blaise26abj:


If not for the pressures of our society , people in marriage should wait at least 2 years before tying to have kids . It will be beneficial for all parties . Even the woman can remarry easily without the burden of having kids

Exactly

People should not rush in having children honestly

Because going separate ways after marriage and having children is a very big evil on the children brought into the relationship

The horror it brings to these children is unimaginable

Couples should ensure that there partners are long term minded people.
They should do Proper research

It's those short term minded people that immediately seek for divorce

Once you notice your partner is short minded relationship person run one time

They easily have divorce at the back of there minds

Women lie alot. Most men are ready to take care of their kids they are not just ready to confront a toxic entity each time they need to see their kids

shegxi:
i think it depends, some men are nt even rili responsible when togeda nt to talk of wen seperated or divorced. also, some men take out d anger on d children which is not rite.

God bless my dad. He has been responsible, still is even as I am married, always responsible. Hey Dad! Your baby girl loves you forever. I pray you will live till 120 years, Aaamen!

Irresponsible men just don't have the fear of God, nothing else. Even if you don't have, let it be seen in the little that you have that you care.

agabaI23:
Careful? Fuel is selling for 140 and it is not even available

When he came in 1984, there was scarcity of everything including forex. There was hard times
This time again it is repeating. Buhari is bad omen. he has to prove me wrong and I am praying he does but so far, that's the reality.

All dis new generation won't know dat

avicky:

That's not true. I have seen a father who abandoned his son after separation. The wife wants him to be involved in the son's life but he wouldn't budge. School fees, feeding, health has been the responsibility of the struggling mother.
Look, so many irresponsible fathers out there. Two sane adults should not bring their kids into the fracas between them.
So I don't buy your assertion.

That's just an exception, exceptions doesn't make the norm!, the norm is that most divorced women restrict there kid(s) from there ex husband intentionally out of bitterness and revenge

gvibes:



All dis new generation won't know dat

Don't mind them
He failed to prove me wrong.

Moana:
i have 3 cousins with children whose fathers refused to take care of and they even use their mother's surnames and over 7 people i stayed in hostel with that were single mothers with no support from their fathers are you satisfied with double the number?

Nigerian women are worshipped and how many of these worshipped women are being used for rituals and human trafficking. The number of rape and physical abuse cases on NL alone are alarming. Child marriage is a sign of women being worshipped abi? Okay continue

You women always have and know people!... always on the negativity and division, nawa oo

NiceJenny:
Only useless men does that. Real men dnt

There's nothing like real men!... it's a manipulatively coined language to coerce men to do things against there wish and displeasing there selves to please others, A man is a man, either he's responsible or irresponsible!

cococandy:
What if the woman is happily divorced? Say her life is better and happier without the marriage.
why do you think the average divorced woman is angry and vile? (note the word vile)

Quit deluding yourself, no Divorced woman is happy... divorce shows FAILURE in one major aspect of life!

avicky:

That's not true. I have seen a father who abandoned his son after separation. The wife wants him to be involved in the son's life but he wouldn't budge. School fees, feeding, health has been the responsibility of the struggling mother.
Look, so many irresponsible fathers out there. Two sane adults should not bring their kids into the fracas between them.
So I don't buy your assertion.

And I have seen callous, useless, worthless and vile woman who use the children of their ex to punish their ex.
She denies my guy free access to his daughter and uses the daughter to extort and exploit my guy.
Mind you she was the one who walked out of the marriage because was finding things hard, she from fckin outside got married to another but now wants to whine her way into my guys life when she saw my colleague is now set up.

Women are mostly idiots with fish brain.

agabaI23:
No, it is because most times, the women don't want them to be part of the children's lives but they will want them to be financilly involved fully. I doubt there is a father that will abandon his children because he is divorced.

deeptesting:
It is no longer news to hear about couples going their separate ways today,immediately after separation or divorce most father`s cut off all ties with their ex including the children, it really beats my imagination why most men also divorce their children.

Most men quickly move into another relationship abandoning the children for the woman, they don`t call, visit or even write letters to the children. We have witnessed few cases here on Nairaland where the children now grown ups put up pictures of their fathers taken 30yrs ago in search of the man who gave birth to them..

Real men don't divorce their kids too.

Only God know why some men do that. I can never cut ties with my children, there are my heir.

agabaI23:
No, it is because most times, the women don't want them to be part of the children's lives but they will want them to be financilly involved fully. I doubt there is a father that will abandon his children because he is divorced.

It's because the women force their kids to choose sides and they naturally side with her since she has custody.

The man cuts off contact to preserve his own sanity that's why he's quick to start another family which takes the edge off the pain Women are master manipulators, especially in patriarchal societies.

.

CuriousStudent:

You made sense alot.i can agree.

But the welfare of kids should not be tied down to "emotional satisfaction" and the rest. Feelings or satisfaction shouldn't be the reason to withdraw any support from kids. Or do women "feel good" or "connected" to the men before raising their four kids alone?

It is never an easy road for either couple,but it seems it's women that still fulfil their duties despite the uneasiness while men can take the royal walk when their emotions,peace of mind or whatever is at stake. This is what men accuse us of, "wanting soft life or taking the leave when a man money finishes or he loses his job".

Tying down a man support to his kids after divorce to his "emotional connection " or "gossip from the ex-wives" and the rest is flimsy.

