My prayer is that this doesn’t happen to you! I have decided to share this sad experience with Intimate Gist to lessen the burden I carry about. Here is my story!

An old friend from when I was in church camp found me on Facebook. We reconnected and dated for a year. We got married, planned our wedding very quickly. I was head over heels in love and happy, and had a wonderful, amazing wedding.3 days later- We hadn’t even gone on our honeymoon... READ MORE www.intimategist.com/?p=124

Just call d ur husby and make him understand ur feelings ..mab he can change his ways thou

So, now who shame go catch much

A man can cheat on his fiance and still love her,vowing to quit cheating after d wedding.....forgive him

benedictnsi:
So, now who shame go catch much

If say na husband catch wife in this same situation, you go ask this question? Even if he found out on the wedding night and dumps her?

3 days? this one strong gan.

and we dey laugh Kim kardashian for her marriage to that huge guy that lasted 2-3 months.

she did the right thing.
she couldnt have lived with mistrust like that for the rest of her life

Divorce the infidel

Its your life. Do what makes you happy.

And you think your parents who have been 40 years in marriage never had challenges?
My dear make it happen. Forgive him and carry on with your man in your marriage .

marriage marriage marriage!!!! dz word jst scares the $hit outta me. its jst lyk a synonym to palava


God help us all

Alright

Oh Sister!
You were too hasty to divorce your husband; just three days after the wedding.
Whatever you saw on his computer could have happened before he married you, who knows.
You should have talked it out with him and instruct him to delete them while you give him a benefit of the doubt.

I must say that the only reason I will divorce my husband is if he turns me to a punching bag.
Infidelity will never make me divorce him although I'm not praying for that.

THREE DAYS

nice comments

Marriage's the only war where one sleeps in the bed with one's enemy! Do Whatever gives you peace..

My dear, please take the time to heal your "self"...mind, body, heart and spirit in Jesus name. If not, it may repeat. Your ex may be a lover of self that 2 Timothy chapter 3 speaks of. In our days, lovers of self are known by a different name. I was going to post small but I will add the whole and post the link for the comments. If you read some of what people are passing through, you will understand better what might have happened with you.

God bless you and your life
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The 3 Phases of a Narcissistic Relationship Cycle: Over- Evaluation, Devaluation, Discard

A relationship with a Narcissist has been compared to being on a roller coaster, with immense highs and immense lows. They have been described as the proverbial Jekyll and Hyde, one way one minute, another the next.

People usually get into relationships for love and the need to connect and bond with another. Narcissists get into relationships for entirely different reasons. They do not feel love and they lack the ability to connect and form normal attachment bonds with others.

Narcissists need people more than anyone. Because their entire sense of self-esteem and self-worth is dependent on the admiration of others, their emotions are a precarious balance of needing others and needing to be left alone.

Narcissists feel an enormous void inside of them. This void is ever present and the only thing that fills it, is the love and esteem of another. The fix is always temporary though. A Narcissist describes it this way, “It’s like my brain is constantly seeking something. It’s like I’m always chasing a carrot at the end of a stick. Nothing I do satisfies me, at least not for long. I feel like I only do things because I’m supposed to, because society does it. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere or with anyone.”

Narcissists are completely self-absorbed and are oblivious to the wants and needs of others. They enter into relationships in an attempt to fill this void and to make sure that they have someone who is always available for sex, an ego stroke or whatever need they may have. A relationship with a Narcissist always follows three phases, the over-evaluations phase, the devaluation phase and the discard phase.

[b]The Over-evaluation Phase
[/b]A Narcissist is very careful when choosing a target. Typically, they will choose a victim based on their status. They must be attractive, popular, rich or extremely gifted in some area. The greater the status, the higher the value the Narcissist places on the Supply derived.
Once a target has been chosen, it’s almost like the Narcissist gets tunnel vision. They are hyper-vigilant in their pursuit and will project the perfect image that their victim wants them to be. They are excessively caring, loving and attentive at this stage. They shower their targets with attention, compliments and literally sweep them off their feet.

