oi seriously dude u need to shut the hell up
if u cant speak english for the love of all things sacred shut ur pie hole and speak the language ur comfy with!

this one na english you de speak so? no be my papa language and if my white big yansh girls no mind my english, who are you?. ubanka

ubana?

t'ana gida

bluespice:

ubana?

t'ana gida

I know. No mind am, yeye

lol

fukc his parents.

nigerian are and always have been backward.

shut the f'ck up urself!

As long as your blood is red,it dont matter where you're from.

My best friend's mum is African American,her dad is Nigerian-Igbo. When they first got married everyone would bring him nigerian girls saying that his american wife will run away from him, take his money and just mistreat him. But they are still together(25 yrs later) and the women of the village envy her.

Love conquers all!

thanks for ur story jare

guys you know what yeah, I was very suprise to hear and even see with eye that a friend of mine just got married to white girl, to be honest I was suprise you know now how we nigerians are we tend to go for our own females anyway what suprise is that despite how discipline and very tough the parent are they allow him to marry the white gilr now they"re living happily and my best frined his happy that he made the best decision.

The wife is due to give birth to a bouncy baby what am trying to say is good to follow your heart your happiness is vital all our parent can do is to support us. Bless you

white girls are on board now. who still want black yansh?

Spirit of Wine, the last thing I am is Aktha. I have read your posts and even though you seem to be giving advice i sense the bitterness in your response. That word shows the pure form of ignorance. I could bash you, but its mos def is not my style. I'm peaceful and loving. A free spirit. I know that when she meets me and get to know me, she will become a fan like everyone else I have touched. My personality is magnetic. See I'm only trying to shed light and in return gain some insight. Now I needed opinions of his people to see what I was getting myself into. And yet again, i will state this, I know he is mine. I know that we will be together whether his mum approves or not. I have been the only woman that has lasted longer than 2 weeks. We've been together for 10 months and he has told his friends if there was not an age gap I would be his wife already. See the thing is his dad's first wife was his high school teacher. So I'm sure that will open a few wounds his mum has. Furthermore, he never leaves my side and i keep him intrigued. We talk and laugh, we kiss and cuddle. I lay in his arms throughout the night and if I move away he drags me back. We share our most intimate thoughts and i have his back through the  pits of hell. Again, he's mine. I am only trying to be respectful of her. Cause see that's what I was taught, even thought you may call me Aktha. My folks and my environment was very much like his growing up as a child. I am from Louisiana and I had 3 generations of my family in my life and a big family it was both sides maternal and paternal. Did i mention that we had a lot in common. Another reason we are so tight. I have no issues with his cousins and brothers. He has already told his mum about me and they debate about the age, but he's very respectful even though he stands his ground. I just don't need nor want anyones feelings to be damaged. I want to get along with her and respect her as my own mother. Because of my love for him. I don't want any additional stress for him, the world places enough on our backs.

Ibukun O:

Spirit of Wine, the last thing I am is Aktha. I have read your posts and even though you seem to be giving advice i sense the bitterness in your response. That word shows the pure form of ignorance. I could bash you with, but its mos def is not my style. You will make your own judgments on the slave trade? How could you? Have you studied? Do you know where it began and how? By whom? And why? And as a result the continent has gone into starvation and poverty? How about this are you a Christian? A religion left to you by my slave masters? See I'm only trying to shed light and in return gain some insight. Now I needed opinions of his people to see what I was getting myself into. And yet again, i will state this, I know he is mine. I know that we will be together whether his mum approves or not. I have been the only woman that has lasted longer than 2 weeks. We've been together for 10 months. He never leaves my side and i keep him intrigued. We talk and laugh, we kiss and cuddle. I lay in his arms throughout the night and if I move away he drags me back. We share our most intimate thoughts and i have his back through the pits of hell. Again, he's mine. I am only trying to be respectful of her. Cause see that's what I was taught, even thought you may call me Aktha. My folks and my environment was very much like his growing up as a child. I am from Louisiana and I had 3 generations of my family in my life and a big family it was both sides maternal and paternal. Did i mention that we had a lot in common. Another reason we are so tight. I have no issues with his cousins and brothers. He has already told his mum about me and they debate about the age, but he's very respectful even though he stands his ground. I just don't need nor want anyones feelings to be damaged. I want to get along with her and respect her as my own mother. Because of my love for him. I don't want any additional stress for him, the world places enough on our backs.

