free2ryhme:

Does he knows his left from right?. I am not insulting him he reasons vaguely

BeastOfNoNation:


For a christian you really like insulting people . You too will stand before God on the day of judgement so relax small. I'm not possessed

BeastOfNoNation:


I'm pretty sure he knows his left from right. must you insult people because they don't follow your way of life. Marriage is not for everybody

BeastOfNoNation:


I'm pretty sure he knows his left from right. must you insult people because they don't follow your way of life. Marriage is not for everybody

free2ryhme:


I spell it the way it is. No insult

You don't need to be possessed. Even the mother of jesus will not open a thread of this nature.

If I had told you what you wanna hear then I would be singing your praise. That is not how I roll.

free2ryhme:



What is your indices in determining marriage is not for everybody?

You speak for yourself alone. Your position is just to find out if your kind exist on nairaland. Guess what? OYO

tripplephi:
Wow am impressed with your open mindedness. I wish more ladies are like you.

bimbod:


nah, I don't wish so

BeastOfNoNation:


But as righteous as you are, you opened the thread. Did I ask you to sing my praises or just answer my question? Me too, I won't tell you what you want to hear. I will tell you how I feel. I think you're a hypocrite to call yourself a christian and then insult people under the guise of "I spell it as it is".

BeastOfNoNation:


Why don't you wish so?

bimbod:


lol,... you can't just do ur own thing when in marriage. I prefer the conventional wife

BeastOfNoNation:


The fact that multiple people on this thread said that marriage isn't for them proves that marriage isn't for everybody. The fact that I, by myself, say that marriage isn't for me shows that marriage is not for everybody. I learned from Miggs that there is an identical thread like mine. And I have just found out that there is a word for it . It's called gamophobia.

BeastOfNoNation:


Okay that's nice. I hope you find a wonderful wife and have a happy married life or if you have one, good luck to you!

bimbod:


Thanks, tho i dnt have one yet... I like d fact that your idea of marriage is different, I like people with contradicting ideas. Just dat I prefer my own idea of marriage.

BeastOfNoNation:


I don't understand what you mean

BeastOfNoNation:


The fact that multiple people on this thread said that marriage isn't for them proves that marriage isn't for everybody. The fact that I, by myself, say that marriage isn't for me shows that marriage is not for everybody. I learned from Miggs that there is an identical thread like mine. And I have just found out that there is a word for it . It's called gamophobia.

BeastOfNoNation:


The fact that multiple people on this thread said that marriage isn't for them proves that marriage isn't for everybody. The fact that I, by myself, say that marriage isn't for me shows that marriage is not for everybody. I learned from Miggs that there is an identical thread like mine. And I have just found out that there is a word for it . It's called gamophobia.

BeastOfNoNation:


Sorry it was long I made some parts bold so that people can read the basic idea. I hope it did not burst your brain

ThreeGEEKS:

In today's world there's a word or term for everything. You don't want to get married or the fear of getting married "gamophobia".
If you read your Bible, there are several parts it says do not be afraid. Sorry I can't quote any verse but it is there, now do you know that the family is the foundation of the church and God Instituted marriage as a means for the procreation of man and growth of the church.
Now do you know why the family is under so much attack these days, because the devil doesn't want the continues growth of the church, so he continues to derail people by putting this fear of marriage in them and breaking the ones who are in it already.
So my advice to you is this, in everything you do in this life do not be afraid
I will assume that you went to Uni and graduated, did the fear of not succeeding stop you, I guess not.
You want a job but the country's economy is very bad and people are even loosing their jobs, did that stop you from applying, I guess not.
So why should marriage be any different?
You maybe wondering why I'm taking my time to tell you all this, well that's because I have been there, there was a time in my life I felt I will not find love so why bother looking for it. Turns out I eventually did and it changed my life. She is not perfect but neither am I, and I hope one day you too will find your knight in shining armor to make you believe that marriage is something worth fighting for.

BeastOfNoNation:
Hello Nairalanders!!

Recently, I realized that the idea of marriage doesn't excite me AT ALL. This realization came about when I was talking to my older cousin who's sister just recently got engaged. I was very happy to hear the news and we were all celebrating for her and wishing her good things. So while I was hugging her, she looked at me and said "Ejirooo! Very soon we'll be celebrating your own engagement ooo!" So we started laughing and she went to talk to the other cousins and aunties. It now occured to me that she was right. One day I will kuku marry. And the thought of that seriously scares me.

You see, I've had relationships before and I've met some of the nicest Naija guys on the face of the planet BUT I've never imagined myself being married to any of them. I've never even experienced real attraction to any of them

Ironically, I've imagined myself being a mother (I'm very nurturing and maternal by nature) and I think it's part of the problem. I would like to adopt children in the future and I haven't met any Nigerian guy who is okay with that idea. Please let me clarify, I WANT TO HAVE MY OWN CHILDREN but I also want to adopt some so that I can give them a better life. I know that being a single mother carries a stigma in Nigerian society but I like the idea of it personally. Lots of fathers are not even directly involved in the rearing of their child anyway.

My second issue with marriage is the multiple problems that can arise. Domestic abuse, Infidelity, Divorce, etc. It seems like everyday one person is having issues with their marriage and it's making me believe that this marriage thing isn't worth the pain. I don't like wahala in my life. I'm also afraid of those guys that control their women's lives and dominate in every aspect. I understand a male being masculine but I don't want to be regarded as a lesser human being to him. It seems like some guys can't differentiate between a wife and a slave

My third issue is that I just don't really understand the need for marriage. I'm pretty self dependent and I can't imagine living with a man let alone marrying one and taking care of him for the rest of my life. While dating, me and my ex just did our own thing. We both had jobs so I didn't need money (plus I have a father if I really need anything ). Marriage title won't add any benefit to my life so what is the use? When I used to go to my last church, the Pastor will be shaking and shouting and praying that the women in church will find husband. The women will now be jumping and fainting and rolling on the ground. I used to stand there and just look at them because I didn't understand. Is It because of Mrs. title or diamond wedding ring? Monogamous marriage doesn't even seem to work in Africa from what I've seen

I'm definitely going to marry just so that my mother will not shout but it will have to be somebody that does his own thing and isn't looking for the conventional wife. It just seems very inconvenient though.

So my questions are:

1) What is the actual use of Marriage?

2) Do any other females feel this way? (I specifically ask females because I have met males who feel this way but if you are male you can answer too )

3) Is marriage for everybody?

Please respond! thank you!

BeastOfNoNation:


That's my fear actually. I was even thinking I will marry just so my children aren't born out of wedlock and then divorce later.

BeastOfNoNation:


I like that perspective. I particular like the point of my life in old age. I've never really looked that far. I guess, in a way, I do want companionship but I just haven't met anyone yet Marriage is not really my cup of tea though so I guess that's where the problem lies