₦airaland Forum

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blaming since 1960

@bennyraz

Fair enough if that’s truly what happened and if she indeed brought it on herself. However, I find your point totally absurd about people who use the “report to moderator” button. If it’s a one off thing, you can easily ignore but if you feel you’re being attacked personally, then you should be able to protect yourself.


A system has to be in place to check the over 500k diverse group of people with varying personalities and that’s the idea behind that button, not a fancy click


Let’s take sweetlemon out of the scenario here; the internet is an extension of our lives offline, hence the same feelings can be evoked. From feeling excited about learning something new or being happy upon reading something great, people are gonna feel hurt too.
Emotional sensitivity varies among humans offline, same is expected online so we as humans need to be careful


Moreover, If we’re to translate this to real life, the way the NL 'gang' got on sweetlemon’s case is the same way jungle justice is practiced in Nigeria on petty thieves.

With that said, I’m not defending sweetlemon or trying to, I don’t even know her or what she looks like but my comments are based on logic and what I’ve read so far from her and others, i speak for myself

bennyraz: someone insults/ridicules you and you're dialing 911 instead of you to simply ignore.. If majority of Nigerian entertainers especially tonto, cossy, dbanj, wizkid, goldie paid attention to insults and ridicules, they would have committed suicide by now because they have no one to report to. That's my point.

These are celebrities, they're in the entertainment industry where people will hate and most negativity will be directed at their characters..sweetlemon is just an average jane and she's been singled out and shown hatred for whom she is..besides, what makes you think it doesn't get to the people you mentioned? We've read how they blow up sometimes even as much as they try to hide it, it's not fun to be ridiculed especially if you don't have a thick skin

bennyraz: what do you expect a public figure to do with the way we Nigerians bully them, commit suicide? If you are an Adult on this forum and you ever use that ''report to moderator button'' then you are a weakling cuz u can't handle any public office.. How many times was Sexskillz insulted on nairaland? Did he report to seun?

You're not making any sense, it's like saying don't dial 911 or any emergency number if you feel threatened because it'll make you look like a wuss to your neighbor, that's a warped mentality right there.

The button is there for a reason, it wasn't like seun was click happy or fat f1ngered the keyboard when he made it, it was intended for a purpose. Now tell me how using it will make the user a weakling?

Who is queen of sheba

[quote author=queen_of_sheba]Black sweater ring any bells? [/quote]Candy Otherwise, you're gonna have to help me out because my memory isn't the best

[quote author=Missy_B]Hope you're good?! [/quote]trying but it's hard with all that NL is throwing at you. Where is your domain now? Still entertainment, or was it fashion ** scratching head**

bennyraz: if you're a real adult on a forum that is faceless and someone tries to bully you, you simply don't pay attention and locate another section. Not, by using the ''report to moderator button'' is the moderator god? If you can't stand up to defend yourself here, it only makes you weak & inferior to others.. (in other words, you're still a baby) and i'm sure for you to have encouraged that makes you one.. Sexskillz will never say such

In case you don't know, internet bullying has caused a lot of suicides, call it low self esteem but whatever. Sometimes, you think the things you say don't mean anything or carry little but you don't know the face behind the screen, what they got going on or how they perceive it..

Alleinad: Haahahahahahaha!! You have all made my night. A lot of the stuff you've mentioned are really funny like the 'do you have food today?' Question. Anyway, I believe that the outside is ruled by the inside, the physical by the spiritual, in other words, what you believe works for you. Everybody isn't out to get you but shouldn't you rather play safe? Make progress, considerable progress on your plans before you consider disclosure. Your stories have been very educative to me.

I learned from this thread as well, i got a better idea on how the mindsets of a lot of people work and their reasons for doing some of these things. Agreed, one has to tread with caution but not to the point of hiding away from people who could be of help to you

[quote author=queen_of_sheba]so u have forgotten how i look like [/quote]Are you deliberately messing with me or for real

[quote author=Missy_B]We go know how amusing it will be if/when someone reports you or anyone else to me, and the offense is bullying.

Btw, I suppose you're still a teen. . .that stage in which ghetto behaviour is predominant and esteem of the public is important. I'll forgive that mentality you just displayed for now.[/quote]Preach it sista, tell it like it is
I miss you missyB, been like forever

[quote author=queen_of_sheba]2legit2quit i see u [/quote]That's not you right?

[quote author=queen_of_sheba]2legit2quit i see u [/quote]

https://cdn.thatssotrue.com/2011/11/24/thatssotrue.com_550_1329514290.gif How I walk down the hallway when there are people

https://cdn.thatssotrue.com/2012/2/28/thatssotrue_2604_1330457356.gif How I walk down the hallway when i'm alone

https://cdn.thatssotrue.com/2012/9/19/thatssotrue_16461_1348061090.gif How I walk down the hallway with my friends

abiL: LOL

I never specified a time. You just watch!

