Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,195,579 members, 7,958,787 topics. Date: Thursday, 26 September 2024 at 12:35 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice (33036 Views)
Vicky Akins And Sayteh Tenneh: Lesbian Partners Are Engaged (Photos) / Nigerian Couple Who Met On Instagram Are Engaged (photos) / He Is Engaged But Still Stalking Me...??? (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by MadCow1: 9:14am On Nov 12, 2015 |
AVRecruit: Please go back and read again. I never said he should or should not marry an older or a younger woman. I never said wanting a younger woman is a bad thing either. Nothing in that write up says the girl has been around, so how you arrived at this is only forever going to be know exclusively to you. What was she doing all those years? A host of things comes to mind; Getting educated, Focusing on building a career and a life, self improvement, Living her life the best she can whilst waiting on true love to happen, e.t.c. Nobody talked about female empowerment or feminism here except you. I may be Mad, but you sure as hell have 'a Beautiful Mind'. #GoFigure. 1 Like |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by mohdimplez(m): 9:15am On Nov 12, 2015 |
[quote author=Cutehector post=39924924]Its not normal cold feet. U should be very much worried... U said it I love her out of pity. Neva eva marry out of pity... Instead, take her picture and while lookin at her, take a pen and paper and write out good reasons why u wr attracted to her in d first place.. What makes her so special. Look at the good sides and list dem out... While doin dis, ask for an alone time from her to think. One week should be enough.. No communication... Wen d week is ova, thank me later. I concur! You have said it all 1 Like |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by AVRecruit: 9:17am On Nov 12, 2015 |
richyuch: powerful post! |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by free2ryhme: 9:18am On Nov 12, 2015 |
fammo: if you mention certain cpncerns about her and still afraid to confront her about your doubts then there is a problem |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by simplisity(m): 9:18am On Nov 12, 2015 |
Who is pitying who? The lady suppose to pity the man bcs he didnt not know what he wants, atleast the lady knows what she wants and have gone for it. If u think u r pitying d lady by deciding to marry her, ur very wrong. I think u shld look beyond that and see that marrying her, is doing what is the right thing to do. The problm we men have is the ego to alwas absolve ourselves frm our wrongs and responsibilities, even when we cheat we must have reasons to absolve ourselves and still push the whole blames to women, failing to keep d vow we make in the beginning. We shld all know that we are not doing women favour by marrying them, that is how God has made it frm the begining which without living on earth would have been miserable. So, my brother, as long as u look beyond or take away that pity notion and take her as ur wife, the better for u, bcs u might have the same notion towards another lady, bcs thats jst d product of mind. Marriage is a union of two imperfect being, who came together to accept their imperfection. 4 Likes |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by TruthHurts1(m): 9:19am On Nov 12, 2015 |
What religion did she practice before she met you? |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Akhere1: 9:19am On Nov 12, 2015 |
You are already confused in life you don't no what to do you better seat properly and think what to do the woman you took to their parent you pronounce are want to marry your daughter sir you started having filling about her that mix you are claim the ladder |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Nobody: 9:20am On Nov 12, 2015 |
[size=13pt]Im a guy, and you fall my hand. personally i think its too late to start talking all these things when she has been only a good woman. No woman is perfect, you will never find one. shii, im sure you are not all that yourself or else you would be a super model yourself for C.K by now. If she has been only good to you, stay with her and determine to make the marriage work. Read the book of proverbs for wise words on marriage, ud be fine.[/size] 1 Like |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by AVRecruit: 9:21am On Nov 12, 2015 |
MadCow1: sorry boss im on a mobile device. only the 4th sentence of that post applies to u. the rest were my opinion. well females being educated pursuing career and being empowered by feminism till 32 keep doing that. its ur life! |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by MISSCONGENIALITY(f): 9:23am On Nov 12, 2015 |
