I advice her to discuss the issue with him. "What is the man's role?" and "what is the woman's role?" If she discovers that she does not agree with his views of what a woman's role is, then she should leave him.

In this day and age when people are getting enlightened, a man that treats his girlfriend as a cook is likely to treat her as a slave when they are married. Don't forget: men are always on their best behaviour when courting a woman. If he's courting you and already treating you like a cook, imagine what he would do when he thinks you 'belong' to him! Imagine the things he would do to break your will to pursue your ambitions.

Women just don't understand men and I wonder why.

wat did u say yr boifriend has turned u into a cook ,u shud be happy he didn't turn u to a punchin bag.u're rilly gon be a gud wife to most men u knw if u were ma gurl i'd hold u tite hw many gurls do wat u do,but it cud be love or lust it depends on u two.
i'm out.

tayotina:

Meanwhile there is no assurance that they are going to end up as man and wife. 

You said it, there is no assurance that they'll end up man and wife, so why bother herself? It isn't worth it, if you ask me! Guys like that will be even more difficult to please if they eventually settle as man and wife. I can imagine him saying the wife should sit down at home and become a full time housewife even against her will.

seun:
Women just don't understand men and I wonder why.

Just as men don't understand women!

jummy79:

seun link=topic=316.msg3037#msg3037 date=1117544592:
Women just don't understand men and I wonder why.

Just as men don't understand women!

Agreed, but considering how much time and effort women put into the issue of relationships I would expect them to know better! I mean, men know enough about relationships to get what they want - most of the time, we simply want to '[url=http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=get%20laid]get laid[/url]'. And that's all there is to it, I'm telling you!

[s]If not for what you've done for him, he'll never call you a crook. What have you done to him?[/s]

editor: Cook, not crook.

It really depends on the state of the relationship between your friend and her boyfriend cos from what i've observed most 'homely' girls like to do the cooking when cohabiting, now i ain't saying it's a ritual. Her boyfriend is probably taking advantage of the situation. BTW you didn't mention if the guy is making it obligatory, has she told him doesn't feel like cooking?

She has actually made it known to him on several occasions that she was fed up with the cooking. Even there are times that she refuses to cook for him, and sure, they normally quarrel over it.

tayotina:

She has actually made it known to him on several occasions that she was fed up with the cooking. Even there are times that she refuses to cook for him, and sure, they normally quarrel over it.

you know what I think.....the love is sure not there cos i don't see any reason why I would want to put my girl in a difficult postion. He's hurting her by making her cook serially like she's some robot maid.

It's obviously love that your boyfriend feels to eat ur delicacies. It's fun! It shows love.You are naturally a "cook". So he has not turned to one.
Enjoy! No complains or else...

It's obviously love that your boyfriend feels to eat ur delicacies

Run away from men who say things like this. When I first read the statement, it seemed like rubbish to me. But when I read it more carefully I realise it is crafted in such a way that a woman, being emotional, might accept it as the truth. Men that say things like this are known as playas - they are experts in the art of manipulation of women.

It is not love that makes your boyfriend want to eat your delicacies. It is hunger, ok? The man is hungry and he doesn't want to cook by himself or spend his money at a joint. Hunger is what makes people hungry, not love. Please.

It is not love that makes him force you to cook meals from you even when you are tired. It is selfishness. Extreme selfishness is what can make a man not care about the feelings of his so-called lover.

seun, i agre with you 2-4.
haba!na hunger wan kill the guy so!
guy abeg!!! no dey force ur babe 2 cook for you u hear.either u learn how 2 cook or... uh um!! i no go talk.

Yes this is love. Kitchen slavery love . The Guy is the master and the lady is the slave. Nothing much to say just that, African culture when it comes to relationships between the realms of the lady (as the girlfriend) taking good care of the guy (as the boyfriend) is really cool. I love it. I need an African lady (Any available one?)

my dear kazey,let me tell u,this stuff about African tradition is outdated stuff,or where were you when the world was advancing and Women Liberation emerged?
sorry oh!! come out of the 19th or 20th Century and shine ur eyes well well.

