Hmmm.....someone deaf from primary school level writing like this?....I don't believe it. @the problem..... try making friends first...... one of them would become your gf before you even know.

Olayinka8793:
when it comes to those online flirting/dating things my effectiveness is second to none until they demand we exchange numbers,reason been that the want me to call them but I will give various excuses and insist on text messages only so the won't know am unable to make phone calls cos am deaf,eventually they get tired and the rest is history.
The few I managed to tell my disability to went cold suddenly.

I understand but on this particular girl you already have an advantage since she already knows.

Just get yourself familiar with her on social media and am sure she will begin to see you in a different light just like most of us on nairaland did when we saw how articulate you are

i wouldn't have bothered replying since the comments are in their 6 page.

after reading through you post. i outlined the point where u said you didn't have the ability to further your education. but going by the quality of your write up, i can confidently tell you that you will cope and pass well in a university. i know billions of university graduate that cant write half as good as u just did.

about the whole girl thing, there are lots of girls and guys your age that have worse social skills when approaching the opposite sex. my advice is for u to keep trying and failing till u get better at it.


my point: GO BACK TO SCHOOL

Olayinka8793:
Good day nairalanders, my name is Yinka and am also a twin. I have an issue bothering me and wished to post it here openly in the hope that I will get useful advice/opinion.

This post may seem long and therefore turn off those who hate long epistles but pls endeavour to read it as your advice/opinion might be beneficial to me.

I have thought of creating an alternative moniker to post this or at least lied that the problem is been faced by one of my friend and so he needs your advice like some pretentious nairalanders do, but decided to be bold enough and be real since this is just an online forum.

Sorry for digressing, now to the koko of the matter,I am 22 years old, will be 23 next January, earning a decent salary working as a hair stylist in a large unisex saloon, I have hearing loss as in total deafness though I could speak fluently, was not born deaf but an accident caused it while I was in primary school, the story of how I became deaf is one for another day, but with sheer determination and faith and Gods Grace I managed to complete both primary and secondary schooling but gave up on going further as I have no believe I could survive higher school.

My deafness affected me in very many ways, physiologicaly and emotionally and almost daily, but I hardly allow myself brood over it for a long time, the worst I have done was to cry in secret on more than four occasion for having such a terrible disability.

Ok well, my deafness affected my relationship with the opposite sex so much such that I have never had a girl friend meaning am still a virgin, though I relieve myself of what nairalanders called Konji by doing controlled mas2bation when I feel like, I could have used Oloshos to relieve myself but I considered them as dirty people and can't imagine losing my virginity to a prostitute.

I have tried summoning confidence to toast gals but our conversation is usually very short and not impressive due to the fact I don't know how to prolong such conversations and most of the ideas I saw online hardly applied to such conversation involving a person like me wit hearing loss. I communicate like a normal person by lip reading(hope u know what that is), though not always an effective means of communication but I had no other choice as my parents and me hated the idea of me learning sign language and they vehemently resisted those who suggested it when the deafness problem started.The only problem I have with lip reading was that whenever I don't understand what the other person was saying, I would indicate and ask him to repeat but if it persist I ask him or her to write it with the finger and you will agree with me that such inconvenience might be a big turn of when trying to talk to a stranger like a beautiful gal I admired.

There is this girl I admired that works as a sales girl in my aunt's pharmacy shop, she frequently passed in front of our saloon and have started having feelings for her, fortunately she know I have hearing loss and also knew I am a nephew to her boss and sometimes greets me when passing by like "boda taye",lol and I had just waved and answer "bawo ni", ordinarily I should not have problem toasting her but the fear of my deafness disappointing me and the fact I don't know anything to say that could make the toasting successfull apart from, what is your name, I want to marry you, where do you live, can I have your number, can I take you out on a date next Sunday? Bla bla bla.lol

Also there is the problem I usually encounter with young gals, when I told them I want to marry you, they be like "omo kekere ni mi" meaning am a small girl and I be like how old are you, but can we just be friends bla bla bla, any suggestion to how to properly deal with such response will be appreciated in case the gal I planned to toast say such(she looks 19+). It is not like she is out of my class or too beautiful, no no no not at all, even my twin sister is more classier.

Thanks for reading this far, I know this might seem like an unusual problem but I believe you will have one or two ideas/opinions which I might find useful in other to overcome my deafness and win over this gal. I have no intention of using and dumping her, just date her with the hope of finding her compatible for marriage when the time comes and lastly to relieve myself of Konji the natural way after having gained her trust and affection.

