Oh Lord... I pray when its time for me to get married , u would be give a husband like this , In Jesus name, AMEN.

Oh Lord... I pray when its time for me to get married , u would be give a husband like this , In Jesus name, AMEN.
Bt with a pinch of standing up to wat he thinks is ryt sha...

Divorce ke? In this matter. My dear sister I dnt understand u ooo. Ur hubby loves u as much as dis and u are talking of divorce, all these ur complains is what someone somewhere needs from her hubby. If there are any of the attitudes u are not comfortable with, talk to him about it lovingly and I knw he will understand cos of his love for u. Besides ur marriage is just a year and u are talking of him over loving u its normal dis period now. Abi? That's just my own point of view oo

With WOMEN....

Ojim07:
Nothing is ever OK.

Op I cannot say I know how u feel but I have an inkling. Obsession and idolizing are almost thesame. They are not healthy.

You sound the way you do probably because you have not been able to pour your heart out. People have been talking to you but perhaps no one has listened.

You both should talk . Since he would do just about anything for you im sure he will not mind seeing a marriage counsellor with you. Have a round table

Also have you both talked about having babies? Babies are blessings! Your hubby will have to divide all that love and affection some may feel jealous initially tho but you cant help but love them unconditionally and im sure this lover boy will have enough to go round Lol

All these takes time. He did not start all these today so you dont expect him to switch off like a tap.

This should not be a ground for divorce.Its all on you to help him, he needs you to help him be the man you fantasise about

What this young woman needs is just some ''DRAMA''..to spice things up. You know, the marriage seems too boring for her, nothing thrilling is happening.

This is what I will suggest:

1. Let the man start womanizing.

2. Let him show his dictatorial tendencies.

3. He should start treating her like the housemaid.

4. He should just stop giving a damn about the ''idolized'' wife.

Once your husband does the above, he will stop commiting idolatry through you...

OR is that not what you want?

Adeolakk:

totally understand you Bro. I think her husband didnt get enough experience before marrying her. He is still trying to please her 100%. Thats d problem
its sad that people don't understand her plight here.

Experience being series of heartbreaks.
Lets hope it doesn't some to that before he is jolted to reality.

its obvious that your husband is obsessed with you.i dont know if there is a known cure for obsession but i know that you need to fast and pray i.e if you still want to remain married to him.
we all know that an obsessive person is a jealous person and jealousy has endlessheights,he can become violent tomorrow.
you should also seek professional help like psychologist who can tell you how far it has eaten deep in him.if you love him just the way you say you do,then you will do whatever it takes to keep him stable.


#TeamNoDivorce.

Op, divorce your husband and marry me.

Believe me I will make you submissive

favoured234:
OP, please try to see the positive side of this behavior, with time you will appreciate the fact that you did..
I believe you feel like you need some air, some challenges and more to keep you excited, it might not be worth all the drama
I know of a guy that divorced about 6 months ago, I strongly believe that this is what his wife was going through cos he literally adores, she had the luxuries of life, he takes her word as law, all for love and a peaceful home but she went for a divorce after about 7 years of marriage.

Now he said he is happier and will give everything to avoid going back to the marriage cos she seems to be wanting to come back.

Please just try to exhaust all positive avenues before opting for divorce

Really? Divoice without tangible reason which they will shrouded irreconsiliable differences. Women!

I no just understandable y una replies long pass the op problem abi weti

enstack:


I had to respond to you. Perhaps you are missing the point here. I never said he is too loving or something. If i am to write all the silly things he does in the name of love you wont even be able to read it all. I just put a few.

Even neighbors around have noticed it. They have called me to order many times! His elder sister accused me of giving him a love portion. Its that bad! You call this love? Then I'm sorry i don't want such love anymore. The other day, i asked him to purchase something for me, he had no money, instead of him to talk to me about being short on funds, he went to take a loan to get it. Something that even I dont need so urgently(He is still owing his partner for it)

So sir, read again and understand! Dont be to hasty in talking or commenting. Call me a girl, Its no big deal. After all, this same Man threatened to stand in the middle of the road if i dont accompany him on his field trip. This type of a man can commit suicide if i dont give him what he wants at a given time.

