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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice (33023 Views)
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Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by CaroLyner(f): 1:35pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
Sweetlemon:alright.i see you point...its left to him |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by bronzegoddess(f): 1:57pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
naijaboiy:naijaboy. Read his post well, read it very well. What was the only flaw he stated? "She looks older", he loves her, always had. But just 2weeks to his wedding, he thinks she is too old, I know d op's thoughts are just being manipulated by d devil. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by adet991(f): 2:08pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
misspicy:na real imagine talk o |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by rose4flower(f): 3:00pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
Michellla:Real wickedness from d bottomless pit of hell |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by duduyemi2003: 4:02pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
Op is yet to tell us all the real truth. If i may ask, you guys have been dating for like how long? As much as i want to agree with what you said i still have my doubt. Maybe it is now that you are attracted to another lady by the side and coming up with excuses. This new found attraction is also making you have a rethink. I believe you know her age before you start dating and you also know what she looks like, so why now with all the flimsy excuses? I will advice if the lady truly loves you go for her. Happy marriage is never in the age nor in the look but love, understanding, trust and truth in all dealings among all other things. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by smartsammie(m): 4:07pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
Patented:you are right. Op hope you are not the spiritual type that has visited some prophets. Say the truth there is definitely more to the ageing bullshit . |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by 6fit(f): 4:13pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
Cholls: pls wetin concern devil for this mata now? |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Cholls(m): 4:19pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
6fit:my sister devil works on the mind. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by albridge(m): 4:22pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
marriage serious business. if you have doubts then dont. simple. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by fpeter(f): 4:32pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
after knacking AKPAKO you come here dey give excuses mumu boy. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Nobody: 4:42pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
fammo: Love is a choice not a feeling. You choose to love a person everyday even when you don't like them. The only thing that I see as a red flag is she changed her religion. Did she change because she saw truth or did she change just to be with you? |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Nobody: 4:43pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
bronzegoddess:what is the matter with you I aired my view,why nt kindly give your advice afterall we are entitled to our own opinion... It my opinion,if you see it as childish it is your problem not mine. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by sunnyt1(m): 5:05pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
fammo: This is half or one-third of the story, its your own side of the table. Could you be honest enough to tell us the things you benefited from the relationship within the period you dated? Is it admittable that you didnt benefit anything and you stayed on for this long/ I will comment more elaborately when you give us the full details of everything that transpired btw you two |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by toksbisola: 5:06pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
@Op; to love some one is a beautiful thing. When one is in a relationship that they think would lead to marriage, there are certain factors you need to consider before taking the “I DO STEP” viz; Love, Compatibility, Respect and Friendship. Some people do have cold-feet to the period leading up to their wedding day. In your case, I’ll say in all honesty, you are not being sincere to yourself as to what exactly you want in a wife. You are also picking on mundane things such as her being your age mate to justify your actions. From my observation, it takes a man a few weeks/months and not few years to know if the lady he is with WOULD END UP BEING HIS WIFE. You didn’t come out here to say she’s rude, disrespectful, nagging, dirty, lazy, can’t cook, can’t clean, doesn’t love you, not caring, dbla dbla dbla etc (then I’ll have understood your stance) rather you pick on the fact that you are both age mates as a factor for justifying your doubts. This woman who has sacrificed a lot for you deserves someone better; if the only thing that you have a problem with is her being your age mate and looking older than you. What I can’t understand is why you even said HELLO to her initially let alone going ahead to date her for a few LONG and LONELY years;, engage her, and then do an introduction; when you knew from day one that both of you are age mates and she looked older than you; I just can’t bring myself to understand it. Has it ever occurred to you why some men marry a woman based on the external traits that they want her to posses? It’s simply because if the wife lacks in that department and they eventually marry her there is a high percentage of them straying when the opportunity presents itself. Note these 2 points; 1) Never marry anyone out of pity simply because you have been with them for a long time and you don’t want them to lose out. 2) Marry for true love so that when the challenges start occurring in the marital bond (and best believe challenges would arise) that the love both of you have built up would be able to withstand the ups and downs that would occur; take note that MARRIAGE IS NOT A BED OF ROSES. It would be in your best interest to DECIDE NOW IF YOU CAN PUT UP WITH HER BEING YOUR AGE MATE. She is a woman whose biological clock is thicking and if you honestly wouldn't be able