Ah seems you don't have a humour for my sarcasm? i was just being sarcastic

Actually, the babe concerned should take this as a priviledge and not a right.For the guy to be devoted to you to the extent that he can't eat outside unless he gets home means so much to me. Look he has been eating before you both get to know each other and could still be doing that but because of the change in configuration he adjusted to eating your food then don't misuse the opportunity for the easiest and the quickest way to deal with one's wife is too avoid her food.Do not let people around destroy your marriage cos marriage is between two people.Make everything that goes on in your house be personal co someone that lacks such opportunity to cook for her husband would definitely make you to be exactly like her.
On the other hand, the guy too should be a little bit reasonable She is not your slave but and helpmate.Handle her with care and always respect her. Good luck!

All the ladies here are feeling cool abi, look let me tell you all if your man decides that its your food he wants to eat all the time and you deny him this all the time , the day he will finally decide that he's add enough off it and makes up his mind not eat your food again loook na all you women here go start to give new posting " HELP MY BOYFREIND DOES'NT EAT MY FOOD ANYMORE PLEAE WHAT DO I DO HELLLLPPPPP ME

I have made many posts on this forum with the assumption that most Nigerian men enter into boyfriend/girlfriend relationships to get sex.

I apologize. It appears I have been wrong. Nigerian men enter into relationships to get food!

Legry, it appears you are getting it all wrong, it is not a bad thing for a guy to demand food, but when it becomes inconvenient for the girl, it is not fair on the guy's part!

legry:

if your man decides that its your food he wants to eat all the time and you deny him this all the time

He demands it all the time? so she's got no other work to do other than cook all the time, and for crying out loud they aren't married yet, so how does he expect 24hrs attention!

legry:

and for crying out loud they aren't married yet, so how does he expect 24hrs attention!

OK Thank goodness a lady finally says it out loud. My Ex ladies need to read this. When you are not married to a lady you shouldn't give her 24hrs attention !! that is very fair !! i think its a good concept although she is saying the lady shouldn't give the guy 24 hrs attention , but i think its fair if i apply it the other way round.. Hope you don't mind

Helllllllllllllllllooooooooooooooo! Kazey,
don't get me wrong, 24hrs attention i mean is referring to what legry said of providing food 24hrs!(all the time)

see me see trouble o. Guys you see them

kazey:

see me see trouble o. Guys you see them

Lol. na u dey originate trouble yoursef

I hope you understand that THEY ARE NOT MARRIED!
Case closed

If I'm dating a guy who loves food as much as this guy seems to, heavens forbid, I most porbably will call off the relationship.

Yes, it gives a woman joy to prepare food for her man, as it should indeed, but 'moderacy' is the word in everything one does. Demanding food of me every second on the day is really outrageous.

Tayotina, your friend is the only one who can decide if she wants to remain this cave man's 'mama put' or find true love eslewhere.

But Tayotina really come to think of it. are you not exaggerating the situation a little bit? I mean the guy goes to work right? and that means he is only maybe getting breakfast before he goes that is if and only if the lady is living with him. And besides comes back after lunch, many Nigerians eat lunch at work. Very few actually come back home. So its dinner? and really as i said thats only if the lady is living with him, and how much really does a man eat for dinner?

And if i might quote from what you said.

Tayotina:
It is so annoying sometimes when he calls because all he ever asks of is food and nothing else be it breakfast, lunch or supper.

When he calls? and its sometimes? maybe the lady in question is just slightly overreacting? or she is just lazy? (In that case using that as a reason) or maybe she made the mistake on winning his heart with food? and now she wants to stop what she taught him to get used to? i mean give that angle a taught really, don't you think

kazey: Yada yada

I'm ashamed to be a man.

Well go for surgery and change your gender then

Not necessary. All I need to do is change my nationality; I am sure that men from other countries do not have such ridiculous ideas about romance.

Boyfriend regularly demanding food from girlfriend. Other men saying, "it's a sign of love" or saying "shut up and face your womanly duty"? Ridi[b]k[/b]ulous!

These men are not traditional about premarital sex, but when the issue of cooking comes up they suddenly become traditional. Who are we decieving?

She needs to dump that man. Jeez.. Food?? Won ti fi ounje se ni? (dem take food do am?) ha!! na wa oo.

What?
He shuld be the one cooking for u and not the other way round.
U shuld cook for him when u feel like it and not him putting u to it cos una neva even marry sef,so y slave yourself for a Boyfriend?
I tire o

thats what we are talking about being dependent,

let your no be your no and let your yes be your yes

simple. abi na by force

Yes o.
yes be yes and no be no