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At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? - Romance - Nairaland

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At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by Smile4mee01: 7:46am On Oct 31, 2015
I am a little depressed now. i came here to seek counsel. i am 31 yr old male, works in a bank. have my own apartment and car, Quite comfortable. i am not and never have been in a very serious relationship. the few ones i tried never just works out. most times the ladies dont measure up, the few ones that did measure up were so much in a hurry to marry (maybe because they were older than i was sha)

my friends too wonder, they say with my status ladies should be all over me. they say i dont take them serious. i am not gay and wil never be.

i agree my job leaves me little room to go out because i work almost every day. in fact in a whole month i have just 2 free weekends. 2 days out of which i still go to work.

is there something i can do to be in a healthy relationship. i desire to have a balance.

Thanks in anticipation

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by Aieboocaar(m): 7:48am On Oct 31, 2015
cheesy Woaw!!! FTC Finally after all dis years...chai! patience indeed is a virtue cool I dedicate this plot of land to all aspiring FTC's wink una turn go soon cum grin

@op..well i just have 1 question for u, WTF HAVE U BEEN DOING WHILE U WERE BTW 18-25YRS?. oh wait lemme guess, u're one of dose "hit and run" boys dat dnt take relationships serious baa?? Issorite, it's not too late to start believing sha grin grin

22 Likes 1 Share

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by Nobody: 7:49am On Oct 31, 2015
Make out time for yourself.

10 Likes

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by xreal: 7:50am On Oct 31, 2015
your job and busy schedule is not an excuse.

check yourself weeeeell

34 Likes 1 Share

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by 14teenK: 7:54am On Oct 31, 2015
Oga u no get excuse ....examine ursef

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Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by Nobody: 7:55am On Oct 31, 2015
Brandnew2:
Make out time for yourself.
Gbam!!! U deserve 2 kegs of undiluted palmwine!

55 Likes 4 Shares

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by Nobody: 7:55am On Oct 31, 2015
Smile4mee01:
I am a little depressed now. i came here to seek counsel. i am 31 yr old male, works in a bank. have my own apartment and car, Quite comfortable. i am not and never have been in a very serious relationship. the few ones i tried never just works out. most times the ladies dont measure up, the few ones that did measure up were so much in a hurry to marry (maybe because they were older than i was sha)

my friends too wonder, they say with my status ladies should be all over me. they say i dont take them serious. i am not gay and wil never be.

i agree my job leaves me little room to go out because i work almost every day. in fact in a whole month i have just 2 free weekends. 2 days out of which i still go to work.

is there something i can do to be in a healthy relationship. i desire to have a balance.

Thanks in anticipation
Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by madridguy(m): 7:58am On Oct 31, 2015
Okay

2 Likes

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by abiolasogey(m): 8:01am On Oct 31, 2015
Make tym 4 urself,,nd if d ladies dnt measure up,,u make dem measure up

32 Likes 1 Share

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by ReabridCharles(m): 8:06am On Oct 31, 2015
You don't spend quality time with yourself cos of work. That's understandable but then how do you think women would fit into such schedule of yours?

You're 31 and not in a serious relationship because you don't have time to keep a serious relationship

63 Likes 3 Shares

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by amiskurie(m): 8:19am On Oct 31, 2015
Just go get what's in store for u...just like that.

24 Likes

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by mioltai(m): 8:23am On Oct 31, 2015
The reason y u aint in a serious relationship is bcuz u lukn fr the perfect girl bro.if its nt her height datz an issue, its her complexion,behaviour or educational background.there is no such thing as a perfect lady u av to accept that and move foward.im very sure a lot of ladies out there are angling for u to notice them.u av just set the bar too high

154 Likes 8 Shares

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by EfemenaXY: 8:25am On Oct 31, 2015
Smile4mee01:
I am a little depressed now. i came here to seek counsel. i am 31 yr old male, works in a bank. have my own apartment and car, Quite comfortable. i am not and never have been in a very serious relationship. the few ones i tried never just works out. most times the ladies dont measure up, the few ones that did measure up were so much in a hurry to marry (maybe because they were older than i was sha)
my friends too wonder, they say with my status ladies should be all over me. they say i dont take them serious. i am not gay and wil never be.
i agree my job leaves me little room to go out because i work almost every day. in fact in a whole month i have just 2 free weekends. 2 days out of which i still go to work.
is there something i can do to be in a healthy relationship. i desire to have a balance.
Thanks in anticipation

Maybe it's time you lowered your expectations. You probably also see yourself as being (for want of a better expression) "all that", while they think otherwise.

