[size=18pt]Can your daughter marry a foreigner?[/size]
By GIDEON OPARINDE {08076616717 tomgidops@yahoo.com]
Sunday, May 24, 2009

As Africans, does cultural difference still determine the choice of one’s spouse in this age and time? For those who believe that love is blind and knows no colour, it does not. What matters is compatibility and, perhaps, understanding. But, that could be for the love-birds and not their parents, who may be clinging to some age-old customs and traditions. Some mothers still loathe the idea of their daughters ‘straying’ away from the enclave to pick a partner. To such mothers, marrying a foreigner is a taboo.

MRS RACHAEL OYELOWO
There is nothing wrong with that; she can marry him, irrespective of where he comes from. After all, we are in a global village. They can go ahead; so far they love each other and it is the will of God for them. The major thing is to know the guy’s background, his people for good reasons and so that my daughter will not disappear into thin air just like that. More so, there are many foreign women who marry Nigerians.

MRS AINA HARRISON
Foreigner? No way, it will never work. I cannot, provided the man is not from my country. Secondly, I know that sooner or later, he would want to relocate back to his country and I may never see my daughter again. I wouldn’t know what would happen to her over there. I cannot sell her out to somebody whose roots I don’t know. I cannot watch my daughter disappear into thin air, no.

As a mother, I’m not trying to be over-protective, but I’m trying to avoid circumstances where she will get to her husband’s country and I won’t see her again or know what she is going through or whether her in-laws are maltreating her. Definitely, I would feel her absence if she gets married but not to the extent of finally leaving for her husband’s country. It won’t just work.

BUNMI OLANIYAN
Yes, but there are things to know about such a man before approving of such a marriage or relationship. My daughter, on the other hand, is expected to have known little or more about his relatives or people close to him before telling me anything about him. After this, as parents, we need to do some findings whether to continue with the relationship or not. Marriage is all about enjoyment not endurance. The only thing she needs is prayers.

MRS BOLAJI AJAI
Why not? They can go ahead so far they love each other. Secondly, I cannot impose any man on her. It is her life because nobody forced anyone on me. The greatest thing I expect is her joy and comfort in the marriage.

MRS LEWA
Why not? As long as the two are in love. What matters most is that the man should be God-fearing. In addition, whatever my husband says matters more on this issue. It means he also has to contribute to it.

GBEMI ABOLARIN
I can’t say for now, but if he is God-fearing and loves my daughter, there is no problem.
But the truth is that even if my daughter likes him, I will table it before God. He has the final say. What matters most is both parties loving each other.

LADY B
I cannot choose for her nor force her to marry someone against her wish. She can marry whoever pleases her inasmuch as they are in love with each other. My prayers will be that God should bless their marriage, give her joy, peace and the gifts that go along with marriage.
Responsible parents no longer choose or impose spouses on their children any more. It is no longer in vogue. Rather, parents should endeavour to pray along with them before, during and after their marriage.

MRS FELICIA P
Although it would be painful allowing one’s daughter to go into another family entirely, that does not really matter. Every woman, I believe, can marry from anywhere, irrespective of the country, tribe or race. Anyone could ask for one’s hands in marriage; we are meant to be adored. We shouldn’t look down on any man or discriminate because nobody knows what tomorrow holds for us. This problem contributes to late marriage or inability to get the right husband in life. For instance, you reject or turn down several men’s proposals, you should know that age is counting on you, as you are not growing younger.
Nobody knows who her messiah could be. Therefore, we have to grab every good opportunity that comes our way and utilise it properly. What I would only tell God is that He should bless the marriage, make her comfortable, protect her and make her in-laws her parents, not masters and mistresses.

ADEGOKE AYOTUNDE
No, I will never agree because majority of these foreigners don’t appreciate or value our marriage culture unlike our men here. On the contrary, if it is a Nigerian that shows interest in my daughter, there is no problem about that; I will freely approve of it. After all, they can later live anywhere on earth for the rest of their days. http://www.sunnewsonline.com/webpages/features/wiveslive/2009/may/24/wiveslive-24-05-2009-001.htm