come for deliverance.

you need deliverance,

i ve some anointing oil.

@sexybabes
You say it is wrong with no explanation. How come it still goes on? Most of these chiefs have been to Europe and America and have seen what goes on , yet they go back home and still continue on the so called wrong path?

hilli666

I don't know where you got your version of the Bible from, but there are holes in your statement:

(1) God never told Abraham to cheat on  his wife with the househelp.
(2) Although Solomon had lots of wives and concubines, what was the end result?  They led him astray.

"Man must spread his seed" my foot - I know of a man with 10 wives, he's HIV positive; I heard of another man with 2 wives who raped a friend's daughter.  It isn't about "spreading seed" but exercising self-control, that's what distinguishes us from animals.  ANYONE will cheat if given the opportunity, like everything else in life it is a choice and people decide to do it or not, hormones or testosterone don't make us do anything. 

If cheating is so acceptable, is it that when people cheat they always feel terrible when caught or when they've done it (and sorry, you can't blame religion for this)?

Just because you know no faithful men or long term faithful marriages doesn't mean they don't exist, you need to broaden your horizons a bit.  I had a friend who worked as a sexual health educator, he said to me that he could never understand why men are so willing to chase sex "when AIDS is killing us like chickens" (his words).

If someone chooses to make cheating and having multiple partners a lifestyle choice they shouldn't complain when it bites them in the behind at a future date.

abyte: A man is only as faithful as his options

If infidelity was unnatural, it will not be such a rampant issue in every culture.

illusion2:

This is probably the most sensible post on this thread & we all identify with this. . . . . .

Some of us have lots of options and opportunities, but our commitment means much more than a shag with someone else!

na wooooooooo! cheating?i thought it,z normal to change soup when someone ain't married?

It all depends on you the individual.To me its more of a habit formed i.e cheating on your partner.Personally i dont cheat on my gal and i dont double date.I took my time before entering into relationships,to avoid heart breaks.I'm not blaming you any way,it may be a mistake but you can decide not to cheat on her again.

pls, do not let such happen again becos it does not pay. if u are sure u love ur girlfriend then nothing or no one should come between the both of u. there should be trust and a lot of self control in a relationship so that it will grow. people who say that men are not created to have one partner are shallow minded. if u know that ur girl friend is the forgiving type then u can explain to her but if not just caution yourself and dont let it repeat itself again.

@ poster

How would you feel if you found out the one you love is busy shagging another man? always put yourself in a girl's shoes

Feeling guilty, is very natural after d deed might have been done. but den it does'nt matter now does it?
if ur girl wnts 2 live long n stay out of a heart attack, i think she shld just act as if nothing ever happened,
wen she gets wind of it. dats wat i'll do if it were me cause no body is worth having a headache 4. Besides
enjoy ur life while still breathing lol.

Hairat007:

Feeling guilty, is very natural after d deed might have been done. but den it does'nt matter now does it?
if ur girl wnts 2 live long n stay out of a heart attack, i think she shld just act as if nothing ever happened,
wen she gets wind of it. dats wat i'll do if it were me cause no body is worth having a headache 4. Besides
enjoy ur life while still breathing lol.

Let me try to clear myself out here once more. I was a player for years until I met  my current bf in who I found a different kind of love, so I decided to stay clean and never to cheat on her. If you read my second post on this thread, I speculated that I have only cheated on her twice, the first time there was no remorse, but this second cheating made me feel bad.

Now you can see that Im going from bad to good, but on the verge of completing myself as being a good boy, to attaining self control was not that easy for me since its a procedural step, I made mistakes twice, of which one of the mistake brought about remorse. So I say its a stepping stone for me to go beyond what I crave for (cheat-less relationship).

I am quite confident that I am not the only guy that has gone from bad to good regarding what the post is all about, and this is to the people crucifying me for the mistake I made. Yes MISTAKE I SAY, Every1 makes 1.

OK
Maybe i am lil slow but i still dont understand why ppl will claim they are in love and still cheat?

D three letter word: SEX

topup:

'eyonigger' - Though I don't know you personally, I still can'y help but feel disappointed that you put yourself in this position, I thought you knew better, I know we're all human, but you know what cheating means, no matter what 'type' right?? Now you're looking for like-minds for comfort, that's what you're doing. These same people will try and convince you that these things are normal and expected.

I think the bad feelings you have should prove that what you've done is not good. That bad feeling is what's left of your conscience. I don't believe you love your girlfriend as much as you claim, I mean if she cheated on you and blamed it on your absence, how would you feel, would you feel loved? I'm sure you wouldn't tolerate it, you know deep down how serious the devastation of cheating is to a relationship.