to look beyond this age factor; PLEASE FREE HER AND FREE YOURSELF. Don’t have a selfish attitude (No offence hope none taken) where you want to have your cake and eat it by keeping her and STILL HAVING DOUBTS. Having said that, you’re not yet married to your fiancé and as you’re already having doubts, it is better for both of you to count your financial loss and shame before the wedding takes place; than when the wedding occurs, you start misbehaving and engaging in the cheating act. In all, people can only advice you about the pros and cons about going ahead with this marriage but can’t decide for you as only you can make that final decision. No one else would be there with you in your marital home as you’ll be the one who would live with whatever situation that arises if you go ahead with the marriage. Let me remind you that a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. It'll be totally out of a selfish interest to allow her to chase other men away (one man’s meet is another man’s poison) with her knowledge that she has met her husband; meanwhile her man is in doubt if he has met his wife; as that’s the way it looks at the moment. I’ll strongly advice you to think deeply before pulling the plug on the relationship. Also note that you might find a younger lady (who might deal with you mercilessly through her character) but might not be a “Wife material”. As it stands, don’t rush into anything CALLED MARRIAGE FOR NOW AS YOU DON'T COME ACROSS AS SOMEONE WHO IS READY TO TAKE THAT STEP YET (apologies for being brutal). On a side note, with a good diet/health regime, coupled with a good exercise routine, she probably will age gracefully; hence, you might not need to worry too much about her looking older than you. FOR LADIES, PLEASE AND PLEASE don't ever wait and stay glued to a man that is having doubts about you. Never allow desperation overtake your thinking and say there might not be another man available to love you for who and how you are as that would be a fallacy and totally wrong. You probably might be chasing other men who meet your criteria away by remaining with the one you are managing to your own detriment. I rest my case. 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by jordanice007: 5:09pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
this is one of the consequences of dating ur age-mate |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by olowoeko(m): 5:13pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
When u were phucking, was it out of pity?she made sacrifices for u, CHANGED HER RELIGION, now few weeks to marriage, u discovered she is looking old...I pity your life, seems u got another beautiful young damsel u eyeing abi? Guy don't lose a diamond while picking up stones, I have seen few of her type, u better go ahead and put ring on that finger.....ingrate.olojukokoro |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by FaskRolce: 5:36pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
Something just came to my mind as I read your comment. @OP, sit her down and discuss ur fears with her. Who knows, she might have same thought towards you but not bold enough to voice it out. Nelgenius4me: |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Cruisenaani(m): 7:15pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
JumpingChicken:Mr man, u r a big shame 2 d generation of responsible guys. Imagine, u just make dis babe dey insult boboz. If u no marry d@ gurl ehn, d kind thunder weh go fire u & d new gurl weh dey deceive u dey pre-season 4 russia. Idii...ooottt! |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by JumpingChicken(m): 7:17pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
Cruisenaani: Bros wetin I do? |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by kpolli(m): 8:20pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
fammo: So from your write up, your only resentment is the fact that she looks older than you..... Please break up and go pick a younger girl that will be in the stock market with lots of investors 1 Like |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by rosalieene(f): 9:42pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
[ How sure are you that the other supposed YOUNGER-LOOKING girls aren't being masked by the thick coat of EMULSION PAINT they smear on their faces? I think your priorities are misplaced. [/size][/i][/font][/b][/color][/quote] guy you dey mean oo! which one be emulsion paint again. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by rosalieene(f): 9:44pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
kramfonos: guy! you dey mean oo! which one be emulsion paint again? |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by bronzegoddess(f): 10:23pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
Jollyjoy: I have no problem my dear. I only aired my opinion, just as u did, urs |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by erumena(m): 10:26pm On Nov 12, 2015 |
fammo: You are not going through with the relationship out pity, instead you are trying so hard to convince yourself not to marry her. You are better off with a woman that can make sacrifices just to make a relationship work than one who is younger but self-centred. Go ahead with the marriage, you'll be glad U did. 1 Like |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by jaymdee(m): 2:00am On Nov 13, 2015 |
Love is all that matters.
|
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Hope6289(f): 9:04am On Nov 13, 2015 |
kramfonos: You are a seriously sensible person, God bless your head! |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by Nobody: 9:47am On Nov 13, 2015 |
Cutehector: I think nowadays, all the love tins r scrap. Na lost (satisfy our sexual desire) 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by ReabridCharles(m): 9:55am On Nov 13, 2015 |
I know am not married but I believe marriage is what you make of it and not what you assume it to be. How would you feel if that lady told you the same thing? You know you love her, that evident but you're looking too far into the future and it would surely scare you. |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by fammo: 11:14am On Nov 13, 2015 |
erumena:Thank you....i appreciate |
Re: We Are Engaged, But Im Having Doubts, Pls I Need Your Advice by PaulSteve: 5:52pm On Nov 16, 2015 |
Thank you....i appreciate[/quote] @Fammo,I believe by now you have done the wedding,congrats! |
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