Good luck confused lover!

If you were in love with your wife before marrying her and during this marriage, then i dont know why the thread. If you love your current wife so much , why will u be confused abt ur feeelings. Dou you love ur wife or are in just attracted to the new lady and calling it love. and for GOD'S sake u both are a xtians. wat r guys doing , commiting adultery

My brother you need God to stay afloat, the Bible says confront the devil and he will flee away from you. Take the Bull by the horn, call the girl to a heart to heart frank talk that what you had going is lust and not love. Note, for the two of you to be in love in the first instance means the fear of God is not in your hearts. Remember "the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom" get wisdom det wise, rededicate yourself to your earlier marriage vows, "to love and to cherish till death do us part"

you are hiv positive truss

Therapyman:
O.K. so some of you are a little more foolish than others.  "God Knows No Sin" means two things from a theological viewpoint, of which I have a masters degree- also one in Christian Counselling.  First off it means that Sin is not a part of God's make up, Therefore if God is Love and God is not Sin - Love can not be Sin.  Secondly, it means that if you are in Christ Jesus God does not look at you as a sinner - He sees you clothed in the righteousness of Christ.  If you want to use shame and guilt tactics against this guy I guess that makes sense since that is something that misguided Christians are good at but when it comes to biblical truth they do not hold water.

Thanks for your 2 cents worth but maybe you should go back to school and keep your opinions to yourself until you know what you are talking about.

Of course I said to keep on loving the other woman.  Love is of the nature of God.  What I also said was NOT "to cut out sex" - as far as I understand it they have not had sex - what I said was to differentiate (big word there hope you have a dictionary) between Love and Sexual Impulse.  May be a "yea Right" issue for you but for those whom have some integrity, motivation, and perseverance - it really is not that difficult of a task.  More difficult is getting the junk - LIKE YOUR COMMENTS- out of ones head.  Either way I suggested counselling so that a trained professional, which you ARE NOT and I AM, can come along side them and help them journey through this time in their lives.


I hope that JWdayise is wise enough to know the difference between your deluded immature rantings and the truth.

Hmmn. . . . .I don't know which part of the Scriptures you are relying on, to support your arguments, but my own bible commands us to be holy, and also states that we are to flee from temptation and flee from all appearance of evil. In fact, there is a part that warns strictly against fornication, by saying if a man looks lustfully upon a woman, he has already commited a sin in his heart. It even goes further to say in Habbakuk 1:13 that "God, Thou art of purer eyes than to behold evil and canst not look on iniquity. . . ." This shows that God does not condone sin in any form. The Scriptures are even more emphatic about the fact that God does not tempt any man, but man is tempted by his own lusts.

When Joseph was working for his Egyptian master, and his master's wife asked him to sleep with her, did he sit down to negotiate with her, or try to talk it out, or continue seeing her? NO! The smart chap fled.

Abeg, the original poster is in a fragile situation that has all the potential of turning into a tempestous, lustful tango with him as the star actor in a tryst with a member of the opposite sex. He is vulnerable and quite prone to temptation. The only option he has is to cut off ties with this woman and discuss his feelings with God Almighty. Period.

What is happening to the guy that asked for help? Has he gotten over the gal or what?

PRAYER , God pls don't let my hubby be as perversed as this one o!

This is a real adultrer

Larry O:

PRAYER , God please don't let my hubby be as perversed as this one o!

This is a real adultrer

You see, thats Y you girls should look 4 guys like me

The measurement of a man is not by the evil passions that controls him, but by the evil passions he can control. And mind you that a man without control is like a city broken down and without wall.

you said your a christian, no it therefore that spiritual bankcrupcy is inevitable when a amn is no longer able to keep the interest paid on his moral obligation.

Any one that is driving by lust will by inevitably drawn and consume by lust.

Where you consentrated your mind there you create your image.
Finally, If destruction be our lot, we must ourselves be its arthor and finisher

The earlier you put an end 2 dis lustful feelings the better for you.u're married remember and there shld be a limit 2 female intimacy after marriage.Don't ruin your marriage because of a strange woman.A word they say is enough for the wise.Best of luck.

@Topic

BIG DEAL!!!!! Please cry me a river! Abeg oooooooooooh!  Like some people recommended here---go and read "Habba-wandering-Cork"!!!!!

