crotonite:


nooooo, i was in a car (about to comment sensibly on this thread), when one recklees speed freak dodged a pot-hole and almost ran into our car.

now you get it? i don't press phone on the street.

4C2215131:


How much change are we looking at here? I know its a tough but to crack hence my wondering G what folks think about the issue.

We are quick to call a lady a strumpet for dating several guys and term guys shameless he-hoats for hopping from gal to gal never minding that we do not know the circumstances that informed it.

So I was thinking that despite the circumstances, how far can you go in being 'undersatnding' when your partner tells you (or you find out) how many members of the opposite sex they've been with intimately

4C2215131:


So you espouse the philosophy of total abstinence from relationship prior to marriage? Don't you think maybe one needs a little hands-on experience in a matter that may decide his/her happiness for a long time to come? Just a question as I'd appreciate your reason(s) for your stance.

Monalisa185:
as many as possible

obiorathesubtle:
bro.. It changes a lot.. Now, he/she doesn't even need to have the number of failed trail partners considered.. Makes no difference as he/she is very much sexually active...


Despite the circumstances? Yes.. I always think that way.. A lot of things in life are unavoidable.. Now.. For starters, I don't even need the info.. What will I use the statistics for??.. But if I eventually find out, it'll make no difference to me.. They're "circumstances" involved.

crotonite:


sincerely, if i should bleEP a girl before we get married, then probably i will asume i am not the only guy that has humped her. a wierd looking stuff after marriage can easily get one filing his mind with all sort of false accusations.

i am still singleton, but i gat my eyes agape, searchinhg for that speciall one.

MuhdG:

I don't agree

4C2215131:


So er, you're willing to risk the supposed dis-advantages that come with marrying someone whom you've not been sexually acquainted with?

4C2215131:


May we know why please.

MuhdG:

Naa

crotonite:


exactly, i would do that for true love.

MuhdG:
I don't agree

juliusogedengbe:
UNCOUNTABLE

Monalisa185:


ehhh...put down your own opinion na...

4C2215131:

Even with the 'sex' caveat?

Monalisa185:


hehehehe.. I no know again o

4C2215131:


That means you didn't read the post in its entirety? Lol.


It wouldn't be a mind boggling topic if sexual relations isn't involved. The notion or thought that your significant other has been had by whatever number of partners in his/her journey to you (his/her supposed true love) is what I'm trying to explore hence the question.

So please, try and 'know'.

tbh? I only read the topic... I'll try and know now

Monalisa185:


tbh? I only read the topic... I'll try and know now

4C2215131:
Well, folks of both sexes keep tossing words back and forth about the 'good' and 'bad' female or male and such.

So I wonder, how many guys can a girl date prior to settling down for her not to be regarded as wayward in her single years, same applies to the chaps.

We should remember some females are just not lucky in love and some cool chaps keep hooking up with Jezebels and Delilahs. So when the figures come in she's been found to have dated 10 fellas prior to meeting her current beau while he' s being through 15 members of the fairer sex before hooking up with the one he currently calls his.

Now does this make this lady and gent individuals that have lived promiscuous lives prior to settling down? What's your take? Quite a relative situation in my opinion if ever there was any.

andromida:


How important is the body count?

4C2215131:



So my question is how many lovers in the past is considered OK for a good girl ( not a runs girl or whatever) irrespective of the causative .

andromida:


It depends on the person asking and what he is comfortable with.

Good girls know not to disclose such

4C2215131:


So you mean one could be economical with the truth? Again, picture that he/she didn't disclose the info but somehow as it usually happens (guess the ether got ears after all) the truth came out.

So in your opinion, how many exes can you put up with?

andromida:


If the guy can tell the girl the true reason he is asking for the body count then she should not be economical with the truth. The only time such info comes to light is if the girl used to be the village slut. If the girl used to be a LovePeddler then she needs to let him know if she feels she can trust him.


Exes are not my concern except if the person knows they are relevant to the present or will be in the future.

4C2215131:


Very well then. OK, theoretically in your opinion, on yje average how many females/males would you expect a good partner to have dated prior to settling down ceteris paribus.

Putting the squeeze on you eh?

andromida:


Zero.

Ok for real it depends on the people involved if you want a girl/guy with low body count you should know where to look.

On the side at what stage of a relationship would you ask your girl how "many men have you slept with"?

4C2215131:


You know, things happen. One thing could lead to another and there's a domino effect where to keep things in focus, you gotta come out the closet.

You see, a lot of partners know stuff about their significant other that he/she ain't telling til something brings it up. An argument or whatever.

As for zero, well while it might be possible on the average this ain't so. Guess we all just have to look at the present and be content with what we have.

Searching for answers in the past might just Rob us of the present.

andromida:


How is this a closet? feels like the person has committed a crime by being with a no of people in the past when he/she never dreamt they would ever meet you how have you now become the one who forgives the person for these acts? Its not a right simply because they are now in a relationship with you even if your own body count is zero. If at all any one should be concerned its the person you are questioning.

So you went to lengths to get stuff about your partner why the secrecy? i would think the reason you wanted to investigate was to bring things to light not to judge your partner or use as a weapon of offence during arguments.

If it bothers you so much there is no reason to be content with what does not satisfy.

In the body count scenario what answers are you searching for in the past?

4C2215131:


Being human, never minding how hard we try we do use what we know even if we know it's not a proven fact as a weapon when provoked for whatever reason.

This be the reason why it's always best to walk away than say what comes to mind when provoked as then all you want to do is hurt the feelings of the next man.

@ closet thingy, it was used as a metaphor not necessarily implying that compromising facts were intentionally hidden from one's parrner.

4C2215131:

Now that's a good girl/guy. Whadya think after going through the post?

girl/guy? interesting..... tbh, still have not gone through it

Monalisa185:


girl/guy? interesting.....

tbh, still have not gone through it