amosade30:
u not cwios, au's ya dog doin nw?

Lol. He's fine thank you.

jamela:


Now this point is just funny, the above was possible during the time of Mary Selessor. If you leave a 21st century British woman in your village, she would return to Britain as fast as she came and file a law suit to divorce you in seconds.

Btw, your point was well taught out, your example just caught my attention

hahahaha trust me; love exists. dont judge by the people in your environment. a British woman in love will stay; and fetch water from the stream with a pot on her head, pluck mangoes, roast yam and snails and even scrap the last rice from the pot. and if she ever returns to Britain, she will be seen as a bush woman despite been white. environment dictates our activities more than we give credit to.

blakky97:
by your statement "dont wait for so long" you mean what exactly? what does a woman really do to get married? toast? or agree to her toasters whether or not they intend to settle down? 90% men out there just want to get down with you if they're not wealthy enough to head a family. and then the wealthy and successful ones have been taken. so?

There are people who focus so much on career or set unrealist targets for a man they'll like to marry,yet they know that they will not be fulfilled without getting married. If one doesn't want to marry or care less about marriage that's another issue altogether. You are not a lady and may not know that there is a time in a girl's life that she get a lot of marriage proposals and that is usually a good time to choose.

smileysmiles:

Lol. He's fine thank you.

I'm sure u enyn ya 9t or is he wt ?

Dexema:

marriage does cure loneliness if its to the right person, even the holy book says " it is not good for a man to be alone "a man feeling lonely in his comfort zone is a sign he longs for companionship and a family.

I think i have responded to someone who also made reference to the Bible.. The school will teach you the theory but life teaches you the practical.. If you are lonely and want to marry then look for a lonely woman and marry so both of you can pursue same goal of getting out of loneliness but if you think getting a partner will take you out of loneliness then you are on a long thing... Marriage has it`s own troubles big enough that will compound your loneliness and take it to 360 degree.

And what is the right person? So you want to marry a happy girl and bring in your garbage inherited from loneliness to her life so she begins to pamper you like a child? If you are lonely fix it, find the root cause of it.. I think the OP is bored living alone don`t get it twisted.. If you are lonely get out and make friends, get social and enjoy singleness.

deeptesting:


*Smiles** It is in your head not all ladies are after riches or wealth.. The fact depends on where you are beaming your search light, you see the irony of it is if you meet an independent woman or one who does not place value on riches you may call her a Feminist.. Those who place values on riches are low lifers and not women of virtue..

Be bold to approach independent girls.

obviously sir, you are a wise man. the decision has been a tough one for me. I do not crave entirely independent women because I fear my position as the head and General Officers Commanding in my home will be jeopardised. and yet do I run from demanding ladies who I feel will never appreciate the concept of sacrifice and struggle and may feel they are entitled to kindly gestures just by virtue of been women.

Bloggz74:


My dear let's all get married and quit consolling ourselves with those phrases that makes all live movies. Let's face reality!

Lol


For someone like me I have no reason to console myself at least not yet. Even though the importance of marriage can never be overemphasized but it isn't all there is about life.

blakky97:
obviously sir, you are a wise man. the decision has been a tough one for me. I do not crave entirely independent women because I fear my position as the head and General Officers Commanding in my home will be jeopardised. and yet do I run from demanding ladies who I feel will never appreciate the concept of sacrifice and struggle and may feel they are entitled to kindly gestures just by virtue of been women.

Lol... Bro you can`t eat your cake and have it or sit on the fence on this issue... A decision must be made either way.. I wish you the best.

All the people saying no rush, etc are just deceiving themselves. In fact even if truly there is no rush, you should do the right things at the right time or you will end up being left behind. Everyone wants to be happy. And marrying the right person brings happiness especially if it is in the context of a happy home. Some guys or ladies when they should have married were busy forming bachelor and spinster and living a free spirit life. Now when it's time to marry it becomes more difficult. It is oyinbo pple that live Me, myself and I life and can decide not to ever get married. A Nigerian is not Oyinbo. We have a very social culture.

