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I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by nochildsplay(m): 11:54pm On Jul 19, 2015
I think ur hubby is an opportunist, hiding under the shield of "am broke". Waiting for ur pay day for miscallenous expenses to pop.....



Bera wise up lady.


This one is going down and he's gradually taking u along.

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by JefLonDon(m): 11:56pm On Jul 19, 2015
the Bible says dear....for two come together to become one, so u guys shud act wit one mind.....remember he's d head of ya family...... just put it in prayers.....its well IJN
Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by Truckpusher(m): 11:56pm On Jul 19, 2015
grandstar:


No but its wrong to call someone a fool.
I never called anyone a fool.
Check my post again or you simply use ya glasses again.

1 Like

Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by grandstar(m): 11:59pm On Jul 19, 2015
Truckpusher:
I never called anyone a fool.
Check my post again or you simply use ya glasses again.

Read what you typed below

I pity the fool that would end up with you thinking he has a wife
Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by enoqueen: 11:59pm On Jul 19, 2015
[quote author=Truckpusher post=36063232]I pity the fool that would end up with you thinking he has a wife.
Guys listen up ,don't let ya woman know your worth until she's loyal with too many kids on her ass.[/quote


Who be this one

U are a very big fool.

Must you quote me oponu.

Ode oshi. Agbepo.

Barrow pusher
Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by Nobody: 12:00am On Jul 20, 2015
which kind wife u be self? and what if he tells u tomorrow, "pls dont touch my money?

'no matter how hard things r, u shouldnt have told him that 'cause him fit feel hurt somehw.

1 Like

Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by OdenigboAroli(m): 12:02am On Jul 20, 2015
Your husband is very shortsighted and irresponsible....Men like him makes the responsible ones like us look bad. I don't even touch my wife's money but I know she spends it on the family and I pray I will never ask her for money. I will support everything she want to do but will let her decide what to do with a money. Guys,never you depend on your wife. They don't mind spending your money but soon as you tamper with their finances you will start getting the treament of a loser.

7 Likes

Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by PubLlcEnemy(m): 12:03am On Jul 20, 2015
FavorofGod:
My hubby and I have had no financial secrets since marriage. He uses my atm regularly and it's almost as though we operated a joint account. This has worked for us until recently.

Now the issue is this: I'm saving for my masters school fees(distance learning) which invoves thousands of pounds. I had to defer it last year due to financial constraints. So from the beginning of this year, I had already started making plans to pay. Hubby promised to assist but each time he puts away some money, something always comes up to make him use it up.

I wouldn't have minded much if it was just that, but he turns around to deplete my own savings, promising to pay when he has money. I know he has no other means of income and cannot fulfill that promise.As it stands now, I've not been able to save a dime, and my fees is due in 2 months.
So I told him he is on his own as far as this month and next month's salary is concerned, cos I'm saving every bit of it. Some money being owed me at my place of work for months now was finally paid me yesterday. I didn't want to tell him at first, but later did this morning.

He said he was disappointed, that I've started keeping secrets from him. That he only spent my money because he was broke and not out of carelessness. I told him there was a cause.

He spends money as he sees it, and does not believe in saving for the rainy day. He is not frivolous, but will start projects he had earlier shelved due to lack of money as soon as he sees money. For e.g, He has been talking about hosting a big time baby dedication, and the whole family travelling to the village next month for holiday, which are all capital intensive projects, when he knows he cannot fund it with his salary alone.

I think he wants me to allow him use my savings, then hope for a miracle to pay my fees. I know he's not commited to my academic pursuits, though he claims to. He once used up money I had saved for a proffessional exam, promising to pay b4 the closing date, only to tell me to forgett about an exam I had fully prepared for a day to the closing date because he couldn't raise the money. I had to run around to borrow and pay that same day.

So, ladies and gents, am I wrong to have barred him from touchingmy money for thisperiod or not? Should I stop telling him how much I have exactly? Share your thoughts.

You sound like a good wife. Pls keep it up.

You did the right thing in tellin him how you feel... But it all boils down to how you put it to him. I hope you were polite enuff becos he might just say "OK " but within him, he may not be very happy. So if you think you weren't polite enuff pls just go back and beg him to make him understand how much ur education means to you... But you should be firm on not just ur finances but the entire finance of the house since you said he spends money as he sees it. You are the wife and should be in control of the finaces becos if thing go south you will all suffer it.
Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by enoqueen: 12:04am On Jul 20, 2015
diamondtutu:



Ur first paragraph was a daft reply from a very very shallow mental evaluation. undecided

Who be this one

Share ur view and stop quoting me I beg.

Oponu.

2 Likes

Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by Truckpusher(m): 12:04am On Jul 20, 2015
[quote author=enoqueen post=36063895][/quote]The rants of an angry woman with a bad attitude removes nothing from me .

