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The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Dear Struggling Guys, Avoid These Bad Habits / Only Struggling Guys Come To Me For Serious Relationship / The Bitter Truth For Guys Trying To Maintain Distant Relationships (2) (3) (4)

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Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by LockDown69(m): 9:39am On Aug 20, 2015
On point!
Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by Atlantian: 9:40am On Aug 20, 2015
Kingsasian:
who see wetin you type go think say you dey live in opulence....hahahahahahaha
Depends on what you define as opulence. I am comfortable.

2 Likes

Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by bisdam9086(m): 9:40am On Aug 20, 2015
finditng:


Realistic post indeed...but let me pitch up this simple inverse to your post which you all similar writers, tend to forget...:

Cool...get money...keep your woman happy ....bla bla bla...now here's the turn...who the hell says the objective after making the money should be to please that woman?...why do women have to just slide in with love at that time...who says you as a guy, can't then decide...IF YOU DONT HAVE MY KIND OF MONEY, BOUNCE!..raise your standards boiz and stop giving these girls handouts....I always said it....its OK when down as a guy..keep up the struggle...but if your woman don't stay...no wahala..but please when made don't buy that bullshit love yarns if they ain't got your kind of money or a father that can give them same...simple....

Let's see which gender will weep last last cheesy...
Girls be scamming boiz with looks and they are all dying to become acceptable by these bunch of greedy, lazy, unambitious ladies....lol....

Please please please..upgrade your reasoning men...
Don't let women toy with you via the "bought" presentation of love...because really it is bought when you are made and a broke babe becomes faithful.....bid higher...get one with similar status and not just looks....now let's see where all these hungry girls who demand things that their fathers can't afford them will run to... grin.....unfortunately they constitute about 80% of the female population...

Small evidence: boiz already zoning into Angola, Zimbabwe, mauritius, e.t.c to marry.....lol
You have said it all, absolute truth. Why are the girls always on the receiving end??

1 Like

Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by tunde1200(m): 9:41am On Aug 20, 2015
Weldon guy its really a reality you wrote.
It reminds me of types of controls I rode here on this forum.

Quite intresting to be like this...
Rapmoney:
Ignore this post if you are too lazy to read, please!!!

In life, there are two types of people as regards human reasoning; the idealist and the realist. People who hold idealist view of life see events that happen around them as 'how things ought to be but are not' while people who hold realist view of life see events that happen around them as 'real facts or occurences' and should be accepted without pretending as if we didn't know that this is how things truly are!!!

With deep thoughts, I write this post. I am not afraid to face criticism; neither am I afraid to express my thoughts. I am a realist. I believe that events that happen around us as humans are real!!! Often times, things 'ought to be' in a particular way but in reality, they are not; so it becomes necessary to accept bitter and painful facts! Especially, when they are real!!!

We live in a material world and whether you like it or not, material things play a lot of important roles in our everyday life. As a struggling guy, loving only one girl whole-heartedly might end up leaving you with numerous emotional scars! wink. This is due to the high level of emotional pressure you would put in the relationship and the possible outcome of getting dumped, especially, when you don't have the resources to spice up the relationship. A struggling guy with low funds would find it difficult to spice up his relationship even when he has the intention to do that cool. In order not to lose the girl, he might start being too protective/desparate and pester the girl with phone calls, texts messages and numerous 'I love you's' in order to be assured that he is still loved! Common!!! That's trash! Are you begging to be loved? After displaying all these, she would dispise you and might even dump you because the truth remains the same...relationships without trips, surprises and outings are as boring as hell!!! Pretend at your own risk!!! cool. If truth be told, all young ladies want the good things in life, even those that put up what I call 'social media good face'. You cannot obtain total loyalty from a girl when you are lacking! Don't make the mistake of trying to force her to be loyal; you cannot!!!

Women, sometimes need to feel jealous that their man could be taken anytime by another woman. This can put them back on track when they 'backslide' romantically...but this can only be made easy when you have the resources. She knows fully well that ladies will not flock around you if she leaves you today or tomorrow. Don't love just one lady if you are still on 'struggling mode' wink. The love pressure you would mount on the relationship might make her get fed up quickly with you and eventually get your ass dumped painfully! Again, I am a realist and I am telling you that sooner than later, your ass will be dumped if you don't have the resources to 'oil' the machines of relationships!

As a struggling guy, you should buckle or lace your shoes and tighten your belt very well. You must set your priorities right. There is what economists call 'scale of preference'. What is on top of your scale of preference? Is it your education or career? Or is it trying to please a girl with your meagre earnings all in the name of seeing her pleased with you? Do you want to waste your youthful years trying to please a girl that might end up being married by another dude, who was probably hussling seriously, while you were doing your usual lovey-lovey? Book of Ecclesiastes says 'Money answereth all things'. Take note, 'all things' and not 'some things' cool. Take the pains now and strive to be comfortable and you will avoid the painful experience of trying to please a girl!!! The love between a man and a woman is not AGAPE LOVE, let us stop deceiving ourselves!!! It is not the type of love described in the Synoptic Gospels and in the Epistles of Apostle Paul...it is called EROS and it costs something!!! Yes, the eros love goes for something; it doesn't come with nothing and that's the bitter truth we all need to accept wink

Good morning everyone! cheesy
Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by tupacshakur(m): 9:41am On Aug 20, 2015
Rapmoney:
You cannot obtain total loyalty from a girl when you are lacking! Don't make the mistake of trying to force her to be loyal; you cannot!!!


