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Stats: 2,442,627 members, 5,498,949 topics. Date: Sunday, 29 March 2020 at 08:17 PM
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? (35353 Views)
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by Donpizzle(m): 9:15am On Jul 20, 2015|
NOTE: the essence of a woman in marriage is to assist the man and to be parasitic to him.
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by Livinusc(m): 9:25am On Jul 20, 2015|
We haven't hear from your hubbys mouth,we can not just pass jurdgement with urs alone.
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by liveexoticfish: 9:31am On Jul 20, 2015|
Humop, keep on being the good wife that you are. Lay less emphasis on money. You are looking at the future which is highly commendable while your husband is looking at today. You are very ambitious and you are a type of woman most men out there would like to have has a wife. Why? you have conscience, you don't want to hurt your hubby, you are submissive, financially strict etc Don't keep secrets from him. But you should make him understand that rain does not fall everyday so you need to save water in your tanks for the sunny day. You and only you can do it..Sorry to say this, you are the man mentally while your husband is the woman mentally
Follow only this advise other will damage your home soon
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by Toks2008(m): 9:33am On Jul 20, 2015|
MAY GOD BLESS YOU FOR THIS
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by Skoopy(m): 9:34am On Jul 20, 2015|
I guess you've had a bad experience, hence your submission.
@OP: All the same, you haven't done anything wrong, I just hope you presented your case in a very civil manner, if yes, then there won't be any cause for alarm.
Advice to Men: Be the Man and let you wife be the woman, not the other way round .
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by kunledegreat(m): 9:42am On Jul 20, 2015|
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|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by Toks2008(m): 9:43am On Jul 20, 2015|
Trust me pal,i don't even know if you are married and the reason why i had a bad marriage is a topic for another day but the truth is that you are not communicating and i really hate it when people fail to be intellectually sound in articulating their opinionated views without a dint of vulgarity or social decorum.
I am a man who was brought up in a whole different way and not one daddy's boy or mummy's boy who gets the toys he wanted or get that chocolate pack whenever daddy or mummy comes back from work. I did not school in those eyebrow institutions but today i am who i am and i can stand in the office of the number one citizen of this country or in any other exalted position with my face held up and i know my worth and my place and that is because of the inherent virtue that have guided me.
I am a goal getter,an achiever,a man in every aspect and please do not expect me to be on the same page with your school of taught that believes that a woman MUST have a sharing formula in financing the home front.
A woman is not a or the bread winner neither was she ever designed to be one but a help mate,a succor,an assistant and these sums it up. Now here is my strong opinionated stands... No man should force,cajole or make it a responsibility for a lady to part with her money but if she will need to spend even a dime on the home front,it must be optional.
I am not making reference to a sudden twist of financial status for a man who now finds himself helpless and at the mercy of his wife but even in such situation please be dignified.
I would rather borrow 50k in a whole month from my wife and from that 50k provide for her and the babies even if it means we will be eating beans all the way and in such cases if she decides to contribute more,it will be at her discretion but how can i be so broke and the next thing i do is start spending my wife's money as though its mine or go to her for money today and money tomorrow?
Please i need reasonable guys in the house to feel my point. A financially buoyant lady should be a plus for a man but not what a man should clamor for or strive to have and even when im really compelled to run from financially dependent lady for now due to present situation,i still believe that it is indeed the duty of a man to provide for his woman even if she is the richest woman in the world and of-course for his family with WHATEVER HE HAS and if the woman in his life decides to help out fine,after-all they are our HELPERS but once a man consciously and officially starts sharing or delegating his manly duties tyo his wife then he should watch it because he is crossing that crazy line.
It may interest many to note that some men make as high as 500k a month yet still gives their wife who makes lets say 200k or even same as them some delegated financial obligation in the home-front.
IN MY PERSONAL OPINION,IT IS SICKENING,BARBARIC AND TOTALLY DEMEANING FOR A MAN TO EVEN THINK ABOUT THIS LET ALONE PUT IT INTO PRACTICE.
If you have problems with this please note..IT IS MY OPINION.
5 Likes 1 Share
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by obiak4(m): 9:49am On Jul 20, 2015|
ivyT:menaintworthit zeus must hear this bae and i wanted to toast u like bread oooo
your sound as if u hv been hearybroken bae you will not meet mr right with this your attitude
knee down let me pray for u close your eye
lord help her meet mr right ijn amen stand up go to bar beach and wash your head
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by Holyman3(m): 9:55am On Jul 20, 2015|
Lets use percentage to determine the number of women who has more money when compared with their husbands in Nigeria.
We the men feed 98% of you in this Zoo called Nigeria and you have the smelly mouth to tell a married woman never to let her husband know she has money.
