stjudas:


Thank you for the advice...I dont want to get involved in the decision making but I still want her to make the right decision. Na why I bring my matta here.

Not your matter but her matter. Why is her matter giving you sleepless night? Afterall its her life not yours

ladyF:
she needs wisdom....

blazetitov:
Leave her to her faith and wish her all the best.

cyprus000:

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Lol.. very funny _idiot. This just proved my assertion about your daftness...*spits*
If you aren't an ineffable corpulent microphallus and a cesspool of sub human filth.
You would be able to deduce when a person type in abbreviation
. But being a pyscho/sapiopath you are. All your brain could sum up is shitt.
for the fact that an infinitesimal vapid scum lyk u, is allowed to roam and even have access to cyber space, means that we don't have "animal control" system in this country or dey are not competent for the job.
Wat a brainscooped lummox.
**pity your existance**
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missmary:
I think i just fell in Love with Op.. .. Seems like you truly love her... Let her do her will but with this i think she should be reconsidering..

stjudas:
Good day people. I am a Corps member of 2015 batch A. I have a girlfriend in her third year in school. Sincerely, I love her but she's hell bent on getting married. I am far from ready and there is this guy she dated few years back for few months before he traveled to India. This guy is really disturbing my girl, promising to marry her as soon as he returns to Nigeria next month. In fact, Dec. 30 has been scheduled for Introduction. Now my problem isn't her leaving me, but for the wrong person. I suspect he's a very bad guy and would make her cry. I tried convincing her to wait for better man even if it wasn't going to be me that all I cared about was her happiness. So, fellow Nairalanders how do I convince her and what way is best to go about this? Below is a message I sent her on Facebook and all she replied was "thank you," and soon she called me and started crying. I inquired why she was crying but she said she doesn't know and hung up. Pls, no insults. Don't tell me I should be thinking of how to get a job or start a small business 'cause it's all in my plans. Your contributions will be appreciated. Thanks.
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JUST BEFORE DECEMBER 30.

Bury this little piece in your heart, I took my time to write it for you. It's no cynicism so don't get it twisted. Marriage is a lifetime commitment; once you're in, you're in. Don't ignore the warning signals, it could be very fatal.

1. COURT HIM AGAIN: Don't assume he's the cool guy you use to know. Try courting him for 8 to 12 months before you tie the knot. Remember, he's been outside the country, gathered a handful of experiences and the resultant of this experiences will greatly determine his new personality, either for better or for worse. Ignoring or failing to take this one step is worst of all things you would ever do.

2. BE SURE OF WHAT HE DOES:
Go beyond your emotions and look with your mind's eyes. Can you trust what he tells you he does for a living? Have you sought an answer to these questions: How does he send his goods to Nigeria? Who receives the bales of clothes he sends in and who sells them and how does he get his money back? Through PayPal, Western Money Union Transfer or what? Investigate to be sure it's true.
When he's not sending clothes to Nigeria what does he do? Does he have a part-time job or own a business in India? If a part-time time job, what's the name of the company he works for and what position does he occupy. What are his job functions? If he owns a business, what kind.
Ask him how much he makes and see if it's in coherence with how much you think he's worth. Ask him these question and many more you can think of in quick succession, with that aura of intelligence of one who works with the FBI. Don't give him a chance to think! Just quickly throw the questions at him.
Observe if he's nervous or cool when giving answers. Compare all the information he provides with your previous knowledge of him and make your judgement. Trust your intuition!

3. PROMISES MAY NEVER BE FULFILLED:
Yes, he promised to make you Manager of his current business so he could move into importation of automobile spare parts. Be sure he will do this. Never you assume or just believe, it's not the Gospel after all. Compel him (though you do not have the right to) to start, maybe, a smaller business for you. If he cheerfully does, it could be an indicator that he will do bigger things. Do you still remember what the Bible says: He that is faithful in little is faithful in much.

4. DISCUSS THE MARGINS:
You are a woman, I believe, with dreams and goals. A savvy young girl poised for greatness, whose primary function as a wife is not to mop the floor, wash dishes, cook good foods and make babies. You've got a career life and a margin should be drawn between it and your marital life. I also believe you got goals to accomplish before you turn 30. Ask him how he intends to help you achieve those goals.

5. NEVER GIVE IN TO PRESSURE:
I understand the pressure by the African society on her girl child in getting married. It isn't your last chance, Baby. You are beautiful, intelligent and people tend to like you. You know this. I remember you once told me, "I no be bad market." Appreciate yourself and never take that step except you are sure you want to. The future holds a lot.

6. YOUR DAD, YOUR COUNSELOR:
I have not had the opportunity to meet with any of your parents, but somehow from what I have learned, dad is shrewder than mum (I'm not a diviner. It's just an opinion. I could be wrong). Discuss your man with him expressing the fears and confidence you have in him (your man), I'm sure he (dad) will have something very useful to tell you. Never ignore his advice.

7. AFTER THE WEDDING:
Don't get married to a ghost who will leave you for another woman in an unknown country for years in the guise of searching for endless business opportunities. I know of a victim, my mum’s best friend, then. She got married to a man, a US Naval Officer, in Owerri, in December 2001. The wedding was the talk of town as cash was lavished. The young man traveled back to the States early February 2002 promising her to come see her once in a while. The lady pleaded to go with him but he insisted that it won't be necessary as he plans to return home and start up a new life with her soon. He traveled back and that's all the lady and my mum saw of him. You think he could be dead? NO! He was seen shopping in Las Vegas in early 2013 by one of the friends of the lady who attended the wedding and had traveled to the city.

8. THE BALL IS IN YOUR COURT:
I don't have anything much to say here. It is your life, your decision. Always be true to yourself and your findings about him. Remember to trust your judgement. Your decision is ultimate.

Consider the eight points critically before December 30. I wish you the best marriage can offer. I love you. Have a nice day.

stjudas:
I just called her again and she's still crying. She said there are a lot of things she has to tell me but it will be tomorrow. "Why not now?" I asked. She said she doesn't want to cry the more that I should just hang up until she sorts herself out.

I just hope I've not influenced her in anyway.