IT IS WELL IJN

Amhappy:


There are people who focus so much on career or set unrealist targets for a man they'll like to marry,yet they know that they will not be fulfilled without getting married. If one doesn't want to marry or care less about marriage that's another issue altogether. You are not a lady and may not know that there is a time in a girl's life that she get a lot of marriage proposals and that is usually a good time to choose.

wise words. does it mean all single and searching ladies in their late 30s are responsible for their predicament? a lady may have dated 3 guys beginning from when she was 21. first guy for 5 years, he disappointed, second for 8 years. he cheated. and third for 4 years, he boasts, insults, and lacks manners generally. she does not love him. where lies her fault?

blakky97:

the truth remains that there's an age where singlehood becomes an embarrassment. I mean picture a 40year old man still rolling with chicks when his mates have 15 years old daughters. it argues for irresponsibility on his part.

I won't call it irresponsibility,I'll say some just want gain stability first before venturing into the institution called marriage, its a greater embarrassment when you get married early and you're unable to provide adequately for your family financially and otherwise.

lawanson44:
OP, Marriage is over-rated! Your state of single-hood looks so deplorable for you right now. When you eventually get married, the excitement will wear off after about 6 months with the next expectation being having children. When the children finally comes, the pressure to provide for your family becomes more prominent and will weigh you down.

This will adversely affect your relationship with your spouse and you will now experience what is called "marital shock". When this happens, you will begin to look back at your years of bachelorhood with relish and nostalgia.

Trust me. Many married men will be envying you in their hearts.

you are absolutely correct.it doesn't take much thought to realize marriage is bullshit especially for men

elantraceey:



I won't call it irresponsibility,I'll say some just want gain stability first before venturing into the institution called marriage, its a greater embarrassment when you get married early and you're unable to provide adequately for your family financially and otherwise.

we cannot avoid the fact that life takes us through the chequered board of time in this world. some early starters had rough beginning and balanced out later. some people who actually love kids and wish to have their own, but are waiting till theyve acquired "enough" only end up wishing they had defined the concept of "enough" earlier. a man could get married at 42 after labouring 15 years to be balanced. then he builds a supermarket, few months after marriage, it gets gutted by fire, will he now divorce?

deeptesting:


Nothing i drink oo my Brother... Have been married for 8 years and got separated, separation has given me so much room for a deep reflection and retrospect... When i see people going into the contract of marriage for the wrong reasons i feel very bad... I have two kids out of my marriage, Bro it is better to remain single and receive all the insults in the world than going into a marriage for the wrong reason.. Nothing is killing me so fast today than seeing my beautiful kids growing without both parents living under the same roof. The fact that i will wake up every morning and no longer getting them ready for school, driving them to school, pick them up when i have time, do their home work together breaks me down but i am happy being alone, it could have been worse.

The OP needs to take a chill Pepsi big bottle and truly figure out what he really wants out of marriage and most importantly find a woman who shares the same life value with him...

How come man, it seems like you got the wrong end of the stick.

DonUjay:
Have you Bleeped Kim K yet? what about Halle Berry and Nicki Minaj? if your answer is NO then why on earth are you thinking of marriage? Why should a Footlose Bachelor Like you be craving marriage, while Married men are out there wishing they could go back to Bachelorhood.
Look on the Bright side! You have all the freedom in the world to sample all the sweet Girls the world has to offer

Bros I fear ur advice ooooo. To sample all d sweet girls? Abeg na infections person dey play with. my guy @op shine ur eyes!! Nothing do u joooor free urself from those funny depressions.

Miggs:
you are absolutely correct.it doesn't take much thought to realize marriage is bullshit especially for men

i laughed so hard at the bold part... Bro.. don`t get it twisted marriage is beautiful, having a companion to share with is awesome but as you already know life has become so complicated, selfishness, egotism, modernization and greed is messing relationships up.