In other words...

MOB - Money over Bitches!

3 Likes

Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by MistaHumble(m): 9:41am On Aug 20, 2015
For different discussions concerning love & relationships visit: www.issuesoflove.mywapblog.com
Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by Nobody: 9:42am On Aug 20, 2015
Why e be say na broke girls dey always say they can't date a broke guy?And no be say treasure dey them body wey person fit gain besides sex.

9 Likes

Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by Nobody: 9:43am On Aug 20, 2015
Rapmoney:
Ignore this post if you are too lazy to read, please!!!

In life, there are two types of people as regards human reasoning; the idealist and the realist. People who hold idealist view of life see events that happen around them as 'how things ought to be but are not' while people who hold realist view of life see events that happen around them as 'real facts or occurences' and should be accepted without pretending as if we didn't know that this is how things truly are!!!

With deep thoughts, I write this post. I am not afraid to face criticism; neither am I afraid to express my thoughts. I am a realist. I believe that events that happen around us as humans are real!!! Often times, things 'ought to be' in a particular way but in reality, they are not; so it becomes necessary to accept bitter and painful facts! Especially, when they are real!!!

We live in a material world and whether you like it or not, material things play a lot of important roles in our everyday life. As a struggling guy, loving only one girl whole-heartedly might end up leaving you with numerous emotional scars! wink. This is due to the high level of emotional pressure you would put in the relationship and the possible outcome of getting dumped, especially, when you don't have the resources to spice up the relationship. A struggling guy with low funds would find it difficult to spice up his relationship even when he has the intention to do that cool. In order not to lose the girl, he might start being too protective/desparate and pester the girl with phone calls, texts messages and numerous 'I love you's' in order to be assured that he is still loved! Common!!! That's trash! Are you begging to be loved? After displaying all these, she would dispise you and might even dump you because the truth remains the same...relationships without trips, surprises and outings are as boring as hell!!! Pretend at your own risk!!! cool. If truth be told, all young ladies want the good things in life, even those that put up what I call 'social media good face'. You cannot obtain total loyalty from a girl when you are lacking! Don't make the mistake of trying to force her to be loyal; you cannot!!!

Women, sometimes need to feel jealous that their man could be taken anytime by another woman. This can put them back on track when they 'backslide' romantically...but this can only be made easy when you have the resources. She knows fully well that ladies will not flock around you if she leaves you today or tomorrow. Don't love just one lady if you are still on 'struggling mode' wink. The love pressure you would mount on the relationship might make her get fed up quickly with you and eventually get your ass dumped painfully! Again, I am a realist and I am telling you that sooner than later, your ass will be dumped if you don't have the resources to 'oil' the machines of relationships!

As a struggling guy, you should buckle or lace your shoes and tighten your belt very well. You must set your priorities right. There is what economists call 'scale of preference'. What is on top of your scale of preference? Is it your education or career? Or is it trying to please a girl with your meagre earnings all in the name of seeing her pleased with you? Do you want to waste your youthful years trying to please a girl that might end up being married by another dude, who was probably hussling seriously, while you were doing your usual lovey-lovey? Book of Ecclesiastes says 'Money answereth all things'. Take note, 'all things' and not 'some things' cool. Take the pains now and strive to be comfortable and you will avoid the painful experience of trying to please a girl!!! The love between a man and a woman is not AGAPE LOVE, let us stop deceiving ourselves!!! It is not the type of love described in the Synoptic Gospels and in the Epistles of Apostle Paul...it is called EROS and it costs something!!! Yes, the eros love goes for something; it doesn't come with nothing and that's the bitter truth we all need to accept wink

Good morning everyone! cheesy
YOU KNOW WHAT?

THIS YOUR POST ONLY APPLY TO NAIJA WOMAN!
TRY GO OUT SIDE NIGERIA AND SEE THINGS FOR YOURSELF, I HAVE MEET ALOT OF NON-MATERIALISTIC WOMAN WHO JUST WANT NOTHING BUT TO BE LOVE.

NATURALLY NAIJA WOMEN ARE USELESS, THERE FIND LOVE THROUGH MATERIAL THINGS, AND THAT MAKE WE MEN TRY TO DO ANYTHING TO GET MONEY JUST TO CATCH THOSE EEEDIOT (NAIJA WOMEN)

SHALL I HAVE SEEN THE TRUTH!!
NAIJA WOMEN ARE WORTHLES PIECE OF SHITTE!! DON'T STRESS YOURSELF WITH THEM AND SEE THEM COMING YOUR WAY LIKE FLIES

22 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by Nobody: 9:43am On Aug 20, 2015
Kingsasian:
lol... You are right. I don suffer too o. Its not as a result of dull or low i.q but what we thought then. There is absolutely nothing I haven't done within my capabilities for a woman but yet I always find myself at the losing end. So I have decided to save the stress by saving 80% of my little income and give part of the remainder to my mom. I am always moved to tears each time she prays for me after receiving alert and that alone encourages me to do more. These ladies out there have nothing or little to offer than sex. Most of them will tell you that they are not after money but in the actual sense they are because most of them have got nothing doing just liabilities. I don learn my lessons tey tey.