Modified. E be like say I want more opinions, oya CC: lalasticlala abeg do the needful.

Try buying a hearing aid device,it helps alot....My uncle bought an original hearing aid device from german,during the 90's around N90,000.So you should know its worth & equivalent now.

Sweetyie:
Eeyah

This one wey u dey pity am, help him na. BTW I love your packaging

At 22 plus,you should'nt bother having sex.I'm 29 plus and still a virgin and will remain one until i marry my dream gal.

ask her out on a date.

Swissheart:
The first thing is to be yourself.....look beyond d said deafness.You write well...so I think you are quite intelligent.Make friend with her....with dat She must have been convinced of your worth...I am not a fan of toasting by d road side actually. friendship first.Continue being a good guy.Think of getting better..both medically and career wise.

I believe you bro Yinka i recommend diz

You are still scared of your aunty because of your age. I feel it will be easier to carry her along in this but ur age does not permit that.

Why dont you get some treatment/ hearing aid, focus on ur job so as to make some money while you attain age 25 before thinking of whom to marry?

Also take ur mind off sex and lead a life of purity.

Pray to God.

From your thread it seems like you are more obsessed with losing your virginity. Look, keep yourself for the woman that will appreciate you. Don't let peer pressure push you to having sex. Don't mind all the hor*ny little boys that they have used their future to sell pure water. And think that their manliness comes with boasting about conquests. I also do hope you are not gay. Male hair dressers are mostly quite feminine. I know I am stereotyping. But if you are gay and trying to prove you are not by having sex with that girl, stop and think about her feelings after being used. And please educate yourself on sex before doing it. Always play safe, first time or not. My advise, if you are straight, wait for a girl that is a virgin and stay faithful to her. You have waited this long anyway, you can wait till your wedding night. Goodluck

THERE IS A LOT OF SIMILARITY BETWEEN ME AND YOU MR POSTER..... I ALSO GOT A HEARING PROBLEM AS FAR BACK AS IN PRIMARY ONE TILL DATE... I STARTED MAKING USE OF LIP READING AFTER HUNDRED THOUSANDS OF NAIRA HAVE BEEN SPENT FOR ME TO HEAR CLEARLY AGAIN...

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US IS THAT I WENT FURTHER IN MY EDUCATION.... UP TO THE MASTER LEVEL. IF I CAN DO THIS, YOU TOO CAN!!!!!!

BACK TO THE ISSUE CONCERNING TOASTING A LADY, I UNDERSTAND YOU PERFECTLY THAT YOU ARE FACING THE CHALLENGE OF "WHAT IF SHE SAY SOMETHING REPEATEDLY MANY TIMES AND I DIDN'T HEAR HER, IT WOULD PUT HER OFF"

I MUST ADMITTING PLAINLY THAT I FACED SUCH ISSUE TOO.. IF YOU ARE GOOD LOOKING, IT WOULD BE EASIER TOO... HERE IS WHAT YOU ARE TO DO... AFTER THE SO CALLED SHORT TALK,BE HER FRIEND, EXCHANGE CONTACTED WITH HER, THEN YOU CAN CHAT WITH HER ONLINE ALWAYS AND AFTER A WHILE YOU WILL HAVE DEVELOP THE CONFIDENCE TO ASK HER TO BE YOU GIRLFRIEND. IF YOU CAN NOT DO THAT FACE TO FACE , THEN TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HER WHEN YOU TWO ARE CHATTING ONLINE.

Bestwishes.......

nawao, in this age of BBM and Whatsapp

saasala:
Sorry, I aint gat the time to read anything this lengthy. Try again later.

Then gerrarrahere fool.
Some people are just so insensitive, 1diot.

Olayinka8793:
noted bro,I have thought about faking an illness or just a headache to visit my aunt shop for prescription but I hardly have an idea of whether my aunt will be in shop or not,so I backed off. The few time I really need drugs and visit her shop,she was always present.

Yinka, you don't need to fake an illness before you visit your Aunt shop. Be a man enough to visit whenever your are free from work though, and be confident at least to say hello in a polite way to the lady. You need to be bold, and take away shyness from your activities with lady. Goodluck.

Swissheart:
The first thing is to be yourself.....look beyond d said deafness.You write well...so I think you are quite intelligent.Make friend with her....with dat She must have been convinced of your worth...I am not a fan of toasting by d road side actually. friendship first.Continue being a good guy.Think of getting better..both medically and career wise.