Go in with the mindset to be a blessing to your partner and less expectation from her things will surely be fine but do you have what it takes to be a blessing to someone else without expecting a reciprocation? Happy marriages are built on selflessness.

OP: must be poor and broke because there are so many single, desperate women out there.

Go to church and find one.

Why not go to the church where of the testimony of the 50 year old....

Try the church...

Amhappy:
Good luck bro. For those who desire to get married,pray to God for a suitable partner and hold on to the right person when he/she comes along. The truth remains that at as age increases,it is more tough for ladies,so don't wait for so long. The pressure you will put on yourself alone is huge not to talk of the one from ur family and friends. A friend of mine just got duped in the name of love. A beautiful lady that many men were dying for some years back. She was a good preacher against desperation and I still couldn't believe it caught her.

madam could you please shed more light on the dupe part.....i dont clearly get your story. as for your friend are you jealous that your friend is about to taste and experience marriage people often regard as a sweet thing with right partner? there is gawd ooo!.




@everyone, what qualifies one to be the RIGHT PARTNER? because as far as i am concerned there is no marriage on earth that does not have issues which might range commonest such as cleaning table after eating, closing the door to the more complex ones. perfect happily ever after marriages exist only in fairytales and in movies. throw more light on this.

blakky97:
we cannot avoid the fact that life takes us through the chequered board of time in this world. some early starters had rough beginning and balanced out later. some people who actually love kids and wish to have their own, but are waiting till theyve acquired "enough" only end up wishing they had defined the concept of "enough" earlier. a man could get married at 42 after labouring 15 years to be balanced. then he builds a supermarket, few months after marriage, it gets gutted by fire, will he now divorce?

Lol, Of course he won't but you know that scenario can't just happen like that, who suffers most during the rough beginnings isn't it the children?

[quote author=deeptesting post=41219943.. "Solitude is a gift".[/quote]
SOLITUDE IS TRULY A GIFT.......BUT CAN U SINCERELY SWEAR BY GODTHAT WAT PEOPLE TINK OF U DOES NOT AFFECT U......?
I'VE COME TO REALISE DAT WE CANT TOTALLY DO AWAY WITH PEOPLE....DEY'RE D REASON Y WE ARE STILL LIVING.....ISNT IT HIPOCRISY.....DAT WE TED TO LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE PRAISE US BUT WHEN ITS D OTHER WAY ROUND.....IT TENDS NOT TO BE OUR BUSINESS...

Truckpusher:
On the highlighted I beg to differ .

It would be counterproductive to have kids that will remember you under agony and pains in this wicked world and country of ours where widows are treated with disdain.
It was better he died without leaving kids behind - I guess you've got no idea what it means to grow up without a father in a developing economy like Nigeria where there is nothing left for them if the woman isn't working and no Govt presence to reach out to people that find themselves in that situation.

One should rather die childless than leave behind kids that will pass through hell to survive.

Lol.

Well, this guy spent the last twenty or so years of his life in Europe, where he died.

Even in Nigeria, some of the most hardworking & most successful people I know lost their fathers early in life. Even many public figures like IBB, Chief Gabriel Igbinedion, etc.

Maybe extended family system of yesteryears made it slightly easier in some cases.

Surely, many of those who end in social deprivation, even jail, these days have no parent(s). But that alone is not the cause of 70% of Nigerians living in quasi poverty.

[quote author=Laeroy post=41257705][/quote]

Bro, i don't know how old you are (no pun intended) but at the attainment of a certain age you will surely careless about what people say or think most especially about your PRIORITIES, that is when you begin to live in accordance with your principles and values..

deeptesting:
Marriage does not cure loneliness, if that is the only reason for getting married then take a chill Pepsi big bottle and relax because many are married and still lonely.. Secondly, what people say or think about you at 37 should not be your business, neither should it force you to get married... Bro i simply want you marry because you understand the purpose of the contract called marriage.. "Solitude is a gift".

deeptesting, that's DEEP! Thanks. Hope your health is much better. We miss you at the dog thread

Experience has shown dat its not how far but how well. Marry one ur soul resonates with,dat understand s u and u understand her.