Hiii

Meanwhile, if anyone is serious about leaving NL, you don't need to write an essay to announce this, people will figure you are gone once you stop posting just in case you don't know Ms. This isn't like a classroom where attendance is taken

This thread is like crying for attention

lucenzo: no mind that bush man.

You're feeling like a bad guy just because you use the exit door to get into Walmart

Idowuogbo: U ok?

No, but i can guarantee, i'm better than a lot of people on here

Shollypopz: And someone liked this post?! Dumbfvcks!

Hey, it's a free world

freecocoa: Why quote a single letter only to write a long question nah?

Good question

binger: Why quote that looong post only to write a single letter nah?

because i felt like it

Sweetlemon: Hello everyone!

After doing some serious thinking, I have deceided to say my final goodbyes now.
I remember when I used to be just a guest on NL. That started around 2006/7. I registered around 2010/2011 but remained quiet until sometime last year when a thread debasing beautiful women was raised. Before then, I used to just come around to laught at funny posts and to learn from people's personal stories.
Then I started creating my own threads and flowing along with Nlers.... Until I started noticing the political atmosphere here.
With tears in my eyes I right the remaining part of this post
I never believed how possible it was for on-line comments from faceless people to pierce so deep in your heart. I never thought it was possible to see so much injustice on-line and even be affected by it. Until recently.
As someone said, NL has become a community of people, ALL kinds of people. To be frank my 'haters' are not so much. If you checked my recent threads, you will see that they are just about 15 of them or so. But the make the loudest noise. They are so brutal in their desire to bring me down that it's like they are over 1500000000 of them. But generally, my main reason for taking a bow out of here is because I can no longer continue being part of a community where people prefer to here sad stories than happy stories. A community where people do and say all kinds of nasty things to their 'threats' so that they can keep their own relevance here.
They claim that I say too much about my man, did I ever mention his name? His profession? What he does for me? Our quarrels? Our private dreams? Apart from him being attractive and well to do, and loving, what else do you know about him? What else have I mentioned about him that is too much information? Apart from him telling me he wants to buy a bed, me spending a weekend with him, and him telling me he wants to ask my father if he can buy the bed what other information do you know about our relationship?
Vivian chinaza came here some weeks ago to tell us a story about how she fell in love with a friend. Nobody accused her of saying too much. Why? Becauses mine is a happy story? Because mine is attractive, loving, and finacially stable? Do you know the funny thing? That vivian chinaza and some other people who have gisted us fully about their relationships in the past are the same ones accusing me of bringing my relationship to NL. Can you see what I'm talking about?
Every other day, people come in here to talk about their relationships, giving far much much much more info than I ever gave. They even talk about how they have sex with their partners! I remember so painfully a lady who started a thread a day before or after my own thread. Talking about how she's in a lesbian relationship with her own sister-in-law and another who said she was thinking of having a party with her hubby and another girl. Their threads did not get a third of the bashing mine got. Why? Because mine was a happy story??
Seun, I have learned a lot from NL. So much! So many people have impacted a lot in me and given great advice that I will forever be grateful for but you need to meet with your mods and brainstorm with them on how to attract and keep more mature minds as active members on NL. I'm not the first give you this advice. Please don't just overlook it and see it as words from rejects and loosers on Nl.
I salute your courage and intelligence in creating a forum where anything can be discussed. It's very exemplary of you and I believe that you can make NL a much more greater place than it is today. Big companies today remain where they are because they keep working and striving towards achieving more.
Please get rid of the unhealthy politics that has started eating deep here.
I have given you this advice like a sister and God knows that.
Thanks and goodbye!

k

So this girl is leaving all because of the cyber bullies?

speedyboi: oooh! Okay.
But its quite weird not to know what your friend does for a living!!!

And its unbelievable that you are a close friend to an entrepreneur, he is recruiting in his office and you have no idea about it. Is it not in nigeria? - The friend will even ask if he has anyone qualified!

From the op's post, i can only drive out two conclusions:
1. He is lying about this whole story.
OR
2. He is a hypocrite! Full stop!

Is reading your problem or understanding? I only used this case as an example of how people hide information that could have helped them just like somebody said about the girl that needed study materials but failed because of this same mentality.

You kept harping on about hypocrisy but I’m not gonna say a thing about that because I ain't here to defend myself about not being a hypocrite. Yeah maybe some people are but the focus of the discussion is the lack of self-disclosure to people who could potentially be of help to you.

[quote author=obo_man]Why do some Nigerians also have problems when things aren't disclosed to them?


Whether you tell me about something you about to embark upon is really up to you, and I shouldn't take offence if you don't tell me either.....


