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Fathers Taking The Back Seat. - Family - Nairaland

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Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by topup: 1:56pm On Jul 15, 2009
I have noticed that in Nigerian culture (and many others aswell), the wife often has a greater responsibility in maintaining the household. I mean these days, it's not unusual for the wife to even have a job.

For instance, my mother practically acts as both mother and father, when my father is away, she works crazy hours, comes home late, and before we were all able to look after ourselves, she'd come home and cook, she was the one who did most of the rearing.

Okay, okay, so I guess my father is based in a different country, but my point is that he was okay to have such a situation, a situation where he knew that the other parent had an unfair share of the responsiblity, he was okay to live separate from his children, for whatever reasons known to the both of them.

I have noticed this in other couples as well. Where my friend, though both of her parents brought her up, she is much closer to her mother, who was a stay-at-home wife, who looked after the children.

My opinion is that in the 21st century, where women are trying to achieve success in both career and motherhood is it okay for men to still have the mentality of men before women's rights, is it okay for them to assume finanical provision covers everything?

Is it ridiculous to ask that father contribute in the rearing of children, not just in being the last resort, when a kid's been bad "Go to your father.", but being an active character in the child's life. "Let's do your homework together."

I vaguely remember my father doing such in our household, but there was always the idea that you had to go to mum first for everything.
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by ifyalways(f): 4:30pm On Jul 15, 2009
Your fonts strains the eyes.
@Topic,Times are changing,Men are becoming part of their childrens life Unlike b4.I've seen dad's changing diapers,feeding,cooking,doing chores at home so its safe to say no-one is taking the front or back seat As both are on the wheels,driving towards making a better home for themselves.IMO
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by mamagee3(f): 9:23pm On Jul 15, 2009
Why is it an issue?
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by Nobody: 9:58pm On Jul 15, 2009
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by MrCrackles(m): 10:00pm On Jul 15, 2009
I do everything and let my wife relax. . . . tongue
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by topup: 10:53am On Jul 16, 2009
That's good to hear. My point is just that it's not such a big deal if a father takes the back seat, a choice most mothers can't choose.
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Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by xqwysyte(f): 11:00am On Jul 16, 2009
[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font] Mr crackles, are u really married? ***blushes***
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by busybody20: 11:28am On Jul 16, 2009
MrCrackles:

I do everything and let my wife relax. . . . tongue

hmmmmmm u don marry? Haaaa ur wife go try oooooo nor be small grin grin
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by MrCrackles(m): 1:41pm On Jul 16, 2009
xqwysyte:

Mr crackles, are u really married? ***blushes***

Who u be? Tell me now before i find out. . . . cool wink
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by MrCrackles(m): 1:42pm On Jul 16, 2009
busybody20:

hmmmmmm u don marry? Haaaa ur wife go try oooooo nor be small grin grin

Am i too young to get married?
Anyway na u know. . . . . tongue cheesy
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by Sissy3(f): 5:42am On Jul 17, 2009
some men are actually changing and are taking the greater part of the rearing responsibility, at least i know one, he cooks for his wife, the wife hardly do any of the cooking or cleaning of the house. it's the hubby who does everything and still takes care of their toddler and upon that still works. and he doesn't complain or brag about it. usually few of the lucky women got those kinds
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by na2day2(m): 8:32pm On Jul 17, 2009
~Sissy~:

some men are actually changing and are taking the greater part of the rearing responsibility, at least i know one, he cooks for his wife, the wife hardly do any of the cooking or cleaning of the house. it's the hubby who does everything and still takes care of their toddler and upon that still works. and he doesn't complain or brag about it. usually few of the lucky women got those kinds

and ur point is that we men start doing all these things so that u ladies can focus on not wanting kids, right?
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by Sissy3(f): 9:21pm On Jul 17, 2009
na2day?:

and ur point is that we men start doing all these things so that u ladies can focus on not wanting kids, right?

focus on not wanting kids ke? btw, the couple i used in the ex. already have 3 young kids!

no ma point is that it's long overdue for most/some. . . .  those not doing it before to at least start contributing!
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by na2day2(m): 9:24pm On Jul 17, 2009
~Sissy~:

focus on not wanting kids ke? btw, the couple i used in the ex. already have 3 young kids!

no ma point is that it's long overdue for most/some. . . .  those not doing it before to start at least contributing!

will u fix the car also? will u do the lawn? if armed robbers come to the house, is it ok if i tell u to go down stairs and see what is going on? grin grin
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by Sissy3(f): 9:27pm On Jul 17, 2009
na2day?:

will u fix the car also? will u do the lawn? if armed robbers come to the house, is it ok if i tell u to go down stairs and see what is going on? grin grin

i do all those already, so what more? and even men do all those, it still doesnt prevent them from at least contributing!
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by na2day2(m): 9:34pm On Jul 17, 2009
~Sissy~:

i do all those already, so what more? and even men do all those, it still doesnt prevent them from at least contributing!