I was going to spit fiyah to calm you down, but I'm going to hold off on that.
I see that Akata word has pissed you off. It's just our way of calling you an African American so don't let it get to you.
Again, don't lecture me on the slave trade and what it's done to your people. You are trying to shove your opinions down my throat and I disagree with you.

From your love wan tin tin you sound very possessive and a bit controlling. If you lose this man it might be by your own doing.

Ibukun O:

Spirit of Wine, the last thing I am is Aktha. I have read your posts and even though you seem to be giving advice i sense the bitterness in your response. That word shows the pure form of ignorance. I could bash you, but its mos def is not my style. I'm peaceful and loving. A free spirit. I know that when she meets me and get to know me, she will become a fan like everyone else I have touched. My personality is magnetic. See I'm only trying to shed light and in return gain some insight. Now I needed opinions of his people to see what I was getting myself into. And yet again, i will state this, I know he is mine. I know that we will be together whether his mum approves or not. I have been the only woman that has lasted longer than 2 weeks. We've been together for 10 months and he has told his friends if there was not an age gap I would be his wife already. See the thing is his dad's first wife was his high school teacher. So I'm sure that will open a few wounds his mum has. Furthermore, he never leaves my side and i keep him intrigued. We talk and laugh, we kiss and cuddle. I lay in his arms throughout the night and if I move away he drags me back. We share our most intimate thoughts and i have his back through the pits of hell. Again, he's mine. I am only trying to be respectful of her. Cause see that's what I was taught, even thought you may call me Aktha. My folks and my environment was very much like his growing up as a child. I am from Louisiana and I had 3 generations of my family in my life and a big family it was both sides maternal and paternal. Did i mention that we had a lot in common. Another reason we are so tight. I have no issues with his cousins and brothers. He has already told his mum about me and they debate about the age, but he's very respectful even though he stands his ground. I just don't need nor want anyones feelings to be damaged. I want to get along with her and respect her as my own mother. Because of my love for him. I don't want any additional stress for him, the world places enough on our backs.

In all that,I read that you are an older woman trying to mesmerize a younger man and smothering him to death.
The fact that you're an American could be an issue but being an older woman perhaps with kids is an even bigger issue
No woman wants her first son married to a woman her age who's been around the block with excess baggage.
Please leave the young man alone.
You sound a tad too posessive
I hope this young man wakes up fast and waves you a fast goodbye.
I pray to God my  son never finds himself in that situation.

as you can see i removed that segment. it was not necessary. and yes, it did piss me off. I'm not controlling. i was elaborating on statements made previously and i wanted to address them all in short. if i was a control freak. the relationship would be a done deal. I am here for understanding of a culture and I had held previous in high esteem. now I'm not so sure. let me explain. all my days here in the states, this country has taught the African American to despise the African. the stereotypes, of American TV, the man eating jungle people. the worst of the worst. and my rebellion and my independence in my thoughts as made me even as a child to gravitate towards Africa my original homeland. now for their to be racism for African toward black Americans continues the cycle, yet and still our black American culture has infiltrated your land in our music, movies and stars. yet, i am despised. its very confusing. we are the same just separated my water. so don't spit fire. i chose not to. its not worth it. we need communication to bridge the gap.

so i guess i have to add bullet point. some people are taking this way to personal.
1. i said his dad married a high school teacher.
2. I'm nit his high school teacher.
3. i never mentioned anything about kids.
4. the only thing i asked for was elaboration on the issue that personal feelings.
5. he's a man, and I'm not the possessive one.
6. don't make judgments without the facts.
7. this is becoming a disappointment.
8. i was seeking knowledge, not personal hang ups, from females whom don't want Nigerian men with American females.

