[b]Nairaland association of aspiring successful husbands and wives[\b]
Where are the married people to make sense of the question? How many of y'all are married? Or are you opinions based on years of play play relationships?

most women will say i reject it in Jesus name to this issue
but to be truthful about this. is that most women want romance to continue after marrage
but while the man want romance to stop after the marrage
men spend much during romance and want to end such spending after marrage
which women sees as if the guy has changed attitude

baby money is not easy to come by so stop looking for gifts everyday and be a wife for God sake

women do change from girlfriend to oga madam after marrage( how do expect Mr Johnson to continue making magic
after I do- I do. women should now assume there place as wives. but in most cases they want to remain hard to get lady.

that is why men get bored few mins after marrage. so singles learn from this and act right

FL Gators:

Sometimes I wonder about you men. Must every problem in marriage originate fromt he bedroom?
Somes I begin to think that marriage is about spicing things up inthe bedroom.
No, problem might be more emotional that the physical.
Possible she changed after she caught her fish, yes.
And he might also have stopped courting her and pleasing her as he used to.
Change in attitude, Change in expression and change in characteristics might be the case here.

its funny how, out of everything i wrote, you only "picked up" on the bedroom part!!!!!
ok here is what i wrote read it again THIS TIME,dont emphasize to much on the bedroom bit. btw the bolded statement above is EXACTLY what i am saying. 
if you opened your mind, and read more carefully, you would see that my comment was directed at BOTH SEX!

we all know that some women think of marriage like GOING FISHING and as soon as they got the "big fish" they think that they dont have to do anything any longer. men are no better, they hunt for that "perfect" bride doing some crazy stunts and when they got her, then they lie down and think that all is well. WRONG!!!!!
marriage is like a flower, you have to water it for it to blossom. the same way that people were wooing each other during dating, is the same way they have to try to keep that fire burning by wooing each other AFTER marriage, years after years. as hard as it may seem, if you dont do fun stuff together, if you dont take care of your appearance, if you dont spice things up in the bedroom, if you dont try to seduce you partner then that relationship is bound to go downhill.

Boredom is not subject to gender.

I suggests couple take a break from each other once a while. . . ya know, go on leave like you do at work or holiday like you do in school.

Separate yourself for a moment and you'll learn to appreciate it more [size=3pt]or not[/size]

Sisi Jinx:

Boredom is not subject to gender.

Yeah obviously. But for the sake of argument

I suggest couple take a break from each other once a while. . . ya know, go on leave like you do at work or holiday like you do in school.

Seperate yourself for a moment and you'll learn to appreaciate it more [size=3pt]or not[/size]

I disagree. Couples do not need to separate to enjoy holidays or vacations. Marriage is a lifelong commitment of togetherness.

MRbrownJAY:

its funny how, out of everything i wrote, you only "picked up" on the bedroom part!!!!!
ok here is what i wrote read it again THIS TIME,dont emphasize to much on the bedroom bit. btw the bolded statement above is EXACTLY what i am saying.
if you opened your mind, and read more carefully, you would see that my comment was directed at BOTH SEX!

we all know that some women think of marriage like GOING FISHING and as soon as they got the "big fish" they think that they dont have to do anything any longer. men are no better, they hunt for that "perfect" bride doing some crazy stunts and when they got her, then they lie down and think that all is well. WRONG!!!!!
marriage is like a flower, you have to water it for it to blossom. the same way that people were wooing each other during dating, is the same way they have to try to keep that fire burning by wooing each other AFTER marriage, years after years. as hard as it may seem, if you dont do fun stuff together, if you dont take care of your appearance, if you dont spice things up in the bedroom, if you dont try to seduce you partner then that relationship is bound to go downhill.

Okay, mind opened! K, got your point.
I must have ready this while I was sleepy. You're absolutely right, THIS TIME.

Acid. . . Familiarity, they say, breeds contempt.

Sisi Jinx:

Acid. . . Familiarity, they say, breeds contempt.

If that's the case, then one would have developed contempt for his/her family members which is mostly not true. Your perception of your wife matters in all of this.

You are right. . . it is perception of the OTHER PERSON (be it wife, mother, sister, brother, uncle, daddy, grand daddy. . .whatever) that matters.

Because 80% of people i know, marry for the wrong reasons!!