When you cheat, your mind becomes cloudy, thinking it's a normal part of life is the first step, then you might begin to neglect your current relationship further, feelings of guilt will affect the way you behave in your relationship. This means the chances of your girlfriend feeling neglected, being tempted herself by another guy showing more interest and wanting to end the relationship from lack of attention increases.

Before you know it, the cat's out of the bag, she finds out, she can't trust you, she leaves OR she finds out forgives you but the relationship is never the same, and you might as well separate and move on.

LOVE

Well said by 'otele'.

@topup, though I do not like addressing people with their nicknames, I don't have a choice because I don't have any other identity of yours. Please do not nail me. I was actually enthralled by one of your posts so out of curiosity, I read more of your most recent posts which were also very commendable. Believe you me, I am not trying to flatter you, I want to acknowledge the way you handle matters here: very considerate, understanding, enthusiastic and intelligently too. Permit me to say that you are the only one I have noticed since I registered on this forum to criticize constructively and with tact too. Congratulations because I can not deny I am really impressed by what I saw.
Very long ago, I always desired somebody like you to help me with constructive admonition. Somebody that will stand up and advise me wisely especially on academics and morals. Although I don't regret much about my past, I believe that a life that is not examined is not what living (quote not mine). I need somebody to ginger me to take up challenges. That will make me strong and never to backout of challenging situations. I guess you posses these qualities. I am not asking for any romantic relationships but true friendship, devoid of immorality. I don't have friends I can trust so I resorted to this forum. Unfortunately, the many people here use foul language which I detest; but I could figure out a real gem here. I use my mobile phone for browsing and I don't know much about the internet.
Please can you do me a favour by being my good friend and adviser. I would not like to share my private information here because of online dangers of sharing private information especially on this forum. If you are willing to help, then please tell me how we can talk more privately. Needless to say I will appreciate it if you can do it for me, you can rightly guess I will. Thanks for your patience in reading this.

topup:

'eyonigger' - Though I don't know you personally, I still can'y help but feel disappointed that you put yourself in this position, I thought you knew better, I know we're all human, but you know what cheating means, no matter what 'type' right?? Now you're looking for like-minds for comfort, that's what you're doing. These same people will try and convince you that these things are normal and expected.

I think the bad feelings you have should prove that what you've done is not good. That bad feeling is what's left of your conscience. I don't believe you love your girlfriend as much as you claim, I mean if she cheated on you and blamed it on your absence, how would you feel, would you feel loved? I'm sure you wouldn't tolerate it, you know deep down how serious the devastation of cheating is to a relationship.

When you cheat, your mind becomes cloudy, thinking it's a normal part of life is the first step, then you might begin to neglect your current relationship further, feelings of guilt will affect the way you behave in your relationship. This means the chances of your girlfriend feeling neglected, being tempted herself by another guy showing more interest and wanting to end the relationship from lack of attention increases.

Before you know it, the cat's out of the bag, she finds out, she can't trust you, she leaves OR she finds out forgives you but the relationship is never the same, and you might as well separate and move on.

LOVE

Well said by 'otele'.

@topup, though I do not like addressing people with their nicknames, I don't have a choice because I don't have any other identity of yours. Please do not nail me. I was actually enthralled by one of your posts so out of curiosity, I read more of your most recent posts which were also very commendable. Believe you me, I am not trying to flatter you, I want to acknowledge the way you handle matters here: very considerate, understanding, enthusiastic and intelligently too. Permit me to say that you are the only one I have noticed since I registered on this forum to criticize constructively and with tact too. Congratulations because I can not deny I am really impressed by what I saw.
Very long ago, I always desired somebody like you to help me with constructive admonition and criticisms. Somebody that will stand up and advise me wisely especially on academics and morals. Although I don't regret much about my past, I believe that a life that is not examined is not worth living (quote not mine). I need somebody to ginger me to take up challenges. That will make me strong and never to backout of challenging situations. I guess you posses these qualities. I am not asking for any romantic relationships but true friendship, devoid of immorality. I don't have friends I can trust so I resorted to this forum. Unfortunately, many people here use foul language which I detest; but I could figure out a real gem here. I use my mobile phone for browsing and I don't know much about the internet.
Please can you do me a favour by being my good friend and adviser because I am not living accurately the kind of life I wished to live. I would not like to share my private information here because of online dangers of sharing private information especially on this forum. If you are willing to help, then please tell me how we can talk more privately. Needless to say I will appreciate it if you can do it for me, you can rightly guess I will. Thanks for your patience in reading this.