They place their target on a pedestal, idolize and worship them. Their target is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Here the Narcissist is ecstatic, full of hopes and dreams. They will talk and think about them constantly, they are euphoric. This is as close as a Narcissist will ever get to feeling love. This kind of idolization is what others would call infatuation.

The victim is likely so caught up in all the attention and is usually thinking at this point, that they have found their soul-mate. Their pursuer is exactly what they want in a partner (because the Narcissist is mirroring what they have learned appeals to their target) and they can’t believe how lucky they are and that this catch is still single.

What they don’t know, or could ever be prepared for, is what comes next.

[b]The Devaluation Stage
[/b]The Over-Evaluation phase, if you’re dealing with a Somatic Narcissist, usually lasts anywhere from a few weeks to a couple of months, just long enough for the Narcissist to be confident that they have secured their target’s love and devotion. Unbeknownst to the target, what they were witnessing in the early phase was the Narcissist’s false self. In this second phase, the mask comes off and the Narcissist starts to reveal their true colours.

The shift could be gradual or almost seemingly overnight. Suddenly the attention they so lavishly gave you is gone and replace by indifference and silence. Days or weeks could go by and you won’t hear from them. They don’t return your phone calls, they don’t keep a single promise and you’re starting to suspect that they might be involved with someone else. The target is left baffled and confused and wondering what they did wrong to cause such an abrupt turnaround.

Narcissists become bored easily and what usually starts happening in their heads at this stage, is that the void begins to emerge again. The high they were feeding off of is waning and they begin to question your worthiness, that perhaps you weren’t so special after all, because if you were then the void wouldn’t still be there.

They become moody and agitated easily, blaming you for even the slightest transgression. They start to disappear more frequently and they give you the silent treatment in an attempt to create distance. As the Narcissist withdraws, the target starts to cling and your demands for his attention and your need to understand what’s happening, grate on his nerves. The harder you cling the more the Narcissist pulls away. They start to blame and criticize the target for everything, treating them like an emotional punching bag.

At this point the target is an emotional wreck. The Narcissist has left without any explanation and they can’t figure out how one minute they were put on a pedestal and now it’s like they doesn’t even exist. The Narcissist is a projector and they are projecting their emotional turmoil onto you. They feed off of other people’s misery (as long as it’s caused by them) just as much as they feed off of your admiration, either way it makes no difference to them.

It is this person, this cruel, indifferent, unfeeling, sadist that is the behind the mask. Most targets desperately try to find the one they fell in love with. What they don’t realize is that that person never existed. They were a facade an act put on by the Narcissist to secure their Supply.
The Narcissist will take no responsibility for their actions, because they simply don’t care how they’ve treated you or how you are feeling.
Narcissists are not capable of forming normal healthy attachments to people. Those that aren’t familiar with the disorder are completely at a loss to understand how unnecessarily cruel their behavior can be. The target was never more than an object to the Narcissist, whose usefulness is on the decline.

The Narcissist isn’t one to throw away a potential piece of supply though. They will keep up this I love you, I love you not charade going for as long as it suits them or as long as you allow it. They will breeze in and out of your life as if nothing ever happened, completely oblivious and indifferent to your suffering.

This mind “game” is deliberate and they will keep feeding you crumbs of attention, just enough to keep you emotionally invested and available to cater to their every need.

At some point one of two things will happen: either they will find a new target and begin phase one with them, thus ignoring you completely, or you will have had enough of his psychotic abuse and you will take control and put an end to it, thus ushering In phase three.

[b] The Discard Phase
[/b]It is almost baffling to watch the ease at which a Narcissist can pull away from his partners. Many targets are left asking themselves, “Did he ever love me? Did I mean anything to him?” The simple answer is no. No one means anything to him. Women are only a means to an end – to obtain the much needed Narcissistic Supply. Once your usefulness has run its course, you will be discarded abruptly and cruelly, without warning.