Go back to ya post and see how your stupidity is being displayed like a cinema .

You can lie to anyone all the time but you can't lie to ya self even once because the truth is like a needle , every now and then it pricks ya conscience.

2 Likes

Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by 9jatatafo(m): 12:04am On Jul 20, 2015
Why would your man take a trip to the village and celebrate elaborately when he don't have the money? Besides. Your studies is far better. Don't let him touch the money and let him reason if he is hell bent doing what he wants then he should go and look for the money.

5 Likes

Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by sage2(m): 12:07am On Jul 20, 2015
cococandy:
good question

Omo see lips. Mmwa!
Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by dokunbam(m): 12:09am On Jul 20, 2015
Singing JMartins: I dont like this your touching body haba

As for me I have learnt not to touch anybody's cash
My moto: always be prudent about spending money, get the best out of what you use your money for.
make sacrifice, save, give what you wont regret

No mata what am on my own, always sort things out.



Singing Dbanj: You get your own money, I get my own too

1 Like

Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by Truckpusher(m): 12:10am On Jul 20, 2015
grandstar:


Read what you typed below

I pity the fool that would end up with you thinking he has a wife
Well, the fool in that context is anyone that would end up with her unless you're already there with her.

1 Like

Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by liquidmetall: 12:11am On Jul 20, 2015
bennyrazz:
@op, keep on being the good wife that you are. Lay less emphasis on money. You are looking at the future which is highly commendable while your husband is looking at today. You are very ambitious and you are a type of woman most men out there would like to have has a wife. Why? you have conscience, you don't want to hurt your hubby, you are submissive, financially strict etc Don't keep secrets from him. But you should make him understand that rain does not fall everyday so you need to save water in your tanks for the sunny day. You and only you can do it..Sorry to say this, you are the man mentally while your husband is the woman mentally








The best post ever
Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by dioman: 12:12am On Jul 20, 2015
Hahahaha, funny you (OP). You met this guy, probably you guys dated for a period of time before marriage. must have shared dreams and desires together. Did he promise to help you actualized your dreams? Was he in support of your M.sc pursuit? This are questions you guys must have answer before jumping in to marriage. I'm sorry, in marriage secrets is totally unacceptable, sit him down, make him see reason why you need the M.sc. I strongly believe a responsible man of which I believe he is will encourage you. Good luck.
Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by frakdon(m): 12:16am On Jul 20, 2015
Yu did right nd pls becareful hw yu allow him spend yur money, yu guys hv a family to build for Oluwa sake!! Tell him for nw "honey yu r OYO"
Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by Wadosky(m): 12:17am On Jul 20, 2015
Seriously I will consider it a treasonable offence if my hubby comes to nairaland to narrate how we live in the house without first consulting me.
It's really alarming ,nawa o
Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by olajide8(m): 12:17am On Jul 20, 2015
FavorofGod:
My hubby and I have had no financial secrets since marriage. He uses my atm regularly and it's almost as though we operated a joint account. This has worked for us until recently.

Now the issue is this: I'm saving for my masters school fees(distance learning) which invoves thousands of pounds. I had to defer it last year due to financial constraints. So from the beginning of this year, I had already started making plans to pay. Hubby promised to assist but each time he puts away some money, something always comes up to make him use it up.

I wouldn't have minded much if it was just that, but he turns around to deplete my own savings, promising to pay when he has money. I know he has no other means of income and cannot fulfill that promise.As it stands now, I've not been able to save a dime, and my fees is due in 2 months.
So I told him he is on his own as far as this month and next month's salary is concerned, cos I'm saving every bit of it. Some money being owed me at my place of work for months now was finally paid me yesterday. I didn't want to tell him at first, but later did this morning.

He said he was disappointed, that I've started keeping secrets from him. That he only spent my money because he was broke and not out of carelessness. I told him there was a cause.

He spends money as he sees it, and does not believe in saving for the rainy day. He is not frivolous, but will start projects he had earlier shelved due to lack of money as soon as he sees money. For e.g, He has been talking about hosting a big time baby dedication, and the whole family travelling to the village next month for holiday, which are all capital intensive projects, when he knows he cannot fund it with his salary alone.

I think he wants me to allow him use my savings, then hope for a miracle to pay my fees. I know he's not commited to my academic pursuits, though he claims to. He once used up money I had saved for a proffessional exam, promising to pay b4 the closing date, only to tell me to forgett about an exam I had fully prepared for a day to the closing date because he couldn't raise the money. I had to run around to borrow and pay that same day.