28 Likes 2 Shares

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by 5minsmadness: 8:30am On Oct 31, 2015

2 Likes

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by Nobody: 8:33am On Oct 31, 2015
You are ok,nothing is wrong.

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by Dyt(f): 8:54am On Oct 31, 2015
Awwww
cry cry cry cry
Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by Sunnypar(m): 9:20am On Oct 31, 2015
Smile4mee01:
I am a little depressed now. i came here to seek counsel. i am 31 yr old male, works in a bank. have my own apartment and car, Quite comfortable. i am not and never have been in a very serious relationship. the few ones i tried never just works out. most times the ladies dont measure up, the few ones that did measure up were so much in a hurry to marry (maybe because they were older than i was sha)

my friends too wonder, they say with my status ladies should be all over me. they say i dont take them serious. i am not gay and wil never be.

i agree my job leaves me little room to go out because i work almost every day. in fact in a whole month i have just 2 free weekends. 2 days out of which i still go to work.

is there something i can do to be in a healthy relationship. i desire to have a balance.

Thanks in anticipation
Three things a babe needs.
Time
Money and
Comfort
You have got the last two but do not have the first one cause with the first you get to know the person better and make an informed decision.
You have set high expectations for the would be girl and I think you need to check yourself.
Finally, I would advise you start living below your means (use your leg instead of your car, spend time more in the cinemas when you are free, no showing of your academic or achievements) then you would see the girls that loves you and go for younger girls below 25yrs.
Open your eyes, girls are damn desperate..... Mine left me she is getting married today.

72 Likes

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by realdee44(f): 9:35am On Oct 31, 2015
Smile4mee01:
I am a little depressed now. i came here to seek counsel. i am 31 yr old male, works in a bank. have my own apartment and car, Quite comfortable. i am not and never have been in a very serious relationship. the few ones i tried never just works out. most times the ladies dont measure up, the few ones that did measure up were so much in a hurry to marry (maybe because they were older than i was sha)

my friends too wonder, they say with my status ladies should be all over me. they say i dont take them serious. i am not gay and wil never be.

i agree my job leaves me little room to go out because i work almost every day. in fact in a whole month i have just 2 free weekends. 2 days out of which i still go to work.

is there something i can do to be in a healthy relationship. i desire to have a balance.

Thanks in anticipation
At 31 years, I don't think you should worry yourself there are men who gets up to 34-37 before getting married.

23 Likes 1 Share

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by Nobody: 9:37am On Oct 31, 2015
Can I say I'm very impressed with the responses coming from guys.

26 Likes

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by Nobody: 9:55am On Oct 31, 2015
Well u should be worried since you have hopes of getting married.... undecided

You should do something about the "they don't measure up" thing tho , even if you decide to come down to their level and probably end up with one lady, u might make her married life sad.

Even when you have kids, you might still say they don't measure up to your ideals undecided

I wonder those ideals of yours that the women don't measure up to

There are so many bankers like you going through same work conditions but they still have a working relationship, so you should seek advice from them on how they make theirs work.

16 Likes 1 Share

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by TheSonOfMark(m): 9:56am On Oct 31, 2015
realdee44:
At 31 years, I don't think you should worry yourself there are men who gets up to 34-37 before getting married.