I wrote a reply on the possibility of Nigerian struggling young men following the path of Japanese men. Below is my reply. Link https://www.nairaland.com/2472792/japan-major-too-many-virgin#36208163


A lot of people don't know what is happening in Japan. I had a Japanese friend few yrs ago tell me what's happening in Japan during a visit with my family. The men in Japan are deciding not to have anything to do with their women anymore. They don't chase their women anymore...Japanese women do the chasing now. This guy told that this started when Japanese women started embracing western culture, feeling as though they can replace men natural role as the head of the family with the "strong and independent" mantra ubiquitous in western countries today. Followed by playing hard and difficult to get...wanting their men to be overly financially stable, handsome, tall enough, have a car, a house, a high paying job before he can even get a chance to get a date with the women let alone sleeping. This infuriated the Japanese men, and they began a movement called " Herbivore Men" similar to what is called MGTOW in western countries...meaning, Men Going Their Own Way. In other words, these men are. saying...there is more to life than women; they are no longer interested in women...chikena! They started to boycott women; won't date women nor sleep with them. They refused to even participate in pornography industry...remember there was an article on this on nairaland in march. Link: https://www.nairaland.com/2308362/japanese-porn-industry-hit-shortage

The Japanese men are vowing not to have anything to do with their women until western gynocentric/feminist culture which they see as a threat to their society is brought down. This MGTOW-style movement is strong in Japan than any country in the world. Even young men as 18 don't have a girlfriend; doesn't care to have one nor is he interested in sex. He prefers being a virgin; worst case he goes home and masturbate. He dresses how he wants to dress; he can wear the same clothes for days, he doesn't shave...I mean they don't acknowledge women validation any more. They are more focused on their careers, school, sports, playing video games, financial independence...save their money and live modest lives. If a woman needs help...like for example her car breaks down on the road, the men will just drive by and pretend they didn't see her. The message they are sending is...since you have embraced western, feminist culture and think you can replace the natural position of men, that's fine, but be prepared to do these traditional men jobs yourself.


What has this done to the Japanese society? Marriage and birth rate are all time low. Which has the government and older generation worried...they have never seen anything like this before. Women now chase men. Women are now begging men to date them. Most women are tired of being alone. Some are even paying to sleep with men. It's crazy in Japan I tell you. The same movement is making gain in US now. Research about MGTOW! Men in general are no longer interested in modern women. Men as old as 40 have no wife or girlfriend. If he wants sex...he masturbates or pay for an escort. That's it...all they are saying is, we want nothing to do with modern women.

Google about Japanese Herbivore men. I did a research on this last yr...that's why I'm very knowledgeable about it. I took my time to put this in context; explain this because someone who reads the OP article will just assume something is wrong with the men especially with the article not providing reason why this is happening; NO Nothing is wrong with them, they have had a enough of today's women and choosing to be celibate by choice!

22 Likes 2 Shares

Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by Toks2008(m): 9:43am On Aug 20, 2015
Rapmoney:
Ignore this post if you are too lazy to read, please!!!

In life, there are two types of people as regards human reasoning; the idealist and the realist. People who hold idealist view of life see events that happen around them as 'how things ought to be but are not' while people who hold realist view of life see events that happen around them as 'real facts or occurences' and should be accepted without pretending as if we didn't know that this is how things truly are!!!

With deep thoughts, I write this post. I am not afraid to face criticism; neither am I afraid to express my thoughts. I am a realist. I believe that events that happen around us as humans are real!!! Often times, things 'ought to be' in a particular way but in reality, they are not; so it becomes necessary to accept bitter and painful facts! Especially, when they are real!!!

We live in a material world and whether you like it or not, material things play a lot of important roles in our everyday life. As a struggling guy, loving only one girl whole-heartedly might end up leaving you with numerous emotional scars! wink. This is due to the high level of emotional pressure you would put in the relationship and the possible outcome of getting dumped, especially, when you don't have the resources to spice up the relationship. A struggling guy with low funds would find it difficult to spice up his relationship even when he has the intention to do that cool. In order not to lose the girl, he might start being too protective/desparate and pester the girl with phone calls, texts messages and numerous 'I love you's' in order to be assured that he is still loved! Common!!! That's trash! Are you begging to be loved? After displaying all these, she would dispise you and might even dump you because the truth remains the same...relationships without trips, surprises and outings are as boring as hell!!! Pretend at your own risk!!! cool. If truth be told, all young ladies want the good things in life, even those that put up what I call 'social media good face'. You cannot obtain total loyalty from a girl when you are lacking! Don't make the mistake of trying to force her to be loyal; you cannot!!!

Women, sometimes need to feel jealous that their man could be taken anytime by another woman. This can put them back on track when they 'backslide' romantically...but this can only be made easy when you have the resources. She knows fully well that ladies will not flock around you if she leaves you today or tomorrow. Don't love just one lady if you are still on 'struggling mode' wink. The love pressure you would mount on the relationship might make her get fed up quickly with you and eventually get your ass dumped painfully! Again, I am a realist and I am telling you that sooner than later, your ass will be dumped if you don't have the resources to 'oil' the machines of relationships!