Jamesbona:

    @topup, though I do not like addressing people with their nicknames, I don't have a choice because I don't have any other identity of yours. Please do not nail me. I was actually enthralled by one of your posts so out of curiosity, I read more of your most recent posts which were also very commendable. Believe you me, I am not trying to flatter you, I want to acknowledge the way you handle matters here: very considerate, understanding, enthusiastic and intelligently too. Permit me to say that you are the only one I have noticed since I registered on this forum to criticize constructively and with tact too. Congratulations because I can not deny I am really impressed by what I saw.
    Very long ago, I always desired somebody like you to help me with constructive admonition and criticisms. Somebody that will stand up and advise me wisely especially on academics and morals. Although I don't regret much about my past, I believe that a life that is not examined is not worth living (quote not mine). I need somebody to ginger me to take up challenges. That will make me strong and never to backout of challenging situations. I guess you posses these qualities. I am not asking for any romantic relationships but true friendship, devoid of immorality. I don't have friends I can trust so I resorted to this forum. Unfortunately, many people here use foul language which I detest; but I could figure out a real gem here. I use my mobile phone for browsing and I don't know much about the internet.
   Please can you do me a favour by being my good friend and adviser because I am not living accurately the kind of life I wished to live. I would not like to share my private information here because of online dangers of sharing private information especially on this forum. If you are willing to help, then please tell me how we can talk more privately. Needless to say I will appreciate it if you can do it for me, you can rightly guess I will. Thanks for your patience in reading this.

I don't know what to say, I don't want to derail this thread either, but I would be glad to advise you (or stick my nose into your life ).
I don't want to share my private information openly either but I do have a blog, click here: http://twobeautifulminds..com check it out, you should find what you need there.

ufot:

@sexybabes
You say it is wrong with no explanation. How come it still goes on? Most of these chiefs have been to Europe and America and have seen what goes on , yet they go back home and still continue on the so called wrong path?

U know as much as I do that it is wrong. The reason why it still goes on its only because people are greedy and never satisfied with what they have.

N101:

hilli666

I don't know where you got your version of the Bible from, but there are holes in your statement:

(1) God never told Abraham to cheat on  his wife with the househelp.
(2) Although Solomon had lots of wives and concubines, what was the end result?  They led him astray.

"Man must spread his seed" my foot - I know of a man with 10 wives, he's HIV positive; I heard of another man with 2 wives who raped a friend's daughter.  It isn't about "spreading seed" but exercising self-control, that's what distinguishes us from animals.  ANYONE will cheat if given the opportunity, like everything else in life it is a choice and people decide to do it or not, hormones or testosterone don't make us do anything. 

If cheating is so acceptable, is it that when people cheat they always feel terrible when caught or when they've done it (and sorry, you can't blame religion for this)?

Just because you know no faithful men or long term faithful marriages doesn't mean they don't exist, you need to broaden your horizons a bit.  I had a friend who worked as a sexual health educator, he said to me that he could never understand why men are so willing to chase sex "when AIDS is killing us like chickens" (his words).

If someone chooses to make cheating and having multiple partners a lifestyle choice they shouldn't complain when it bites them in the behind at a future date. 

Thank you for clearing that one up. People turn to interpret Bible in a way to justify what their own deeds.

eyonigger:

Let me try to clear myself out here once more. I was a player for years until I met  my current bf in who I found a different kind of love, so I decided to stay clean and never to cheat on her. If you read my second post on this thread, I speculated that I have only cheated on her twice, the first time there was no remorse, but this second cheating made me feel bad.

Now you can see that Im going from bad to good, but on the verge of completing myself as being a good boy, to attaining self control was not that easy for me since its a procedural step, I made mistakes twice, of which one of the mistake brought about remorse. So I say its a stepping stone for me to go beyond what I crave for (cheat-less relationship).

I am quite confident that I am not the only guy that has gone from bad to good regarding what the post is all about, and this is to the people crucifying me for the mistake I made. Yes MISTAKE I SAY, Every1 makes 1.

Let me make something clear to you. The fact that you cheated only twice doesnt make you a less cheater. You cheated, you are a cheater just like the one who cheated hundred times more its still the same thing.
There is no going from bad to good here, you still the same person you were six years ago when you were a player according to you.
And YES everyone makes mistakes(im no saint myself), the difference is DO YOU LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES & NEVER REPEAT THEM. If you gonna keep on that statement you still gonna make mistakes and claim they are mistakes. If you say cheating is a mistake, you cheated on her 1st time that should have been a mistake and it shouldn't have happened again.