I will toast you on the road soon

Olayinka8793:
when it comes to those online flirting/dating things my effectiveness is second to none until they demand we exchange numbers,reason been that the want me to call them[b][/b] but I will give various excuses and insist on text messages only so the won't know am unable to make phone calls cos am deaf,[b][/b]eventually they get tired and the rest is history.
The few I managed to tell my disability to went cold suddenly.

Oh my God,this really touched me.
God,come and heal this guy,nothing is impossible with God,i just prayed a silent prayer for you.

Olayinka8793:
bro why na,ain't gals of such age range matured enough for dating?,this particular gal is 19+ so she should be ripe enough for marriage in 3 years time.

Yes but telling a girl you just meet that you wants to marry her will be a huge turn off because she will be like, "what did this guy know about me?,is he real?,even you,after knowing her,will you still marry her if you guys are not compatible?. Love alone can't sustain marriage, I think you start by being friends which will afford you ample time to know one another

Olayinka8793:
noted bro,I have thought about faking an illness or just a headache to visit my aunt shop for prescription but I hardly have an idea of whether my aunt will be in shop or not,so I backed off. The few time I really need drugs and visit her shop,she was always present.

Bro tell ur aunt u want to woo d lady... She should even help u out in a way or ar u scared to tell her.... U also said u av a twin sister... She should also b a great help to u

realchidex:
You are still scared of your aunty because of your age. I feel it will be easier to carry her along in this but ur age does not permit that.

Why dont you get some treatment/ hearing aid, focus on ur job so as to make some money while you attain age 25 before thinking of whom to marry?

Also take ur mind off sex and lead a life of purity.

Pray to God.

I don't think he's planning marriage now but will want to date the girl with the hope of marring her in future and also receive himself of konji

DedeNkem:
Grab the bull by the horn!
You have an easy catch and still you' re fucking scared to tell her your feelings. I can't say "be yourself" because your present self s*ucks real bad and that's why you were only able to befriend your m*asturbation prone hands.
The chic knows you too well which kinda made it easier for you. Summon some goddam courage and go talk her! She won't bite you, I promise! The worst thing she could do is to say "no". That's it, it won't turn your life upside down. You need to grow some f*ucking balls and have confidence in your damn self. Never use your f*ucking deafness as a weakness, it should make you stronger!
There are tons of stuff to talk about. You only have to start by talking about stuffs that concerns her - like her good looks (don't f*ucking overdo it), job, hobbies, her favorite stuff (like movie, music, etc), future ambition, and her unforgettable life experiences, try to be funny (chics love it) and then finally let her know your feelings for her and be real with it.
Don't f*ucking tell her you want to marry her. That scares some chics away because it's the same as telling a chic you're toasting that you love her. She may see you as a player. And don't entice her with money! Entice her with your good personality (if you have it).
Don't tell her you're a f*ucking virgin for God's sake! She may see you as an inexperienced j*erk and wonders why you haven't had any chic in your life at your age. It could also make her think something is damn wrong with you. You should only tell her few seconds before sex so she won't call you an as*shole if you f*uck up in bed. Watch some p*orn to learn how guys get laid.
Few chics would be excited to f*uck a virgin because of the rarity of virgin guys, not because the sex will be great.
Now get your as*s out and look for her!

Originalsly:
Hmmm.....something deaf from primary school level writing like this?....I don't believe it. @the problem..... try making friends first...... one of them would become your gf before you even know.

wat a f*ucking post....laffing ma f*ucking ass out... U f*ucking tried with ur f*ucking points f*ucking nigga.. lOl

Olayinka8793:
thanks bro.I think letter writing is no longer in vogue this days,more so them ladies eyes don open well that they considered men toasting them indirectly via letter and text or call as a sign of lack of confidence.moreover I don't know her enough to know how matured she is as she might laugh over a love letter or read it with her friends.

Dont write a letter. I dont advise it.. some girls are immature. She might not only laugh , she could show people in your area and turn u into their clown.. girls can be that immature. I think I did something like that to a boy when I was 17. Dont remember so well though... love will come. Believe in who u are. Ignore your deafness and mingle with people. Some people dont care anymore that they are deaf. They accepted it and aee even making jokes about it. A friend of mine says the silence gives him peace.( we were at a loud party)Lol... be close to her... in time she might even ask u to be her man . Good luck with that.
Seek medical help. I do believe u are smart. Most people give up the moment they get a small disability. For example my hausa brothers who beg in the streets ( this shames me eh). Try to find out if there is a possible surgery or what problem u have. I would love for u to hear again cause u sound like a wonderful young man...
Your English was top notch to be honest. See? Im tripping for u . Lol. And I dont even give a shit that u are deaf. That doesnt matter.. it wont matter to the right woman either... please go back to school... u can do it.. I want a new testimony from u at 30 ...