Note: Marriage is not about sex, love, feelings and all that, that one can get bored of but Marriage is about COMMITMENT

dreeldee:

If that's the case, then one would have developed contempt for his/her family members which is mostly not true. Your perception of your wife matters in all of this.

yeah like duhh sisi lol

you eat rice and stew 4 one week, e no go tire u?

annyplenty:


Most married men complained of being bored of their wives soon after wedding and they start nursing a feeling of getting an extra  spice from outside, I mean from another woman.

What will make a man get bored of his wife not too long into the wedding?.

Men get bored because women stop trying to look attractive once they get married.
I am not sure if it's laziness or it's just the fact that they believe there's no need to dress to impress anymore.
Another pressing issue is the dramatic change in size of our women.
Size 10 on the day of the wedding, size 18(2 years later).

husbands get tired because of the

same siht different day rule. you have to shake things up to keep it interesting

if men get bored of their variety of booty calls, why wont they get bored of their wives?

The fact is, people get bored.

Simple.

But on the other hand, about sex, I actually did read a story about a woman who tried some some kinky stuff in the bedroom , but , amazingly, her husband shouted at her, called her a prostitute, and sent her packing. The poor woman was too ashamed to admit what she had done wrong to her aged mother. Eventually, after a month, he came back for her. But she never tried anything like that again. And later he complained of her being frigid. 

i dont think the eventual boredom is d problem, d problem is wat to do when boredom sets in. for me,constant communication, trying new things together each partner voicing his or her concern(no matter wat) n most importantly being reasonable is key,

IF YOU MARRY UR FRIEND, SHE WONT GET U BORED

I dated my wife for 9 years, 11mths and 17days before we got married. I dont see her just as a sex object, but as a lover, friend, mother, sister and my better half. I've never been bored with her and I can say same for her

Please dont get me wrong; we do have our problems and misunderstandings, but we'll always come together to talk about it cos we know shouting and nagging at each other will never solve our problems but rather add to it. Most importantly we pray together.

NL is full of wise and intellectual people and many have given a lot of useful contributions to this topic. Notwithstanding, from my little understanding of problems in marriage; most of the causes of boredom in marriage highlighted are the end products of little misunderstandings that couples refused to talk over. Many refuse to discuss their displeasure(s) with their spouses. Many also finds it difficult to say sorry for their wrong doings no matter how small or big. All these little problems when left unresolved, can make u feel bored and cold towards ur spouse.

One may ask: what is this guy ranting about? Simple. Make sure your spouse is your best friend, your confidant and someone you can easily communicate with and I bet u wont get bored with him/her.

Shallom!

Chrisbenogor:

[b]Nairaland association of aspiring successful husbands and wives[\b]
Where are the married people to make sense of the question? How many of y'all are married? Or are you opinions based on years of play play relationships?

Hi All. I've been married for 7 years and it’s not always easy. Marriage is a wonderful blessing, particularly when the kids came too but it is HARD WORK. Especially for a woman! We have to try and find a compromise between being a respectful, submissive and Christian wife who can take care of the home, kids and also hold down a job/career - and yes, we also have to still try and look hot (weight, hair, nails etc) and be sexy when we've been up all night with babies, spent the weekend running around after in-laws and slogged away in the office. It is very easy to slip into the comfort zone and either be asleep or looking like shit in trackies by the time husband comes home after a long day. Its not what he wants to come home to! I try my best to have a clean and calm home for him to come home to - and a clean and cute looking wifey too!!  

Its super important to marry someone you genuinely cannot live without and someone who you really get on with - we are really good friends and I'm lucky enough that he talks to me about business issues and asks my advice on things to do with his office - HOWEVER we must be careful not to slip into the "best friend" role where the love becomes like brother/sister - and as most of the guys in this forum joyously pointed out - it IS about the sex, if that slips, all else fails, and interest wanes, and we all know how many chicks are waiting to service your man in Naija if you let them,

Of course, some guys are assholes and will get bored anyway, no matter what their wife does!  

topsy25:

IF YOU MARRY UR FRIEND, SHE WONT GET U BORED

I dated my wife for 9 years, 11mths and 17days before we got married. I dont see her just as a sex object, but as a lover, friend, mother, sister and my better half. I've never been bored with her and I can say same for her

Please dont get me wrong; we do have our problems and misunderstandings, but we'll always come together to talk about it cos we know shouting and nagging at each other will never solve our problems but rather add to it. Most importantly we pray together.