As a struggling guy, you should buckle or lace your shoes and tighten your belt very well. You must set your priorities right. There is what economists call 'scale of preference'. What is on top of your scale of preference? Is it your education or career? Or is it trying to please a girl with your meagre earnings all in the name of seeing her pleased with you? Do you want to waste your youthful years trying to please a girl that might end up being married by another dude, who was probably hussling seriously, while you were doing your usual lovey-lovey? Book of Ecclesiastes says 'Money answereth all things'. Take note, 'all things' and not 'some things' cool. Take the pains now and strive to be comfortable and you will avoid the painful experience of trying to please a girl!!! The love between a man and a woman is not AGAPE LOVE, let us stop deceiving ourselves!!! It is not the type of love described in the Synoptic Gospels and in the Epistles of Apostle Paul...it is called EROS and it costs something!!! Yes, the eros love goes for something; it doesn't come with nothing and that's the bitter truth we all need to accept wink

Good morning everyone! cheesy

I appreciate your epistle but this is typical for the Nigerian society.

I expect an article to teach ladies to be financially independent but here you are encouraging materialism as a norm in the subliminal nature of ladies.

One question i will never stop asking is this..What if you eventually bait a lady so to speak with the financial comfort and then it stops? what happens afterwards? i guess the girl dumps your ass for the next happening guy right?


I know guys who have been in situations where steady income of good dough was coming in for years and when they faced temporary setbacks,the ladies in their lives left so what do you say to this? that these guys aren't hard working?

People lose jobs,business fails,nothing is certain in life except death.My advice is that our NIGERIAN ladies should try to be financially independent which is not hinged on getting a job alone as there are other means of making a livelihood.

Yes we know that ladies are attracted to wealth but if every Nigerian lady becomes independent financially, we will have more purposeful relationships because they will start loving a man for the right reason and then and only then, even a very poooor struggling guy will focus on a lady rather than having erratic and irrational made belief love for many ladies as you just opined as a prerequisite to cushion a possible heartbreak from a supposed materialistic money monger.

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by Nobody: 9:43am On Aug 20, 2015
Kingsasian:
the truth be say you can never satisfy a woman no matter how hard you try to or no matter how much you spend on them. I know of many of my friends wey no get shi shi before yet their gf stuck to them till they got married. A serious and wife material suppose dey tell you how to make money and save for future use. If you like take her out on trips, get her some nice clothes, give her money all the time, if she wan leave you she go still leave you for someone who has more than you. I would rather spend such money on my mother who sacrificed a lot for me and that is exactly what I am doing. No lady is worth my sweat for now. They deserve the crumbs that falls from my table.


That's real talk homes
If a man is lucky to get such while broke then good for him
for those who are made I guess they have to just stay positive grin
Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by littlemistress: 9:45am On Aug 20, 2015
Kingsasian:
the truth be say you can never satisfy a woman no matter how hard you try to or no matter how much you spend on them. I know of many of my friends wey no get shi shi before yet their gf stuck to them till they got married. A serious and wife material suppose dey tell you how to make money and save for future use. If you like take her out on trips, get her some nice clothes, give her money all the time, if she wan leave you she go still leave you for someone who has more than you. I would rather spend such money on my mother who sacrificed a lot for me and that is exactly what I am doing. No lady is worth my sweat for now. They deserve the crumbs that falls from my table.

bros, which woman break ur heart?
you dey vex no be small

2 Likes

Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by Kingsasian(m): 9:45am On Aug 20, 2015
BUTCHCASSIDY:



That's real talk homes
If a man is lucky to get such while broke then good for him
for those who are made I guess they have to just stay positive grin
lol
Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by Nobody: 9:45am On Aug 20, 2015
My candid advice 4 any broke nigga: set ur priorities righ, concentrate on making gud cash, n I tell ya, chics wud b flocking around ur dwelling...bt then even as a broke guy, if u r lucky 2 find a gal who truly luvs u despite d situation, then stick wit her 2 d end bt dnt 4get 2 make moni...in d nigerian version of relationships, moni dictates and answereth all tinz, tho av seen naija gals who are exceptions bt then dey are very rare to come by.....

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by Nobody: 9:46am On Aug 20, 2015
new2020:


I wrote a reply on the possibility of Nigerian young men following the path of Japanese men. Below is my reply. Link https://www.nairaland.com/2472792/japan-major-too-many-virgin#36208163


A lot of people don't know what is happening in Japan. I had a Japanese friend few yrs ago tell me what's happening in Japan during a visit with my family. The men in Japan are deciding not to have anything to do with their women anymore. They don't chase their women anymore...Japanese women do the chasing now. This guy told that this started when Japanese women started embracing western culture, feeling as though they can replace men natural role as the head of the family with the "strong and independent" mantra ubiquitous in western countries today. Followed by playing hard and difficult to get...wanting their men to be overly financially stable, handsome, tall enough, have a car, a house, a high paying job before he can even get a chance to get a date with the women let alone sleeping. This infuriated the Japanese men, and they began a movement called " Herbivore Men" similar to what is called MGTOW in western countries...meaning, Men Going Their Own Way. In other words, these men are. saying...there is more to life than women; they are no longer interested in women...chikena! They started to boycott women; won't date women nor sleep with them. They refused to even participate in pornography industry...remember there was an article on this on nairaland in march. Link: https://www.nairaland.com/2308362/japanese-porn-industry-hit-shortage