_{Did[b] Davidylion [/b] not kill Uriah in the battlefield in your Bible to shag his wife? Come marry the babe sef after the ritualistic killing!----Holy phock!!!!   God still loved him---"after his own heart and soul"!!!!!}

BTW, how are those[b] meetings [/b] abi na matings?  You will not sleep a wink till that "tin" comot for ya blood oh!  I swear!

Not to worry---it is just a phase!

atutupoyo:

What is happening to the guy that asked for help? [b]Has he gotten over the girl or what?

Whosai?  They are busy getting it down "spiritually"!!!!--Probably in the church!   He will be back after repenting!

_{Chistain my arse!!!!---Bigots!!!!}

I can well understand your problem, I hope you have resolved it by now whichever way it went. I have the same situation, although we are from totally different cultures and countries, it is not lust as most have posted it, it's just the matters of the heart, It does happen only once in a lifetime, It would be best to stick with your wife.At the same time your heart and happiness is with another, After this you wouldnt have feelings for anyother, not now not ever again, tough decision to make. I have 2 daughters and so I know how it would tear you apart, I broke it off once, but when we saw each other again, it started as if it were afresh, Lust is a sin, not love, it certainly is a 2 edged sword, it heals on one side and kills on the other. You have to determine what you want in life and whether you are ready to make such sacrifices, what is more important to you, your family or this new woman, If both are , well then that's where all the pain starts. I've been through it once and thought I made the correct decision but now it has started all over again and now , well As long as the new woman knows my situation and is willing to accept it like it is it's OK, the day she decides to get married I guess I am gonna have to let her go, But as we all know, life has it's own twists and turns and very often we cannot control the outcome of our actions, what's meant to be is meant to be. Good luck with your decisions.

rotee:

My brother you need God to stay afloat, the Bible says confront the devil and he will flee away from you. Take the Bull by the horn, call the girl to a heart to heart frank talk that what you had going is lust and not love. Note, for the two of you to be in love in the first instance means the fear of God is not in your hearts. Remember "the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom" get wisdom det wise, rededicate yourself to your earlier marriage vows, "to love and to cherish till death do us part"

i am sorry but you are not in love with this other lady. You both are being deceived and heading for destruction so flee. The feeling may seem so real and sweet but its all to destroy you.

As a christian you know what to do. The enemy satan is moving around seeking for who to devour and if we open the door he will gladly enter. You are opening the door for him to destroy your life.

PRAY

Nothing is wrong with you,the situation is more about timing.I'm sure if you met this other woman before your wife you would have definately chosen to marry her.On the flip side the love you have for this other woman doesn't look like it will ever go away so get used to not seeing her unless of course you're ready to jeopardise the happiness of your child and wife.
Its a case of not being in love but love the person you're with.At 28,I'll say you have a long way ahead so I suggest you bury that emotion and live with your decision.It hurts but hey thats life.

think we should be sick of brothers who know exacctly the solution to their problems and yet bother us unduly.even you yourself know its wrong and that best thing to do is call it quit.go do what you got to do bro.good luck

To your being in love with another woman, if you are a christian as you claimed, then you're comitting adultery, and that is a sin in the sight of God. Pray all the time and shun that love making.

It's so easy to be tempted isn't it? It's easy to forget the beauty of my wife and be drawn towards the charm of another woman. It's been helpful (and entertaining) for me to read these posts. Someone said it earlier. My immaturity is evident by not being able to commit to my wife. I can pray to stop thinking about my co-worker, and try to avoid talking to her. But I get drawn into the sick thrill of flirting with her and sexually fantasizing about her. I realize I'm sinning but I don't want to give it up. Why? Doesn't sin cut us off from God? Can't God fulfill our innermost desires in the deepest of ways? This constant lusting after the other woman brings me no deep joy. It's a sick fantasy. My wife is real. Maybe it's the work I'm shying away from. The work of making a marriage vibrant and healthy. How many thousands of other men go through this very crap every day I wonder.

You are just craving some excitment and something outside the norm (your wife) which unfortunately happens in some marriage. Spend more time rekindling your marriage sparks, and focus on why you married in the first place. If you work on these you will later on find out that u are not in Love with the female friend. There is nothing outside so enjoy what u got.