So, ladies and gents, am I wrong to have barred him from touchingmy money for thisperiod or not? Should I stop telling him how much I have exactly? Share your thoughts.
Sorry to say but you have entered the wrong bus, collect your ATM and move the money to your mother or fathers account- if you haven't told him tell him it's for the sale of one of your parents property and they needed the money* that's all- you just married for yourself a gold digger
Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by OdenigboAroli(m): 12:18am On Jul 20, 2015
Dyt:
Trust me
Almost all married women experience this
Some wise up after learning something's about their wayward husbands
Some even continue in foolishness

Only few men
I mean countable men appreciates these efforts and you can't even know, they live happily without spending lavishly

Madam trust me, you can't do nothing to stop it cos each time you do, hr sees you as a bad wife and you start having issues, yes don't lie to him, open up to him
Tell him you have money and saving for raining days, he will spend his money anyhow cos he knows his wife has money, yes she can always get, Gos forbid if you lose your source of income, my dear that's when you will know this man has no plans for you.

Women with good heart finds it very difficult to overlook Hubby's sadness even if its feign
He knows you already
He will blackmail you to do his wants

Trust me woman
You can't do nothing about
You can only try
You can only say
But you will never
You will give him access to it soon
I know

So in all
I don't know what to advice cos I know you will still give

If you wanna go the route of unfounded generalisation then count on us to match you word for word. First off,most men are the primary bread winners in their family and we don't have any problem with that and will never complain but soon as a woman starts making her little money ,of which she mmostly use to buy designers items and is called upon to assist in the family financial responsibility all hell let loose. Most women are ffucking selfish and self centered.

4 Likes

Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by babyfaceafrica: 12:21am On Jul 20, 2015
Some gals mentality in this nairaland..only God will save them...@OP..be gud..they Lord will direct you!!

1 Like

Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by komek(m): 12:22am On Jul 20, 2015
enoqueen:
One of the many mistakes we women make is allowing our men know that we av money.

U did not do anything wrong and let it remain so even after paying ur fees.

When men sees money with us, they will be coming up with different project that they cannot do alone just to make sure that we spend what we av.


Shut up.

What most of u do is to marry a man who does not want ur progress because he is tall , dark, handsome, sixpacks, dimple even when it is obvious that the dude is broke and not even ready to get himsef involved in any productive activity.

How on earth wud a human being plan a life style in another man's pocket. @ OP, I will suggest u stand ur ground in ur decision and since u have not been keeping secrets from him pls continue that way and don't stop telling him reasons why he shud not be using money anyhow because he has a supporting wife. Pls don't mind this adviser that I quoted, she does not have a good home and she has come to scatter urs too that is if she is married o.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by marriedvirgin: 12:26am On Jul 20, 2015
sister let me advice you like I would advice someone close to me.Please there is a saying that not all truths are good to be said.I am even surprised that you exposed yourself to your husband to that level.Before you open your eyes you would realize that years have gone by without you achieving anything all because you marry husband.Please stop revealing your finances to him because it has even made him to take you for granted.You are his money bank.What if something happens between you two tomorrow ,how would your kids survive when you have no savings?Like the first poster said,men are not worth it.SAhe is right.Imagine a man who doesn't care of your plans but spends your money and tells you to forget about your exams.Hmmm you sef open your eyes na










FavorofGod:
My hubby and I have had no financial secrets since marriage. He uses my atm regularly and it's almost as though we operated a joint account. This has worked for us until recently.

Now the issue is this: I'm saving for my masters school fees(distance learning) which invoves thousands of pounds. I had to defer it last year due to financial constraints. So from the beginning of this year, I had already started making plans to pay. Hubby promised to assist but each time he puts away some money, something always comes up to make him use it up.

I wouldn't have minded much if it was just that, but he turns around to deplete my own savings, promising to pay when he has money. I know he has no other means of income and cannot fulfill that promise.As it stands now, I've not been able to save a dime, and my fees is due in 2 months.
So I told him he is on his own as far as this month and next month's salary is concerned, cos I'm saving every bit of it. Some money being owed me at my place of work for months now was finally paid me yesterday. I didn't want to tell him at first, but later did this morning.

He said he was disappointed, that I've started keeping secrets from him. That he only spent my money because he was broke and not out of carelessness. I told him there was a cause.

He spends money as he sees it, and does not believe in saving for the rainy day. He is not frivolous, but will start projects he had earlier shelved due to lack of money as soon as he sees money. For e.g, He has been talking about hosting a big time baby dedication, and the whole family travelling to the village next month for holiday, which are all capital intensive projects, when he knows he cannot fund it with his salary alone.

I think he wants me to allow him use my savings, then hope for a miracle to pay my fees. I know he's not commited to my academic pursuits, though he claims to. He once used up money I had saved for a proffessional exam, promising to pay b4 the closing date, only to tell me to forgett about an exam I had fully prepared for a day to the closing date because he couldn't raise the money. I had to run around to borrow and pay that same day.

So, ladies and gents, am I wrong to have barred him from touchingmy money for thisperiod or not? Should I stop telling him how much I have exactly? Share your thoughts.