The Japanese men are vowing not to have anything to do with their women until western gynocentric/feminist culture which they see as a threat to their society is brought down. This MGTOW-style movement is strong in Japan than any country in the world. Even young men as 18 don't have a girlfriend; doesn't care to have one nor is he interested in sex. He prefers being a virgin; worst case he goes home and masturbate. He dresses how he wants to dress; he can wear the same clothes for days, he doesn't shave...I mean they don't acknowledge women validation any more. They are more focused on their careers, school, sports, playing video games, financial independence...save their money and live modest lives. If a woman needs help...like for example her car breaks down on the road, the men will just drive by and pretend they didn't see her. The message they are sending is...since you have embraced western, feminist culture and think you can replace the natural position of men, that's fine, but be prepared to do these traditional men jobs yourself.


What has this done to the Japanese society? Marriage and birth rate are all time low. Which has the government and older generation worried...they have never seen anything like this before. Women now chase men. Women are now begging men to date them. Most women are tired of being alone. Some are even paying to sleep with men. It's crazy in Japan I tell you. The same movement is making gain in US now. Research about MGTOW! Men in general are no longer interested in modern women. Men as old as 40 have no wife or girlfriend. If he wants sex...he masturbates or pay for an escort. That's it...all they are saying is, we want nothing to do with modern women.

Google about Japanese Herbivore men. I did a research on this last yr...that's why I'm very knowledgeable about it. I took my time to put this in context; explain this because someone who reads the OP article will just assume something is wrong with the men especially with the article not providing reason why this is happening; NO Nothing is wrong with them, they have had a enough of today's women and choosing to be celibate by choice!

Yeah Japan had that MGTOW ideology before the West caught on.. and look how successful the vast majority of Japanese are as a result.

4 Likes

Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by Acidosis(m): 9:46am On Aug 20, 2015
Who is a struggling guy?

1 Like

Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by Nobody: 9:47am On Aug 20, 2015
boboLIL:
For the records,,,Na guys wey no get moni de love pass.....na dem de jealousy pass..... grin ..if the bae strts acting strange.....d guy wil ask her,,,is it cos I don't av money? grin grin
grin grin grin grin...oboy na to work na him sure pass...when you see where babes dey beg chevron staff them you go know say you need cash to make girls dey loyal... grin grin...but love important o..if you sabi love well well then get money ya own don better be that...
Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by ronald4lif(m): 9:49am On Aug 20, 2015
classicB:
.what is this OP trying to say? That broke guys can't.find.true love?? I know it's rare but it happens. You guys need to set your standard right undecided no girl is ready to date u when u were broke but girls are not begging to date you cos you havr money, cnt u guys see that these kinda girl are not in for the love but for the money
A rich guy should date a rich babe, an independent one for that matter not a broke ass girl.
A woman that loves you will truly stay whether or not u have money. Money cannot buy love, it can only bring the wrong girl if you're not careful.
Consider the love stories of some of our celebrities that started out as a broke girlfriend and boyfriend, now they are making it real big! That's true love, a love that can stand the test of time, not an "already made man" like some females will say whereas they have no money themselves o

Affluent guys don't need love to have a blasting relationship. Companionship, happiness and good sex is all they need. Whoever says or think a man need true love to be in a happy relationship has a long way to experience the real side of life. Treat a woman right, take her to the right shops, lavish trips and exotic whips and watch her do your bidding so what do one need love for? Besides, if riches can't buy love then brokenness stands no chance.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by shejane: 9:49am On Aug 20, 2015
As maggi is to food .. So is money to relationships

But u can still eat food without maggi the same way you can be in a relationship without money


Money shouldn't be the no1 thing in a relationship but money is "very" important ina relationship no matter how little it is

1 Like

Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by BobUg28(m): 9:49am On Aug 20, 2015
Aha!...Op you literally hit the point. That's exactly what many people(guys) fail to understand when it comes to relationship matters.

The ideology that many guys have is that badging into a relationship is synonymous with taking up the burden/lifting of the lady to their stead which is generally wrong.

As a hustling dude, aside giving a lady my time to show her the love and care I have for her , I don't believe in the general consensus that their financial services solely and exclusively belongs to me.

I always make this know to them from the outset to avoid blame game when the relationship officially kicks off.
Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by adorable29(f): 9:52am On Aug 20, 2015
markmira:

then how hw come ti's gf got pregnant 4 a man wit no class.u black men nd ur poor mentality.

Some black men especially our Naija guy's mentality sucks, I tell you....

Firstly "who is a struggling guy"?

Cos in this country, at least 90percent of the men are struggling if you ask me. So when does the struggling end that you now decide you want a woman who you can use ur "struggled money" to finally settle down with... This writer thinks he knows women!

The women who even accepts to date you in the first place when you are dirt poor is probably and highly likely the one who LOVES YOU FOR YOU....

So much bull crap on the internet this days...

If you can't find a woman to love you when you are a broke ass niccur, its probably because your attitude su_cks untop your poverty... Funny enough, some girls still fall in love with broke assss niccurs with bad attitude and abusive tendencies. They are so many of them on campus here.

Its not necessary I post a personal experience on a public forum but for the first one year I dated my boo, he could only give me #500 which I rejected. Lol . Ironically, even tho he is doing well now, I loved him more when he had nothing cos of course, his attitude has changed now God has blessed him and he thinks he can get all the women in the world.

