Please i need your help here,i was trying to get somewhere to narrate my ordeal
and i now found this place.I had a fight with my husband on thursday night,what
transpired btw us was that we had an argument and he opened the door to leave
the house around 10:30-11pm because that is what he always do anytime we have
misunderstanding and am not against it because he comes back before 9:30pm,but on
that thursday it was late to go out ,so when i heard door closed,i know he was leaving as
usual,so i opened the door and told him,he should come back that its late or i will lock the
door.i was holding our baby bc we have a 7month old baby inside the kitchen,all of a sudden,
he came over me and started beating me ,the baby had to fall down from my hand crying and
he didn't stop b4 i could gain my balance he had dashed off.So i waited for him to come back bc
that is what he does anytime our argument escalates to verbal words ,he would hit me and i have
been warning him bc we leave outside the country and if i dare report him to cops.so i waited for him to come back,so when he came back,i used i a stick and hit him back and warned him let today be first and last he would hit me.

So to cut the long story short he seized my stick and we started quarrelling ,he went outside to throw the
stick away,i locked him up unless he bring back my stick ,he smashed the glass and came inside ,that time am already in the bedroom,in the morning he parked all his bag and left us to work,he hasn't called or come home.Am all alone in this place bc we just relocated ,i dont have friends,his family has been calling but i told them he is at work.I have never called him or even ask of him in his place of work to make sure he is there,we love each other and he is not having an affair,i know that.And this is the first time this is happening.I dont know what to do,and i have a programme i will start next month.

He hit you while you were carrying your 7 months old baby? The baby fell down and he still did not stop beating you? Was he drunk? This your case get as e be? Why did you not run when he started beating you because of your baby? You wanted to use the baby as a defence and you probably purposely let the baby go so that he would stop?


Two wrongs does not make a right. Why do you have to hit him back? if you do not want the abuse anymore, you for don call the cops.

Tell your in-laws what's up even you know you are at fault. They may know eher to find him.

And did you say you love each other?

I forget to say that i told him i was sorry in the morning when he was packing his bags

Hope your baby is okay? You have a child now, your baby should be your highest priority.
As for your husband he probably needs sometime to cool off, he will be back. Try contacting his friends.
Don't make yourself a punching bag for a man that can't communicate but will rather beat you and run off.

No i did not use baby as a defence,i was facing backward and did not know when he came on me.

i dont think telling his parents will be the best thing,they dont know where he is,am contemplenting on telling my mother.or should i give him time??

May be his friends first if you know of any that he listens to.

His friends dont know too bc they have been calling me and we just relocated ,so we havent made friends yet.

One more thing
does he beats you regularly or this was a one-off?
If he beats you regularly biko call the police on him, let them come and cart him off when he get back.

If it was a one- off, when he gets home, sit him down and tell him you will have no other option but to call the police next time he lays his hands on you and please stand by your words if he tries it next time call the authorities.

Have you called his number by the way?

Thanks guys
It's just a one off,but i could remember he hit me last year ,just one smash

@AGABA ,I haven't called his number bc i know it will enter voicemail,he is the type
that doesn't charge his phone.He also left his charger

Does your husband do drugs?

Do you have normal communication with him when u are not quarelling?

have u prayed for him, if u havent then go on ur kneees to pray for him. d late pastor bimbo said dat a misbehaving husband is as a sign to d wife dat she is missin out somewere, maybe u re not praying. but anyway am sure he will come back, and if he does pray with him and talk to someone u know he listens to.

I dont think you will get a reasonable answer here, just sit your husband down and have a hearty discussion with him on the way forward.

Hitting him back wasn't a wise choice. . .sorry I would have called the cops were I in that situation. . .screw what anyone says. . .he hit you once without even considering your baby. . .he would do it again!

Couples experience tremendous levels of stress when they relocate to a different country. The truth is that both of you are under stress and you have to work doubly hard to succor one another.

He's not here, so here's my advice for you - Please do not drive your husband up the wall. Almost all heart-wrenching physical abuse (by the man) is preceded by an equally appalling big-mouth/verbal abuse (by the woman). Both actions are just as reprehensible.

You whipped your husband with a stick?

I know a man who lived in the park and in his car for six months because of his argumentative/cantankerous wife! Talk about a man's preference of living in the wilderness than in a palace with a warmonger Amazon.

You guys will reconcile; I have no doubt about that. However, please promise yourself not to "beat up" your husband with your tongue again!

I wish you nothing but the best.

Look am not here to defend the husband but during an arguments women don’t fight fairly, they dig deep into sensitive issues and throw it their man, some men would react some would walk away, but in reality a wife beater is a no no no it shows that he is a  coward! But did YOU say anything to him that might have triggered him to physically assault you?  And be honest!

agabaI23:

Does your husband do drugs?

Do you have normal communication with him when u are not quarelling?

i bet u think he is the first Nigerian to beat his wife.

tamarack:

Thanks guys
It's just a one off,but i could remember he hit me last year ,just one smash

@AG ABA ,I haven't called his number bc i know it will enter voicemail,he is the type
that doesn't charge his phone.He also left his charger

i seriously dont know why you guys think it is okay to argue, verbally abuse and add fighting too.  it is such a disgracefull thing to see adults who are supposed to be in loving relationships fight and tear themselves apart over insignificant matters.

if you were asked what caused this row it will be one useless matter but you guys have been brought up to always make your opinion matter in everything that you no more know this is your home and so have a personal responsibility to make it a peaceful and loving atmosphere. couples  destroy too many things any time you quarell let alone fight.

i do hope you learn your lessons and settle this peacefully when he comes back and please for the sake of your child work on this.  you guys have brought  a child into it so you both owe the child a duty of care and love not one of fighting and quarelling.  marriage is about endurance, patience, loving, giving, team work and learning to tollerate one another.