How come you don't understand that the husband can make her stop the work she does?
Next time before you contribute to a sensitive topic, make sure you are not in your periods..
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by spotmataz: 10:02am On Jul 20, 2015|
Another thing is to have a separate account for projects like this.. It should not be left in the general account, try as much as possible not to have an ATM card on that account in fact if possible have an arrangement with your banker and let the account be a no go area even to you except for the said purpose alone....
This applies to any project at all wheather it's your vacation or schools fees or peparing for your wedding, any project you look forward to.
Don't start to keep your money from your spouse it will kill trust and can eventually kill the marriage. Put yourself in the same shoes and you discover your spouse hides money from you, you two should sit down have a heart to heart discussion, know what is immportant to one another then adopt the above method sorting it out. Communication.
Hope this helps.
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by obiak4(m): 10:09am On Jul 20, 2015|
vague:so because a man borrows/spend his wife money he is termed inresponsible.
Na wa oooo
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by jaybee3(m): 10:22am On Jul 20, 2015|
I would have never brought it up for scrutiny if your sense of reasoning wasn’t all that different. Not like marriages don’t break up for the flimsiest of reasons but one wonders why you will work your butt off to solely provide for your family and still end up heart broken. Yes we need to view it with a microscope.
I wouldn’t even challenge you intellectually cos surely if you have any iota of intellect, you would have been able to deduce that it’s almost impossible for those living beyond the shores of Nigeria to depend on one source of Income in order to experience the quality of life they deem fit.
Toks2008:So you were brought up with values but it’s obvious common sense wasn’t one of them. The world we live in as evolved and women are empowered. You can’t compare the world where men had exclusive rights to all opportunities to the world we currently live in. The beauty of a family is when they share common goal and both actively participate in reaching the goal.
Toks2008:No one is forcing them to do something they should freely do as their contribution to the household. It’s as simple as that.
It’s not like I’m saying it’s a mandatory requirement for them to get married. An empowered woman with equal footing should normally contribute her own quota to the success of the family as a unit.
Toks2008:This is what I sincerely don’t get and can’t seem to comprehend. You will borrow money from your wife to run your household? Makes no damn sense and it’s extremely shameful for you to even do such cos that makes you less of a man. You should always ensure you meet your mutually defined obligations as the husband not treating your wife as a bank.
Now if you took care of all the essentials bills and she used her own funds to provide the food that y’all eat, surely you won’t have the need to be borrowing to provide beans for the family.
It just doesn’t makes sense that you had to choose to suffer just so you can massage your almighty ego
Toks2008:Because it’s the duty of the man to provide for the family doesn’t make it less of a duty for the woman to contribute towards the success of the same family.
Toks2008:I put it to you that it’s stupid and outright ridiculous for you to continuously be stuck in the 19th century way of thinking. How can any sane man restrict his family some sort of necessary privilege just so he can massage his little ego.
Would you insist that your kids go to rubbish school because that’s all you can afford and your ego wouldn’t allow your wife contribute something that will benefit you both?
Do you think it’s only the father that has to provide everything financial towards the raising of your children?
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by obichiekweibe59: 10:24am On Jul 20, 2015|
Madam,you are a rare breed.My advise to you is to keep your mind open to him persuasively.Opening a secret account will surely lead to chain of events that may destroy your marriage.You said your husband appreciates,thats very important.Marriage is a life of commitment.By the time you do this to do a masters and the joy and peace you enjoy now disappears,the masters degree and its salary will only compound your sorrow.I was once like your husband.My wife never changed.I got to listen and work with her after 15years.Now we are as happy as ever because we stayed together till now that the children are taking care of us.Am still working,she is too, yet we are being showered with care by our children.Marriage is a life long journey,greater than carrier,business,and emotions.Dont acaept any idea that will make your husband see you as different from what you used to be.By the time you are trying to rectify things,a lot of damage would have been done.Be wise.No ammount of carrer succes or financial success can compensate for the failure of the home.Ask those who failed at home and they will tell you.Your husband will come around.Continue to present the money as you usually do and continue to put pressure on him to save, through the bedroom,food,affection.All will be well and you will do your masters in peace and still have a happy home.
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by DukeNija(m): 10:25am On Jul 20, 2015|
If you can only have one which will you choose. Family or Masters Degree. You seem to have frozen your rationality.
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by Nobody: 10:35am On Jul 20, 2015|
kilode100:Hey! That's a no go area ooo.
We be friends no reach for this one please stay away from him or else we go put leg for one trouser ooo.