Just live life as it presents and stop all this immature hard and fast rules rubbish you come up with based on YOUR OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCE of a girl dumping you
. OTHER STRUGGLING GUYS STILL FIND TRUE LOVE. Sadly, they are likely to dump the "true love" when they dive into big cash for a more beautiful gold digger. #FACT

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Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by Nobody: 9:52am On Aug 20, 2015
Kingsasian:
lol... You are right. I don suffer too o. Its not as a result of dull or low i.q but what we thought then. There is absolutely nothing I haven't done within my capabilities for a woman but yet I always find myself at the losing end. So I have decided to save the stress by saving 80% of my little income and give part of the remainder to my mom. I am always moved to tears each time she prays for me after receiving alert and that alone encourages me to do more. These ladies out there have nothing or little to offer than sex. Most of them will tell you that they are not after money but in the actual sense they are because most of them have got nothing doing just liabilities. I don learn my lessons tey tey.
TRUE BROTHERS, I HAVE ONCE GO THROUGH THAT KIND OF STRESS, THE WORSE PART IS THAT YOU PUT ALL YOUR ENERGY INTO IT WHILE SHE ON THE OTHER PART PUT IN LITTLE OR NO ENERGY, AND SHE IS ALWAYS AT THE RECEIVING END WHILE YOU ARE AT THE LOSING END.

LIKE SERIOUS! NAIJA WOMEN ARE NOT WORTH THE STRESS.

2 Likes

Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by Oklander: 9:54am On Aug 20, 2015
Lots of truth in these thread. ...kudos Rapmoney.

2 Likes

Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by banmaster(m): 9:54am On Aug 20, 2015
Word I love this, nice one bro




Rapmoney:
Ignore this post if you are too lazy to read, please!!!

In life, there are two types of people as regards human reasoning; the idealist and the realist. People who hold idealist view of life see events that happen around them as 'how things ought to be but are not' while people who hold realist view of life see events that happen around them as 'real facts or occurences' and should be accepted without pretending as if we didn't know that this is how things truly are!!!

With deep thoughts, I write this post. I am not afraid to face criticism; neither am I afraid to express my thoughts. I am a realist. I believe that events that happen around us as humans are real!!! Often times, things 'ought to be' in a particular way but in reality, they are not; so it becomes necessary to accept bitter and painful facts! Especially, when they are real!!!

We live in a material world and whether you like it or not, material things play a lot of important roles in our everyday life. As a struggling guy, loving only one girl whole-heartedly might end up leaving you with numerous emotional scars! wink. This is due to the high level of emotional pressure you would put in the relationship and the possible outcome of getting dumped, especially, when you don't have the resources to spice up the relationship. A struggling guy with low funds would find it difficult to spice up his relationship even when he has the intention to do that cool. In order not to lose the girl, he might start being too protective/desparate and pester the girl with phone calls, texts messages and numerous 'I love you's' in order to be assured that he is still loved! Common!!! That's trash! Are you begging to be loved? After displaying all these, she would dispise you and might even dump you because the truth remains the same...relationships without trips, surprises and outings are as boring as hell!!! Pretend at your own risk!!! cool. If truth be told, all young ladies want the good things in life, even those that put up what I call 'social media good face'. You cannot obtain total loyalty from a girl when you are lacking! Don't make the mistake of trying to force her to be loyal; you cannot!!!

Women, sometimes need to feel jealous that their man could be taken anytime by another woman. This can put them back on track when they 'backslide' romantically...but this can only be made easy when you have the resources. She knows fully well that ladies will not flock around you if she leaves you today or tomorrow. Don't love just one lady if you are still on 'struggling mode' wink. The love pressure you would mount on the relationship might make her get fed up quickly with you and eventually get your ass dumped painfully! Again, I am a realist and I am telling you that sooner than later, your ass will be dumped if you don't have the resources to 'oil' the machines of relationships!

As a struggling guy, you should buckle or lace your shoes and tighten your belt very well. You must set your priorities right. There is what economists call 'scale of preference'. What is on top of your scale of preference? Is it your education or career? Or is it trying to please a girl with your meagre earnings all in the name of seeing her pleased with you? Do you want to waste your youthful years trying to please a girl that might end up being married by another dude, who was probably hussling seriously, while you were doing your usual lovey-lovey? Book of Ecclesiastes says 'Money answereth all things'. Take note, 'all things' and not 'some things' cool. Take the pains now and strive to be comfortable and you will avoid the painful experience of trying to please a girl!!! The love between a man and a woman is not AGAPE LOVE, let us stop deceiving ourselves!!! It is not the type of love described in the Synoptic Gospels and in the Epistles of Apostle Paul...it is called EROS and it costs something!!! Yes, the eros love goes for something; it doesn't come with nothing and that's the bitter truth we all need to accept wink

Good morning everyone! cheesy

1 Like

Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by Kingsasian(m): 9:55am On Aug 20, 2015
new2020:


I wrote a reply on the possibility of Nigerian young men following the path of Japanese men. Below is my reply. Link https://www.nairaland.com/2472792/japan-major-too-many-virgin#36208163