Hogwash! At 31 he should be concerned.
I mean, a woman can tender the excuse of "lack of suitors" but as a man what excuse does he have?
He sure hasn't been celibate. He sure has been seeing a woman for sex so why not go past the physical thingy and get emotionally involved with her? ♦

35 Likes 6 Shares

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by Captainswag225(m): 10:41am On Oct 31, 2015
Smile4mee01:
I am a little depressed now. i came here to seek counsel. i am 31 yr old male, works in a bank. have my own apartment and car, Quite comfortable. i am not and never have been in a very serious relationship. the few ones i tried never just works out. most times the ladies dont measure up, the few ones that did measure up were so much in a hurry to marry (maybe because they were older than i was sha)
time do u close at work? If u really want a relationship and marriage, then u must always be ready to commit to it, a relationship requires time for and ur partner to study each other and to work on ur issues....there is nothing like a perfect lady or man or a perfect relationship, u just have to make it work...... if ur current job isn't giving time for a relationship then I suggest u find a more cool and flexible time.
Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by Captainswag225(m): 10:50am On Oct 31, 2015
Smile4mee01:
I am a little depressed now. i came here to seek counsel. i am 31 yr old male, works in a bank. have my own apartment and car, Quite comfortable. i am not and never have been in a very serious relationship. the few ones i tried never just works out. most times the ladies dont measure up, the few ones that did measure up were so much in a hurry to marry (maybe because they were older than i was sha)

my friends too wonder, they say with my status ladies should be all over me. they say i dont take them serious. i am not gay and wil never be.

i agree my job leaves me little room to go out because i work almost every day. in fact in a whole month i have just 2 free weekends. 2 days out of which i still go to work.

is there something i can do to be in a healthy relationship. i desire to have a balance.

Thanks in anticipation
u got to find a flexible job that allows u more time to enter into a relationship coz a relationship requires time to make it work......plus u need to commit to it too, no one is perfect so u ate bound to discover the lady u take has mistakes but u can work it out...... Who knows, maybe she myt end up becoming ur wife.
Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by Nobody: 11:16am On Oct 31, 2015
At Grahyt,

You quoted OP's post without saying anything at the end of it. Lol - sleep still dey catch you this morning?

At OP,

Check out a thread in the romance section titled ''If You Are 30+ and Single Let's Talk''. I think it might help.

Siamia a lady authored the thread and a WhatsApp chat group was created to enhance healthy friendships & romantic relationships in a safe, secure and be your brother's keeper kind of way.

Siamia vouches that members are authentic & sincere, well truth is she only said that about the men I don't know about my gender.

Read the thread first (the few pages you can) and then decide if you want to join the chat group and see where that leads to. No pressure ooo abeg just keep an open mind and explore the possibilities of friendships first.

Only tasteless and classless women will be all over you because of your job, apartment and car. Tasteful women with class (like moi wink ) will be more concerned with your manners, personal hygiene & grooming then your overall comportment as a man.

Me - I'm a sucker for

1. Neat men with shaved armpits, clean underwear and surroundings. That your apartment won't count if its messy & untidy.

2. Well spoken & written English which reveals a depth of intelligence (like that dude LordReed I am electronically attracted to him just for his written English too bad he's married).

3. Courteous & well mannered men amongst other things like lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

No offence meant bro, but I ain't really feeling your written English enough to gravitate towards you as a woman. It's good but could be better with punctuation marks where necessary. Just saying no offence meant.

34 Likes 2 Shares

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by ogawisdom(m): 1:06pm On Oct 31, 2015
Smile4mee01:
I am a little depressed now. i came here to seek counsel. i am 31 yr old male, works in a bank. have my own apartment and car, Quite comfortable. i am not and never have been in a very serious relationship. the few ones i tried never just works out. most times the ladies dont measure up, the few ones that did measure up were so much in a hurry to marry (maybe because they were older than i was sha)

my friends too wonder, they say with my status ladies should be all over me. they say i dont take them serious. i am not gay and wil never be.

i agree my job leaves me little room to go out because i work almost every day. in fact in a whole month i have just 2 free weekends. 2 days out of which i still go to work.

is there something i can do to be in a healthy relationship. i desire to have a balance.

Thanks in anticipation

Use d banking environment to meet someone its very easy BC most times u kw their details through their account with their number to follow up on them.