If u hurry and get married cos of wat people are saying ior cos of age, u will be on different frequencies with ur partner and marriage will not be enjoyable rather it will be endured.

Over 80 percent of marriage s are been endured cos it of shame.

While some will c dere soole make early other may find it late but d most important thing is to find it. When u do u will be happy for d rest of ur life.

Ladies especially desperation will lead u to marriage u will leave to endure never rush into it .

tranxo:
deeptesting, that's DEEP! Thanks. Hope your health is much better. We miss you at the dog thread

Thanks.. I am doing very well and in good health now.Thanks!

deeptesting:


Nothing i drink oo my Brother... Have been married for 8 years and got separated, separation has given me so much room for a deep reflection and retrospect... When i see people going into the contract of marriage for the wrong reasons i feel very bad... I have two kids out of my marriage, Bro it is better to remain single and receive all the insults in the world than going into a marriage for the wrong reason.. Nothing is killing me so fast today than seeing my beautiful kids growing without both parents living under the same roof. The fact that i will wake up every morning and no longer getting them ready for school, driving them to school, pick them up when i have time, do their home work together breaks me down but i am happy being alone, it could have been worse.

The OP needs to take a chill Pepsi big bottle and truly figure out what he really wants out of marriage and most importantly find a woman who shares the same life value with him...

Can U Explicitly spell out just 5 wrong reasons people go into marriage?

Op, marry!!! Don't mind the guys saying marriage is overrated. It is not overrated to you. You may have missed your right person at your age, but find someone good enough to marry! And determine in your mind that you want to stay so. Look, at 40- till you die, you will only meet girls interested in your money. No true love for you. Girls like men that also look good and fit, we also like young and sweet looking men, like you would like a girl to be too. Don't think the right girls will want a sagging, old looking, erectile dysfunction, creaky bones, white haired man, hypertensive or diabetic too.

I once had a suitor in his 50's and all I could think of was this man having a heart attack, or not being active enough to run after naughty kids and discipline them. I was thinking, will he even live long enough to see my kids through uni?The way he begged and begged was so pathetic. He spent his whole life chasing money. He has a lot of money, but not the type of girls he knows are good for him. With all his money he is not happy! He has never been married by the way. Look well and marry a good girl! You deserve that after waiting this long! Time waits for no man, we get older every second. There is nothing like desperation when you feel you are ready!!!

In your search, also keep in mind that no one is perfect, especially you. So don't go looking for perfection. Make a list of the core qualities you want, which are realistic. Find the woman and marry her! Stable mental health must be one of them!

Whether we like it or not, each society has certain values.

We Africans take pride in our family values, the oldest and most important institution.

The only insurance policy in a place where you're on your own.

No social safety net.

Many people here talk about marriage being overrated, not important, yada yada yada.

Yet I believe none of you can afford to be so different from your social environment.

How many here can openly admit being gay, being sexually attracted to younger girls/boys, elderly men/women, married men/women or some other unorthodox desires? Risk being labelled a pervert in our conservative, judgemental and hypocritical society?

Yet we know such people exist. In our midst.

We only get to read about them in the papers when they are exposed.

Sagamite:


See a mental health specialist.

You are having mental health issues stemming from feminine-like insecurities and vulnerabilities.

It has nothing to do with marrying late. Marrying late is a thing of joy and a beautiful privilege for a man.

Nearly broke my head in laughter!

Laeroy:

Can U Explicitly spell out just 5 wrong reasons people go into marriage?

Lol!
1. They are of age as defined by the society.
2. Others are married so why should they be an exception.
3. For the guys they don't want to loose their beautiful girlfriends.
4. She is pregnant, cannot abort so we marry.
5. For the girls material reasons, the guy has an apartment, looks good, a good ride then let's marry.

You can help me add yours because the list is inconclusive.