SMH Ibukun . The relationship might as well be a done deal since you have concluded he is yours no matter what. Can he not make that life altering decision like a real man should? I mean step way from the keyboard and think about what you said. You have only dated for 10 months. Do you think that grants you a right to a ring? Even five-year long relationships dissolve easily when push comes to shove.

all my days here in the states, this country has taught the African American to despise the African.

The country tries to teach people a lot of sheet.  The country also gives you a very good opportunity to educate yourself.  Your education has allowed you to make better informed decisions, I think.

the stereotypes, of American TV, the man eating jungle people. the worst of the worst. and my rebellion and my independence in my thoughts as made me even as a child to gravitate towards Africa my original homeland.

Similarly, the stereotypes of American TV about the black gangster rapper who demeans women, the brainless twats who sell crack to kids, and the lazy dolts who think their only way out of the ghetto is by dribbling a ball has not caused me to alienate my African American brothers and sisters.

now for their to be racism for African toward black Americans continues the cycle,

Black on black criminality is nothing new, sweetie.  Not even in your beloved America among your own people.

yet and still our black American culture has infiltrated your land in our music, movies and stars.

Infiltration, sure.  Anything with that muchh exposure has the potential to infiltrate.  But has it impacted us positively.  Have your music and movie stars been positive role models to the young generation?  You can argue yes and no.  Your choice.

yet, i am despised. its very confusing. we are the same just separated my water. so don't spit fire. i chose not to. its not worth it. we need communication to bridge the gap.

We need understanding and patience as well. 

C2H5OH:

The country tries to teach people a lot of sheet.  The country also gives you a very good opportunity to educate yourself.  Your education has allowed you to make better informed decisions, I think.
Similarly, the stereotypes of American TV about the black gangster rapper who demeans women, the brainless twats who sell crack to kids, and the lazy dolts who think their only way out of the ghetto is by dribbling a ball has not caused me to alienate my African American brothers and sisters.
Black on black criminality is nothing new, sweetie.  Not even in your beloved America among your own people.
InfInfiltrationure.  Anything with that muchmuchosure has the potential to infiltrate.  But has it impacted us positively.  Have your music and movie stars been positive role models to the young generation?  You can argue yes and no.  Your choice.We need understanding and patience as well. 

That's exactly what I mean. When does all the madness stop. Again, American TV has brainwashed us both on both sides. You have your ideas of who we are from tv and its not our true essence. Dont get get me wrong we do have those types that allow tv to determine who they become and vice versa. Im not in love with Amerikka. I overstand the negative and impact this culture has on the world-American or White American Culture. My exact reasons for screaming out DONT JUDGE ME, Im American. I took responsibility of self and I am rebuilding. The choice and the wording i am using is to clarify I have no doubt in the strength of my relationship. I am not holding him. I am willing to let go. We are holding on to each other. My choice of wording is to describe the bond, not to control. Again, I am a very patient and giving person. Im not here to start any arguments only to gain understanding. I'm searching for knowledge of something I am ignorant about. I dont make judgments nor feed into stereotypes. I come to the source. As I stated the world needs communication be a safer, healthier place to live a world of tolerance and understanding.

they will just try to advise you against marrying him because they are so miserable in their own country that they will try to put your heritage down. pay them no mind!

i give you the BEST advice when i tell you to not seek advice from these people!!!

they don't even know what's good for their country so how can they advise you?

they back stab their own families
they lie
cheat
are hypocritical to the nth degree
and are most of all
BITTER.


trust me i would know. i know how nigerians work more than you.

listen to them at your peril.

sillyme:

they will just try to advise you against marrying him because they are so miserable in their own country that they will try to put your heritage down. pay them no mind!

i give you the BEST advice when i tell you to not seek advice from these people!!!

they don't even know what's good for their country so how can they advise you?

they back stab their own families
they lie
cheat
are hypocritical to the nth degree
and are most of all
BITTER.


trust me i would know. i know how nigerians work more than you.

listen to them at your peril.