Finding a wife is very difficult all u ve everywhere r runs girls n gfs

Good decent girls with plans for their future r fast becoming an endangered species

U r jst 31 time still dey so take ur time, 50 percent of ur mates have nt yet secured a decent job in naija self so dnt pressure urself abt this for u have no menopause

33 Likes 2 Shares

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by lolaxavier(m): 1:21pm On Oct 31, 2015
Guy relax, you are just 31. I'll be 34 in few days and I still don't plan to settle down for now. I have a target to do that in the next two years. The most important thing is for you to have plan and be focused. The right person will show up when you are 100% sure you are ready.

50 Likes 3 Shares

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by Nobody: 1:31pm On Oct 31, 2015
sihom:
At Grahyt,

You quoted OP's post without saying anything at the end of it. Lol - sleep still dey catch you this morning?

At OP,

Check out a thread in the romance section titled ''If You Are 30+ and Single Come in Here''. I think it might help.

Siamia a lady authored the thread and a WhatsApp chat group was created to enhance healthy friendships & romantic relationships in a safe, secure and be your brother's keeper kind of way.

Siamia vouches that members are authentic & sincere, well truth is she only said that about the men I don't know about my gender.

Read the thread first (the few pages you can) and then decide if you want to join the chat group and see where that leads to. No pressure ooo abeg just keep an open mind and explore the possibilities of friendships first.

Only tasteless and classless women will be all over you because of your job, apartment and car. Tasteful women with class (like moi wink ) will be more concerned with your manners, personal hygiene & grooming then your overall comportment as a man.

Me - I am a sucker for

1. Neat men with shaved armpits, clean underwear and surroundings. That your apartment won't count if its messy & untidy.

2. Well spoken & written English which reveals a depth of intelligence (like that dude LordReed I am electronically attracted to him just for his written English too bad he's married).

3. Courteous & well mannered men amongst other things like lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

No offence meant bro, but I ain't really feeling your written English enough to gravitate towards you. It's good but could be better with punctuation marks where necessary. Just saying.

Sister, many people express themselves more when they speak than when they write.

26 Likes 2 Shares

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by jmoore(m): 1:39pm On Oct 31, 2015
You are not alone.

Make you reach 40 years before you start dey worry.

2 Likes

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by Nobody: 1:40pm On Oct 31, 2015
.

13 Likes

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by Nobody: 1:50pm On Oct 31, 2015
Op, check yourself to find out whether or not you are being overly selective. If you are, pick up your 'list' again, and strike out some of those things you actually do not NEED in a woman.

However, if you can honestly say you aren't being too selective, I'ld say don't rush things with any woman, just because of the age factor. The bible says, "He that FINDETH a wife..." , not "HE that PICKETH a wife. As long as you aren't being too choosy, just chill, remain open, and of course, ask God to lead you to that special woman that you will be able to have that serious relationship with.

9 Likes

Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by Godmother(f): 2:17pm On Oct 31, 2015
mioltai:
The reason y u aint in a serious relationship is bcuz u lukn fr the perfect girl bro.if its nt her height datz an issue, its her complexion,behaviour or educational background.there is no such thing as a perfect lady u av to accept that and move foward.im very sure a lot of ladies out there are angling for u to notice them.u av just set the bar too high

Well said. Theres no perfect person. You just have to take the next best thing at work at making the relationship beautiful.
Re: At 31, Not In A Serious Relationship: Should I Be Worried? by Nobody: 2:20pm On Oct 31, 2015
Gaborone:

You spoilt an otherwise good post with your last paragraph. Who told you your punctuation marks as used in your post can earn you even a 'C'?. Moreso, did the op tell you he wanted you to 'gravitate' towards him?
Take your time oh.

Gabrone Gabrone,

You made me laugh with the take your time part of your post.

I lay no claims to being an English expert but when you repeatedly see small letter i when it should be capital letter I, no commas or full stops your head begins to ache and your eyes tear up.

The part about not gravitating towards him is me simply saying - as appealing as any man thinks he is with his fine car, job & apartment those things do not necessarily rock a tasteful woman's world.

I still maintain this - no offence meant to him and none taken from you either. I am more amused than offended

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