Yes I absolutely agree - FRIENDSHIP, COMMUNICATION and PRAYERS.

mrsb:

Hi All. I've been married for 7 years and it’s not always easy. Marriage is a wonderful blessing, particularly when the kids came too but it is HARD WORK. Especially for a woman! We have to try and find a compromise between being a respectful, submissive and Christian wife who can take care of the home, kids and also hold down a job/career - and yes, we also have to still try and look hot (weight, hair, nails etc) and be sexy when we've been up all night with babies, spent the weekend running around after in-laws and slogged away in the office. It is very easy to slip into the comfort zone and either be asleep or looking like shit in trackies by the time husband comes home after a long day. Its not what he wants to come home to! I try my best to have a clean and calm home for him to come home to - and a clean and cute looking wifey too!!
Its super important to marry someone you genuinely cannot live without and someone who you really get on with - we are really good friends and I'm lucky enough that he talks to me about business issues and asks my advice on things to do with his office - HOWEVER we must be careful not to slip into the "best friend" role where the love becomes like brother/sister - and as most of the guys in this forum joyously pointed out - it IS about the sex, if that slips, all else fails, and interest wanes, and we all know how many chicks are waiting to service your man in Naija if you let them,
Of course, some guys are assholes and will get bored anyway, no matter what their wife does!

U're quite right Mrs. b Passionate love making with a clean and cute wife cannot be replaced with anything

Couples should learn to spice up their mariages once in a while. when u continue doing the same thing over and over again, you will get bored soon. so spice it up by taken her put or visiting. At least doing something diferent. have a weekend trip or lodge in a hotel and have fun. This things are important to mariages. Buying sexy clothes for her ( those cloths u like on others that atracts you). Variety, they say is the spice of life

@MRbrownJAY. you've summarised all the answer to this great myth. People can go all round and spend years to labour/heart aches but would still have to come back to the truth you shared.

Cos reality sets in.

well i think it depends largely on the foundation of their relationship, if they were friends before marriage a man wont get bored of his wife easily not to forget dat friends also leave each other but d main thing is if the man gets tired he must jst continue to relate wit his wife if not for anytin but for the sake of their wedding vows and most importantly the love they share.

Utali:

Because 80% of people i know, marry for the wrong reasons!!

I absolutely agree with you.
A guys who usually have his ways with difference girlfriends when he was still single will always be bored with the wife because he is used to variaties.
THESE IS STILL THE SINGLE REASON WHY RESEARCH HAS IT THAT 90% OF MARRIED MEN WILL STILL KEEP GIRLFRIENDS.

the formula to a long lasting marriage is simple:

be a freak in  the bedroom

a lady on  the streets

be able to throw-down in the kitchen

in your marriage be a renaissance woman , at any time "T" keep him guessing 

every married man knows that its true,but it depends on how they live their lives, if the man is a buisnessman that travels for buisness wthout his wife, this helps the lonlyness makes him realise that his half is very importnat ,,,,,and in the other hand married couples must arrange for time outs for themselves, go out to enjoy weekends without talkin normal daily issues and also at the end of the year try go on holidyas outside the country or outside their residing states, to ave fun and renew their love

Usually after wedding you tend to discover each other like you are unwrapping your wedding gifts, then you discover things you did not know about the other person.

A lot of men like excitement so they cheat if they can't get it from their wives. It is usually the woman who works harder to make the marriage work.

Nevertheless, you are there to complement each other, if you are the bubbling type & he is the boring type then you have to come up with new ideas to keep the fire burning, you have to find out what makes him tick. Women work harder to make things work.

Communication is very important, but don't nag, talk to him about how you feel, cause he might be ignorant - some men don't know any better.

Always give him something to look forward to. You have to be his wife, his girlfriend, his best pal etc. Be approachable !!! be adventurous!!!

Always look good even when you are in doors. Don't look like an old woman while breast feeding.

i think becus she,talk more than she shows love,and no respect for the man,but some men,dont listen and the woman has to repeat her self for so many times and that cus a problem in the house ,

Marriage is not easy at all. It needs a lot of emotional, psychological and spiritual maturity to carry on. But no matter what, marriage is worthwhile.