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Baked Beans - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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Baked Beans by blissieng(f): 6:53pm On Mar 26, 2009
If this doesn't make you laugh out loud, nothing will!!

Once upon a time, there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.

Then one day she met a man and fell in love.

When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on."
So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later her car broke down on her way home from work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home.

On her way, she passed a small diner and the odour of the baked beans was more than she could stand.

Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had
consumed three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it.

Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly,
"Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang.

He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the telephone. The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of pulpwood
mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage.

Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the telephone farewells signalled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.

She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!!


There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a
"Happy Birthday"!!!
Re: Baked Beans by olulu(m): 7:04pm On Mar 26, 2009
stale

but tite sha


grin grin grin grin
Re: Baked Beans by blissieng(f): 7:17pm On Mar 26, 2009
where ya own?

You think say e easi to dey good @ joke n Writing? ie Lit n writing section,


Mi I give myself hand jo!
Re: Baked Beans by donsponky(m): 12:07am On Mar 27, 2009
Monkey no fine but her mama like her so, tongue
Re: Baked Beans by olulu(m): 8:43am On Mar 27, 2009
blissieng:

where ya own?

You think say e easi to dey good @ joke n Writing? ie Lit n writing section,


Mi I give myself hand jo!

where my own

check dem out,
they ain't copy and paste, they 100% original

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-226371.0.html

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-233228.0.html


don't mean to blow me trumpet, lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

but, what da heck . . . . . . . . . tongue tongue tongue
i blow it anyway grin grin grin
Re: Baked Beans by blissieng(f): 9:33am On Mar 27, 2009
I said jokes, not writing!

Na only you sabi write?

Copy n paste? Who doesn't? It becomes a problem if that's all you do, Since that ain't me - walk jare.
Re: Baked Beans by jamace(m): 5:21pm On Mar 29, 2009
grin Wa o. Kai, if na me eh, i for faint out of shame. grin grin
Re: Baked Beans by olulu(m): 8:31am On Mar 30, 2009
blissieng:

I said jokes, not writing!

Na only you sabi write?

Copy n paste? Who doesn't? It becomes a problem if that's all you do, Since that ain't me - walk jare.

u b copy and paste master mistress, yet to c an original joke thot of and done by u . . . . . .
but well, it's all good, we can't all b original, so no worry, no take u for who u are,
da rob n dub master mistress
grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Re: Baked Beans by blissieng(f): 8:38am On Mar 30, 2009
Ur opinion, a rather irrelevant one. Like I said keep walking till u find originals, There,
Re: Baked Beans by Ben13: 9:15am On Mar 30, 2009
this is serious!
Re: Baked Beans by olulu(m): 9:16am On Mar 30, 2009
blissieng:

Ur opinion, a rather irrelevant one. Like I said keep walking till u find originals, There,

my opinion, which is d truth,
and well, truth hurts

pele   grin grin

anyway, i will manage u like dat

grin grin grin grin grin






am not on ur case o, just havin me fun
Re: Baked Beans by Ben13: 9:20am On Mar 30, 2009
now, please move to the fighting session.
Re: Baked Beans by blissieng(f): 9:57am On Mar 30, 2009
It is self degrading to have fun to other ppls detriment.

It just goes to show how less of a man boi you are.
Re: Baked Beans by romsky: 10:01am On Mar 30, 2009
all dis pikins self
Re: Baked Beans by blissieng(f): 10:03am On Mar 30, 2009
Romade,

it takes one to know one.
Re: Baked Beans by romsky: 10:04am On Mar 30, 2009
bia did u mistakenly post dat u wrote the joke yaself
omo rethink am cus e be lyk say na d wrong one u post
Re: Baked Beans by Ben13: 10:07am On Mar 30, 2009
this is monday morning o

no insults, please
Re: Baked Beans by blissieng(f): 10:31am On Mar 30, 2009
read Roma! Learn to read!

You'd be surprised how amazing you'd feel. The amazing feeling of knowing how to read everything rather than insinuate what u think might have been written.
Re: Baked Beans by romsky: 10:34am On Mar 30, 2009
i said ur thread is copy paasted
Re: Baked Beans by studio43(m): 10:39am On Mar 30, 2009
romade free this gurl na grin

even if na copy paste, how 's it your business?
Re: Baked Beans by Ben13: 10:41am On Mar 30, 2009
that's his job.
Re: Baked Beans by studio43(m): 10:43am On Mar 30, 2009
one of the effects of economy reccessions i guess
Re: Baked Beans by olulu(m): 10:47am On Mar 30, 2009
blissieng:

It is self degrading to have fun to other ppls detriment.

It just goes to show how less of a man boi you are.

too bad u feel dis bad about it, i didn't set out to degrade anybody
cos i only tasi / yab people i like e.g ram-made aka romade    grin grin

well, if u think am less of man, and more of a boi, or more man than boi, or d both of them,
or d 2 both of them, or d 2 both of all of dem, or everything both of all of dem,    

make u enter d place, make we c if u no go carry lipsrsealed , . . . . .belly too    lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

grin grin grin grin


bliss love, just messin with u head, try b a good sport
Re: Baked Beans by studio43(m): 10:52am On Mar 30, 2009
even if she follow u enter d place, NA WHAT'SUP U GO TALK, nor be sey u get any point to prove grin
Re: Baked Beans by blissieng(f): 10:57am On Mar 30, 2009
messing wiv my head?

LOL Warajoke.

I must warn u though - I tend to give as much and more than I get.

Oh! And ten of u aint man enuff to mess wiv my head.
Re: Baked Beans by Ben13: 11:01am On Mar 30, 2009
this is becoming serious shocked
Re: Baked Beans by studio43(m): 11:04am On Mar 30, 2009
lol,
wetin we go do dis gurl? grin
Re: Baked Beans by Lolabbey: 11:05am On Mar 30, 2009
whatever
Re: Baked Beans by studio43(m): 11:08am On Mar 30, 2009
lola welcome , How market?
Re: Baked Beans by Ben13: 11:11am On Mar 30, 2009
studio43:

lol,
wetin we go do dis gurl? grin
Let's introduce her to Jackie Chan.
Re: Baked Beans by studio43(m): 11:16am On Mar 30, 2009
why jackie chan, when samuel peter be your brother?
Re: Baked Beans by romsky: 11:19am On Mar 30, 2009
una tu talk abeg act b4 she gets out of hand

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