i will make sure i train my daughter well. so she wont embark on craps like dis. when he hammers do u think he will send u

Juliusdaughter:

Pls learn to bring out your point without insulting people. Your reply have not helped me in any way

Sweetheart I understand your matter. Its obvious u've not had much experience abt relationships especially bcus u said he's been ur only guy since predegree. But based on guys' nature, ppl are wondering how u don't knw he might have been spending ur money or part of ur money on other gals.

Then u sound so sure that he'll marry you, he'll get a job blabla. What makes u think he's not having an affair already where he's serving? And abt job, its not an automatic thing in naija. Lol, music is not job and when he bcomes a musician, many pantless girls will hover around him and all ur sacrifices would be a loss

Well its still good if u wanna help him, it only shows u have a kind heart. But don't put your mind on him. 1st relationships don't usually work, they're just to build up experiences like u're gaining now. I strongly believe he has other girls. And music isn't a strong future. Getting a good govt work that can put food on d table for the family is best in nigeria.

Hope I've helped you a little.

missyadorable:
Your boyfriend is surely spending your money with another babe(s) and will definitely dump you.


You are dull sha...giving a man your body and your money.Nonsense!


Watch out!He will soon show you "shege"...Naija man...he can't appreciate such gesture.He already sees u as stu.pid and desperate and must take advantage of you

Many ladies did what she is doing now and they are now singing "praise the Lord" and some other 'wise' ladies like you are envying them. In as much as we all agree she should exercise restraint, your being so sure that every 'Naija man' is a brat is wrong. Your believing a lady should never help her man will make you selfish; so selfish you'll hardly get into any man's heart. Moderation is the rule of life.

ednut1:
i will make sure i train my daughter well. so she wont embark on craps like dis. when he hammers do u think he will send u

ednut1, you too wicked na! You mean they no train am wella? I think she's obviously street unwise.

Freelanswer:

ednut1, you too wicked na! You mean they no train am wella? I think she's obviously street unwise.

dem no train am well na. e be like say make babe dey spons wizkid, olamide nd co. when dem hammer na with reckless abandon dem go dey nk about na

alot of musicians started on the street before they came to limelight. helping your bf to pursue his dream is no big deal. jst like u are doing, u can advice him not to put all his eggs in a single basket should incase music Dd not work out. dnt gv up on him yet but dnt do in d detriment of ur own ambition to avoid story tht can later touch the heart.

Don't o! You will regret it. It just happened last week here o. He is a man, he has sisters, uncles and aunties let them help him. Or he should do the proper introduction otherwise OYO..... This is not a fiction, the girl is in the hospital after 4 years offinancially supportinga her boyfriend.

Freelanswer:

Many ladies did what she is doing now and they are now singing "praise the Lord" and some other 'wise' ladies like you are envying them. In as much as we all agree she should exercise restraint, your being so sure that every 'Naija man' is a brat is wrong. Your believing a lady should never help her man will make you selfish; so selfish you'll hardly get into any man's heart. Moderation is the rule of life.

Bros! I have come to realise on Nairaland that they hate the truth but love lies. I once adviced a young lady not to do same thing but today, she is regretting her actions.
Different stroke for different folks.

Sunnypar:

Bros! I have come to realise on Nairaland that they hate the truth but love lies. I once adviced a young lady not to do same thing but today, she is regretting her actions.
Different stroke for different folks.

O yes, you're very right. I'm only against that lady trying to give the impression that ladies can only be pests on men... and should never help and also her believe that all 'Naija men' would behave alike.

Sunnypar:
Don't o! You will regret it. It just happened last week here o. He is a man, he has sisters, uncles and aunties let them help him. Or he should do the proper introduction otherwise OYO..... This is not a fiction, the girl is in the hospital after 4 years offinancially supportinga her boyfriend.

I don't know why you guys are still wasting your time on this girl. From her comments above, it is clear she has made up her mind. Let's live her to acquire experiences of her own. Even if those experiences will be bitter, that's the only way I believe she can learn.

young lady, itz not bad to aid ur bf or any1 but let it b a fruitful project so dat u dunt end up as jst a stepping to hiz glory & den u end up bin sidelined.....ur man shd engage into sumfin else by d side & not jst relax bkos he feels hiz got a financial backup frm ur ends.......remember hiz ur bf & not yet ur husband & even if hiz ur husband itz not & xcuse to lavish hard earned money in d name of music......dere are lots of pple wit rich parents & support yet deir song no blow Õoº°˚ ˚°ºoo........

ama read first

falconey:
when guys sponsor girls, meet her insatiable needs it's normal.

but when it's the other way around it becomes an issue .

if you are tired of assisting him then stop, he is not going to die and I'm sure he will be what he is destined to be.

There is some truth to this. But, why is it an issue the other way round tho? Ie: girl helps boy.

I agree that she should not be assisting him if it is something she is not comfortable with; because she will resent him at some point for it. And, I imagine the guy isn't all thrilled that she is the one funding his career aspiration now.