You seem to have the solution to your problem hence my wondering why you brought it for others to advise you when you have contrary response to all their views. Well, Letter writing is still in vogue and it depends on what you write. If you are as smart as you sound then you would not find a big deal in letter writing. Just pen down something with bit of romance but don't be too forward so if she values you or not, you would still be you. I also believe you can address your hearing problem so make effort on that sir and also remember that the right woman for every man is always out there. As you desire this lady, work on yourself and at the end, you will be glad you did. Finally, your motive for desiring the said girl is bad. You contradict yourself when you say you want her for keeps yet its to satisfy your sex desires that you want her. Well, if you want her for sex, I bet you may regret your action in the long run but start out with her as friends and dating would be easier if she finds you attractive and even the sex will come naturally if she is not still a virgin and sworn not to give to any man except her husband. Wish you well sir.

Olayinka8793:
thanks bro.I think letter writing is no longer in vogue this days,more so them ladies eyes don open well that they considered men toasting them indirectly via letter and text or call as a sign of lack of confidence.moreover I don't know her enough to know how matured she is as she might laugh over a love letter or read it with her friends.

I feel ur pains bro, my hrt melted wen reading ur post. But I beliv u av a bright future cus I av a frnd who hav similar problem wit u(he is my lecturer) he is a first class graduate n av a beautiful wife. Even d Gov. Of Nasarawa state I beliv he has a similar problm like u...becus he is using a hearing aide. Bro jst b focus n beliv in ursef, she wil b urs.

Telling a girl u want to marry her when u dont know her is a turn off. ( this means u want to have sex with her).
Besides u are too young for that responsibility. Enjoy life first...

Dear Olayinka, I found your write up rather interesting as u really know how to express urself well with words, and should consider it as a career in future. Having said that, nothing in life is perfect , there is always a form of disability stopping one from achieving heart desires. Never look down on ur self, u never can tell what this young lady is struggling with as well, perhaps she needs company very badly. Make a move, start visiting ur Aunty's shop, buy some snacks and drinks during lunch time when going, and offer her some getting there. Talk generally, u might not really like as much as u thought after spending time with her, if u enjoyed her company, request for her no. make sure its d whatsap one, am sure u can take it from here. It is important to perceive her disposition towards u b4 confessing ur feelings, make sure she is a kind person b4 proceeding, then take her out. Please get hearing aids, it will help u much.Good luck.

Hi, my name is jonathan. I'm very impressed by your choice of simple dictions and the fluency and flow of your writing skills. For a deaf guy, you're cool so, I'll start by saying you should pls further your education, I can see greatness in you and I'm not trying to be a preacher nor an inspirationist, so pls further your education.
For the girl, I'll like you to summon courage and tell her how you feel. Maybe you can use your twin sister as a "side man" for the shock absorber and enforcer. Before you talk to her (the chick), if I were you, I'll write down how I feel, how beautiful she is in comparison to a beautiful moment/thing, how she make me feel etc. After you're done talking to her on your feelings, give her the letter (which will explain more in details), and then your sister will play the other very major role. Your sis may start by being her aquintance and use the opportunity cement everything for you.

You just have to give a try bro. You can never be sure until you try. Also perseverance pays so do not give up easily. Luck bro

use bro code + all d ideas u av been given...notice the time she will be alone in shop, then use the rushing strategy, walk past her (after greeting her) den com com back nd go like hello (her name) thr is this question i wnt to ask u/(any questn she might be willin to answer like fashion, money)..the idea is get her enthusiastic, then tell her cz u r rushing u cnt wait , den bring out ur fone give to punch her digit . smile, nd enjoy urself. dnt txt / call 4 like 2 days till u will see her again nd if she ask u y u havnt asked..tell her u hv been busy bt u will ask her today. in d evening compose a short sms to her. dnt tell her ur prob, let her find out nd ask.. go slow nd enjoy urself. dnt be anxious or scared of hearing No.. u have d NO nw, y cant u go for the yes.. smile, joke(tease) her in ur sms. anytime u wnt to talk to her face to face , make sure its both of u. Love dont cost a thing, just be lovable.