OP I totally understand how you feel? I have been in that type of blood suckling relationship, the guy was crazy about me,told all my friends to stop calling me Uzo n call me her eminence,called me 100 times a day. It's tiring I tell you,everyone needs some me time. When I made up my mind to break up with him,my brother was scared for me, he said the boy could kill me and then commit sucide so both of us would die together and advised me to do it in an open place. Yes,it was that bad.
It was easier for me to walk away cos it was a bf/gf thing but marriage is not as easy to walk away from, talk to him about it and if he doesn't change,you guys should see a marriage counsellor.
Wish you a blissful marriage.

Honey this is the reason why u should learn someone properly before saying I do. How long did u guys date? was he like this even at that time? Maybe it is his real personality and all u have to do is to know how to handle him. Marriage is all about compromise. We learn the other one's persona then we teach ourselves how we are going to respond to hit. If u know he is to soft for u, then u just have to know where yo limit ends. U have to know the kinds of things u can say or ask from him, so that u don't feel like u r taking advantage of him. Coz u already know dat he is dat kind of a man

coolcalm13:
Oh Lord... I pray when its time for me to get married , u would be give a husband like this , In Jesus name, AMEN.
Bt with a pinch of standing up to wat he thinks is ryt sha...

You better don't wish yourself what you don't fully understand.

Op Abeg stop feeding us with poo, stop it abeg!!!
haba!! just come out clean and tell us the truth about your husbands behavior.

The jazz wey Babalawo give you done over work and since you no love the poor man from the start it's beginning to make you feel uncomfortable,maybe people done dey notice the effect of your jazz. Free the poor man before thunder go fire you idiot!!!

optimusprime2:

I carefully read your whole writeup, hence my whole quote... Firstly (Pardon me for being Blunt) I think you are quite a Naive, selfish and shallow woman who is insensitive to a man as delicate natured as your husband- for a start, I believe you are a christian, go and read the book of Proverbs chapter 31 vs 10-31 it should give you insight of the role of a good wife.
Many women pray for the kind of man you have as a husband, and here you are complaining about what you have... A wife is a friend, a partner, a buddie et al, apparently you have'nt carved out that Niche for your husband, because you have already viewed and tagged him as a weakling.
Secondly You lack the caring instinct of a mother; if you did, you would have known how to adjust your husband to fit your specs, with Love. Cant you see he is as a child to you? I wonder how you would care for kids with special needs with an attitude of insensitivity like this...
Thirdly, you are inconsiderate; Because you know that's how he is and yet you choose to exploit his shortcomings/weaknesses, then complain in the end- You should be ashamed of yourself.
Fourthly, You are the solitary lady- basically you love doing your thingys alone. It's unfortunate you married a man who values company and companionship, now in marriage, the definition of you is "Selfish" because all you lookout for is "You" ... sorry girl thats the picture I see.
Fifth, Your perspective of marriage is so shallow... And I have a deep pity for you because you still think marriage is post courtship, an indirect reflection of your psychological immaturity (Geez I'm really sorry for the bluntness but I just cant help it)
Sixth, You are just not romantic period.... (A wife beater would have suited you just fine)
If you think people will come and sympathize with you here on Nairaland for your woes and complaints on this matter, you are wrong, very wrong .... Go and analyse your shortcomings woman and fix up your marriage.
Overall I feel bad for your husband- it's really not his fault. He married a girl not a woman. (Sorry girl just being blunt)

Nobody needs to say anything further. You nailed it.

enstack:

Now it has gotten worse. Everytime he does anything I want without asking questions. At first I enjoyed it but now I'm starting to worry about him as it's getting out of hand. He does not display any act of manliness in the house. He behaves like my puppet or my foot stool. The other day he was watching the soccer game and I just jokingly mentioned how boring it was and I would prefer the faith channel. He changed the channel to the faith channel just like that. Even at work he would be calling me and texting me I am even scared he would loose his job if his employer finds out.

Its like your Husband fantasizes on Femdom (female domination) or Cuckold relationships.... you can do a google image search about it, he might have seen it in a po**rn video before you got married.

just talk him out of it, never act the dominant around him, his psychology has been re-programmed to like it that way....