Juliusdaughter:

I am not helping because i think we will marry. Marriage will come at the right time wether or not i help him

Would you be cool with yourself if after all this support he marries another woman?

Will you feel used and abandoned or great with an outcome of him marrying another woman after all your investments.

There is nothing wrong helping him as you truly believe in him just don't lie to yourself and if you are no longer comfortable it's ok to stop just as he does not owe you marriage because you chose to invest in his dream, you don't owe him your money unless you draw up a business arrangement where you own some shares in the business you are investing into this way you don't get used and you are clear on what is what.

Give Conscientiously- strictly based on what you can give without expecting return. Kindness is a virtue, but servitude is an unpronounced sin. I'm totally against those that advised you to stop giving him further financial assistance. However, I hate to see anyone being subjected to emotional abuse through manipulation all in the name of relationship of whatsoever. If I were you, I'd rather take timeout to find out whether your supposed boyfriend is intentionally exploiting your fragile emotion through act of manipulation all in the name of been in a relationship with you, or he's genuinely in need your help. I supposed you know how to find out about this.

In summary, I hold the opinion that any intimate relationship that will necessitate one to apply the "sixth sense" to relate with another is not healthy and should never be allowed to continue.

Freelanswer:

Many ladies did what she is doing now and they are now singing "praise the Lord" and some other 'wise' ladies like you are envying them. In as much as we all agree she should exercise restraint, your being so sure that every 'Naija man' is a brat is wrong. Your believing a lady should never help her man will make you selfish; so selfish you'll hardly get into any man's heart. Moderation is the rule of life.

Lol....Marriage is good.If I wasn't married now,this your rantings would have been painful...but to God be the glory,with my selfishness,i got into a man's heart and he did the needful instead of looking up to me for financial support.... Compare the percentage of ladies who spent money on their guys and got married to the ones who were dumped..carry out a study and gimme the feedback!

Naija men are crafty! When God said "Be wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove",He was referring to how ladies should relate with Naija men!

O.P, receive sense in Jesus Name, b4 its too late.

Awww. What love can do.Its cool that you are supporting him but there is always a limit to everything. Never dedicate everything you have to a guy who isn't your husband because when he dumps you it would hurt like b!tch. Just be careful, advice him to get a partime job, that would help too. He wouldn't have to be running to you everytime when he needs money. Btw. I am seeing the way you defend this guy, you must rly love him.

. Love has turned dis gal stupid... How can u give such amount of money to a guy u aren't even married to... U're such a big fool.. . Madam shine ur eyes well...stop thinking with ur emotions... Ur bf sef nor get shame... He dey ask for money from he gf... shame suppose catch am.... Boyfriend my foot... mtcheew.... May God give u sense... Amen

Ighoga898:

i ain't surprise at all, because d truth dey say its always bitter

what's makes your bullcrap assertion the truth?



You brought something out of your ass and you're calling the truth?


Fxck off

I hardly comment on threads but this scenario is very similar to few of my friends which one of them is a very very popular musician.
But before i proceed, i will need to ask you few questions:
1. Do you believe and trust him?
2. Do you believe in his talent and dreams?
3. Does he appreciate every of your kind gestures?
4. Are you supporting him based on what you will gain when he finally blows or you are just doing it out of sheer cheerfulness and love?

Think about this....


If you really really love him, keep giving your support but use your head; if he needs 50k, ask him how much he has gotten then tell him you can support him with a fraction of the needed principal.
Act lady a good lady but think like a player. #My2Kobo

missyadorable:
Your boyfriend is surely spending your money with another babe(s) and will definitely dump you.


You are dull sha...giving a man your body and your money.Nonsense!


Watch out!He will soon show you "shege"...Naija man...he can't appreciate such gesture.He already sees u as stu.pid and desperate and must take advantage of you

God bless u for this comment...u make sense die...

Don't do it if you will later regret. Do it cos yo happy doing it. Shikena!

Juliusdaughter:

I am not helping because i think we will marry. Marriage will come at the right time wether or not i help him

seriously: o

[quote author=Laveda post=43316227]
Your responses...
You sound like you don't even need the advice more like you ready to spend more!!!

You are not nice, womam! But if it is the other way round, it will oksy abi? Who bought that phone for you

Saddist:
. Love has turned dis gal stupid... How can u give such amount of money to a guy u aren't even married to... U're such a big fool.. . Madam shine ur eyes well...stop thinking with ur emotions... Ur bf sef nor get shame... He dey ask for money from he gf... shame suppose catch am.... Boyfriend my foot... mtcheew.... May God give u sense... Amen

U are indeed a saddist

Leriebloom:
Awww. What love can do.Its cool that you are supporting him but there is always a limit to everything. Never dedicate everything you have to a guy who isn't your husband because when he dumps you it would hurt like b!tch. Just be careful, advice him to get a partime job, that would help too. He wouldn't have to be running to you everytime when he needs money. Btw. I am seeing the way you defend this guy, you mus9t rly love him.