A lot of people don't know what is happening in Japan. I had a Japanese friend few yrs ago tell me what's happening in Japan during a visit with my family. The men in Japan are deciding not to have anything to do with their women anymore. They don't chase their women anymore...Japanese women do the chasing now. This guy told that this started when Japanese women started embracing western culture, feeling as though they can replace men natural role as the head of the family with the "strong and independent" mantra ubiquitous in western countries today. Followed by playing hard and difficult to get...wanting their men to be overly financially stable, handsome, tall enough, have a car, a house, a high paying job before he can even get a chance to get a date with the women let alone sleeping. This infuriated the Japanese men, and they began a movement called " Herbivore Men" similar to what is called MGTOW in western countries...meaning, Men Going Their Own Way. In other words, these men are. saying...there is more to life than women; they are no longer interested in women...chikena! They started to boycott women; won't date women nor sleep with them. They refused to even participate in pornography industry...remember there was an article on this on nairaland in march. Link: https://www.nairaland.com/2308362/japanese-porn-industry-hit-shortage

The Japanese men are vowing not to have anything to do with their women until western gynocentric/feminist culture which they see as a threat to their society is brought down. This MGTOW-style movement is strong in Japan than any country in the world. Even young men as 18 don't have a girlfriend; doesn't care to have one nor is he interested in sex. He prefers being a virgin; worst case he goes home and masturbate. He dresses how he wants to dress; he can wear the same clothes for days, he doesn't shave...I mean they don't acknowledge women validation any more. They are more focused on their careers, school, sports, playing video games, financial independence...save their money and live modest lives. If a woman needs help...like for example her car breaks down on the road, the men will just drive by and pretend they didn't see her. The message they are sending is...since you have embraced western, feminist culture and think you can replace the natural position of men, that's fine, but be prepared to do these traditional men jobs yourself.


What has this done to the Japanese society? Marriage and birth rate are all time low. Which has the government and older generation worried...they have never seen anything like this before. Women now chase men. Women are now begging men to date them. Most women are tired of being alone. Some are even paying to sleep with men. It's crazy in Japan I tell you. The same movement is making gain in US now. Research about MGTOW! Men in general are no longer interested in modern women. Men as old as 40 have no wife or girlfriend. If he wants sex...he masturbates or pay for an escort. That's it...all they are saying is, we want nothing to do with modern women.

Google about Japanese Herbivore men. I did a research on this last yr...that's why I'm very knowledgeable about it. I took my time to put this in context; explain this because someone who reads the OP article will just assume something is wrong with the men especially with the article not providing reason why this is happening; NO Nothing is wrong with them, they have had a enough of today's women and choosing to be celibate by choice!
I wish the guys in naija would do same. Seriously, what the heil do nigerian ladies take us for? They expect us to become millionaires over night just because of them or what? Can't they see the economic situation of this country? The situation of this country now, thanks to our leaders is no longer favourable to our youths most especially graduates. Is it a crime for a lady to come up to her bf and ask for the both of them to establish a business, something that can generate the much needed funds or finances? All they just want is a guy to go manufacture a job from nowhere and start making it big over night just to come satisfy their selfish desires. Anyway sha I have changed my mindset, if she isn't a graduate or working class I no dey date.

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by fnep2smooth(m): 9:57am On Aug 20, 2015
Rapmoney:
Ignore this post if you are too lazy to read, please!!!

In life, there are two types of people as regards human reasoning; the idealist and the realist. People who hold idealist view of life see events that happen around them as 'how things ought to be but are not' while people who hold realist view of life see events that happen around them as 'real facts or occurences' and should be accepted without pretending as if we didn't know that this is how things truly are!!!

With deep thoughts, I write this post. I am not afraid to face criticism; neither am I afraid to express my thoughts. I am a realist. I believe that events that happen around us as humans are real!!! Often times, things 'ought to be' in a particular way but in reality, they are not; so it becomes necessary to accept bitter and painful facts! Especially, when they are real!!!

We live in a material world and whether you like it or not, material things play a lot of important roles in our everyday life. As a struggling guy, loving only one girl whole-heartedly might end up leaving you with numerous emotional scars! wink. This is due to the high level of emotional pressure you would put in the relationship and the possible outcome of getting dumped, especially, when you don't have the resources to spice up the relationship. A struggling guy with low funds would find it difficult to spice up his relationship even when he has the intention to do that cool. In order not to lose the girl, he might start being too protective/desparate and pester the girl with phone calls, texts messages and numerous 'I love you's' in order to be assured that he is still loved! Common!!! That's trash! Are you begging to be loved? After displaying all these, she would dispise you and might even dump you because the truth remains the same...relationships without trips, surprises and outings are as boring as hell!!! Pretend at your own risk!!! cool. If truth be told, all young ladies want the good things in life, even those that put up what I call 'social media good face'. You cannot obtain total loyalty from a girl when you are lacking! Don't make the mistake of trying to force her to be loyal; you cannot!!!

Women, sometimes need to feel jealous that their man could be taken anytime by another woman. This can put them back on track when they 'backslide' romantically...but this can only be made easy when you have the resources. She knows fully well that ladies will not flock around you if she leaves you today or tomorrow. Don't love just one lady if you are still on 'struggling mode' wink. The love pressure you would mount on the relationship might make her get fed up quickly with you and eventually get your ass dumped painfully! Again, I am a realist and I am telling you that sooner than later, your ass will be dumped if you don't have the resources to 'oil' the machines of relationships!

