My dear this is a life time journey we are talking about. broken relationship better than broken marriage. If he is not comfortable and got a nasty answer when he talked to her about it then that is it. She is not serious. We have serious ladies out there.

VampireeM:


Everyone has their priorities though am not saying what the lady is doing is good. Most of the time most ladies dont feel the need to buy all those gadgets.. I for example cant get a microwave and co for myself as a single lady unless I need it.. I buy what I need.. Men are different esp the ones that wants to settle down soon.. they start buying those things they will need in the home/marriage. Your friend should talk to her cause to me a lady not buying those things aint a sign she is not ready for marriage.

what gibberish are you typing happily, you agreed that she was doing something wrong yet you are giving excuses for her, you obviously do same. How can a lady not have simple glass wares? Who talked about microwave. ? Serving her fiance and his friend with stainless plate yet acquiring clothes and jewelries is totally wrong. I wont take it.stop justifying nonsense. If you visited your brotherd fiancee n she served u with flat stainless plates how would u feel? Unless thats what you use at home, there's no need justifying her action. She has even refused to change.

jopretty:
If we demand the guy must have some things to show he's man enuf una go call us gold diggers. So because she hasn't started buying those stuffs means she's not ready for marriage? What if she's saving towards then without his knowledge?

Stainless steel plate oh. She can buy shoes, clothes and jewellery but won't buy common ceramic plate in her OWN father's house ? That is messed up.

One of the reasons I like ladies to stay alone before marriage, b'cos when she stays alone she'll know what she need in her own apartment, i've been buying kitchen wares before I left school so when I left my parent's house i've more than enough that even my friends who are getting married came to pack some & am not married but when you get to my house & kitchen you'll ask if am selling them & as at today am still buying & I love fashion a lot. Maybe she didn't know she owns the kitchen let her see reasons then talk about it if she refuse then let the will of God be done. Merry Xmas

Op dnt make me angry dis morning today is christmas! Ur cousin is 100% correct n i support his actions----------hw cn a lady dt ll start a family tmrw nt think of getting important things dt ll make her home beautiful?? Let him call d wedding off, she's d kind dt wuld end up ruining ur cousin afta marriage bt thank God say ur cousin na sharp correct guy. Dnt evn think of encouraging him otherwise.

How does her refusal to buy cutleries portray her as a bad wife or one who isn't ready for marriage?


He is so narrow minded. He reasons on a thin line.

VampireeM:
IMO, he is just looking for an excuse to call it quits and not cause of the household items stuffs but sincerely the lady aint trying @ all.
He should discuss it with her before taking these bold step

"Just looking for excuse to call it quit" as in what? That he can never get married? Or his 3rd leg has disappeared? Plz for what reason? Explain!

wwwkaycom:
I felt the same way, I even asked him to come to my house and pick as many of the kitchen things as he wanted but he refused saying his fiancee must learn how to be responsible, it was at this time he told me he had bought quite a number of kitchen wares, micro wave, cooker etc Well, I love responsible ladies but they can still talk things over

So he will be coming to ur house to pick stuffs forever abi??...oga ur cousin get sense abeg.....for dis kind time eh, any lady who is not willing to support her husband should go to hell

This is serious o

wwwkaycom:
I felt the same way, I even asked him to come to my house and pick as many of the kitchen things as he wanted but he refused saying his fiancee must learn how to be responsible, it was at this time he told me he had bought quite a number of kitchen wares, micro wave, cooker etc Well, I love responsible ladies but they can still talk things over

One thing i can tell you strains marriages in the first year is little things of 'this is how i want my own'. even you would agree this falls under that category. They both need to ignore small things and each pick up on the other's lapses without complaining over something they could jest about.

ogawisdom:
Op he has nt married her yet so can't demand she uses her money to buy stuff for their future kitchen, it is at d lady's discretion. What he can do is to b buying d kitchen stuff himself or give d lady money to buy n bring to his house. It is his responsibility really . Marriage is nt a partnership its abt a provider n a helper, dts y d woman's total submission to d man's leadership/authority is nt negotiable

She is moving into ur house as d man, when she moves in she must then support u. It is good sha to see her making plans towards ur future together, dt shows commitment but at this stage it's at her discretion.