Trying to get over a relationship with a Narcissist is extremely difficult. Once it is over the target is usually an emotional wreck, whose self-esteem has been annihilated by the persistent demeaning behavior, insults and cruelty of the Narcissist. Depending on when they were able to break free, the target maybe a shadow of their former self, with a lot of work ahead of them to rebuild their shattered self-image.

As a victim tries to pick up the pieces, what must be remembered is that you were deliberately targeted, lied to and manipulated by a skilled con-artist, for their own gain. There was nothing you could have done differently and none of this was your fault. The Narcissist will repeat this pattern with every person, every time, bar none.

All former targets must be vigilantly on guard, because a Narcissist always reserves the right to revisit a former source of supply, no matter how much time has passed or how badly they’ve behaved.

Once you have broken free you must close the door on any and all contact, because if you don’t you’re headed back to a watered down version of Phase One – over and over and over again.

Source and Comments:
http://esteemology.com/the-three-phases-of-a-narcissistic-relationship-cycle-over-evaluation-devaluation-discard/

U neva ready for marriage, if u ready u go no say 90% of men cheat on their wives.

Donbabajay12:
Just call d ur husby and make him understand ur feelings ..mab he can change his ways thou

Will understanding her feelings change anything... Infidelity is bad

gebest:
U neva ready for marriage, if u ready u go no say 90% of men cheat on their wives.

Yes men cheat, but 90% of married men?! That's outrageously absurd!
For every cheating husband, there's another who is ready to go the distance to love his woman only. What's sinful is sweet, only, wrongdoing does not appeal to everyone!

B

malton:

Yes men cheat, but 90% of married men?! That's outrageously absurd!
For every cheating husband, there's another who is ready to go the distance to love his woman only. What's sinful is sweet, only, wrongdoing does not appeal to everyone!

Agreed, am just trying to buttress a point.

nedu2000:
A man can cheat on his fiance and still love her,vowing to quit cheating after d wedding.....forgive him

U arent ready 4 marriage yet. May u find an angel 2 marry ok. marriage is a union of forgivers. Let go, some pplw av gone thru worst situation yet they av kept a secret. No big deal.

Lilimax:
Oh Sister!
You were too hasty to divorce your husband; just three days after the wedding.
Whatever you saw on his computer could have happened before he married you, who knows.
You should have talked it out with him and instruct him to delete them while you give him a benefit of the doubt.

I must say that the only reason I will divorce my husband is if he turns me to a punching bag.
Infidelity will never make me divorce him although I'm not praying for that.

U re a wife material. Dont mind her jare, she is still a baby. What shd shina peters wife do?

BerryScott:
marriage marriage marriage!!!!
dz word jst scares the $hit outta me.
its jst lyk a synonym to palava



God help us all

Hmmm, notin in life is easy gf.

quiinnBee:
she did the right thing.
she couldnt have lived with mistrust like that for the rest of her life

Professional marriage counsellor i hail ooo.

Lilimax:
Oh Sister!
You were too hasty to divorce your husband; just three days after the wedding.
Whatever you saw on his computer could have happened before he married you, who knows.
You should have talked it out with him and instruct him to delete them while you give him a benefit of the doubt.

I must say that the only reason I will divorce my husband is if he turns me to a punching bag.
Infidelity will never make me divorce him although I'm not praying for that.

Lets get married

I will make it easy by making sure you pick the ladies i sleep with yourself.

Infact threes.ome and org.y allowed. Like getting penetrated in both ways by you too.

Believe me, life is gonna be boring alone without doing adventurous stuffs like this.

freshcvvs:


Lets get married

I will make it easy by making sure you pick the ladies i sleep with yourself.

Infact threes.ome and org.y allowed. Like getting penetrated in both ways by you too.

Believe me, life is gonna be boring alone without doing adventurous stuffs like this.

Lilimax:

Don't be shy. Kamasutra is invoke.

Donbabajay12:
Just call d ur husby and make him understand ur feelings ..mab he can change his ways thou

Hmmmmm.... Maybe he changes! Thanks an expensive bargain