u've gone after the armed robbers b4? shocked shocked shocked
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by Sissy3(f): 9:43pm On Jul 17, 2009
na2day?:

u've gone after the armed robbers b4? shocked shocked shocked

for wetin? i dey craze tongue

how many men have actually done so
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by na2day2(m): 9:47pm On Jul 17, 2009
~Sissy~:

for wetin? i dey craze tongue

how many men have actually done so

we plenty na grin so my point be say u bi the proverb 31 woman, me go be the man wey go pray to find am, we no go switch roles, period! lipsrsealed lipsrsealed
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by Sissy3(f): 10:07pm On Jul 17, 2009
na2day?:

we plenty na grin so my point be say u bi the proverb 31 woman, me go be the man wey go pray to find am, we no go switch roles, period! lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

na lie jor. nawhere in the pro 31 did it say a man should never do anything in regards to those things, and too, we arent living the age of proverb century but in the new modern century tongue
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by na2day2(m): 10:35pm On Jul 17, 2009
~Sissy~:

na lie jor. nawhere in the pro 31 did it say a man should never do anything in regards to those things, and too, we arent living the age of proverb century but in the new modern century tongue

i am a christian, i still with what the bible expects a lady to be and it is in proverb 31. btw proverb 31 says my job is to sit at the gate of the city which may imply sit in front of the tv tongue tongue
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by TheSeeker(m): 5:35pm On Jul 18, 2009
na2day?:

i am a christian, i still with what the bible expects a lady to be and it is in proverb 31. btw proverb 31 says my job is to sit at the gate of the city which may imply sit in front of the tv tongue tongue
It means you'd be an immigration officer at the POEs. grin grin Make a request for a Proverbs 31 woman and they'd say you want to turn them to slaves. grin

@Top Up
This is an age where people want to actively get involved in the life of their kids . . . . . I must state that some parents are even at competition as to who should have more impact and influence in a child's life, so you see? What you posted existed some 30, 40, unlimited number of years ago, but things are beginning to reframe now and kids are feeling much more comfy with their dad. Are you missing the word "daddy's pet"? That tells you more.
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by na2day2(m): 5:44pm On Jul 18, 2009
TheSeeker:

It means you'd be an immigration officer at the POEs. grin grin Make a request for a Proverbs 31 woman and they'd say you want to turn them to slaves. grin


when u quote that bible passage give them, all of them give u face as if no bi the word of God again grin grin
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by TheSeeker(m): 5:52pm On Jul 18, 2009
na2day?:

when u quote that bible passage give them, all of them give u face as if no bi the word of God again grin grin
Then I start to wonder if they want to act out of the Bible's standards and still expect to go to heaven at rapture
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by na2day2(m): 8:19pm On Jul 18, 2009
TheSeeker:

Then I start to wonder if they want to act out of the Bible's standards and still expect to go to heaven at rapture

i suspect they are about handing to the good Lawd their own conditions on making heaven, u cant be so sure with women grin grin grin
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by TheSeeker(m): 8:22pm On Jul 18, 2009
na2day?:

i suspect they are about handing to the good Lawd their own conditions on making heaven, u cant be so sure with women grin grin grin
Then I don't think we stand a chance because they will practically want us all assigned to hell fire
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by na2day2(m): 8:41pm On Jul 18, 2009
TheSeeker:

Then I don't think we stand a chance because they will practically want us all assigned to hell fire

i suspect that so i am embarking on plan B grin grin grin
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by TheSeeker(m): 8:48pm On Jul 18, 2009
na2day?:

i suspect that so i am embarking on plan B grin grin grin
What's Plan B? I just might be interested.
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by na2day2(m): 9:11pm On Jul 18, 2009
TheSeeker:

What's Plan B? I just might be interested.

simple, getting to the good Lawd b4 them grin grin grin
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by TheSeeker(m): 9:18pm On Jul 18, 2009
Can I actually take that route? It'll take me 200 years to think about that, can I get back to you then or will I have been too late then?
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by na2day2(m): 9:34pm On Jul 18, 2009
TheSeeker:

Can I actually take that route? It'll take me 200 years to think about that, can I get back to you then or will I have been too late then?

2 late man, it is a now or never kind'a thing
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by TheSeeker(m): 9:37pm On Jul 18, 2009
na2day?:

2 late man, it is a now or never kind'a thing
Dang man! Imma have to think about this one and get back to you aiitee?
Re: Fathers Taking The Back Seat. by mamagee3(f): 10:13pm On Jul 18, 2009
Olden days of doing things

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