By d way wat kinda of man will allow a woman move into his house with properties, she should nt move in into ur house with things beyond her clothing's, personal effects n d likes but nt gas cooker, microwave etc


U kw her well, do wat u think u shld do

Is she got property she should throw it away bah....am watching u in 3d and laughing.

Wait o....but the guy take style mumu o....so any girl wey him go marry must come home with a kitchen....smh

wwwkaycom:
He met his fiancee in their school, she's one of the choir sisters in their fellowship choir. They started their love affairs in 2014 and would like to get married mid-2016. The big issue according to him is that the lady don't seem to be prepared for marriage, even though she's working, she hasn't gotten anything to show that she's working towards marriage in 2 years not to talk of the next 6 months.

He said she spends her money on clothes, shoes and jewelries but recently served him and one of his friends food with the stainless plate that they use in her home, he said he felt humbled when his friend politely turned down the food.

This guy believes that his fiancee by now ought to have invested on kitchen wares, plates, cutleries etc. He said he had actually started buying these stuffs without informing her but is now of the opinion that the lady may not change in marriage. I have asked him to talk it over with his fiancee which he did but he said she told him point blank that that is his responsibility. He has already diverted the money he was saving for the wedding to landed property, saying he will begin to look out for another lady. My plea fell on his deaf ears.

My take dear nairalanders is that the issue is just too flimsy to warrant separation at this stage, what do you think about it?

Flimsy ke? What he won't take b4 marriage can only get worse. Let hm continue d search or dey both end up in a frustrating marriage.

wwwkaycom:
He met his fiancee in their school, she's one of the choir sisters in their fellowship choir. They started their love affairs in 2014 and would like to get married mid-2016. The big issue according to him is that the lady don't seem to be prepared for marriage, even though she's working, she hasn't gotten anything to show that she's working towards marriage in 2 years not to talk of the next 6 months.

He said she spends her money on clothes, shoes and jewelries but recently served him and one of his friends food with the stainless plate that they use in her home, he said he felt humbled when his friend politely turned down the food.

This guy believes that his fiancee by now ought to have invested on kitchen wares, plates, cutleries etc. He said he had actually started buying these stuffs without informing her but is now of the opinion that the lady may not change in marriage. I have asked him to talk it over with his fiancee which he did but he said she told him point blank that that is his responsibility. He has already diverted the money he was saving for the wedding to landed property, saying he will begin to look out for another lady. My plea fell on his deaf ears.

My take dear nairalanders is that the issue is just too flimsy to warrant separation at this stage, what do you think about it?

you must be wicked or have got something to gain from that manipulative simpleton stsying on with your cousin. Leave the young man alone, he shouldn't have told you. You inadvertently dont mean well for him, encouraging him to continue with that thoughtless recalcitrant lady. Most decent ladies start to build their kitchen from spinster hood. Not having a breakable plate to serve your futurrfuture husband with , while acquiring clothes and jewelries is the height of irresponsibility and thoughtlessness. . Whats Worse?. , shes refused to change. If that young man goes on to marry such a woman because of your persuasion, you are worse than an enemy.

9th wonders of the world.

mira4u:
How does her refusal to buy cutleries portray her as a bad wife or one who isn't ready for marriage?
He is so narrow minded. He reasons on a thin line.

People are diff expecially men.
What you see as nothing as a woman may mean big thing as man because its all about his home, his house and his money. No man is ready to suffer to get money and to suffer to spend it rather to enjoy it.

She won't cool down now, tomorrow she will start praying and casting who may have working against her not to get married.

mira4u:
How does her refusal to buy cutleries portray her as a bad wife or one who isn't ready for marriage?


He is so narrow minded. He reasons on a thin line.

He is not so narrow-minded

What type of human being will not have at least 5 pieces of ceramics for hospitality purposes? A working woman for goodness sake. You would think that her education would have unconsciously prepared her for this.

iswallker:


Is she got property she should throw it away bah....am watching u in 3d and laughing.

