As a career coach, the more I speak, counsel and advise people, the more I realise everyone’s got great potentials for success. I don’t believe anyone is born to fail, or lack, or beg. There is something in us all, something about us all, that can make us all very successful. I’ve spoken to so many people and at the start of the conversation they are timid, intimidated and don’t think there’s anything good in them, but after a while, after asking some right questions, they begin to see themselves differently, they gradually become excited, happier, motivated and they eventually leave elated, with renewed confidence and zeal to go and win. I can’t recall any experience where anyone left still depressed and low. This made me conclude that our limitations and can’t-do disposition is all in our minds. I believe we were all born bold, confident and zealous. But the circumstances of our birth and upbringing play a critical role in how we eventually turn out either as bold, confident, charismatic and self- assured Or fearful, intimidated, panicky and apprehensive. The environment in terms of wealth, affluence, location, exposure, interaction, information and association can either boost or deplete our self-confidence. Our care givers including parents, teachers, religious leaders, siblings, friends and associates can also strengthen or kill our confidence. Kunle a very bright young student was a celebrated academic champion in his secondary school days in a town in the mid-western part of Nigeria. He was very good with numbers and very strong on several subjects as well, except English probably because his parents were not educated and most of his teachers and colleagues were not grammatically strong as well. He passed his SSCE with a minimum credit in English and was overjoyed when he got admission to the University Of Lagos to study Mass Communication. Kunle had lost every ounce of confidence, vibrancy, passion and academic zeal after his first semester simply because everyone around him in the hostel, class and even some lectures roared with laughter every time he spoke English because of his grammatical errors, pronunciations, accent and diction. This dealt a terrible blow to his ego, a fustrating experience and soon enough his passion for academic excellence began to wane. Kunle eventually graduated with a pass and is yet to recover from his very low self-esteem and confidence. I personally believe there are so many people out there with great potentials and so much to offer but the circumstances of their birth and upbringing or even an experience has truncated their confidence making it impossible for them to manifest competence, expertise and greatness. Poverty, abuse, lack of exposure, ignorance and naivety are serious confidence damagers. Either strongly or mildly many of us still suffer low self-esteem due to some of these factors. Low self-esteem mitigates your ability to express and manifest your gifting, abilities and competence. You’re afraid someone is going to make jest or mockery of you. You don’t want to look or sound stupid where it matters and you’ll always prefer to keep your opinions to yourself. You don’t also want people to think you don’t know much or not exposed and you don’t want to showcase your ignorance, hence you hardly champion an opinion, counter a position or express your convictions. You’ll rather wait for someone else to talk first then you would second the opinion depending on weather it is popular or not. Some of us have been relegated to this situation basically due to the attitude of the boss. Your boss may not appreciate people challenging his views and suggestions and you have decided to keep mute on all matters and just do what he says. This disposition is quite dangerous to your career prospects and personal success. Self-confidence makes you stand out of the crowd, allow your personality to find expression and earns you respect, dignity and influence. How do you regain your self-confidence? First, find out who you really are. Identify your strength and weakness this puts you in a better position to make good decisions. Then learn to showcase and celebrate your strengths. Let people know you’ve got those strengths and let them ask of it from you. Secondly, avoid imitating people. You can learn from people but be your original self. If you need to copy from anyone do it smartly by adapting whatever it is to fit your own style. Thirdly, study and learn new things. Give yourself to continuous learning. Read books, magazines and other relevant materials. Also watch TV programmes that will expose and improve you - Educative not just entertaining. And lastly but not least, commit to excellence. Anything you do, give it your best. Never settle for anything less than your best and you will gradually gain your confidence back.Enjoy your day. BY MUYIWA AFOLABI

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