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by obiak4(m): 10:35am On Jul 20, 2015|
marriedvirgin:and you are married i knee down and pray may oluwa God chineke never give me a wife that thinks like you
bae you are too selfish learn to give unconditionally
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by ugochukwu360(m): 10:46am On Jul 20, 2015|
If what you have told us is the truth ,( you know there are always two sides to every story nd given d fact your husband is not on ground to tell his own part of d story) i would say you have done nothing wrong Cos av experienced first hand how extravagant some men can be.
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by obiak4(m): 10:49am On Jul 20, 2015|
Sabrwahaqqo:three origiin for you guys and pls return my bottles oooo
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by abduldope(m): 10:57am On Jul 20, 2015|
wisdomiskey:hahahahaha 5star to u man
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by DukeNija(m): 11:03am On Jul 20, 2015|
Not he can't. Because you just said nonsense.
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by Nobody: 11:11am On Jul 20, 2015|
You have good intention but bad approach,u have created hatred within your hubby heart.
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by EazyMoh(m): 11:42am On Jul 20, 2015|
that's another beauty of Islam as regards to solution to our social problems. You have the absolute right to hide/refuse to give even a dime to your husband as a wife, even if you are a billionnare! it is compulsory for him to provide for you in every aspect of your life relative to his gain. you can only assist him if and when you deem it fit to do. bottom line you have a right in his wealth, while he has none in yours. in fact it's his duty to pay the school fees! But that's in Islam Sha. the solution for humanity.
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by Rareg: 11:54am On Jul 20, 2015|
Madam, i don't usually comment but let me sincerely advice you. You need to put money aside for your exams without telling your hubby. That is the only way you can pay for that exam.
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by temmym4(m): 1:47pm On Jul 20, 2015|
Madam, talk for your own Man and not every Male. Not all of us are parasites. As a matter of fact some of us who fund our wives are quite happy about their progresses especially when they come back and tell us how the money came in triple folds, it encourages us to do more.
What is the pride in your wife making money and you spending?
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by LaMangolagos(m): 2:10pm On Jul 20, 2015|
My sister, I know how it is for you but the only thing I will tell u is that family comes first before any thing. As far as he does not spend your money on women, drinks is ok, if he want to do parties like baby naming u should sit him down and help him plan on how to parkage the event with little money. As for taken all of u home I think is it good for the childern to know their root the family members will think u are the one that don't want their brother to come for visit with his family. Just make him spend the money in the right way ok. Don't keep anything away from him. Let him trust u. My father is just like him, my mum did most all things for us and today we are better. But if she had listen to people and family members may be I would have come from a boken home. Today I work and have a biz of my own. Plan for your childern and love your man. My dad still talk of my mum today as a God sent and they are happy. I know how it feels. Just talk with him. May God bless u both of you
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by chelsea4su(f): 2:30pm On Jul 20, 2015|
@ op,av actually read tru all ur post & i appreciate u 4 who u r,firstly u av actually taken a wrong move by allowing ur husband access to ur acc,also by taken all d responsibility at home,pls can i ask u a question (DO U MARRY HIM OUT OFF PITY)cos tru out ur married life he will always depend on u,cos u train him dat way,der is more u cannot say in dis media dat is actually affecting u,but i will implore u to stand on ur right & stop baby feeding ur hubby , (LET HIM STAND AS A MAN)and hussle 4 his needs nt in urowneeeexpenses,can
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by jabojafa(m): 2:32pm On Jul 20, 2015|
Kimoni:i dont tink so. If in marriage ur body belongs to ur hubby n vice versa then ur moni belongs to him too n vice versa. The bad tin der is dt d man spends on impulse and is selfish becos he luvs himsef more dan his wife and they are not yet one in terms of finances.
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by bukatyne(f): 3:18pm On Jul 20, 2015|
So NOT true.
Nothing wrong with joint spending (to me that 's the ideal) BUT the idea that many Nigerian husbands are primary bread winners is a fallacy spinned on Nairaland
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by Nobody: 3:28pm On Jul 20, 2015|
You are on the right path sweetie...trust me you are. Your baby is here already, thank God for that so dedicate him/her simply without breaking the bank and make sure you pay for that masters. Simple!
|Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by bukatyne(f): 3:47pm On Jul 20, 2015|
I want you to examine the issue critically:
It is either:
Your hubby is an impulsive spender and/or not financially prudent.
He doesn't want you to progress careerwise
These questions will help'
1. IS He career minded? Looking at building a career or furthering his education?
2. Does He believe that women should be career minded? His thoughts on his female colleagues?
3. Does He believe a husband should always fare better than the wife?I.e. husband have a masters before the wife? Competitive?
4. Does He Believe that the husband should always earn more than the wife?
Think about it.
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