And I am not crucifying you!

sexybabes:

U know as much as I do that it is wrong. The reason why it still goes on its only because people are greedy and never satisfied with what they have.
Thank you for clearing that one up. People turn to interpret Bible in a way to justify what their own deeds.
Let me make something clear to you. The fact that you cheated only twice doesnt make you a less cheater. You cheated, you are a cheater just like the one who cheated hundred times more its still the same thing.
There is no going from bad to good here, you still the same person you were six years ago when you were a player according to you.
And YES everyone makes mistakes(im no saint myself), the difference is DO YOU LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES & NEVER REPEAT THEM. If you gonna keep on that statement you still gonna make mistakes and claim they are mistakes. If you say cheating is a mistake, you cheated on her 1st time that should have been a mistake and it shouldn't have happened again.

And I am not crucifying you!

I knw u aint crucifying me bro. But you need to understand the fact that If were to be the hardened player I was years back, I would have cheated more than twice be it she being around or not. Though I still count myself as a player having cheated on her twice, but it still cannot be compared to those years. Thats why I said its a procedural step.

Besides, one can cheat and never feel bad about it, I felt bad and I am ready never to cheat anymore after this last time. And I pray that God helps me, cos he nor easy mehn.

It is good for a man to walk on the dark side occasionally

Thore, u and ur talks ehn!!

eyonigger:


I knw u aint crucifying me bro. But you need to understand the fact that If were to be the hardened player I was years back, I would have cheated more than twice be it she being around or not. Though I still count myself as a player having cheated on her twice, but it still cannot be compared to those years. Thats why I said its a procedural step.

Besides, one can cheat and never feel bad about it, I felt bad and I am ready never to cheat anymore after this last time. And I pray that God helps me, cos he nor easy mehn.

Im not a bro, i am a babe. Lol!!!!

sexybabes:

Im not a bro, i am a babe. Lol!!!!

Lol, ok babes

TOPE2000!:

OK
Maybe i am lil slow but i still dont understand why ppl will claim they are in love and still cheat?

The same reason u eat noodles tho' u love ponded yam

illusion2:

The same reason u eat noodles tho' u love ponded yam

Lol, but does that relate to relationship?

illusion2:

The same reason u eat noodles tho' u love ponded yam

What is food got to do with this?

eyonigger:

Lol, but does that relate to relationship?

Not at all.

My bro,shit happens but am glad a guy can actually feel bad about cheatng, since u lov ur gal dis much try nd aviod situatns dat will make u cheat .

tea-baby:

My bro,shit happens but am glad a guy can actually feel bad about cheatng, since u lov ur gal dis much try nd aviod situatns dat will make u cheat .

I have been implementing measures since the past 2 days now to make sure that whatever may cause temptation wont come my way. I was with some few of my girlfriends (no string attached) I intentionally brought up the issue of cheating in a relationship, so i came up with a statement that I will never cheat on my girl, they were really amazed and interested in getting to hear more.

It was then that I knew that girls do really cherish guys that will not cheat on them or their Gf's.

@ Poster

Oh Boy you ain't funny at all and you must not tell me you regret doing that cause you'll even do it a thousand time more. . . . .

@topup, I am not very happy bothering you, I actually followed the link, surprisingly, they were talking about hair and all that-which is not what I need. I actually want to work on how I speak (I want to be more decent). My earlier posts will explain better about how I react to situations. I do not live exactly how I will be self fulfiled. Why did you say you don't know what to say? What is a blog? Do I open an adhoc email? Why not reread my earlier plea? Why not remove fears and monitor developments?

sexybabes:

What is food got to do with this? ;DNot at all.

its just an 'apere'. u love pounded yam (like ur babe),but u still eat noodles(ur skele or 'belewu'   ),i.e both na for enjoyment ultimately. When it get to wife,confirmed then d analogy doesn't apply again.

Hope this helps?

ocelot:
To the poster and all those that support his action (infidelity), and all those that cheat on their loved ones (both male and female): was it worth it? And do you guys have no shame? As far as I'm concerned, the negative consequences of cheating on your loved ones far outweigh the, "benefits" (if that's the right word). In return for a night of infidelity, what do you get? A name dragged through the mud, zero self-respect, broken hearts and a broken relationship, lack of trust, and betrayal.

What the hell happened to faithfulness, one's integrity, and self-control?

WORD!! Thank you jare, for this sane voice of reason!

cheating is bad stuff,i had been cheating on my gf who was so faithful and for sometime but id feel guilty about it but recently it got to a point i didnt even have a feeling for my gf of 5years, anymore cos the new loved me a lot but i knew i was all wrong cos i lied abt my gf.Now i had to stop cos i knew i am heading no where with all these,so i stopped the two relationships cos i had lied to the two of them and i have lost 2 loving girl cos of my playing.pls what is bad is bad stop it b4 it ruins u

illusion2:

The same reason u eat noodles tho' u love ponded yam   

right. . . . .