She shld send it to her immediate family or relations, she shldnt move in with them

Na so dis mumu girls dey kill dem self oooo... Later if dem don 35 dem go wan go die for church. Even wen I was a student in school, I wasn't using stainless steel to eat my konkoshion rice or ewa oloyin.. Now for a working class lady that is about to marry.... It's a total no no. ( won tun ba so, o tun warunki)


BTW d dude is a Stern businessman, he knows Wat he wants. He's not just allowing emotions to becloud his thinking. I salute him for that.

shabbey09:
Na wa oh, men are different sha, my husband didn't want me to bring a single pin to his house. Infact I had to dash out my fridge and TV.

It's not enough reason abeg. He should only talk to her to have a saving culture.

I don't think that is the issue here

Did you used to serve him with stainless plates when he visited?

ogawisdom:
Op he has nt married her yet so can't demand she uses her money to buy stuff for their future kitchen, it is at d lady's discretion. What he can do is to b buying d kitchen stuff himself or give d lady money to buy n bring to his house. It is his responsibility really . Marriage is nt a partnership its abt a provider n a helper, dts y d woman's total submission to d man's leadership/authority is nt negotiable

She is moving into ur house as d man, when she moves in she must then support u. It is good sha to see her making plans towards ur future together, dt shows commitment but at this stage it's at her discretion.

By d way wat kinda of man will allow a woman move into his house with properties, she should nt move in into ur house with things beyond her clothing's, personal effects n d likes but nt gas cooker, microwave etc


U kw her well, do wat u think u shld do

can u chill, relax, sit back and listen u urself talk. really, marriage isn't a partnership what is it then

Homguy:
you must be wicked or have got something to gain from that manipulative simpleton stsying on with your cousin. Leave the young man alone, he shouldn't have told you. You inadvertently dont mean well for him, encouraging him to continue with that thoughtless recalcitrant lady. Most decent ladies start to build their kitchen from spinster hood. Not having a breakable plate to serve your futurrfuture husband with , while acquiring clothes and jewelries is the height of irresponsibility and thoughtlessness. . Whats Worse?. , shes refused to change. If that young man goes on to marry such a woman because of your persuasion, you are worse than an enemy.

My guy u get hot temper o! This is outrageous nau!

wwwkaycom:
He met his fiancee in their school, she's one of the choir sisters in their fellowship choir. They started their love affairs in 2014 and would like to get married mid-2016. The big issue according to him is that the lady don't seem to be prepared for marriage, even though she's working, she hasn't gotten anything to show that she's working towards marriage in 2 years not to talk of the next 6 months.

He said she spends her money on clothes, shoes and jewelries but recently served him and one of his friends food with the stainless plate that they use in her home, he said he felt humbled when his friend politely turned down the food.

This guy believes that his fiancee by now ought to have invested on kitchen wares, plates, cutleries etc. He said he had actually started buying these stuffs without informing her but is now of the opinion that the lady may not change in marriage. I have asked him to talk it over with his fiancee which he did but he said she told him point blank that that is his responsibility. He has already diverted the money he was saving for the wedding to landed property, saying he will begin to look out for another lady. My plea fell on his deaf ears.


My take dear nairalanders is that the issue is just too flimsy to warrant separation at this stage, what do you think about it?

It is better to be known as the guy that caLled off his wedding than a divorcee

mira4u:
How does her refusal to buy cutleries portray her as a bad wife or one who isn't ready for marriage?


He is so narrow minded. He reasons on a thin line.

after reading this post and other posts from most ladies on nl i am now fully convinced , most nigerian ladies are just thoughtless. Immature. Narrow minded, simpletons always looking for who to leech on. So its wronwrong for a lady to have her own glasswares? Or have the decency to serve her fiance and his friend with such. I hope you make such gaffe with your sharp fiance since you are even attacking the dude for using his head.

VenusBetty:
nonsense

betty

daretodiffer:


I don't think that is the issue here

Did you used to serve him with stainless plates when he visited?