As a struggling guy, you should buckle or lace your shoes and tighten your belt very well. You must set your priorities right. There is what economists call 'scale of preference'. What is on top of your scale of preference? Is it your education or career? Or is it trying to please a girl with your meagre earnings all in the name of seeing her pleased with you? Do you want to waste your youthful years trying to please a girl that might end up being married by another dude, who was probably hussling seriously, while you were doing your usual lovey-lovey? Book of Ecclesiastes says 'Money answereth all things'. Take note, 'all things' and not 'some things' cool. Take the pains now and strive to be comfortable and you will avoid the painful experience of trying to please a girl!!! The love between a man and a woman is not AGAPE LOVE, let us stop deceiving ourselves!!! It is not the type of love described in the Synoptic Gospels and in the Epistles of Apostle Paul...it is called EROS and it costs something!!! Yes, the eros love goes for something; it doesn't come with nothing and that's the bitter truth we all need to accept wink

Good morning everyone! cheesy

Bro you write this because of me......am the struggling type and I got dump 2days ago.

Reason: she is fade up with my love and she need cash to look fly like other girls even when I have to make her see reasons that she should bear with me for a while, things will be better. But I guess I was romantic enough (money aspect)

Thanks for this....... I now feel strong and better

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by Grundig: 9:58am On Aug 20, 2015
Apt.

Guys, if I might add. . . .

When you begin to make ends meet you MUST and I repeat you MUST not settle for just about any girl. Any female who doesn't have plans or goals must as a matter of fact and urgency be avoided.

Now, I'm not saying avoid a girl who doesn't have a job or business. There are many females whod excel if they had the chance. When you spend time with a female you'd know the kind of person she is.

7 Likes

Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by omobenluv(f): 9:58am On Aug 20, 2015
boboLIL:
For the records,,,Na guys wey no get moni de love pass.....na dem de jealousy pass..... grin ..if the bae strts acting strange.....d guy wil ask her,,,is it cos I don't av money? grin grin
Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by Nobody: 10:00am On Aug 20, 2015
Kingsasian:
I wish the guys in naija would do same. Seriously, what the heil do nigerian ladies take us for? They expect us to become millionaires over night just because of them or what? Can't they see the economic situation of this country? The situation of this country now, thanks to our leaders is no longer favourable to our youths most especially graduates. Is it a crime for a lady to come up to her bf and ask for the both of them to establish a business, something that can generate the much needed funds or finances? All they just want is a guy to go manufacture a job from nowhere and start making it big over night just to come satisfy their selfish desires. Anyway sha I have changed my mindset, if she isn't a graduate or working class I no dey date.

Nah most Nigerian girls aren't willing to create anything with their partner. They'd rather sick him dry of his resources.. I hope more Nigerian men wake up to the foolish games these broads play.

2 Likes

Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by Nobody: 10:00am On Aug 20, 2015
Kingsasian:
the truth be say you can never satisfy a woman no matter how hard you try to or no matter how much you spend on them. I know of many of my friends wey no get shi shi before yet their gf stuck to them till they got married. A serious and wife material suppose dey tell you how to make money and save for future use. If you like take her out on trips, get her some nice clothes, give her money all the time, if she wan leave you she go still leave you for someone who has more than you. I would rather spend such money on my mother who sacrificed a lot for me and that is exactly what I am doing. No lady is worth my sweat for now. They deserve the crumbs that falls from my table .
grin grin LOLZZZ!

KING ARTHUR.

NL GUYS WON MAKE NAIJA WOMEN GET HEART ATTACK grin grin

LIKE SERIOUS THOSE ANIMALS DON DO GUYS STRONG THING grin grin

2 Likes

Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by dopeJemi: 10:01am On Aug 20, 2015
finditng:


Realistic post indeed...but let me pitch up this simple inverse to your post which you all similar writers, tend to forget...:

Cool...get money...keep your woman happy ....bla bla bla...now here's the turn...who the hell says the objective after making the money should be to please that woman?...why do women have to just slide in with love at that time...who says you as a guy, can't then decide...IF YOU DONT HAVE MY KIND OF MONEY, BOUNCE!..raise your standards boiz and stop giving these girls handouts....I always said it....its OK when down as a guy..keep up the struggle...but if your woman don't stay...no wahala..but please when made don't buy that bullshit love yarns if they ain't got your kind of money or a father that can give them same...simple....

Let's see which gender will weep last last cheesy...
Girls be scamming boiz with looks and they are all dying to become acceptable by these bunch of greedy, lazy, unambitious ladies....lol....

Please please please..upgrade your reasoning men...
Don't let women toy with you via the "bought" presentation of love...because really it is bought when you are made and a broke babe becomes faithful.....bid higher...get one with similar status and not just looks....now let's see where all these hungry girls who demand things that their fathers can't afford them will run to... grin.....unfortunately they constitute about 80% of the female population...

Small evidence: boiz already zoning into Angola, Zimbabwe, mauritius, e.t.c to marry.....lol


Somebody give this man a MEDAL!!!

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Bitter Truth For Struggling Guys In Relationships by no1madman(m): 10:05am On Aug 20, 2015
EggovinMma:
kiss

One sensible guy.
u think so?

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