I'm sure why most Nigerians are afraid of disclosing things to their friends is actually because they don't really know how the relationship with their friends might end up.

Imagine a friend that knows a lot about me, then suddenly our relationship goes sour, another way he might get back at me is by using those things I told him as a form of ridicule, hence crushing my confidence and trust....

We have a society that gossips a lot ( from men to women), and our form of gossip is usually like a smear, a scorn, and a ridicule, mostly borne out of jealousy if our friends have just told us a good news.

Bearing this in mind makes people more careful who they disclose things to, and not necessarily the fear of witches...


Until every Nigerian starts seeing their friends' successes as their successes, then self disclosure won't be a common thing...



Poverty is another reason why....... In a poor society, every success story becomes a 'BIG DEAL'. Whereas, if you have a rich society where people get jobs daily, make huge profits daily, get good grades, buy new cars, etc, not disclosing things about yourself in that kind of society would be stupid. It would be stupid because it is likely that people around you will have the information needed to take you to the next level.

I want to buy a house in America and I'm keeping it to myself? Now that's stupid. Information in that kind of developed economy I would get by disclosing it to people is priceless.[/quote]I don’t have a problem with it, it doesn't affect me one bit, if anything, that person is saving me something to worry about. I only brought this up because it’s not just something with me, it’s a trend and a lot of people experience it all the time especially Nigerians

Your other point about poverty might be right, maybe that’s why people are wary of their friends and some have grown so used to it that even after being successful, it’s like a norm

ogayor: Whatever you are planning, please do discuss with your maker first. Aftermath, let see what and who can stop you. Such thing/person has to stop God first.

This is the most important thing I believe.

Not saying that people need to disclose the details of their lives or issues that will open a security loopholes like when you're bringing home some cash, that's unnecessary and.plain stupidity. However, hiding the fact that you are traveling abroad is a big deal especially to your friend, definitely not the best way to keep good and healthy relationships.

Dis Guy: The travelling bit is the most common one i hear, I mean i know some people are jobless but it's not like they will leave everything they are doing to travel and hide on the highway just to rob or destroy your car

Why cant you tell someone you're travelling

so primitive

Totally agree

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]I think you should reread my post, It honestly isn't about you and why you don't disclose stuff to people (it's certainly your prerogative).

What I found a bit wonky was the manner with which you attacked the OP trying to put the blame on him, as if somehow it is HIS fault he didn't know his friend was jobless and help him. My question is....how is he supposed to know?

You called him a hypocrite because he didn't know his friend was looking for a job without being told. Haba! Is he a Wizard?!!![/quote]Exactly! How can you help someone when you have not even the slightest clue what the problem is or how serious the help is needed

speedyboi: Me? Tell nigerians my problems? Tufiakwa! I'd rather tell my Dog.

@op, i can say for a fact that if he had told you, you won't help him. You are just another hypocrite like the average nigerian.

Didnt you know that your friend is jobless before? The recruiter is a close pal of yours, and he never told you he was recruiting? What are you telling me?! he definitely must had mentioned it to you, if you are indeed that close. But you didnt bother to tell your jobless friend to apply (he would have voiced out that he already did and you would've been able to get him the job), now you come here and you start saying bs, abeg bundle yourself out of my sight! bloody typical nigerian hypocrite! Mtcheew

I'm gonna hold out from cussing you out and i think Sisi Kill and carlinks already responded to you plus, I never said he didn't have a job, it was just an opportunity for something better. Besides, i don't go about asking people questions about things they deemed wrong to share with me, i'm not nosy like that.

You also talked about helping him out in the job process, you're still living in the 20th century brother. Here in the 21st century, we don't do that and it ain't just about what you know but who you know, putting a word or two in for him wouldn't have hurt and there's something called job recommendation, look it up

Don't attack the messenger, deal with the message

[quote author=tpia@]Seriously though, if even your own relative is cautious about sharing information with you ( eg your nephew story), then that might mean they've been noticing some things which you might or might not be consciously aware of.

For example, maybe you really dont wish others well?

Some people are like that and its not a thing they can consciously control, its just their nature to be negative and anti-other people's progress.

Just saying.

It could also be they dont want certain others to get to know through you, meaning you might inadverdently inform some people who they'd rather didnt get involved.[/quote]Ah Tpia, i'm sure i wish people well infact otherwise no one will want to be my friend
Definitely the second reason, there are way too many witches and wizards to be considered before a mere mortal like me

okpara ugo: The wizard aspect aside, there is a stage you will reach, you wont fear to disclose anything to anyone. Not even tale-tell or bad wishes will stop your business.

Vanguard banner headline... ''Dangote to build a tomato plant in Edo state''.

Oya, where are the witches to stop him ?

Exactly! I think it's more than just the so called witchcraft

Watching this game is like sitting down and watching paint dry..Zzzzzzz....boring