Op I sense u want to cheat on dat nyc man wit a more "manly"(as u would claim) man or u neva loved him in d first place u married him prolly cos u were bcomin a cargo,did u marry him out of pity?pls pity him by divorcin him so he can find some1 who deserves him y u neva get belle for am sef. pls watch tyler perry's temptation(confession of a marriage counsellor)

Missonas:
Op I cannot say I know how u feel but I have an inkling. Obsession and idolizing are almost thesame. They are not healthy.

You sound the way you do probably because you have not been able to pour your heart out. People have been talking to you but perhaps no one has listened.

You both should talk . Since he would do just about anything for you im sure he will not mind seeing a marriage counsellor with you. Have a round table

Also have you both talked about having babies? Babies are blessings! Your hubby will have to divide all that love and affection some may feel jealous initially tho but you cant help but love them unconditionally and im sure this lover boy will have enough to go round Lol

All these takes time. He did not start all these today so you dont expect him to switch off like a tap.

This should not be a ground for divorce.Its all on you to help him, he needs you to help him be the man you fantasise about

Op.... listen to this lady

We are all getting d lady wrong,she didn't marry him for any reason oda dan love,frm her story I feel d man is sick and needs help ds is more dan love,a man dat follows his wife to women convention, a man who threatens to commit suicide is capable of doing anything to him self or to d woman,d man is having a mental prblm which we all aren't seeing,such a man can wake up one morning and say to himself I love ds woman but I dnt want anyone to look at her and decides to kill her,madam my advice to u first to tk him to see a doctor to evaluate his mental state no normal man wld hear his wife spent all d money in his acc and wld only smile dat us no love,for us dat are married I want love but not a chocking love.try talk to his family dat u need help d earlier d best b4 things gets out of hand.ds is no love ooooo

u are heartless selfish and insensitive.

Egemeole:
see you where other women are praying for such loving husband. you are here talking foolishness. one woman came back late her husband beat her up and put something in her private part and she started bleeding in her private part is that what you want?

Shut it. I'm tired of reading silly comments like this "when others r praying for your type of husband bal bla bla" would you like to marry a woman that fflws you about like a dog, cannot think for herself and looks up to you to make every decision, does not give you personal space. Would you It's like you are in a bondage/prison.
Yes, we want caring spouses but you can do that without encroaching on your spouse's personal space.

nkyblast:
We are all getting d lady wrong,she didn't marry him for any reason oda dan love,frm her story I feel d man is sick and needs help ds is more dan love,a man dat follows his wife to women convention, a man who threatens to commit suicide is capable of doing anything to him self or to d woman,d man is having a mental prblm which we all aren't seeing,such a man can wake up one morning and say to himself I love ds woman but I dnt want anyone to look at her and decides to kill her,madam my advice to u first to tk him to see a doctor to evaluate his mental state no normal man wld hear his wife spent all d money in his acc and wld only smile dat us no love,for us dat are married I want love but not a chocking love.try talk to his family dat u need help d earlier d best b4 things gets out of hand.ds is no love ooooo

My point exactly. I dated a guy like that and when I made up my mind to break up with him,my brother advised me to do it in an open place cos the guy could kill me and commit sucide since he can't have me no one else will and so we can die together.

Any Naija who chose to think this type of story is not "OTUMAKPO* / " JUJU VEGETABLE ", love potion, related, is a mumu till eternity.

You never ready to talk true.

For ladies who engages in this practise take note.. for every jazz/OTUMAKPO done to " control " a man have expiry date and when the veil clears off his eyes......Run!!! The same man will use cutlass to divide you anatomically.

uzolexis:


OP I totally understand how you feel? I have been in that type of blood suckling relationship, the guy was crazy about me,told all my friends to stop calling me Uzo n call me her eminence,called me 100 times a day. It's tiring I tell you,everyone needs some me time. When I made up my mind to break up with him,my brother was scared for me, he said the boy could kill me and then commit sucide so both of us would die together and advised me to do it in an open place. Yes,it was that bad.
It was easier for me to walk away cos it was a bf/gf thing but marriage is not as easy to walk away from, talk to him about it and if he doesn't change,you guys should see a marriage counsellor.
Wish you a blissful marriage.