[color=#770077][/color] I KNEW COMING IN THAT I WOULD FACE OPPOSITION. I JUST WANT TO GATHER A VARIETY OF IDEAS AND HAVE A SOUNDING BOARD TO MAKE AN INFORMED DECISION. I DONT WANT TO LIVE IN MISERY AND HIM EITHER. ALL I WANT TO DO IS MAKE HIM HAPPY AND LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY BEING. BY GAINING AND UNDERSTANDING I WOULD HOPE TO DEFEAT SOME OF ALL THE DRAW BACKS OF THE CULTURE CLASH. I REALLY APPRECIATE THE SUPPORT AS WELL AS THE DESENT. ITS THE REAL WORLD, NOTHINGS EVER 100% POSITIVE. I JUST WANT A CHANCE. ITS A BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP FROM BOTH OUR PERSPECTIVES. THANK YOU ALL, IBUKUN THE AMERIKKKAN

your bf is only trying to smartly ease you out of the way . . . if he was determined to marry you he will . . . regardless of what family says.
My igbo uncle persevered 4 yrs before he could be allowed to marry his yoruba wife. they are doing excellent today.

Sis hit me up on Yahoo messenger in about 2 hours I will be home from work by then.

I DISGREE.  IVE TRIED TO REMOVE MYSELF FROM THE RELATIONSHIP. HE'S STILL HERE.  I UNDERSTAND THE NEED FOR HIS MON'S APPROVAL. I KNOW HIM. HE NEEDS HER APPROVAL AND UNDERSTANDING.  HE'S VERY PROUD OF HIS MUM. AND HE LOVES HER WITH HIS WHOLE BEING.  HIS FAMILY BOND IN SICKLY STRONG.  AND WHAT I MEAN BY THAT IS HIS BROTHER AND COUSINS BECOME JEALOUS WHEN HE SPENDS DAYS WITH ME.  HE HAS TO CALL AND CHECK IN. THEY HAVE TO CALL AND CHECK IN. HE HAS NEVER SPENT TIME WITH A FEMALE LIKE HE DOES WITH ME. ITS NEW TO THEM ALL, SO WHEN HE DOES NOT SHOW HIS FACE FOR DAYS AT A TIME THEY SPAZE OUT. NOW I CAN SPEND DAYS AT HIS HOME AND THEY ARE FINE.  WE JUST RATHER HAVE MORE PRIVACY, FOR MY SAKE THE JOURNEY TO THE BATHROOM FOR A SHOWER AND FOUR MEN IN THE HOUSE IS A CHALLENGE FOR ME.  WE HAVE TO CONSTANTLY LOCK THE DOOR. SO NOW WE SPEND QT AT MY PLACE MAJORITY OF THE TIME.  IF HE WANTED TO BE RID OF ME HE HAS HAD HIS CHANCE AND THE DOOR IS STILL OPEN. LIFE GOES ON, TRUST ME, I WILL HAVE NO ISSUES WITH FINDING A MATE. I'M FLY LIKE THAT.  HE KNOWS THAT TOO, THATS WHY HE'S STILL HERE.

I personally don't see a problem, because I was in a similar situation and I know how opposition can become the plague in your relationship with him. You have to be ready for the ugly that will come. If you feel it in your heart that it is right or wrong, it probably is. Don't worry about what we think. It's you and him against the world. I was coming from the realistic side of it, not wanting to hurt your feelings.

Ibukun O:

I DISGREE. IVE TRIED TO REMOVE MYSELF FROM THE RELATIONSHIP. HE'S STILL HERE. I UNDERSTAND THE NEED FOR HIS MON'S APPROVAL. I KNOW HIM. HE NEEDS HER APPROVAL AND UNDERSTANDING. HE'S VERY PROUD OF HIS MUM. AND HE LOVES HER WITH HIS WHOLE BEING. HIS FAMILY BOND IN SICKLY STRONG. AND WHAT I MEAN BY THAT IS HIS BROTHER AND COUSINS BECOME JEALOUS WHEN HE SPENDS DAYS WITH ME. HE HAS TO CALL AND CHECK IN. THEY HAVE TO CALL AND CHECK IN. HE HAS NEVER SPENT TIME WITH A FEMALE LIKE HE DOES WITH ME. ITS NEW TO THEM ALL, SO WHEN HE DOES NOT SHOW HIS FACE FOR DAYS AT A TIME THEY SPAZE OUT. NOW I CAN SPEND DAYS AT HIS HOME AND THEY ARE FINE. WE JUST RATHER HAVE MORE PRIVACY, FOR MY SAKE THE JOURNEY TO THE BATHROOM FOR A SHOWER AND FOUR MEN IN THE HOUSE IS A CHALLENGE FOR ME. WE HAVE TO CONSTANTLY LOCK THE DOOR. SO NOW WE SPEND QT AT MY PLACE MAJORITY OF THE TIME. IF HE WANTED TO BE RID OF ME HE HAS HAD HIS CHANCE AND THE DOOR IS STILL OPEN. LIFE GOES ON, TRUST ME, I WILL HAVE NO ISSUES WITH FINDING A MATE. I'M FLY LIKE THAT. HE KNOWS THAT TOO, THATS WHY HE'S STILL HERE.