But off course those excuses will continue to fly until the law makes it madatory-at that time you will complain of the law being man-hating or gynocentric

By the way I also wish the law should be flexible on custody. A woman should not be automatically granted custody.

Before such laws mandating the continuation of a man's responsibilities to his children are enacted as you suggested, It would be fair to first enact laws that mandate joint physical custody in the event of a separation or divorce.

I suggest that it become a criminal offence to keep a man's children from him or restrict or control his access to them any way.

With such laws balancing mandatory child support (which by the way, men go to prison for) things should work out fine for all parties.

I have always asked divorced women; if you want your father's child in his life so much, why don't you make arrangements to send him the child to spend holidays with?

I find it simply baffling. How is it that a person does not want to compromise but wants the other party to?

avicky:

That's not true. I have seen a father who abandoned his son after separation. The wife wants him to be involved in the son's life but he wouldn't budge. School fees, feeding, health has been the responsibility of the struggling mother.
Look, so many irresponsible fathers out there. Two sane adults should not bring their kids into the fracas between them.
So I don't buy your assertion.

Of course you won't buy his assertion because women always want to play the victim. The person you quoted has seen what he is talking about but you claim he is telling lies because of you have seen one irresponsible father...lol. Have you not seen irresponsible mothers?

avicky:

That's not true. I have seen a father who abandoned his son after separation. The wife wants him to be involved in the son's life but he wouldn't budge. School fees, feeding, health has been the responsibility of the struggling mother.
Look, so many irresponsible fathers out there. Two sane adults should not bring their kids into the fracas between them.
So I don't buy your assertion.

Because you have seen a case, where the father willingly absconded,it doesn't make his assertions any less true..
Most divorced women are bitter, vengeful and spiteful and will do anything to frustrate the man..
And their weapon of choice is their children..
A man who just came out of a toxic relationship,will not be eager to continue in such a relationship,by proxy..
Deal with your ex husband maturely and he would not abandon his children for his peace of mind..

achimendy:




Only God know why some men do that. I can never cut ties with my children, there are my heir.

They cut ties, because they can't continue to deal with toxic relationships..
Most divorced women are bitter,vengeful and spiteful..
His sanity is paramount and if he has to cut ties to preserve his mental health,so be it.

Caleycash:
Quit deluding yourself, no Divorced woman is happy... divorce shows FAILURE in one major aspect of life!

Are there divorced men who are happy?

agabaI23:
You have seen A father. One father doing that does not make a majority. The women foolishly do that as a way of punishing the father.

She's speaking fact.men like that are just naturally irresponsible and deadbeat fathers

omogin:

You sound like you are speaking from experience, lol...every case can't be same so you can't just say 'that's not true'

She's speaking fact.even while together some men are not responsible talk more of being apart.it should not affect your responsibility as a man to the child involved.

Moana:
go to the maintenance court closest to you this week and see if you will not find at least 10cases of men who neglect their children after divorce and you will know its something frequent.

You are right.even social welfare will be advising you to settle instead and God help you the man is loaded or connected.the case wunt move an inch.

because a divorced woman is angry and vile. Some of them try to turn the back of the kids against their daddy by saying all sort of bad things about him, no matter how hard the man try to be a responsible father, the kids would not appreciate it. Men know this and that is why they dnt indulge themselves. Not all dads tho.

Not all women speak ill of their ex spouses to their kids. if you try as much to involve their father and he isn't doing anything ,will you abandon the kids?

agabaI23:
You should take me to one

And you should wait to hear from the men why?

Remember that those cases will also include those who are willing and has been doing the needful who probably has fallen on Buhari time at present and bad times at other times.

The woman would happily let the court know he is no longer paying

At least some men still make effort. How about those that don't and still don't care.

donbenie:
They cut ties, because they can't continue to deal with toxic relationships..
Most divorced women are bitter,vengeful and spiteful..
His sanity is paramount and if he has to cut ties to preserve his mental health,so be it.

You're very correct. Most women are like that, they even instigate the children against their father. But I think the best thing is after cutting ties with wife I'll look for a way to take custody of my children o. I no go leave my children for her.

cococandy:


Are there divorced men who are happy?

Including the men no one is happy, divorce is a failure in terms of marriage and family

Miami11:
Because they are mean and selfish

Lol see this one blaming a man from her problem..

After running away from the marriage,u hopeing for the man to send you money for the child and family services.

Y will a lady run away from the house with the child when she knew she does not have the money
For child up keep.. ... ?

Caleycash:
Including the men no one is happy, divorce is a failure in terms of marriage and family

They may not be happy about the divorce. I don’t think anyone goes into marriage hoping it fails. So obviously they won’t be happy that it didn’t work out

But it doesn’t mean they have no happiness in their lives as individuals. Two different things. So when you say there’s no happy divorced person, you’re coming across as if you mean that once someone gets divorced, they’ll never be happy again.

They will be. Just not about the divorce.
And eventually it gets behind them. And they move on. And find happiness in other things

Some women motive is .... If I can't have you, u won't see your child.

They don't really want a father for their kids, but a husband for themselves.

There are many things I want to write but I don't where to start

blaise26abj:


If not for the pressures of our society , people in marriage should wait at least 2 years before tying to have kids . It will be beneficial for all parties . Even the woman can remarry easily without the burden of having kids

So, u don't know that women tend to behave well when there is no child. I will advise to give birth to one and wait, if you can't condole her evil spirit then everyone will go their separate ways