Demmocrats:
OP all you said sounded funny but forgot to mention the most important quality in a wife, You said they met in Church, she is a Choir member but you failed to explain how Godly she is because a woman that fears God is more important than a woman that buys ceramics plates.

Besides OP you failed to mention her age, i guess she is still in her early twenties and may be from a well to do family, you don't expect her to be mature enough to know all those things you know and all you what her to do.

OP if your brother truly love her and she has the fear of God, i don't see anything wrong with the lady besides nobody is perfect including him that want's to marry the girl.

Love is not the issue but from her response when questioned, it appears she doesn't take corrections and now, that is a big problem.

Serving a man meal anyhow especially a soon to be is a sure sign that you have not recognized his kingship over you and you have not recognized your place as a queen.. Now considering the fact that she rarely takes correction how do you pass this across to her

Re-read again or dont u see where the op said he discuss it with her and her responses was that it's the guy responsibilities

VampireeM:
IMO, he is just looking for an excuse to call it quits and not cause of the household items stuffs but sincerely the lady aint trying @ all.
He should discuss it with her before taking these bold step

Many ladies just bask in the euphoria of wedding buh do not knw wht it takes in marriage. Smx, wen i hear tlk tinz thru wit a lady....its easy buh ao about change. Personality of any individual is nt so easy to change, coz Change itself is difficult.

My Candid Advice is for d guy to look further or get bleeped up.

Adios

Look ur cousin shud run away frm that girl.I see his point n I believe ur cousin is principled.I dumped a girl I wantd to marry over d same issue n today I thank God I was bold to do de right thing,cos today de girl is still livin in fantasy island.I wonder de mess she cld av made of my life.if after all her goin to church n workin she has nt learnt to grow up n be a responsible woman then she cnt change.to tell ur man dt its his responsibility to think of de home shows how pathetic she is in reasonin. Dt type of lady, if a man runs into problem, she ll just dump him n look 4 another man that can sustain her fantasy island way of life. IN CHOOSING A LIFE PARTNER SHINE YOUR EYES N BE REALISTIC.DNT LET EMOTIONS N SENTIMENTS BECLOUD YOUR SENSE OF REASONING. You kno why I did de right thing n dumped mine? Its cos my step brother made this type of mistake n de girl ruined his life.I learnt from his mistake. Dnt push your cousin into fire. Allow him to follow his mind n do de right thing if you love him.

Op your cousin is wiser than you and you should drink a little from his wisdom.

The girl isn't matured yet irrespective of her age.

Why I feel that serving you with stainless plate is not enough to end the relationship, I do agree that her attitude and response is.

She's probably one of these EndTime girls that will say, my money is my money, your money is our money!
Whoever is teaching them about marriage needs a reorientation.

She should be a helpmate not a stalemate.

Helkayklassic:
Different kind of break up nowadays but this cutlery own is new o.

abi you no see am? I said its too flimsy and petty but guys aren't seeing it that way, well, we see things differently sha

wwwkaycom:
He met his fiancee in their school, she's one of the choir sisters in their fellowship choir. They started their love affairs in 2014 and would like to get married mid-2016. The big issue according to him is that the lady don't seem to be prepared for marriage, even though she's working, she hasn't gotten anything to show that she's working towards marriage in 2 years not to talk of the next 6 months.

He said she spends her money on clothes, shoes and jewelries but recently served him and one of his friends food with the stainless plate that they use in her home, he said he felt humbled when his friend politely turned down the food.

This guy believes that his fiancee by now ought to have invested on kitchen wares, plates, cutleries etc. He said he had actually started buying these stuffs without informing her but is now of the opinion that the lady may not change in marriage. I have asked him to talk it over with his fiancee which he did but he said she told him point blank that that is his responsibility. He has already diverted the money he was saving for the wedding to landed property, saying he will begin to look out for another lady. My plea fell on his deaf ears.

My take dear nairalanders is that the issue is just too flimsy to warrant separation at this stage, what do you think about it?

In marriage she'll spend the kids school fees on clothes. She's not ready 4 marriage. Its better he ends it Now. Marriage is a forever tin o