If I were close to this op at the moment eh, I would have seperated him from his manhood. And the worst part of it is that they will still be the ones to accuse her of not getting married not knowing what she has experienced in the hands of men. 1 Like |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Nobody: 9:23am On Nov 12, 2015 |
Follow ur heart. He who wears shoe knows where it pinches |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Raymonbell(m): 9:23am On Nov 12, 2015 |
Seriously are you blind this all this year or you're looking for excuse to settle with young blood. Break up and ruin her life but remember God dey oooo |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Nobody: 9:25am On Nov 12, 2015 |
fexyrich:This person has said it all and this is the most useful so far. fammo, here's your advice, stick with it. Forget all else. God bless you, fexyrich 1 Like |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Adaeze003(f): 9:25am On Nov 12, 2015 |
The thing with nighaz is they feel they have allot of options. After all, desperate chicks are everywhere abi? Granted, it is not advisable to get married out of pity but like others are wondering, did you just notice her aging or what? Oh well, no matter who you want to marry, you'll ALWAYS have cold feet when you're almost there so that's something you must consider. Ultimately, it's your decision. If you don't want again, you let go... the earth will keep spinning. Hopefully she'll find someone else. 1 Like |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Nobody: 9:27am On Nov 12, 2015 |
He is having this feeling cos he close to marrying her...He never said he use to have issue with the aging...so it's a case of cold feet jaree...that's d feeling...u start feeling like it's out of pity that's why u're staying not knowing it's d love in you that is provoking d thoughts trying to justify why u shd not leave...am going through same now bro...but with time away from her I've discovered it's not more less been with her. 2 Likes |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by MyMentor: 9:28am On Nov 12, 2015 |
Boy, do u knw wot makes every1 2 bhave d way dey do? Dat is called TEMPERAMENT - eg. Sanguine, phlegmatic, MelSan, ChlMel etc. Don't marry witout knw these and d correct pair n knw if both of u match. I also tell ppl dat, Thinkin dat ur guy/gal is an angel is simply a sign of shot-sightednes and failur. Lov is nt blind. It is ppl who r blind. U must knw both hs wikneses and strnght durin kotshp bf u conclud weda u can acomodate doz wikneses. Test every love with your peace of mind, if peace of mind is absent, God is not in it. D knwlge of temprmnt is d begnin of sucesful marage. Gudluk! |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by yapapa: 9:29am On Nov 12, 2015 |
Jollyjoy:you are a big fool. I swear |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by coolsegun2002: 9:29am On Nov 12, 2015 |
fammo: I don't think u love her for real..yeah, u get along,sexx is probably very great btw u guys,...for u to say u love someone nd u can still notice how she looks to the extent that it bothers u so much u feel she's old....if a person loves another person truly, what every other person might see as a negative side will probably be a source of joy to u or something u won't even notice at all.....for we men physical attraction comes first before love from the heart...so if the physical attraction which probably starts from the face to other body physique is already a problem...I doubt u can do forever with this lady 2 Likes |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by AVRecruit: 9:30am On Nov 12, 2015 |
Raymonbell: i completely agree. this is unacceptable and hope she doesnt swear for you because if she does it most likely will come to pass. u just cant ruin someone's life like that. in as much as u have options as a man its ordered liberty for those seeking divine blessings. otherwise be prepared for nemesis. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Zellie: 9:30am On Nov 12, 2015 |
You only realised she looks older than you a week to your wedding Seriously? After everything she gave up for you? I have no words for you OP 1 Like |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Toks2008(m): 9:32am On Nov 12, 2015 |
fammo: Bro its your life and your solo journey..if you believe she does not turn you on physically by virtue of the age thing or whatever..please take a walk. It is a terrible thing to marry a lady you are not sexually attracted to physically,leave all the talks of good behavior and the GOD fearing thing. Please let her go and im positive she will find a man who will find her very young,extremely sexy and in-disposable. If you eventually marry her, you will love her alright but you will always have to fight the urge of not getting a lady out there who looks more alluring to you. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Nobody: 9:33am On Nov 12, 2015 |