Well, just browsing through and stumbled across this thread. So glad I found it and gained from the contributions so far, in terms of how people see issues from various perspectives. A friend of mine is facing a very tough situation in her life similar to this one. She's been married for a couple of years, but has only now confessed she had always been in love with someone other than her hubby. Perhaps she may gain something by reading other people's views here - if nothing else, than to gain the basic understanding that she's not alone in facing problems of this sort.

guy remember the 80 - 20 rule, before u loose your wife,


its either ur wife is not doing her marriage job right, or ur oda gal has charmed you

may be ur wife has grown fat and has become un attractive, but that is not an excuse, u can turn ur wife to be a beauty queen,


remember again the 80 - 20 rule,

al the best

It happen.

All u need is God intervention. that's all i have to say.

YOU HAVE TO BE VERY PRAYERFUL. THIS NOT ORDINARY. I'M SURE DAT OTHER WOMAN MUST BE USING CHARM ON YOU. YOU HAVE TO REALIZE YOURSELF ON TIME BECOS IT MIGHT LAND YOU IN A BIG MESS. REBUKE THE DEVIL(UR GIRL FRIEND). AMMEND WAYS WITH YOUR WIFE, BE PRAYERFUL,CREATE TIME FOR YOUR FAMILY AND THINGS WILL FALL INTO PLACE FOR YOU. AS LONG AS YOUR WIFE MAKES YOU COMFORTABLE AT HOME. WHAT YOU FEEL FOR THE OTHER LADY IS LUST. MAYBE YOU ENJOY FUCKING HER PUSSY. ITS A SNARE MY DEAR. GOD WILL HELP YOU

please kindly see a pastor

sombi:

YOU HAVE TO BE VERY PRAYERFUL. THIS NOT ORDINARY. I'M SURE that OTHER WOMAN MUST BE USING CHARM ON YOU. YOU HAVE TO REALIZE YOURSELF ON TIME because IT MIGHT LAND YOU IN A BIG MESS. REBUKE THE DEVIL(UR GIRL FRIEND). AMMEND WAYS WITH YOUR WIFE, BE PRAYERFUL,CREATE TIME FOR YOUR FAMILY AND THINGS WILL FALL INTO PLACE FOR YOU. AS LONG AS YOUR WIFE MAKES YOU COMFORTABLE AT HOME. WHAT YOU FEEL FOR THE OTHER LADY IS LUST. MAYBE YOU ENJOY FUCKING HER PUSSY. ITS A SNARE MY DEAR. GOD WILL HELP YOU

What is not ordinary in a man lusting after another woman? Then all married men commiting adultery are charmed, lol

Well, i hope this guy has straightened his steps and has been able to overcome this adultrous act, the post is 3 years old.

@ poster

u need counselling! catch me online with id "Bluntpis" if u care

Bros, you are a christian as you said, I dont know what kind of christian u r, but if you have a personal relationship with God and the spirit of God dwells in you, you will do what Christ did when He was tempted by the devil because the truth is that it is the devil tempting you and not you falling in love, remember the result of everything will be when the devil will steal, kill and destroy your marriage, God forbid, but that is his duty on earth.

Resis the devil and he will flee. Tell your Heavenly father about what is going on, he will give you the strenght to go on.

God help and bless you

nawao. God pls help and intervene in my bros life quickly

When you think in terms of the spirit world, it is sometimes possible to meet your soul-mate while married or involved in another relationship. This is very natural. If you didn't have a child, I would advise you to follow your heart and be with the woman you are in love with. But being as you have a child in the world, this child and your marriage should always be your first priority. That is why Dr. Phil is telling people to wait until they are at least 30 to marry.

A lot of men marry the wrong woman, because they are impatient. I think you've met your soul-mate. A soul-mate connection is usually very powerful. You probably felt comfortable with her right away. But now that you are married with a child, you've made a promise to God to care for your family, for better or for worst, and that's - that.

Even if you were to take a vacation, and one member suggested, that doesn't mean that you will forget her. She will not be able to forget you either, because it's probably a union that was meant to be. But the timing is off. Just give it some time, you never know what cards life may deal you. Remain her friend and refrain from sexual intimacy with this woman.

Forget d girl.

face your demon,i always tell people to be honest with themselves.first-this other lady knows you are married.let her understand that you love her,appreciate her,respect her person,but you're a married man and that will not change,you're not ready to leave your family and the best you two can be are friends,because in my books even if this is a flash in the pan,the feelings will only go away when you're spent,trust me,it will with time.never ever allow your family to be victim of a temporary situation,enjoy it while it last,but if you're not carefull,who'll be the biggest loser.