But is good for for guys to spend millions on girls they are not married to

Conceptualise it as a risk game.

Calculate the risk. Are you willing to bear the risk of him disappointing you by never paying up or leaving you?

Thinking that you won't need your money in 2 years is wrong.

Thinking or rather forcing your mind to believe that he will blow within a time limit to pay you up is also wrong. It's not that his success is a guarantee and you don't know what tomorow holds.

If you truely believe in him (I'm not saying if you love him)... If you truely believe in him, you can invest in him. You should see your investment as playing your part in putting him on his career path. If he rises to stardom and/or pays up, that's a bonus for you.

Keep sponsoring him because you believe in him career wise, not because you love him or he will come back to marry you.

Evaluate the risk and make your decision.

If it's possible, you can bind him to a legal agreement regards the loan.

Again, don't sponsor him with the hope that he is coming back to marry you. Find out if he isn't seeing anyone else; humans shouldn't be trusted.

Juliusdaughter:
I know this might not be the right thing to do, coming out here to wash the dirty linen of myself and my guy but I am left with no choice cos i'm confused and need people's opinion.
I am a final year student of a prestigious Nigerian university, my said guy is currently serving. We have been together for close to 5years now(started dating him from pre degree days). My bf is into music and so all the little change he makes is invested in music, he doesnt even buy new stuff for himself no more! Na now i know say bfr a below average Nigerian artist can be recognised eh go don tey
He is so passionate about this, as for me i have learned a skill because this present day Nigeria need not only certificate but what you can also give back to the society, in view of this i started saving some money from my pocket money. I was able to save a bit over 150K
This will not be the first or third time i will be assisting him with the little i have, what happened recently was that he told me about his new project and stuff, to cut story short he needed 50k but there was no where to get it, his typical african parents are not that interested in sponsoring him, his sibling decided to follow same path, the only person he could look up to was me, after so many nights of hope and helplessness i told him i have 60k in my acct and would be able to give him the 50k he needs since i am not in need of the money till by Gods grace when i am done with service and wanna start up a business. His dream came through and the project was done tho the outcome was not as positive as he thought. Many of his fans are now particular about one of his tracks and he has decided to push the song, but as usual no money he has been lamenting and sad cos of that, he needs 15k this time around and i have told him i dont have. I am so confused right now, i dont think its my fault that i encouraged him into doing music. I am not scared that he'd leave me by the rime the money comes because we are serious about each other. Is it advisable to keep helping him since i know i wont be needing the money till like two years time?( i would have saved more over that period of time also) and i am sure he would have gotten a job before i need the money so returning it would not be a problem. Pls what would you do if you were me? Tnk u all
Please i dont immature response on my thread,
Mods pls help push this to front page.

you are a dumb pickme chick with poor thinking skills. I hope he signed an IOU or u have proof he borrowd the money for his 'career'. oya receive sense IJN..
Every spirit of meeting broke men, of build a bum, or struggle love, depart from this OP IJN.

Op go and watch ACRIMONY by Tyler Perry. You go go get sends.

In other news

Almost new infinix hot 6 for sell. Without accessory. For sale 39k slightly negotiable.... The fone is very new... Call 08051974465. Phone is 99% neat. 100% funtional

Juliusdaughter:
I know this might not be the right thing to do, coming out here to wash the dirty linen of myself and my guy but I am left with no choice cos i'm confused and need people's opinion.
I am a final year student of a prestigious Nigerian university, my said guy is currently serving. We have been together for close to 5years now(started dating him from pre degree days). My bf is into music and so all the little change he makes is invested in music, he doesnt even buy new stuff for himself no more! Na now i know say bfr a below average Nigerian artist can be recognised eh go don tey
He is so passionate about this, as for me i have learned a skill because this present day Nigeria need not only certificate but what you can also give back to the society, in view of this i started saving some money from my pocket money. I was able to save a bit over 150K
This will not be the first or third time i will be assisting him with the little i have, what happened recently was that he told me about his new project and stuff, to cut story short he needed 50k but there was no where to get it, his typical african parents are not that interested in sponsoring him, his sibling decided to follow same path, the only person he could look up to was me, after so many nights of hope and helplessness i told him i have 60k in my acct and would be able to give him the 50k he needs since i am not in need of the money till by Gods grace when i am done with service and wanna start up a business. His dream came through and the project was done tho the outcome was not as positive as he thought. Many of his fans are now particular about one of his tracks and he has decided to push the song, but as usual no money he has been lamenting and sad cos of that, he needs 15k this time around and i have told him i dont have. I am so confused right now, i dont think its my fault that i encouraged him into doing music. I am not scared that he'd leave me by the rime the money comes because we are serious about each other. Is it advisable to keep helping him since i know i wont be needing the money till like two years time?( i would have saved more over that period of time also) and i am sure he would have gotten a job before i need the money so returning it would not be a problem. Pls what would you do if you were me? Tnk u all
Please i dont immature response on my thread,
Mods pls help push this to front page.

OAU Great Ife

We have a lot in common..respond I will send my number to talk