that age women loathe with passion. He will remind you that your biological clock is ticking and it s good for you to take the option you have before becoming a prayer point in your church or mosque.



You are asking the wrong question. Nobody can tell you who to say yes to but yourself. You never liked this guy and you still don't like him, it is not reasonable saying yes. Love is not emotion but decision. You have decided not to ever love him and there is no point beating a dead bush. Free him and let him find his wife elsewhere. Saying yes will only make his life miserable if situation does not change when you want it.

I plead with you, free the ugly and broke guy please.

I wish you well in your search for an houseband...

pbs4real:
luk lyk u stil dnt gerriit wat doz she nid wisdom for again The wisdom to date a broke and ugly dude. . .ma sis lets nt deceive ourselves. . . . She knws wat she want and the best advice any1 here wld gv to her is to continue her search and put her in prayers that one day she wld meet her dream man,the saying that if the "preferable isnt available then let the available be preferable" isnt applicable in marriages. . .let her allow that innocent guy luk for some1 else that would luv him for who he is and nt for wat he is. . . #enufsaid

UjSizzle:

You're mistaken booboo. She thinks she knows what she wants. Maybe she does. But wisdom teaches her to apply what knowledge she has acquired. Wisdom helps her distinguish between good and bad advice; good and bad choices.
Wisdom gives her common sense.

I can't think of anything else she needs right now.