U have a point. Her husband is in love but more obsessed. And I believe any one that can threaten suicide can actually kill someone else.
I hope her husband doesnt mean those words.
As it is they are married, and divorce or not the 1st or 2nd option.
Pray and watch, as there is no bodily harm. IMO she shouldnt bring in kids into this strange situation.
Hopefully this will pass

coolsix:
What a good woman the op is. If it's some women they would take advantage of the man and turn him to something else.

Anyway Op, you need to express your feelings towards him concerning his attitude.

if is those women wey full for NL romance section the man will be licking her ass every morning i swear

optimusprime2:

I carefully read your whole writeup, hence my whole quote... Firstly (Pardon me for being Blunt) I think you are quite a Naive, selfish and shallow woman who is insensitive to a man as delicate natured as your husband- for a start, I believe you are a christian, go and read the book of Proverbs chapter 31 vs 10-31 it should give you insight of the role of a good wife.
Many women pray for the kind of man you have as a husband, and here you are complaining about what you have... A wife is a friend, a partner, a buddie et al, apparently you have'nt carved out that Niche for your husband, because you have already viewed and tagged him as a weakling.
Secondly You lack the caring instinct of a mother; if you did, you would have known how to adjust your husband to fit your specs, with Love. Cant you see he is as a child to you? I wonder how you would care for kids with special needs with an attitude of insensitivity like this...
Thirdly, you are inconsiderate; Because you know that's how he is and yet you choose to exploit his shortcomings/weaknesses, then complain in the end- You should be ashamed of yourself.
Fourthly, You are the solitary lady- basically you love doing your thingys alone. It's unfortunate you married a man who values company and companionship, now in marriage, the definition of you is "Selfish" because all you lookout for is "You" ... sorry girl thats the picture I see.
Fifth, Your perspective of marriage is so shallow... And I have a deep pity for you because you still think marriage is post courtship, an indirect reflection of your psychological immaturity (Geez I'm really sorry for the bluntness but I just cant help it)
Sixth, You are just not romantic period.... (A wife beater would have suited you just fine)
If you think people will come and sympathize with you here on Nairaland for your woes and complaints on this matter, you are wrong, very wrong .... Go and analyse your shortcomings woman and fix up your marriage.
Overall I feel bad for your husband- it's really not his fault. He married a girl not a woman. (Sorry girl just being blunt)

You are 100% on point. OP is a very selfish, childish girl that deserves no love at all. She would have better married a wife beater, a drunkard and no caring and unromantic man. I pity the young man who devotes his time loving and caring for an ingratitude and ungrateful small girl like OP.

4C2215131:
Got a potential love crime brewing. If you must leave do it with finesse. Ever heard of crimes of passion-even murder.

This is exactly my fear.

It's just good that you didn't antagonize him before marriage.

My first time love, I was like that to one damsel i once met, who did one comely/homely thing that captured my whole heart just a moment she came to my office, and i fell flat for her for life. I made up my mind to follow the real biblical love and romance stories i used to read in school years back in my secondary school to her just to appreciate the fact that such comely woman still existed in the world , but she got it all wrong and gave me the worse resentment of her life and still kept me in a relationship for 5 yrs but refuse to marry me neither let me go away. Fewer times she will breakup the relationship formerly and next moment would come back and i will still welcome her back.

All these happen because i have already cultured my mind for true love towards her as a sort of compensation for her comeliness act of that day, but she caused me so much pains that i had to learn to be an asshole which i eventually became and enjoyed the power of it, but God rewarded me with a woman of my kindness towards me as i was towards her but then i had already became an asshole which i fought with everything in me to change from on a daily basis. On several occasion i promised myself to retaliate all my hurts on her if i eventually married her, since she taught me the bad guy. She was also rewarded with asshole men after i finally got married to another angel that God brought my way, such that i got to hear her plight and felt pity for her to the extent that i had to call her to attention & gave her a very sincere but lengthy advice that really helped her, and finally got her to marry after 3yrs of my own marriage. That moment of advice almost got me in trouble with my present love if not that she understood and love me so much despite my imperfection that was caused by another woman.