seriously, if i were you i will be telling his people so they dont say we didntdidn't it was happening.  one lunatic killed a cousin some years back becos she thought she was doing him good by keeping quiet.  it was too late before anyone knew becos they were in lagos.  she is 6 feet down under now.  

for all of you who cant control your anger by lashing out hope you go get treatment and counselling cos you cause too much pain.

candyshore:

[b]have u prayed for him, if u havent then go on your kneees to pray for him. d late pastor bimbo said dat a misbehaving husband is as a sign to d wife dat she is missin out somewere, maybe u re not praying. but anyway am sure he will come back, and if he does pray with him and talk to someone u know he listens to.[/b]

 what stopped the mother praying for her violent son?  i am all for praying but i dont think this idiot is violent becos he didnt marry a praying wife otherwise the whole non praying wives would be in A & E daily.

i am still wondering how we raise up people who this day and age think it ok to raise their voice let alone their hands on anybody. one word i kept hearing from my granny growing up was you defend your sisters not you beating them up.  you could commit any crime and get away with it but beat your wife and my granny heard it you were DEAD  in her books.

CALL HIM OOH, ABEG, Marriage is for better for worse. You are in the position of setting things right. A simple call might settle your quarrel. Don't create room for another woman to get to him since you said he is not seeing anybody. Come to think of it, why don't you send him a text message apologising and in it tell him you would call him at a particular time (choose a time that you know he is less busy or not busy). Remember, what dialogue can achieve between you guys, not even your entire village can achieve it.

Also, learn to use proper words for your husband if he is hot tempered, he might also be regreting his actions only that his ego will be hurt if he calls you first.

Send him at least 10 romantic text messages before you call him, this will surely cool him down and also remind him of the good old romantic days.

Goodluck

ThoniaSlim:

Hitting him back wasn't a wise choice. . .sorry I would have called the cops were I in that situation. . .screw what anyone says. . .he hit you once without even considering your baby. . .he would do it again!

then she should divorce him ini, you are big fool, she knowz why she didn't call the popos and i respect that. plz stop giving devilish advise if you've got nothing in your empty banging brain of no human use.

Just imamgine nairaland, ' she's insunuating that any slight domestic problem warrants her to call the military against her spouse i pity you, ' i'm sure you are either a lone parent or street buster of a kind.

Its a pity your husband had to beat you even while carrying your 7month old baby. Find a way to for give him, I believe he still loves you and will apologies when he comes back. If you don't know of any of his friends to contact for his whereabout just relax, he's going to come home soon to you. Devout your time solely on your baby and be happy

skyone:

then she should divorce him ini, you are big fool, she knowz why she didn't call the popos and i respect that. plz stop giving devilish advise if you've got nothing in your empty banging brain of no human use.

Just imamgine nairaland, ' she's insunuating that any slight domestic problem warrants her to call the military against her spouse i pity you, ' i'm sure you are either a lone parent or street buster of a kind.

lmfao. . .you think your insult means shit to me?      

work yourself up dude. . .while I sip on my soda here. . .

Hitting him back wasn't a wise choice. . .sorry I would have called the cops were I in that situation. . .screw what anyone says. . .he hit you once without even considering your baby. . .he would do it again!

THIS IS AN ENGLISH PERSON

pray for ur husband abeg
dont call no cops

all the people telling you to call the cops wont do such things

when he gets back abeg talk to him and beg him

u didnt tell us wht led to the fight. If he usually leaves when u people are quarelling, does this suggest ure always the cause of the issues?

You might also need to work on urself and stop doing stuffs tht triggers confrontations like what happened

e kpele o

omar22:


THIS IS AN ENGLISH PERSON

Calling me an English person makes no difference. . . She hitting him back was totally uncalled for. . .I do not support that at all!

She also should learn to control her tongue and temper. . .still doesn't warrant the man beating her up!

Read her story. . .obviously its not the first time he's hit her?

Now a man who can hit you without thinking of your child. . .can kill you!

So because I'm in love and married. . .I'll allow some idiot kill me before I do what's right. . .We only live once. . .I didn't come to this world with anyone. . .so I won't allow some demented fellow cut it short. . .because I'm hooked up. . .

I won't also say because I want to stay married and dead. . .then allow some idiot beat me up!  

Sorry, but i dont see the reality in this ur story "YOU HIT WITH A STICK AND ASKED HIM TO RETURN THE STICK AFTER HE SEIZED IT" this is simply a nollywood script

Somebody should please guide on how to send new topic for discussion and advice from the house. Thanks for responding

Go on your knees and talk to God in prayer. He (God) will bring him back home.

on the other hand,


Whats wrong with her calling the cops? should she wait for him to knock 7 bells out of her, in 1995 a Nigerian beat his wife to death only because she didnt want to call the police due to his immigration status, she died because of blood clot to the brain but the husband thought he was dishing out a lesson (well thats what he said in court).

Look I would tell any woman, "if the husband is dishing out a beating to you" you have a duty to report him, run or wait and see how strong your chin is when he lands the blows

omar22:

on the other hand,


Whats wrong with her call the cops? should she wait for him to knock 7 bells out of her, in 1995 a Nigerian beat his wife to death only because she didnt want to call the police due to his immigration status, she died because of blood clot to the brain but the husband thought he was dishing out a lesson (well thats what he said in court).

Look I would tell any woman, "if the husband is dishing out a beating to you" you have a duty to report him, run or wait and see how strong your chin is when he lands the blows

call the cops?
what if shes the one always on the assault?
the story didnt say

call the cops?
what if shes the one always on the assault?
the story didnt say

The guy could easily walk away and wait for her to cool down, raging woman could do anything when they are angry and they dont fight fairly, if a gun is in sight dont be shocked if she heads for it,