2 Likes

Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by Toks2008(m): 12:27am On Jul 20, 2015
MarvellousGod:
favorofGod, be wary of advices like this, your thread has hit fp so you'll get all sorts of advice. Be wise!!

Unfortunately that was not an advice but a conclusive remark.

Do you know the number of marriages that have broken down as a result of this similar case?

I am a marriage counsilor and i dont mix words when i talk to couples.My marriage collapsed due to money issues and my ex could not cope with the sudden change of events.

The second factor that breaks up marriage is money after infidelity and trust me,the op has foolishly put herself in pertetual bondage.

Love and personal finance are very parallel. Transparency YES,joint account NO,unhindered access to withdraw from partners account,HELL NO. sharing of financial responsibility HELL NO but should be left at the discretion of the lady.

I guess many people need to pass through lots of counseling before getting married.


Trust me,the op has two options,to continue with this absurdity or stop and break her marriage.

Too sad.

4 Likes

Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by Nobody: 12:30am On Jul 20, 2015
ivyT:
U did d right thing nd stand ur ground.Finances causes alot of problem_iv witnessed it

am nt been bias_but MenAintWorthIt,
What she did was right and understandable,but u saying men aint worth it makes u sound like a teen or a really sad sob... And dumb.

4 Likes

Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by marriedvirgin: 12:31am On Jul 20, 2015
mtchewwwwwwwwwwwwww you wish










bennyrazz:
@op, keep on being the good wife that you are. Lay less emphasis on money. You are looking at the future which is highly commendable while your husband is looking at today. You are very ambitious and you are a type of woman most men out there would like to have has a wife. Why? you have conscience, you don't want to hurt your hubby, you are submissive, financially strict etc Don't keep secrets from him. But you should make him understand that rain does not fall everyday so you need to save water in your tanks for the sunny day. You and only you can do it..Sorry to say this, you are the man mentally while your husband is the woman mentally
Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by Toks2008(m): 12:35am On Jul 20, 2015
komek:


Shut up.

What most of u do is to marry a man who does not want ur progress because he is tall , dark, handsome, sixpacks, dimple even when it is obvious that the dude is broke.

How on earth wud a human being plan a life style in another man's pocket. @ OP, I will suggest u stand ur ground in ur decision and since u have not been keeping secrets from him pls continue that way and don't stop telling him reasons why he shud not be using money anyhow because he has a supporting wife. Pls don't mind this adviser that I quoted, she does not have a good home and she has come to scatter urs too that is if she is married o.

Habba wettin i do you wey you dey yab ladies wey love me because you just described me finish except the 6pack thing lol.

Anyways its unfortunate that some guys are just jerks and this has nothing to do with looks because the last time i checked,ladies would rather love that 6pack in your pocket rather than go after a broke tall....

1 Like

Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by Nobody: 12:39am On Jul 20, 2015
enoqueen:
One of the many mistakes we women make is allowing our men know that we av money.

U did not do anything wrong and let it remain so even after paying ur fees.

When men sees money with us, they will be coming up with different project that they cannot do alone just to make sure that we spend what we av.

I feel sorry for you and your husband if you have one. Learn to be a wife like the op.
@Op: you are a submissive and ambitious woman,be proud of yourself. Your decision is right,do not withdraw your support from your man,but make sure you continue to save for rainy days,do not fault your husband,he's reckless but you who is his support is cautious so don't feel guilty,your nature will save the day someday,you seem wise. Well done and don't listen to the likes of this mbeke I quoted.

1 Like

Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by IYANGBALI: 12:42am On Jul 20, 2015
You were wrong to have allowed him to have access to your account in the first place,you don't do that with any man,Nigerian man for that matter with lots of responsibilities and strings
Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by bidex(m): 12:43am On Jul 20, 2015
FavorofGod:
Thanks for all ur contributions. I think I'd just open a savings account without his knowledge and do a monthly standing order. But he knows my monthly pay and would know if I started saving, so I intend to wait till I get promoted later this year and then save part of the differential in salary. But as for this month and next month salary, my stand remains the same, until I pay my school fees.
...
I think you should not. you said he took loan, what did he used d loan for? you said he spends money on un necessary projects, was d projects not yielding? you also said he spends on his family, don't he spend on yours? you said you foot higher bill of running the house, to what extent pls?
Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by Nobody: 12:43am On Jul 20, 2015
MRLINGTON:




loooool and i was abt asking my gf for lil financial assistance...buh ryt nw my mind has changed

cheesy. cheesy cheesy cheesy

1 Like

Re: I Told My Hubby To Stop Using My Money.am I Wrong? by kilokeys(m): 12:47am On Jul 20, 2015
ivyT:
U did d right thing nd stand ur ground.Finances causes alot of problem_iv witnessed it

am nt been bias_but MenAintWorthIt,
u r forgiven

1 Like

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