yapapa:the isult isnt neccessary,there are more mature way of passing your point across. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Juzzybabe(f): 9:33am On Nov 12, 2015 |
My dear,you are right,we all give advices,but cant advice ourselves. Please DO NOT MARRY OUT OF PITY! If your heart tells you can't do it,if you feels nothing for her,if you cant see the good in her superceeding the bad,if u cant see a bright future with a woman that will give you beautiful kids and bring them up well,if you cant see a soulmate ,if u can spend a full day without her and not give a tought about her,then i will ask you to quit. but if 80% of these is yes,then you better brace up and make a life with her. It is very normal for a guy to have that misbelieve before he says "am ready". One of my brothers,after his introduction which no one forced him to do,came and told my mum he's not sure about it. i feel the reason y most guys have that doubt at that stage is becus they think there is a perfect woman that will make a perfect home out there. the fact is no,there isnt any perfect woman as there is no perfect man. If you have love & pity,you guys can work out but if just pity,forget it. as for the aging,it might be due to stress,you can make her look younger u know. One secret in marriage is,make your partner what you want him or her to be,and you will alwyas feel satisfied. Mind you,if u leave her to go find another,you will still post a problem here seeking advice. Not a curse but becus almost all good girls have all gone bad.... 2 Likes |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Anjelus(m): 9:34am On Nov 12, 2015 |
fammo:Am a married man with more than 10years experience, so take my advise serious; u will be a very wicked man to discontinue the relationship @ dis point in time, whoever advise u to call it quit now knows nothing about marriage because all d excuses u av given is abt her physical attributes and not d essential part of marriage which is her character. So leaving her now only means one thing: YOU ARE NOT MATURED ENOUGH FOR MARRIAGE! So stop looking for advises that will suit ur inordinate desire and stick to d lovely diamond U av been very fortunate to have. MARRIAGE IS ABOUT SACRIFICES AND SHE HAS MADE THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE FOR YOU. Please go ahead and make that woman happy, remain blessed as you do the needful. 3 Likes |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by ceewaiyho2007: 9:34am On Nov 12, 2015 |
kramfonos: I support this idea 100%. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by activelyA(f): 9:35am On Nov 12, 2015 |
fammo: My brother, God is watching you ooo Since October 2006 you have been on nairaland, only one topic and 206 posts!!! Your mates who registered with you have got 175 topics and 23674 posts !!! Seun should fine you for being an unrepentant observer on this forum!!! Damnn 1 Like |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by MyMentor: 9:36am On Nov 12, 2015 |
Boy, do u knw wot makes every1 2 bhave d way dey do? Dat is called TEMPERAMENT - eg. Sanguine, phlegmatic, MelSan, ChlMel etc. Don't marry witout knw these and d correct pair n knw if both of u match. I also tell ppl dat, Thinkin dat ur guy/gal is an angel is simply a sign of shot-sightednes and failur. Lov is nt blind. It is ppl who r blind. U must knw both hs wikneses and strnght durin kotshp bf u conclud weda u can acomodate doz wikneses. Test every love with your peace of mind, if peace of mind is absent, God is not in it. D knwlge of temprmnt is d begnin of sucesful marage. Gudluk! |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by aydotaone(m): 9:36am On Nov 12, 2015 |
JumpingChicken: Best Advice Ever. U make sense bro |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by yapapa: 9:36am On Nov 12, 2015 |
Jollyjoy:oya wayre ni? who be your papa mate? |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by missKiffy(f): 9:39am On Nov 12, 2015 |
I think your just developing cold feet, I mean why didn't you notice she looks older from the onset, why now after the introduction |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by deramarks(f): 9:40am On Nov 12, 2015 |
I don't wana read ur thread just break d engagemennt if u have doubt else...dat doubt is goina turn to divorce |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (Reply)
Man Shares Heartbreaking Experience With Girlfriend Of 5 Years / What Can You Say About This Picture / 4 Things You Should Know About Your Future Partner
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 102 |