It comes with the territory. If you are willing to deal and you feel it's real. Go for it. Just know that the road will NOT be easy dear.

I don't see a problem ma'am? Could it be that you are jealous of his mother? You want this man to yourself but his mother his attachment to his mother is pissing you off? What happens after marriage? Are you going to ban him from even visiting her?
Plenty men with strong ties to their moms. It's not a new thing.
Parents are important figures in Nigerian culture. Having parental approval gives a lot of us a much needed peace of mind.

I totally understand and respect the honesty. All interactions positive and negative. He's most certainly worth it. an whatever HEARTACHE in between. "' At least I knew him at all" I dont plan for it to be easy, nothing worth having usually isn't. I dont expect respect that I dont deserve, Earn, I am willing for something as Great as he.

Negative, I love my mama too and my grandma, my aunts, cousins, 2nd cousins, 3rd cousins. All you have said is why and all i have asked was why? needing an analysis from a survey of people of what the mentality i would be facing. i knew that aktha would be mentioned eventually. I inquired the meaning from several different countries throughout the continent, none of them flattering. I stated I wanted to love her as my own. The black mother is the Matriarch no matter culture. Sometimes they are single mothers. "My opinion she's God, meaning the female. who create life." I also call her mother nature. It was a topic/difficulty. mothers are protective of their sons cross culturally. I have a mother and a brother. Black mothers and their sons, Wow! Persian Mothers and her sons. WOW WOW! So the love and respect he has for his mother I admire. She's a person that created and raised the son i love being a single mother of three. I have madd respect for her. He is the SHIT! Dont get it twisted. You made this your forum to eventually spit venom. Dont. Be . Negative.

All I'm saying is, the stuffs you mentioned above about him having strong family ties or loving his mother is normal.

The problem is that he hasn't told you the real reason why he doesn't want to marry you. Yoruba culture is not going to humiliate you for getting married to a Yoruba man. Ask your boyfriend what's up.

Ibukun O:

So the love and respect he has for his mother I admire. She's a person that created and raised the son i love being a single mother of three. I have madd respect for her. He is the SHIT! Dont get it twisted. You made this your forum to eventually spit venom. Dont. Be . Negative.

Did you just say you are a single mother of three?


If true, sorry to say that really doesn't help matters at all.  Sadly, you may have just ruined your chances completely. 
Your kids are your pride and joy but but but but but 

I can't comment on the rest of your rant cos I couldn't understand the message you wanted to convey.

All these excuses of Yoruba and African American marriage is not working for me at all
if he is serious about you and he loves you as much as u claim here, he will marry you come what may
even in Nigeria with the different tribes issue some couple still stick to their gun (my cousin is an example of such, what did the groom's parents not do to her, today they are happily married with 2 lovely children and these so called people that gave her a tough time are the ones doing ''our wife, our wife )
their parents may alienate them for a while but will succumb overtime especially when the success of the marriage is evident to all
let me say it again if this man truly loves you, as you claim he will marry you
by the way did he grow up in the states or move from Nigeria as an adult or teenager
the age thing is tricky but it depends on the answer given to the question above
are u older than him by more than five years? how comfortable is he about the difference in age thing?

Another tales by the moonlight.