What am i trying to pass across , don't spoil him for another good woman, i was able to change, he may not be able to, though i still fight had at it because truly i'm still not that same man that i use to be, though i usually fight back my imperfection immediately as soon as i become sane of my fault. I can't look at women again with that agape innocent love that initially strucked my heart for her. I am now a bad guy, very hard a man-the type you are dreaming off, just trying consciously to be good and considerate to a woman, once i lose that consciousness i become terrible. If i were the one that you came back that late that night, mehn, before sanity could enter my head to pardon you, i would have pump you so much shit that would have really mare you to file for a divorce in your heart,the kind of divorce that you wouldn't dare open your mouth to voice not even to think loud than to bury in your stomach and swallow with sobs. So don't pray for such.

drnoel:


shame on u for encouraging something wrong. A man Shows enough care around his woman, follows her around and is extra careful of her and u call him weak, u call him not manly, obsessed. If u were a woman am sure u would have called him gay. If i swear for u now am sure u will say I am wicked, infact I will swear for u. May women write about u and call u the same thing u called that poor innocent man,...please say Amen.
The poor man is in love. Am sure you don´t know what that means. As it is that his Kind of love is suffocating his wife. Men should know no matter how much u love ur woman u should also give her space to do her own thing, that way she appreciates you better.

This is not love this is obsession and it's very unhealthy not to mention dangerous as well.

They need to see a marriage counsellor and he needs professional help.

Well, enough advice but a big phoolish woman like you would ignore them all. All men were as good as this man until they met bitchees and horrible girls like you and then every girl they met after was used only for sex, punching bags, financial convenience, baby factory while the girl just cried herself to death running from pillar to post! Even almost 40 year old men can still get a 20 year old girlfriend who will be better than you, better sex, more appreciative so you are not special just lucky but only for a time because you must now lose than man since you have no proper sense of value! I know a girl that once had such a good man (no not even as good as this man of yours but still spanked girl when she's out of line) but eventually moved on now the girl is still on dating sites looking for a bf or Facebook taking half nude photos while they boys just keep peeing in her pussie and moving on! Lose than man, quickly perhaps he will meet a better woman who knows how to value him. Women must just love to get hammered all day long with problems to have sense, slap her, punch her, give her 1% of what she asks for (not your entire Atm, essentially pouring your blood out for her) while spending more on a much younger girl with a loose / no strings attached. You shouldn't have used a new ID but your old one, paste the man's photo on NL and where to find him if he will not get another girlfriend within 2 weeks and start bringing cuter babies home while you cry until you pack out and do your worst! This is the kind of guy who should give a finer woman belle outside and bring in the baby and tell you, this is the result of your ohoolishness and you'd have no reason to even complain about it as it would be your fault!! Stoopid married girl!

meemeetruth:
Op I sense u want to cheat on dat nyc man wit a more "manly"(as u would claim) man or u neva loved him in d first place u married him prolly cos u were bcomin a cargo,did u marry him out of pity?pls pity him by divorcin him so he can find some1 who deserves him y u neva get belle for am sef. pls watch tyler perry's temptation(confession of a marriage counsellor)

I jus heard u say"called u to order"u must av been doin somtin wrong to b called to order n I ask again wot kind of a woman r u that wount knw wen ur husband is broke or not since u claim he worships u madam afrodite u must as well knw hw much he earns and hw he spends mostly on ur xpenses ders sumtin ur nt tellin us o op I feel so sorry for that innocent man and again if the sister accuses u it means her broda was neva lyk that wit women,as long as he's nt 23 u cn tell he's was neva intimate wit anygirl but u buh if u say he neva had a crush or mayb dated a girl in d past u lie ders somtin ur nt sayin ders no smoke witout fire o,buh sha wen breeze blow fowl nyash go open and u need yaba left to even think that he's mentally sick n lstlyGod pls bless that carin man with a real woman who wount stay wit him out of pity buh love genuine love,give him lovely kids make him prosperous pls Baba giv him good tins of lyf cos he will find his real good wife once dis op leaves him,give him d hrt to b strong and nt rememba dis op God bless him wit a woman who will help him build n nt scatter someone that will control her spendin so that they can save togeda n establish togeda Thank u Father cos u'v ansad tru Christ ur son. Amen